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View Full Version : Is it ever acceptable to show anger towards a repeat flaker!?



godfather545
07-2012-13, 01:31 PM
This girl is driving me round the bend. She is a very interested hb9 but she constantly flakes. most of the time it seems pretty legit but tonight she has flaked on a dinner date without even a text, and has ignored my calls. She is always the one who instigates the meet up. We met in a club a few times, no f close just k close. ive been on a date with her with plenty of kino and k-close.

So she is flaking without even a text, surely this is the exception to 'acting nonchalant about flaking' which is what i normally do. normally i say i have somthing else to do and tease, but i feel today crossed the line. i want to send

'if you didnt fancy dinner why didnt you just tell me rather than wasting my time?!'

Who agrees i should send that? help asap please :)

pcl81
07-2012-13, 01:42 PM
No it is not. She either won't respond or will say something that will piss you off even more.

Just ignore her and don't text her anymore. Move on to the next girl.

godfather545
07-2012-13, 01:44 PM
Thanks for the quick reply dude. the thing is she is massively keen and only last week she was calling me her future boyfriend, the date was perfect and she is always the one pushing for meet up. Shes cool apart from the flaking so is it worth throwing this away now? I feel like i have to show some authority now though because only a door mat would accept a flake without even a text and ignoring the phone

Stallion
07-2012-13, 01:45 PM
No, never show anger, never punish.
In doing so it not only makes you out to be a little crazy but also it shows you have no women in your life if you get upset if one flakes.

In PU expect flakes and learn from each one as there is always plenty you can do to so she won't flake in the first place.

godfather545
07-2012-13, 01:51 PM
Wow i was ready to send that, but already 2 people have said dont...... im gonna listen i think. Its so weird though, i thought this was so certain it was unbelievable. the date went perfect, she is ridiculously attraced. hell she was the one who picked me up. she fancys me, finds me attractive to the point where she will just text 'beautiful' randomly she knows i have a good career good social life. her only fear is that i will be a player, i have had to constantly reasssure her.

On my facebook a few girls from work have posted some stuff recently, they give me nicknames. my confused mind is wondering if she thinks these are other girls im am playing her against rather than workmates....

anyway so i should just not send any more texts? its so against what i think!

pcl81
07-2012-13, 01:52 PM
Thanks for the quick reply dude. the thing is she is massively keen and only last week she was calling me her future boyfriend, the date was perfect and she is always the one pushing for meet up. Shes cool apart from the flaking so is it worth throwing this away now? I feel like i have to show some authority now though because only a door mat would accept a flake without even a text and ignoring the phone

NEVER EVER DO THAT!!!

This is the thing a girl can say a bunch of shit to you that she doesn't mean when she is in the right emotional state. It is the equivalent of guys saying anything and everything when they are getting sex.

Honestly your best bet right now is to go out with your friends and meet other girls. Wait for her to initiate contact. When she says lets meet up wednesday say sorry I can't what about thursday. Start making her have to conform to your schedule.

This will be harder said that done because I can tell your oneitis is strong with her.

pcl81
07-2012-13, 01:56 PM
Wow i was ready to send that, but already 2 people have said dont...... im gonna listen i think. Its so weird though, i thought this was so certain it was unbelievable. the date went perfect, she is ridiculously attraced. hell she was the one who picked me up. she fancys me, finds me attractive to the point where she will just text 'beautiful' randomly she knows i have a good career good social life. her only fear is that i will be a player, i have had to constantly reasssure her.

On my facebook a few girls from work have posted some stuff recently, they give me nicknames. my confused mind is wondering if she thinks these are other girls im am playing her against rather than workmates....

anyway so i should just not send any more texts? its so against what i think!

Holy shit dude. You fucked up royally already. When she says oh you are probably just a player, you say "well I only have 3 wives and 10 gfs but I am always looking for number 11, I like odd numbers, you interested?". Obviously said tongue and cheek.

