PDA

View Full Version : Best Friend's Sister.



Ricker
07-18-2006, 10:19 PM
Hello everyone, this is my first post on this site, and I thought I should share something, (with great detail if you want to read it) that I might only tell you guys, or a psychiatrist, maybe, MAYBE ;P
Here's the problem, I'm 20, I've known a friend for almost 15 years now, I mean, I was basically a rugrat when I met him. For the past 15 years I've been close to the family, I wouldn't see them every day, due to seperation - however I'd definately see him 3 weekends a month or so, and in summertime we'd see eachother a lot too, and we'd still be in contact here and there on the weekdays when he wasn't around.
About 4 years ago... I got a bit of a crush on his younger sister (Whom is now 3 years younger than me), through the years I had been toying with this very awkward idea - and up to about last year I think I've come to a realization: I'm in love with her. This isn't a delusion, I am pretty sure what this is - and in the following paragraphs I'll explain why this is NOT good.
(I'm going to recall as many important memories I have in regards to my situation, so read on if you'd like, I'd also like to point out I'm a VERY good reader of reactions and body expressions, I'm a cardplayer.. ;P)
Year 1: She was 13, I was 16 - I told my mates at school, and they ragged me for being a pedophile and stuff, it's all in good fun, they still call me one and it's a good laugh, I'll play along just for fun. When this started I had a very solid read that she had a crush on me, stuff like taking pictures when I was talking to my buddy, always laughing at all my shitty jokes, telling me I should meet her friends when I visit where they live (I go every so often, maybe once or twice a year, it's close to where I live so it's not a big deal).
I went there for the first time, and it was okay, we went out one afternoon on her lunchbreak, she had a friend with her... and that was that, a month later it was like a complete 180, she was very strident, in fact downright... not rude, but a step lighter. On and off we would be on this sort of rocky relationship while I'd still see my buddy every weekend or so.
Year 2: Don't remember so much, a lot of it was a rocky road but we remained cool for the most part.
Year 3: I feel our "Friendly" relationship solidified, and a lot of her angst sort of became a thing of the past. Still, just documenting looks, smiles, laughs, not as much to work with. Would talk a lot more on IM's.
Year 4 (THIS YEAR): This is very interesting, because we have had this weird relationship (and I say weird because I feel there is some obviousness in my actions - I mean, subtlties in my action can't be hidden, girls know when guys like them. So it's kind of obvious. The family probably knows. Or has known for some time.) But every year a bunch of people go camping, my friend, his sister, his dad, myself etc. All in all there are usually 20-30 people there. I have gone for a few years now, and this year - I brought a wingman. I told him the score and what to do, as I didn't want to stare at her at ALL, I wanted an outside perspective - and here's what he documented. I trust this source with my life, and completely think what he's saying was accurate.
Couple times per minute or so, she would stare at me, 5-10 seconds or so... so 1-2 times per minute this would happen, EVEN IF I WASNT SAYING ANYTHING. He describes the look as an interested look, parted lips, wide eyed, smiling occassionally, KEEP IN MIND, I'm not saying a damn word, and when I was, laughing, or interaction like usual.
Here's what I say, What's the fucking deal? I mean - Recently we don't talk much, (here and there on IM's) we've always had this weird distance seeing as I dont see them every day, but this TECHNICALLY isn't a long distance thing with her anymore, she moved closer, the brother is still a ways away... but back too it, I have heard other opinions, one says she could be potentially interested, another person said "it could be a game", but if I'm not even looking in her direction... I mean, I just find that hard to believe.
There are SO many other subtlties that I'm not bringing up that would suggest that she likes me, and I can go into it in a further post, but take my word for it we've known eachother a long time, smoked a lot of grass together, and this thing recently...
KNOW that I could never ask her out. This isn't some girl in highschool and I'm some pussy so the solution is writing a loveletter to stuff in a locker, no, this is a problem of the worst kind. I figure the only solution is getting into some sort of drunken makeout session somehow, who knows... sigh... Any thoughts or advise would be GALDLY appriciated, and believe me, any questions I'd be glad to answer.
All the Best.
Richard Doughtry.

