PDA

View Full Version : another newbie's field report



jigsawpuzzle
07-31-2012, 08:37 PM
From the Night of July 21st 2012:

Well tonight started high and ended low. I walked into a my local bar (in a very positive state I might add) and noticed a three set and used the shady friend opener. It was a little rough because they found it a little confusing, but they still found it interesting. Unfortunately after I was finished I couldn't keep them engaged and they went on to talk to each other and didn't know how to keep things going.

I went over to a two set and used the love vs. in love opener. It went pretty well, but after the opener there were three seconds of awkward silence. I saw a ring on her thumb and began to transition into the ring routine, but I was interrupted when a guy with a handle bar moustache merged with the set. Made a few friendly jokes about his facial with him, but when I turned to one of the women she was playing with her smart phone (biggest cock block ever.) I had pretty much lost control of the conversation.

I left for another bar, but parking was impossible and made my state get fucked up. I drove around for another place and suddenly felt an approach anxiety take control of me. I went into the bathroom to collect myself, then mustered the balls to approach a two set...which became a mixed set as I approached...which had a rough looking biker guy in it...which scared me out of the venue and back to my house.

So that was my night...shoot the feedback fellas

Maverick76
08-02-2012, 05:08 AM
First, congrats for getting out there.
Seriously, take the time to feel some pride and some sense of acheivement. You're writing a field report of a time you went out and actively tried to attract a girl. That's a hell of a thing, and something to be proud of.

'shady friend' opener - Been a while since I went through all the standard openers, what's that one?

Try to add a bit of sponteneity to the openers too. The problem with these canned ones is that once the can runs empty, you're left scrambling for a transition... if you're working a more fluid, spontaneous opener, the transition flows better (i find). A lot of people warn you against situational openers, but i prefer them by a long shot. It's more natural, it's obviously unscripted, and it flows with the context/setting you're in. It also means that a little later into the conversation, you can move onto more canned topics - to keep it alive.

So make 1 out of every 3 openers something based on teh situation you're in. And get used to flowing with it
"so, while i have your attention... " and move onto something canned if you want... but the intro is already made. Also, it means if someone else enters the fray, you can revert back to that original situational opener and get their views/thoughts/opinions.. this helps counter block any cockblocks
"ok, i'm going to ask him/her... i've already asked these guys (people in the set already) but what do you tihnk about X'

that way, the new addition feels like they've missed out and that you're already a part of a conversation with the table. you still run the table and the conversation and the newcomer feels the need to play catch up to your frame.

Same can be done with canned openers,...

Good work taking 5mins to refocus... and good work for carrying on.

Rough looking guys usually arent, but if they're ever in a set, make sure you pay them attention so they dont feel like you're poaching/disrespecting. Honestly, making friends with the scary looking guys pays off bigtime :)