What you probably did was "oh no baby, I am not like that. I am loyal and would never cheat on a girl". Girls are fucking retards and even though logically it makes sense to say this, they want to hear the first line I gave you. You are more of a challenge that way. The way you went about it was the equivalent of saying "you got me I am yours. I am going to follow you like a puppy dog from now on." Which is why she is flaking. She knows she has you.

Step back a little.

godfather545
07-2012-13, 01:58 PM
NEVER EVER DO THAT!!!

This is the thing a girl can say a bunch of shit to you that she doesn't mean when she is in the right emotional state. It is the equivalent of guys saying anything and everything when they are getting sex.

Honestly your best bet right now is to go out with your friends and meet other girls. Wait for her to initiate contact. When she says lets meet up wednesday say sorry I can't what about thursday. Start making her have to conform to your schedule.

This will be harder said that done because I can tell your oneitis is strong with her.

thanks dude. No trust me i wouldnt call it oneitis. i have many girls on the go at the moment. actually this evening im text gaming a hb8.5 who wanted to meet tonight but i blew out for this flakey hb9. its just hb9 is my favourite in terms of personality looks career drive etc. but im not afraid to next her. i just dont want any regrets. I want to use the method which gives the best chance to not completly cut ties with hb9. my only fear with ignoring is that she will think im a doormat by not confronting the rudest flake ive ever experienced

godfather545
07-2012-13, 02:01 PM
Holy shit dude. You fucked up royally already. When she says oh you are probably just a player, you say "well I only have 3 wives and 10 gfs but I am always looking for number 11, I like odd numbers, you interested?". Obviously said tongue and cheek.

What you probably did was "oh no baby, I am not like that. I am loyal and would never cheat on a girl". Girls are fucking retards and even though logically it makes sense to say this, they want to hear the first line I gave you. You are more of a challenge that way. The way you went about it was the equivalent of saying "you got me I am yours. I am going to follow you like a puppy dog from now on." Which is why she is flaking. She knows she has you.

Step back a little.

Nah trust me dude she still thinks im a player. one of the last texts she sent was "try not to replace me anytime soon :p" because she knew i wouldnt see her for a few days. this flake has somewhat out of the blue

pcl81
07-2012-13, 02:03 PM
Nah trust me dude she still thinks im a player. one of the last texts she sent was "try not to replace me anytime soon :p" because she knew i wouldnt see her for a few days. this flake has somewhat out of the blue
Can you give more specifics about your situation because like your details are contradicting. Or I am simply just not getting it.

Regardless the main point is do not ever do anything in anger to flakes or be passive aggressive. I have done the research and it never ends up well :P

godfather545
07-2012-13, 02:17 PM
Sorry mate, was a bit brief because i wanted to send a text quickly but will now take ur advice and not text. Here goes

So i met this hb9 in a club as it was closing she approached me and said " you are the hottest guy ive seen for a long time but you are blatantly a player, blah blah blah" i bantered a bit got k-close and number
- We were going to meet up but she flaked and then didnt respond to my text so i forgot her. i randomly bumped into her in the same club and she said she ignored me because she needs someone to worship her and i took 5 hours to respond to a text. i bantered again passed through that barrier, built some good comfort and kiss closed again.
quite a bit of text game followed and i got her back onside. she kept pushing for meet up but then flaking because she was just finishing her masters. she flaked about 3 times and so i completly froze her out, didnt respond to her text.
- she re-engaged about 3 weeks later and i slowly gave more attention. she pushed for another meet up, she flaked on that meet up twice.
-bumped into her in club for the 3rd time. more k-closing and made me promise we would go out the following monday. that night she was going up to my mates saying this is my future boyfreind. introducing me to her mates. her mates would say im beautiful, all she ever talks about is be blah blah blah....... we went out on that date and it went really well. that was last week monday.
-we arranged to meet last friday. she had a uni reunion thing during the day. i told her to meet me on sunday instead because i didnt want to cut her thing short."in truth she would have only been able to come round for 2 hours and that was not enough time for f-close"
-sunday came and she was ill and had to go back to her parents... aparently. this is when she said "dont replace me".
-monday. she is back in town and pushing for a meet up. i say friday round mine. she says shes working late and will only get round at half 10. i say thats fine i will cook some dinner and she is welcome to stay round if thats easier. she says yeah it will be easier to stay round. but she has to leave work early sat morning.
thursday i ping her about how her week has gone.... no response
friday (today) i send " what time are you coming round"... no response. i ring no answer. i text "what are you doing" .... no response....