Hawt
07-18-2006, 10:22 PM
Read this thread.
http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1358
You aren't in love. You have oneitis. It's what got most of us into the game in the first place.
I wrote a post on how to game your oneitis here - http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15909 but I doubt it is going to do much for the situation you're in right now. You seriously should probably go for the typical oneitis solution and fuck 10 other girls. You would have to do one hell of a take away if you have known the girl this long and have made a move.

antman
07-20-2006, 08:04 AM
Hello everyone, this is my first post on this site, and I thought I should share something, (with great detail if you want to read it) that I might only tell you guys, or a psychiatrist, maybe, MAYBE ;P
Here's the problem, I'm 20, I've known a friend for almost 15 years now, I mean, I was basically a rugrat when I met him. For the past 15 years I've been close to the family, I wouldn't see them every day, due to seperation - however I'd definately see him 3 weekends a month or so, and in summertime we'd see eachother a lot too, and we'd still be in contact here and there on the weekdays when he wasn't around.
About 4 years ago... I got a bit of a crush on his younger sister (Whom is now 3 years younger than me), through the years I had been toying with this very awkward idea - and up to about last year I think I've come to a realization: I'm in love with her. This isn't a delusion, I am pretty sure what this is - and in the following paragraphs I'll explain why this is NOT good.
(I'm going to recall as many important memories I have in regards to my situation, so read on if you'd like, I'd also like to point out I'm a VERY good reader of reactions and body expressions, I'm a cardplayer.. ;P)
Year 1: She was 13, I was 16 - I told my mates at school, and they ragged me for being a pedophile and stuff, it's all in good fun, they still call me one and it's a good laugh, I'll play along just for fun. When this started I had a very solid read that she had a crush on me, stuff like taking pictures when I was talking to my buddy, always laughing at all my shitty jokes, telling me I should meet her friends when I visit where they live (I go every so often, maybe once or twice a year, it's close to where I live so it's not a big deal).
I went there for the first time, and it was okay, we went out one afternoon on her lunchbreak, she had a friend with her... and that was that, a month later it was like a complete 180, she was very strident, in fact downright... not rude, but a step lighter. On and off we would be on this sort of rocky relationship while I'd still see my buddy every weekend or so.
Year 2: Don't remember so much, a lot of it was a rocky road but we remained cool for the most part.
Year 3: I feel our "Friendly" relationship solidified, and a lot of her angst sort of became a thing of the past. Still, just documenting looks, smiles, laughs, not as much to work with. Would talk a lot more on IM's.
Year 4 (THIS YEAR): This is very interesting, because we have had this weird relationship (and I say weird because I feel there is some obviousness in my actions - I mean, subtlties in my action can't be hidden, girls know when guys like them. So it's kind of obvious. The family probably knows. Or has known for some time.) But every year a bunch of people go camping, my friend, his sister, his dad, myself etc. All in all there are usually 20-30 people there. I have gone for a few years now, and this year - I brought a wingman. I told him the score and what to do, as I didn't want to stare at her at ALL, I wanted an outside perspective - and here's what he documented. I trust this source with my life, and completely think what he's saying was accurate.
Couple times per minute or so, she would stare at me, 5-10 seconds or so... so 1-2 times per minute this would happen, EVEN IF I WASNT SAYING ANYTHING. He describes the look as an interested look, parted lips, wide eyed, smiling occassionally, KEEP IN MIND, I'm not saying a damn word, and when I was, laughing, or interaction like usual.
Here's what I say, What's the fucking deal? I mean - Recently we don't talk much, (here and there on IM's) we've always had this weird distance seeing as I dont see them every day, but this TECHNICALLY isn't a long distance thing with her anymore, she moved closer, the brother is still a ways away... but back too it, I have heard other opinions, one says she could be potentially interested, another person said "it could be a game", but if I'm not even looking in her direction... I mean, I just find that hard to believe.
There are SO many other subtlties that I'm not bringing up that would suggest that she likes me, and I can go into it in a further post, but take my word for it we've known eachother a long time, smoked a lot of grass together, and this thing recently...
KNOW that I could never ask her out. This isn't some girl in highschool and I'm some pussy so the solution is writing a loveletter to stuff in a locker, no, this is a problem of the worst kind. I figure the only solution is getting into some sort of drunken makeout session somehow, who knows... sigh... Any thoughts or advise would be GALDLY appriciated, and believe me, any questions I'd be glad to answer.
All the Best.
Richard Doughtry.
DIE

