PDA

View Full Version : Finding it difficult to get over girl after a 3 year LTR.



Seeker23
04-16-2014, 01:36 AM
Hey Guys.

Im very new to this forum, but I do need some solid advice in dealing with my breakup.

I have been dating this girl who I made my everything for over 3years. Honestly thought I would marry the chick. Started dating at the beginning of 2011.

Fast foward to the end of last year. I was going through a lot personally, I had (and still have) my financial difficulties where I was on a student loan in university and still working over 30 hours a week whilst studying to pay the bills. During this time I became very frustrated and wasn't as understanding as I normally am towards her. Admittedly she is an extremely sensitive person and I guess I just lost my tolerance with her at times.

This lead to her asking for a break 2 months ago, where I started acting overly nice in an attempt to win her back( stupid, I know), and we subsequently broke up about a month ago. During this time, I always had the intention of getting back with her because I am crazy about her and I never thought that I would lose her. Just found out that she started dating someone already last night, a guy she used to call her "gay best friend."

I know that we did grow apart, I became more deep and she was more shallow where things like new clothes and fun were her happiness and that's what she has found with this new guy. I have been stuck in a rut academically, have lost my job and I think I'm at the lowest point in my life. I have always been an achiever but I feel like this relationship and the breakup is causing me to fall emotionally apart.

how do I approach this? Need to get over her and move on finally..

Thank you guys.

Toolist
04-21-2014, 06:02 PM
Fix the rest of your life! If you're not exercising, start, you will feel better. Every time you feel sad, go do homework, get out there and get a job. It's hard to get started but once you're doing it it will take your mind off the breakup and you will be getting needed stuff done. Also, if you're really hurting you might try seeing a therapist, mine has helped me through a lot of rough spots.

Finally, own up to the fact that you let your emotions get in the way of you treating her well and to not make the same mistake again.

ONS
04-25-2014, 11:08 AM
x2 what Toolist said.

Also its expected and reasonable to go thru a period of grieving after such an intimate loss. Dont sweat that. Time will heal all. In the meantime, most important thing is to keep yourself busy..keep your mind off her...eventually time will do its trick and you will have recovered "before ya know it"
Hits the books, the gym, get out and be social as much as possible while adhering to your grind and focusing on education and finances. The importance of a degree and career path is huge now and later so focus on bettering yourself.
Keep chasing women. Try to ward off the ones that hit the skids when the times get tough. Tought times show true colors, single out those flighty women. Good luck.

Seeker23
04-27-2014, 12:15 AM
Thanks for the advice guys, really appreciate it.

Just a small update, I have started exercising and studying and sorting out my finances and all of that, but I just have a few questions about her..

I cant seem to 'stop' loving her and I cant shake thoughts of us getting back, regardless of how badly she has treated me through this. I am also quite angry at her because I always stood by her when she was going through her tough patches, where other guys would have run for the hills, and she just left when things got a little hard with me. I really feel like she still has too much of power over me.

Everyone says that I should give it time, but its not really about the time is it? Isn't it what you do during this time? Should I just dismiss the thought whenever I start thinking of her? Should I try completely forget about her?

We haven't seen each other for a month, but before whenever we did, we would start kissing and then she would tell me that we should just be friends after.

I really don't think that im in the right time or space for a gf, but I guess you can say I've got it bad..

QueenBee
04-27-2014, 06:33 AM
You're having a biological response to her.

Read this: Marriage Will "Break" Your Heart (http://demarkate.com/index.php/2-uncategorised/6-marriage-will-break-your-heart)