and this is where i find myself now. i was about to send the "wasting my time text" but i refrained after hearing you guys advice

pcl81
07-2012-13, 02:33 PM
DAMN IT. I typed up a bunch of stuff and now its gone. FU quick reply.

I guess the two main points were
1. FU for being hot and getting girls to approach you. ;)
2. Knowing the whole story changes things a bit.

I think what you need to realize now is that you see her as a priority where she sees you as an option. She has you wrapped around her little finger and this is why. Everytime she flakes, which by my count is about 6 times now even though she initiates the dates, you bump into her again and make out with her and all is well. Her makeout with you is all she needs for you forgive the flaking.

Next time be friendly but that is it, no makeouts and if she sees you with another friend that happens to be a girl all the better. Freeze her out again.

But even at this junction don't ever get mad of the flake. Be mad at yourself for making her a priority when you should have seen the signs you were not her priority.

Eventually you can invite her to something you are already doing. Then isolate her, take her home and dispose of her for being a flaky bi.atch. :)

Birthday
07-2012-13, 02:35 PM
You don't want her to resent you but then you don't want her to walk all over you either. You can compromise yourself a little, but to blissfully ignore flakes is only leading to repeat behaviour. You feel pissed off not out of neediness, not out of loneliness, not because of missing her etc, but out of making special arrangements and missing out on some other activity in your busy life. Your precious time was wasted. This isn't a low value behaviour. I imagine Tom Cruise wouldn't wait long for an interviewer to arrive... I imagine he'd have something to say if the guy walked in late.

Key here is the REASON you are pissed off. You are not pissed off that she didn't come, you are pissed off at the fact you wasted your time, and money. But first you need to give her the benefit of the doubt or she will be pissed off at you simply because she COULD have had a good reason, but you didn't even ask.

You can't really ignore this and continue like it didn't happen. There may be a long term "Well, when I have her I'll tighten up and she won't flake anymore" goal, but life is too short and first impressions too important. In general boundaries only slip, they don't tighten. Kids in a classroom are at their best on the first day, not the last day.

Start as you wish to proceed. If she can't handle it, she isn't a girl you want to get involved with as she is self centred and doesn't respect you.

Some behaviour you can ignore, some you have to address. This is time to address.

However I don't agree with your text. She can rationalise it in her head by thinking "Hey, I could have been in a car crash or something and he didn't even ask", EVEN IF SHE WASN'T.

The best thing to do is, as soon as you know she has flaked, so say she is 20 minutes late text or call: "We said x o'clock right? are you stuck in traffic or something?"

That gives the impression you are just concerned and you haven't judged. You haven't assumed anything, you are just information gathering. If there is no response to it within 10 minutes, leave and go home or go sarging. She could arrive more than a half hour late, but for her to find you there all pissed off isn't going to be good. She'd also no doubt text to find out what happened to you upon seeing your text.

Now it is too late for that you have a few options.

I'd behave in a way I'd hope she would had the situation been reversed. I'd stay neutral in case something really bad happened.

"Hey, you missed our meal last night, are you ok?"

a) say she knows you had plans and didn't forget, your text doesn't matter.

b) say she actually forgot about your plans, she will, if she is interested, text and beg for forgiveness. It is then your job to make it sufficiently difficult, in a calm and assertive way, for her to see you again. The Ross J approach is to ask her to make it up to you by doing something, for example cooking for the pair of you at her place.