Regiment
07-20-2006, 08:44 AM
I haven't read your long ass post... because your title was enough:::
Best Friend's Sister
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
FUCK NO.
NO.
There are BILLIONS of women out there... and you want your "Best Friend's" sister?
DUDE, you ARE going to loose that friend.
No.

Dirk
07-20-2006, 09:04 AM
Regiment not 100% correct.
I got to know a brother and sister trough a friend of mine and became friends with both. Not very goods friends I would talk to both on/off on a regular basis.
anyway after a while something happened between me and the sister, and she is now by gf and i still have a good relationship with the brother.
so in my experience it depends on how good you know the friend and how he handles his sisters relationships. I have another friend with 2 younger sisters (hot aswell) but he is protective about them and i would never do anything there.
about your current problem: Either you game her or you not. If you choose to game her talk with your friend first. (and it doesnt even matter if she likes you or not... if she does you got an easy game, if she dont there are plenty other girls out there ;))
//Dirk

Ricker
07-20-2006, 11:05 AM
If my friend has the problem of hating me for the rest of his life for something like this - then fuck him, personally - I'd get pissed too, but if he completely just told me to fuck off forever, then how good of a friend was he?
Dirk, I know him VERY well, but she seems to have kept herself pretty avail. for the past few years, I only know of a couple relationships that didn't last long, I don't think he cares so much as long as the guy isn't a complete dickhole.

antman
07-20-2006, 12:12 PM
you are not in love with this girl. im not even gonna give my normal advice of drop her for 6 months and learn game.
DROP HER FOREVER
if you took the time to make this thread and go in depth of how well you know her and specific instances citing that then you need to see a shrink before you turn into a rapist or something.
what you need to do is go see a shrink, get yourself straightened out, and go sarging and learn game. Hell go pay hypnotica a couple grand to make your forget this chick forever because you have one of the worst cases of oneitis ive ever seen on an online forum.
dont ever look at a picture of her again, dont think about her, dont mention her name, certainly dont ever read this thread again, ERASE her from your life.

Ricker
07-20-2006, 01:50 PM
Well Ant, I don't feel I need a shrink, it's a strange situation, I've had girlfriends before, this isn't some sick obsession where I've got a shrine or anything, its almost like an ongoing thing where it's just I can't quit the fact that THIS IS DOABLE, I know this sounds like a hurdle for me, but frankly I have no clue how to explain this, you all seem pretty SURE that this isn't love, not saying that you are WRONG, it's that you don't know the whole situation, and to just go in the dark and say it seems pretty bold.
I resent being called a potential rapist by the way.
EDIT: By the way, I've toyed with the fact of dropping it forever, but at this point it would be hard to just do that - I can shut out the romantic intent I've always had, but it seems like I'm quitting something that I might regret later in life. I think I'll be okay in the end.

Regiment
07-20-2006, 02:10 PM
Dirk, you're new here, so I'll take it easy.

Regiment not 100% correct.
Ok, correction,
Regiment, 100% correct.

