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Chups
01-06-2014, 04:03 PM
Reading the Get Over a Breakup tips article I came up with a question... What if before my ex I was already involved in the community for several years and was pretty succesful (Mexico); hooked up a lot and nobody caught my interest until her. Lasted 3 years with her and now I feel the relationship changed me and I'm not so excited about being back on the feild (nightclubs, bars, etc), knowing already what's out there waiting for me. What can be an advice for that?

don juan matus
01-08-2014, 07:13 PM
hola chups

why go back to the pinche bars y discotecas?

start reading and go to bookstores (new and used), libraries and coffeshops

start surfing or get a wicked drum and join a drumming circle or class

there are so many things you can do hombre, what does your heart say?

dance classes are awesome too. so many groups and clubs to join

volenteer at a charity or other non profit corp

djm

siter
01-08-2014, 07:27 PM
join a gym, workout, eat clean, read lots of books, get disciplined.

hanexs
01-08-2014, 08:00 PM
Well, I think everyone gave you good advice, but I would just add that your obviously not over her yet. Of course you don't want to get back in the game, when I went through the same thing I met lots of women, and at first NONE of them compared to her (in my crazy mind).

GFTOW is actually great advice, the best part is the T for ten. It takes a lot of experiences before you find a great one that energizes you, and makes you feel great. It took a lot to find her, it will take a lot to find your next one, but she and many others are out there.

DJM also had a good point, it doesn't need to be just night clubs and bars, there are many positive ways to meet women that don't involve pretending you like club music at 1AM. I joined a boot camp club a couple months ago and have got 5-6 more female friends from the prospect. This is a great opportunity for you to change, learn new things to love and be adventurous again.

Also, I am not sure what your social crew situation is, after a 3 year relationship it is probably reduced. I try not to view women as girls I may want to get with, instead they all get added to my friend list. So when I go to a club I can bring a few female friends with me and some buds. I friend zone them lol, I do this because I have more fun being surrounded by women and its also great social proof.

Good luck :)

Chups
01-08-2014, 08:44 PM
First of all I wanna thank you all guys for your advice, but maybe I was too ambiguous on my post. Let me sepcify a little.
I know what you're al gonna say, it's sad but true, my relationship was a long distance relationship. She was from Chile, I'm from Mexico City; I met her over there studying a semester abroad, with all the intentions just to sarge and have fun. I don't know why but I fell for her, but well it happened out of the blue, all that first love bullshit thing.

She lived over here for a few months and had a great time and we actually saw each other pretty often, it was a very serious relationship. Actually I'm going over there to study my masters on August on the best college on the subject over there (It's the best option for me and my carreer, that's why I chose Chile to study abroad in the first place).

I do appreciate your advices, I do workout very intense daily (crossfit), I run the Spartan Races and go over on some adventurous trips that don't involve nightlife, I read a lot for work and for pleasure, dance salsa, and all the other stuff you guys said; I love to snowboard and also the beach, but sadly Mexico city is too far away from that. The other part of my life is full with work all the week as a criminal lawyer, and my social circle is pretty wide because I never stopped hanging out with my friends because of the long distance relationship.

I've really tried it all, it must be that I can't get out of my mind that it was my fault that it ended because I got caught up in a lie about partying and I think you can figure out the rest.

Thanks anyways I really appreciate you responding this post.

hanexs
01-09-2014, 05:23 PM
Well, from your response you already seem to have an active life and a great social circle that is most of the battle. The one element missing, is that your still not over her, right? That would really contribute to the "been there done that" feeling. If thats it, it will take a while, a long while, and one day it will just be mostly gone as your enjoying someone else.

DirectConnect
01-27-2014, 02:21 PM
"Being back on the field" yeah : /
It is pretty hard to go back to clubbing and bar raiding after a long special relationship, been there done that.
The whole thing really depends on your social circle. After brake up I didn't have any friends. I got off with a clean slate. What to do? Whats next?
I've changed I don't want to party like crazy like I used to. I do go to bars now and than with bodies from work, but that's probably it.
As far as girls I meet quite a few girls online and dated them. Most importantly I'm busy with work.
I know I'm making excuses. I need to go out more, take drum classes or dancing classes, meet hot librarians and ask them out in person.

Chups I really don't want to go back to bars and clubs, been there done that, I know whats there I've seen it all!

Got to go rock climbing too.

DirectConnect
01-27-2014, 02:39 PM
Also, I am not sure what your social crew situation is, after a 3 year relationship it is probably reduced. I try not to view women as girls I may want to get with, instead they all get added to my friend list. So when I go to a club I can bring a few female friends with me and some buds. I friend zone them lol, I do this because I have more fun being surrounded by women and its also great social proof.

Good luck :)

As much I tried to be friends with girls it never really worked. Maybe due to my sexual nature If my friend has p...y and t!ts I'm just gonna do my job as a man.
I wanna say you have great idea to social proof. lol "Friend Zoning Women" could actually work in your favor if you're ok with it. So many guys are trying to avoid that "friend zone" thing, but look you are actually using it to your advantage. What ever works for you pel. It probably would not work for me. When it comes to a woman I naturally tend to dominate her, divide and conquer, shape her into a women I want her to be. Manly girls come to mind, they act like man and try to pretend they are manly. I've met girls like that few times and still slept with them. Can't even be friends with a manly women : (

hanexs
03-02-2014, 08:09 AM
I actually think its my sexual nature that makes it work. Too many times I have had women attracted to me, but shunned them because they werent what I wanted right then and there, or they didn't want to give me what I wanted. Its not about the domination, its about long/short term. Women love friends that they get with, women love fwb's, it is men who generally can't handle that sometimes a fwb means a friend also.

I am also older, and when you start wanting to be social and all your buddies are whipped and at home, you start valuing the women who are messaging you to go for apps or drinks or whatever. I am not saying dont hit on a girl you find attractive, I am saying don't banish a woman who wants to be a friend just because she is not into you (yet). There is something crazy attractive to women about a guy who can just sit, smile, and confidently NOT get IOI's.

boston_019
03-08-2014, 08:14 AM
You have many options for places to game, but if you just went through a breakup, why game at all? Take some time for you. Be selfish. Go on a trip and lift weights. Grow a beard, or shave your head. Just be you for a while.

moneyspills
03-13-2014, 06:11 AM
Reading the Get Over a Breakup tips article I came up with a question... What if before my ex I was already involved in the community for several years and was pretty succesful (Mexico); hooked up a lot and nobody caught my interest until her. Lasted 3 years with her and now I feel the relationship changed me and I'm not so excited about being back on the feild (nightclubs, bars, etc), knowing already what's out there waiting for me. What can be an advice for that?

I think you love her so much that you wouldn't want to lose her. In that case, If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, but you treated her badly, then you may find it hard making up with her. This may sound like bad news to you, but you should never have hurt her in the first place. You need to acknowledge that you did some nasty things to her, but also figure out how you will make it up to her. If you can find a realistic solution, then you may have a chance to get her back.

I found this video on youtube and I believe it will be of help to you:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i6zXvEVBHA