PDA

View Full Version : New and desperate



smooth
12-15-2005, 09:48 AM
As lucky wrote i also am here after picking up and reading "The Game" by style, im 23 years old, and im not physically repulsive i mean i get women, but my only problem is breaking the ice i can go a whole night without approaching anyone, but if the ice gets broken by them or a friend then im fine the rest of the night, but for somereason i cant break the ice myself, i get wayyyy too shy about the whole encounter, and my major fear of rejection begins to set in, i mean i already know and think hell if she says no its not like something bad is going to happen, but its just that i cant bring myself to be willing to tolerate the fact that she will say no, which in turn causes me to not approach her, and causes another bored night of drinking alone at the bar.
.... I know my appearance needs changing but i dont know what to change about myself, most women give me the you look fine approach, but somehow i can sense that their thinking something else. im posting a link to my picture so that i can get some feedback on what to change....
http://www.dateomaha.com/index.php?page=gallery&id=745

porky
12-15-2005, 10:07 AM
hey dude...ok firslt GET A NICE HAIRCUT!!!! (id recomend growing your hair a bit too)
Get rid of the mastshe (how u spell that?)
er...sunglasses....
porky- AKA Tuaro

SunnyD
12-15-2005, 10:12 AM
First things first brother you need to get over that "fear of rejection" or you will never even be in the game. You will be just like everyother AFC standing around the bar flexing and saying " Dang that chic is hot". You need to do the newbie mission as they call it. Start talking to everyone guys, girls no matter where you are at, grocery store clerk, clothing strore employee's etc. just to try to make yourself a more sociable person. Also go to the mall or something and every woman you pass just say hi and nothing more, you might be suprised what happens with the women and your confidence. I know used to be petrified of women and rejection would devastate for days. When you eventually get to the point of saying oh well she's missing out, oh wait there's another woman just like her across the bar I will go talk to her, then you are set. Last thing remember looks only get you the interview your game is what is going to close the deal.

Lucky
12-15-2005, 10:26 AM
you said what i couldn't. Way to cut to the root of the problem. Now all we have to do is solve it.

Fresno Smooth
12-15-2005, 12:19 PM
lose the moustach and goat and grow your hair a bit
i dont knwo how you dress from the picture but there is osme stuff on the main page about fashion
Sunny D has some good points
style worked on one step at a time so you should just work on opening people all day one day
it will help emensly
if you want to take that one step further place yourself in a settin that is customer service oriented
p/t job at grocery store workin the till oh man lots of people there
its convientent cause its the holidays
go wrapp presents int he mall
you will conquer your fear there for sure
cheers
-Fresno Smooth

Ender
12-15-2005, 12:23 PM
also you can use the nlp technique of re-framing how you view interactions with women. instead of viewing it as an opportunity for her to shoot you down, what if, you look at it as an opportunity for her to show you how cool of a girl she is. think about it.

Fresno Smooth
12-15-2005, 12:27 PM
i love that such a good frame of mind to have
and if she shoots you down then how cool is she?

obie
12-15-2005, 12:47 PM
Dude, are you cool?
If you say "yes" then make a little box around that in your mind. You're cool for whatever reason you find yourself to be cool and chicks have NOTHING to do with whether you are a cool guy or not. YOU determine that you are cool, not chicks. You go out and talk to 20 HBs and get shot down 20 times? So what, you're still cool.
Now, the solution to your approach anxiety is two-fold. First, get two or three canned openers and negs ready. Part of anxiety is "I don't know what to say." DONE. Now you know what to say.
Another part is instinctual. First, follow the three second rule, and DO NOT do any pre-work like EC or anything. Don't even look at the girls as you approach. If you look at them, your anxiety will likely swell making it impossible for you to approach. When you see cute girl that you want to talk to, walk up to her and run your canned routine. Try to make it seem to her like you materialized from nowhere. Between the moment that you decide you want to talk to her and the moment you are delivering the first line of your opener, try to keep your mind blank.
SEE HB---> decide to talk to her--->find yourself magically in set.
That's the ideal.

porky
12-15-2005, 12:53 PM
hey obie...read that...thx m8:)

smooth
12-16-2005, 08:30 AM
thanks for the tips guys, one thing that still is beyond me is ive worked sales jobs, and customer service style jobs(gas station, grocery store), i can also walk up to random people on the street and strike up a conversation, but when i get to a bar it all disappears.... no clue

TrueStory
12-16-2005, 08:47 AM
Hey smooth, ....don't stress too much on appearance. Once you start your game you will match your looks to your style. You probably would be pretty cool looking dude with long hair? i dont know. Probably should talk to a girl friend or a gay friend...
go to http://www.bristol|||||||||/ start reading.
also, http://www.fastseduction.com should give you good idea. AND of course classic writtings on this forum. You'll make it. guys are talking a lot of sense on this forum. Be open minded...it's probably the best forum i've ever joined in my life...honestly

................
.... I know my appearance needs changing but i dont know what to change about myself, most women give me the you look fine approach, but somehow i can sense that their thinking something else. im posting a link to my picture so that i can get some feedback on what to change....
http://www.dateomaha.com/index.php?page=gallery&id=745

smooth
12-16-2005, 08:51 AM
thanks for the words true story, ill look over those sites when i get a chance to ive seen alot of people leed fastseduction so im gonna spend some time lookin through it as it seems to be the most popular link

Lothario
12-16-2005, 10:25 PM
thanks for the tips guys, one thing that still is beyond me is ive worked sales jobs, and customer service style jobs(gas station, grocery store), i can also walk up to random people on the street and strike up a conversation, but when i get to a bar it all disappears.... no clue
Start gaming girls where you're comfortable first. Take them to places where you're not comfortable and just show them a good time without having to approach other girls there. Once you're comfortable with that, bring girls there and use them as social proof while you approach new girls you meet there.
You'll be widening your comfort zone AND working on your game all at the same time.
As for your picture, lose the goatie or trim it really short and shape it, cleancut the mustache or lose that also, trim the eyebrows, trim the sides of your hair, leave the front down, brush the top up a little, put a little gel to keep it in place and to look a little shiny.
Update us on this thread with a picture of your new look and how you dress.
Then you might almost pass for a Josh Hartnett stunt double.
A little more muscle would also help.
~DeVill

waxlrose
12-17-2005, 01:46 AM
Here's what you should do-Steal Chris Cornell's current look, chicks love him. You got similar facial hair so you would just have to shape it like his. Don't look so innocent when facing down an HB, she is the deer in the headlights, not you. In fact, don't even look at her, approach indirect through the UG friend. See yourself make the approach in your mind and imagine them accepting you. Scientifically it has been proven that if you think someone will like you beforehand, then they will.