I got to know a brother and sister trough a friend of mine and became friends with both. Not very goods friends I would talk to both on/off on a regular basis.
So we know that rules out that you where "Best Friend" with this guy, like this thread's title so clearly fucking says.

anyway after a while something happened between me and the sister, and she is now by gf and i still have a good relationship with the brother.
Aha...
And, how long will this relationship last?
________________ <-- insert your answer here
Ok, now 2nd question:::
If it's going to last ___________, then why the hell are you in these forums? Learning these pick-up techniques?
you talkin' to me?

so in my experience it depends on how good you know the friend and how he handles his sisters relationships. I have another friend with 2 younger sisters (hot aswell) but he is protective about them and i would never do anything there.
Um, again, "BEST Friend's Sister".
It's a no-brainer dude... go look for your brain... aparently, it ran away with your refrigerator.

about your current problem: Either you game her or you not. If you choose to game her talk with your friend first. (and it doesnt even matter if she likes you or not...
Why the fuck would you game her, if

there are plenty other girls out there ;))
Your arguments are full of holes.
Worthless, IMO.
<><><><><>
Now... to Mr. Fucked-up In The Brain,

but if he completely just told me to fuck off forever, then how good of a friend was he?
A friend that you'll regret loosing for the rest of your life.
Put yourself in his shoes...
What kind of 'good' friend are YOU, Ricker?

I don't think he cares so much as long as the guy isn't a complete dickhole.
I don't know dude...
You can't talk to your best friend about "bitches", and girls, and hitting on girls, and getting your dick sucked... and cuming on a girls face... and making her orgasm up her ass... when he knows you're talking about his SISTER.
Jesus dude... go hit your self over the head with a pipe. Try and smack some sense into you.
Best to you dude,
-Regiment
.

antman
07-20-2006, 03:56 PM
We need to make a sticky with the top 10 worst oneitis posts, and put this one at the top of the list.

Ricker
07-20-2006, 06:24 PM
Now... to Mr. Fucked-up In The Brain,
He must be refering too me! :)
A friend that you'll regret loosing for the rest of your life.
That depends.
Put yourself in his shoes...
What kind of 'good' friend are YOU, Ricker?
I can't really be blamed for this, you know, I'm not trying to hurt anybody. This is one of the reasons I have been very hesitent.
I don't know dude...
You can't talk to your best friend about "bitches", and girls, and hitting on girls, and getting your dick sucked... and cuming on a girls face... and making her orgasm up her ass... when he knows you're talking about his SISTER.
You must have confused me with someone who has the maturity level of a 15 year old. Where are we, in Gym class or something?
Jesus dude... go hit your self over the head with a pipe. Try and smack some sense into you.
It COULD help! :)
Best to you dude,
Thank you.
I am not in disagreement with some of the things said, it's a problem and I've been trying to let it go, again, you guys make me out to be some sort of serial rapist who is attached to one person and cant let go and have a shrine and I stalk people etc etc etc.
No, no no no no no. It was not my intention to give that vibe off, like I said, I've had girlfriends, it's not a big deal - This is something that has become some weird sort of goal, is it immoral? Personally the way things are going now, (if you knew it all you'd agree) I wouldn't care less either way how things turn out.
Thanks for all the replies that weren't flames.

Regiment
07-20-2006, 06:29 PM
^^^^
Hey, Ricker,
Thanks for not getting pissed off and going ape-shit on me.
Anyway, you can do what you want...
But, there are BILLIONS of girls out there...
Do you think you're going to be with her for the very rest of your life?
Dude, c'mon... be reasonable.
Just, game OTHER girls.
FORGET what has happened with this one... how things have progressed... the emotional rollercoster she took you on.... whatever.
Your friend will be there... Girls, you know they come and they go.
Women are temps.
Bros are base.
Just my 0.02 dude... best to you :)