Recently I texted a girl 10 minutes before I was setting off since our plans were made a week ago, I said: "Hey, just about to set off, I'm running a little late". She texted back "OMg I completely forgot, I'm in blah blah blah. I need to make this up to you blah blah. I'll buy you chocolate and blah blah". I then just ignored all that and texted back "I'm lucky I was running late!", ignoring all the other stuff. She then texted to arrange another meeting, to which I agreed since I had enough trust. If I hadn't had the trust, I'd have made her work harder of asked her to join me in something I was doing anyway, so I wouldn't have my time wasted if she was going to flake again.

There is also the remote possibility that she has a really good excuse, a car crash or family emergency etc, where she was too preoccupied to call or text. Then obviously you have dealt with it well by not assuming she is a flake and doesn't have a good excuse.

Birthday
07-2012-13, 02:39 PM
You fucker :P, I just typed all that shit out and you change your story and make it almost completely invalid.

Don't text me, delete my number. I don't exist to you any more ;)

godfather545
07-2012-13, 02:39 PM
DAMN IT. I typed up a bunch of stuff and now its gone. FU quick reply.

I guess the two main points were
1. FU for being hot and getting girls to approach you. ;)
2. Knowing the whole story changes things a bit.

I think what you need to realize now is that you see her as a priority where she sees you as an option. She has you wrapped around her little finger and this is why. Everytime she flakes, which by my count is about 6 times now even though she initiates the dates, you bump into her again and make out with her and all is well. Her makeout with you is all she needs for you forgive the flaking.

Next time be friendly but that is it, no makeouts and if she sees you with another friend that happens to be a girl all the better. Freeze her out again.

But even at this junction don't ever get mad of the flake. Be mad at yourself for making her a priority when you should have seen the signs you were not her priority.

Eventually you can invite her to something you are already doing. Then isolate her, take her home and dispose of her for being a flaky bi.atch. :)

Damn that quick reply lol, i would have loved to see your full post, haha. I appreciate you giving advice though dude, im taking it on board and not texting. I was itching to just text and say she was disrespectful but now ive calmed down a bit and seen other peoples perspective i think it would have done me no good. the thing is she has always not minded flaking on me but she would always send a text saying she couldnt make it. this was the first time she has just blanked me completly. in my experience this means two things. either another dude or she is angry at me aka other girls calling me affectionate nicknames on my wall and me saying things back to them like "i need a sauna, steam room and massage" so confused!! damn these women

godfather545
07-2012-13, 02:43 PM
You fucker :P, I just typed all that shit out and you change your story and make it almost completely invalid.

Don't text me, delete my number. I don't exist to you any more ;)

lmao, nah ur original advice is still good. i will confront the flake if she re-engages but i think the key is not to show heat of the moment anger, which is what i was about to do tonight.

What you said is true though. in the past i was gaming a girl and i would ignore flakes and ignored texts etc. she just got worse till the point where she lost all respect for me because i allowed her to get away with outrageously rude behaviour. i think there is a fine line between cool nonchalance and door mat!

GGmesh
07-2012-13, 02:52 PM
When someone flakes and doesn't respond to my call or text (I only do one of each), I'll send one more text "Are you dead? :p" and just leave it at that. She'll usually respond to that one with a good excuse and apology as well as plans to meet up later.

And also great post Birthday, I'll remember that advice for the next time something like that happens to me haha

pcl81
07-2012-13, 03:15 PM
Damn that quick reply lol, i would have loved to see your full post, haha. I appreciate you giving advice though dude, im taking it on board and not texting. I was itching to just text and say she was disrespectful but now ive calmed down a bit and seen other peoples perspective i think it would have done me no good. the thing is she has always not minded flaking on me but she would always send a text saying she couldnt make it. this was the first time she has just blanked me completly. in my experience this means two things. either another dude or she is angry at me aka other girls calling me affectionate nicknames on my wall and me saying things back to them like "i need a sauna, steam room and massage" so confused!! damn these women

Here is a little something I learned which get me through these tough times. The moral of the story as always: Girls are the worst. They are the absolute worst. :)

godfather545
07-2012-13, 04:19 PM
LOL. She has just been tagged on facebook as being at her local night club. time to next this bitch, but i need a powerful text to draw the line. HELP?? lol

pcl81
07-2012-13, 04:25 PM
LOL. She has just been tagged on facebook as being at her local night club. time to next this bitch, but i need a powerful text to draw the line. HELP?? lol

No, no texts. Let it be. She is fuck material not relationship material. Next time you bump into her try to bring her home if she is on you again.

