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View Full Version : Jumped the Gun, maybe



sleep023
07-28-2012, 05:34 PM
First off, greetings! I have been visiting this site quite some time now and my registration was bound to happen. Its been a huge help to me just reading but I really have to get some input on this particular situation. Im not stressing too bad over it but I am very interested to hear someone else's take, if not just for future learning experiences.

Ill try to make a long story short. My friend and I take a bus into a show on thursday and I see a HB giving me eye contact so I end up making sure I sit next to her. My friend and I are talking to her and without much convincing she decides shell go to the show with us. It seemed like an open competition, she initially was giving me the eye, but on the way to the show she gave us equal attention.

Eventually we are at the show and she makes a clear IOI and I move on it and we start making out and do so for the rest of the night and we remain close and touchy feely. Whenever I got close she always reciprocated quite warmly and it was obvious we both enjoyed each other's company. She was pretty frisky and If given the right circumstances we might have been able to freak it, but there really was no appropriate place (in the city.)

I didn't speak to her friday and texted her today (saturday late afternoon.) She lives in the city but I do not, were about an hour apart. The way things were going the other night I really wanted to keep momentum, and I am going to be at a party close to the city tonight so I decided to be bold.

First I just texted about how she was, made a funny comment and she sent me a few texts back in response to my one. Her replies were casual but cute with smilies and all that type of shit. An hour later I sent her a text and told her that I was going to be close to the city and that If I get out of the party on time I would give her a call.

I've gotten no response back to that and my immediate thought is that I've only met her two nights ago and Im already trying to follow up. However, our hooking up was pretty fiery and I wanted to keep momentum, especially since she's an hour away and might not be able to see each other too often. She seems pretty spontaneous (hanging out with strangers and shit) but I don't want to jump the gun and Im afraid I might have done that.

I haven't sent her a text back and was thinking that either tomorrow or a couple days I might text her that I didn't get out of the party til late but we can set something up in the next couple of weeks.

Id be grateful to get your guys thoughts and feedback, on if I was wrong and if so how should I handle it. Im usually good about giving space but like I said, I didn't want to lose that momentum. I appreciate the responses and hopefully I look forward to offering my own incite on these forums in the future.

HugeGrant
07-29-2012, 02:20 AM
I've gotten no response back to that and my immediate thought is that I've only met her two nights ago and Im already trying to follow up. However, our hooking up was pretty fiery and I wanted to keep momentum, especially since she's an hour away and might not be able to see each other too often. She seems pretty spontaneous (hanging out with strangers and shit) but I don't want to jump the gun and Im afraid I might have done that.

A better way would be to text or call her right after the first night you met.
If she texted you back but didn't answer for a date it's usually because there was no comfort and you probably were just a guy she made out with that night....
She did answer initially so all is not lost. Try to keep it casual. Text her again in a few days but without proposing a date just for some banter. If that goes well you can try for a date, preferably by calling her.

sleep023
07-29-2012, 06:45 AM
A better way would be to text or call her right after the first night you met.
If she texted you back but didn't answer for a date it's usually because there was no comfort and you probably were just a guy she made out with that night....
She did answer initially so all is not lost. Try to keep it casual. Text her again in a few days but without proposing a date just for some banter. If that goes well you can try for a date, preferably by calling her.

Interesting, I always thought you should give space the day after meeting. But it seems I jumped the gun on making this thread, she texted me a few hours later and said she was interested in hanging out with smilie faces and all that shit, but I was already a few drinks deep at another party. Ill text her back today to see when she's around to hang out. I didn't do the best job of describing that night because there was a lot of comfort actually, strangely a lot for just meeting that day, and her initial texts were pretty warm. It is still interesting to get peoples takes on it though. I guess the moral is be patient. I like what you said in the last few sentences and that is exactly what I would have done had she not gotten back to me. I will do something similar anyway, seeing when she is available and then calling her in a couple days to actually set it up. Thanks!

Love Monkey
07-29-2012, 08:06 AM
Good job of continuing on even though she did not respond at first. I usually keep the drinking to a minimum so that I can bounce somewhere else quickly, but really it's posts like these that just reinforce the idea of doing what you want and not worrying about the girl.

sleep023
07-30-2012, 12:25 AM
Good job of continuing on even though she did not respond at first. I usually keep the drinking to a minimum so that I can bounce somewhere else quickly, but really it's posts like these that just reinforce the idea of doing what you want and not worrying about the girl.

Yea, there was a lot going on at this party anyway. I ended up hitting something else (real casual) at the party that I actually kind of regret, but I have a history of getting enamored with certain girls, and the way we got along (girl from the show) I could have easily got too invested so I put on tunnel vision and decided even though she texted me back, I would focus on this one party.

Im tired of casual encounters though and this one on saturday especially makes me want to find something more steady, even if its not necessarily a LTR. Im hoping that this girl ends up being someone I can find even a little stability with, but I've made enough mistakes in my past to know not to get invested. One of the reasons I love this board so much is because the main message most of the experienced guys have (I am not one of them, I have much to learn, but Im always striving for a state of zen) is that you have to be happy on your own without women in order to get women. That is my mantra everyday, "be happy and let good things come to you." I was happy to realize that this is actually what these boards are about, NOT how can you fool women into being attracted to you, although that occasionally does work, you'd be missing the big picture.

Wow, turned into a rant, I didn't mean to get on a soapbox, but I had to share my appreciation for some of this wisdom that comes with good practice and LOTS of patience.

sleep023
08-01-2012, 04:54 PM
Well I already made this thread, so I might as well keep on learning. Im always keen to learn from my own mistakes but learning from others advice is also invaluable. Basically I got her text that she would be interested in hanging out, but it was late on saturday as I mentioned above, and I thought I should just focus on the party and catching up with some friends and give her space. I texted her back on monday asking how her day was and she replied pretty emphatically saying she was thinking of me, etc. I told her I ended up catching up with friends on saturday but I would still like to hang out with her sometime soon. Her response was along the lines of "we definitely have to", she was very emphatic. We set it up for tomorrow (and this was yesterday, tuesday night), so the last text was me saying "Cool, Ill call you tomorrow."

My first question is would telling her Im going to call her be a mistake? I just wanted her to know that Id call and we could discuss the details of when and where to meet up, etc. so the plans would be less tentative. (she has to travel an hour)

Her last text to me was after I proposed thursday to hang out, she said "Thursday is actually awesome, as long as your free." As mentioned, I said yes and told her I'd call today. So I called this aternoon around 1pm, got no answer and still havent about 8 hours later. My other question aside from whether I shouldve told her I was calling is should I text her in a little bit, to see whats up, or do I just let it go assuming that she didn't call me back its not worth it. I feel like I should text to follow up, but I just want second thoughts on this.

I don't mean to ask for advice for every little incident, but I figure Ive already made a subject of it and Im curious to get some thoughts. Thanks