Ricker
07-20-2006, 06:30 PM
Bros before hos? hahaha

Regiment
07-20-2006, 06:36 PM
Bros before hos? hahaha
Yeap.
But if it's a real friend. And even more, if he's a "Best" friend.
And I mean, I started (started, haven't gone 1/4 the way) reading your post (#1 on this thread) and, I see this has been going for a couple of years... dude!
It's puppy love!
That's the expression we have in the community:
G F T O W
Go Fuck Ten Other Women
Do what you feel is right...
I know what I would do...
And in fact, I've had to take that decision two or three times in my life... and not once have I floundered. Bros' sisters are OUT of the panorama.
:)
Peace and love dude, peace and love,
-Regiment
.

Hawt
07-21-2006, 11:28 AM
Ricker, you aren't in love. If you think so, you're an idiot. You haven't even slept with this girl yet. If you're willing to risk throwing away your friendship with your best friend because you're just sooooo in love, and you're going to be 2-getha4-eva then go for it.
I don't know about you but I talk about sex with my guy friends, it's just something GUYS DO. Obviously you are "more mature than a 15 year old" so you aren't going to do that around your friend and kill off part of the natural male bonding between best friends. No guy wants to hear about his sister taking it in the face.
I have a couple close best friends that have really hot sisters. I don't game them though, it's bro's before ho's and I know that there are plenty of other chicks I can date that AREN'T MY BEST FRIENDS SISTER. Fuck, use her as a pivot to get in with her OTHER HOT FRIENDS.
Just think about what is going to happen when you and your "BEST FRIENDS" sister break up. (I know it's never going to happen because you are soooo in love, but just go with me on this.) It's going to be fucking awkward. It is going to weaken your friendship with your best friend (assuming that you are even s till friends) because he is going to associate all the negative feelings his sister has about you after the break up with you too.
I could never imagine myself dating my best friends sister, maybe because I am a good, loyal friend.
You say that this is still "Do-Able" and maybe it is, but if you're going to do and you are really so in love with this girl then stop being a fucking pussy, sack up, and go for it.
Post your field reports of trying to undo the AFC image you built up the past 4 years in her mind. I'm sure they will make good reading and if you can do that we will all be able to learn a lot from them.
Best of luck.

Ricker
07-21-2006, 08:34 PM
Ricker, you aren't in love. If you think so, you're an idiot.
Well, according too you. It's not an easy thing to talk about.
I don't know about you but I talk about sex with my guy friends, it's just something GUYS DO.
I think there was a miscommunication, I do this, but the question was would I do this to her brother, I can just imagine, hey buddy, she screamed real loud when I came in her... riiight....
No guy wants to hear about his sister taking it in the face.
We are in agreement.
I know that there are plenty of other chicks I can date that AREN'T MY BEST FRIENDS SISTER.
Same here, I really can't give you a full agreement with this "This isn't love" thing - again, it's tough to talk about and it's very complicated.
Just think about what is going to happen when you and your "BEST FRIENDS" sister break up. (I know it's never going to happen because you are soooo in love, but just go with me on this.) It's going to be fucking awkward. It is going to weaken your friendship with your best friend (assuming that you are even s till friends) because he is going to associate all the negative feelings his sister has about you after the break up with you too.
I've covered this with other people. You are telling me something I already know, it's obviously a possibility.
I could never imagine myself dating my best friends sister, maybe because I am a good, loyal friend.
As am I. I'm not out to hurt anyone. If it happens, it happens.
if you're going to do and you are really so in love with this girl then stop being a fucking pussy, sack up, and go for it.
If I had a nickel... Hahaha. In all seriousness, I will eventually depending on what happens in the future, because you never know.
Post your field reports of trying to undo the AFC image you built up the past 4 years in her mind. I'm sure they will make good reading and if you can do that we will all be able to learn a lot from them.
Will do, and if this turns out well - I will not only try to post my findings, I will film myself doing a backflip. ;)
Best of luck.
Thanks, same to you in your endevours.