If not oh well. Your whole emo with her now should be how can I fuck her. Even if its a club pull in the bathroom. Forget dinners, etc. How can I fuck her. That is it.

godfather545
07-2012-13, 04:46 PM
Every bone in my body wants to call hEr out as its obvious her friend tagged her and when she sees she will deletE the tag. But I will refrain and go to bed. I will update u tomoro check this post tomoro if u are interested. Goodnight and thanks for ur helP, this forum is a lifesaver

pcl81
07-2012-13, 04:51 PM
Every bone in my body wants to call hEr out as its obvious her friend tagged her and when she sees she will deletE the tag. But I will refrain and go to bed. I will update u tomoro check this post tomoro if u are interested. Goodnight and thanks for ur helP, this forum is a lifesaver

It sucks dude and I know you want to be like "bitch don't you ever disrespect me like that again". But what do you gain from that? Nothing.

If you play it cool. You can possibly still fuck her and then when she wants more you can give her a big FU with two middle fingers waving. Now which one sounds more appealing? I would personally go for the latter.

GL keep us updated.

d_downs
07-2012-14, 12:27 AM
Wow! Super shitty.

Don't send a text. It'll scream "I'M BURT HURT AND REALLY ANAL ABOUT THIS!". Let it go. You may still be able to fuck her but after someone disrespects you, there really isn't any reason for you to want to touch them.

godfather545
07-2012-15, 07:13 AM
So i couldnt resist my urges in the end and sent a text. But rather than the weak emotional text i was going to send i just simply sent

"hey, are u ok?"

the following exhange occured

me: hey are you ok?
hb9: nooo
me: whats wrong?

no response

the next day i completly have forgotern and put to one side fridays flake

me: Pepperoni or Chicken Pizza?
hb9: i hope you went for chicken.
me: i ended up cooking salad cream pasta and fish bake for breakfast. the security guard wont stop talking about you btw. (on our date i took her up to my office to get my gym bag (dhv) the security guard kept saying she was hot etc)
hb9: that sounds vile, lol. ha what did he say?.x
me:hey! i was so nice it made my toes curl. you already have enough self assurance to fill the nile, if i tell you you will be insufferable :p what are you up to, at the festival (local festival on today)
hb:9 lol maybe the self assurance is all a front?! no im at work.x

wondering where to go from here. ive already kinda decided to just completly pretend friday didnt happen and im not going for a meetup for a long time, but i think i will build some more comfort. its clear this chick has some non straightforward issues, so i think i need to handle with care.

now i realise a few things. i have come accross a bit afc. but i think this is because perhaps i needed to soften a bit, seeing as she thinks im a player whos gonna cheat etc. it turns out she tagged herself at the nightclub and she never does this so its clear for whatever reason ( lack of texting, other girls writing on my wall etc) she is trying to put a message out which i am not reacting to at all. her status yesterday was some random one about how a guy from a movie was so hot, it was so emotionallly overeaching it had to be directed at me. again she never does that type of status.

pcl81
07-2012-15, 07:39 AM
So i couldnt resist my urges in the end and sent a text. But rather than the weak emotional text i was going to send i just simply sent

"hey, are u ok?"

the following exhange occured

me: hey are you ok?
hb9: nooo
me: whats wrong?