Lock
07-21-2006, 09:20 PM
I'm with the others on this one bro. You don't love her it's oneitis. I've been there, hell we all have. But come on do you really want to be dating a girl that is still in highschool? And it seams like you allready have your mind made up on this subject so why even ask any of us for help? you just shoot down everything that is said. Don't get me wrong I hope you get the girl if that is that will make you happy, but you need to step back and take a long look at what people are telling you and at yourself.
good luck to ya
Lock

Ricker
07-21-2006, 11:54 PM
I'm with the others on this one bro. You don't love her it's oneitis. I've been there, hell we all have. But come on do you really want to be dating a girl that is still in highschool? And it seams like you allready have your mind made up on this subject so why even ask any of us for help? you just shoot down everything that is said. Don't get me wrong I hope you get the girl if that is that will make you happy, but you need to step back and take a long look at what people are telling you and at yourself.
good luck to ya
Lock
No, there is no way I'm shooting down anyone on this subject. I am still very conflicted - I'm not saying you guys are wrong, I'm saying you'd lean a step or two to my side if you had my brain implanted into your heads.... god forbid right? ;)
I am in much agreement with a lot of people and what they've said, but I also feel the whole "BUT ITS A FRIEND" more of a jumpable hurdle than some would expect.
I have a friend who's met both of them, and he told me, almost a direct quote: "Rick, there is chemestry there man." to which I replied "Yeah... well, I might just drop the whole thing. It's too much sometimes." to which he concluded what I had in my mind "Well, you might end up regreting it"
From what I gather there are 2 ways to handle it
Ballup, man up, whatever the terminology and go for it... to which I will definately keep you guys posted, and will read the guide that was #2 in this thread.
Or... Drop it, completely blank it out and move on. You guys could very well be right, it could be "oneitis", but then again, what harm will it cause to try? Fuck it, ya know? I might regret it forever.
Thanks for the wishes, and believe me I have nothing but pure gratitude for everyone who left an objective message. You guys are all heart. :cool:

Sting_001
07-22-2006, 01:11 AM
There is a part of me that says that this is a total case of oneits too...and in part I agree with most of the other posts that say best friend's sis is off limits....but having said that there is a part of me that wants to see this thing work.....but that is me....I am here for choice, I want the girl I want to date on my terms that is why I am here...but if I could find her without this stuff and be happy with that for the rest of my life I would so be there.
So if this is forever then congrats, you found the one in a million and that is a rare thing.
if it really is oneits then we will see you here in a few months :rolleyes:

tuggles
07-22-2006, 06:42 AM
Others have said it, but i must repeat them: GFTOW. Seriously, you will be thanking yourself later. Go on a sarging+study binge, swim with some of the billions of other fish out there. aim at reframing yourself so that she is off-limits, she should be already. I made the mistake of dating a friends sister in year 7, it ended up being a bad experience all-around.

Superhands
07-24-2006, 06:01 AM
Mate I agree with the others and for me a best mates sister is off limits.
But if you take that out of the equation basically what your saying is that youve had a crush on a girl for 4years. At the age of 20 youve gotta grow the balls to at least tell her how you feel ( I know this is AFC but... you and the situation your in are) And at least then you know what to do.
If she feels the same...bingo.
And if she don't then go away, learn same game and sarge some girls that are worth posting about.
Best of luck to ya!

Dirk
07-25-2006, 08:50 AM
Thank you Reginald. im glad you take so good care of the new people joining these forum and shooting down what they post...
anyway.
I agree that this might be oneitis (and properbly is) but as you say yourself you can regret it later.
You all say that there are a million other girls out there.. why cant she be one of them? If you are so good friends with your mate you will be friends after this whatever happens (again depending on what type he is with his sister...)
and Reginald i still disagree that you cant have a relationship with your best friends sister. it IS doable if the friendship between you and the friend is right.
//Dirk