no response

the next day i completly have forgotern and put to one side fridays flake

me: Pepperoni or Chicken Pizza?
hb9: i hope you went for chicken.
me: i ended up cooking salad cream pasta and fish bake for breakfast. the security guard wont stop talking about you btw. (on our date i took her up to my office to get my gym bag (dhv) the security guard kept saying she was hot etc)
hb9: that sounds vile, lol. ha what did he say?.x
me:hey! i was so nice it made my toes curl. you already have enough self assurance to fill the nile, if i tell you you will be insufferable :p what are you up to, at the festival (local festival on today)
hb:9 lol maybe the self assurance is all a front?! no im at work.x

wondering where to go from here. ive already kinda decided to just completly pretend friday didnt happen and im not going for a meetup for a long time, but i think i will build some more comfort. its clear this chick has some non straightforward issues, so i think i need to handle with care.

now i realise a few things. i have come accross a bit afc. but i think this is because perhaps i needed to soften a bit, seeing as she thinks im a player whos gonna cheat etc. it turns out she tagged herself at the nightclub and she never does this so its clear for whatever reason ( lack of texting, other girls writing on my wall etc) she is trying to put a message out which i am not reacting to at all. her status yesterday was some random one about how a guy from a movie was so hot, it was so emotionallly overeaching it had to be directed at me. again she never does that type of status.

I was wondering what happened to you. Man I don't know. If I were you I would go on radio silence now that you got her talking to you again. And if she asks you about it you were just busy.

But seriously though you need to figure out what you want with this chick and proceed accordingly. In my honest opinion, you got hardcores oneitis with a flaky party girl you are hoping will come around to change so she can be your girl. GL though love seeing the updates.

Love Monkey
07-2012-15, 08:06 AM
Dude, way too self absorbed. She is playing you! She is using the player lines and all that to play YOU!

Don't think about her. If she comes to you good, if not then you should be out with friends or cleaning your apt, or something engrossing. Quite frankly this girl is not worth any more brain power.

Prodigy451
07-2012-15, 03:52 PM
Real talk bro you are getting played straight up. She is the one GAMING YOU!!. Shes the one playing cat string theory on YOU!!

Shes tangling the string in front of you making you want more and then when you think you have it she pulls the string away from you. Stop talking to this girl shes no longer worth your time.

Real men don't have time to play games they move on and have better things to do.

If she comes back around you need to switch the frame up and take the power away from her but for now DO NOT worry about this girl anymore shes taking up too much of your mental time and you're investing too much into her while shes doing no investing herself.

godfather545
07-2012-16, 02:38 PM
You guys are all correct, I am getting gamed the hell out of. this is why I see this as a challenge. She is a super hot hb9 who has guys all over her constantly fawning, I am trying to defeat her with game. granted i havent done that great so far but im determined for this to end as a f-close, like pcl81 said i should be trying to do. Believe me guys, i dont really see this as relationship material, i mainly just want to f-close. i know once this happens the power will swing massively in my favour. i want no more than a f-buddy. i have many other prospective girls who are more suitable for relationship, im am going out with one this friday.

anyway here is the latest exchanges for any interested peeps. slightly moved to my favour again imo

me: lol maybe a bit but i can def sense some mad self belief in there, remember ur speaking to the master. thinking of renting my flat want it for 5 k a week?
hb9: LOL ur a funny guy
me: you mustt think that.. you used capitals. effectively you are shouting with laughter. fancy a chat

I then call goes voicemail then she calls back. we talk for a bit but i cant really hear her shes driving. she says she will call back but doesnst

me: is everything cool hb9? (afc i know)

no response

today:
me: I just saw a lobster walking down the corridor at work it reminded me of dinner with u ;-) hows ur day been ( we had lobster on first date. i work in an office)
hb9: why was it walking around your work??!! lol. its been good been working all day, just rushed home to get changed bout to start my other job then home to plan for tomorrows job
me: you should be done for racial-fishcrimination (im so funny) been busy too, fitted for suit, training intern/ teaching about birds and bees. wow you taking multi-tasking to a new level ------( where the dashes are i called her by her middle name which the injoke is i cant pronunce but i pronunce it correctly in the text)
hb9@ happy you can say my name right these days
me: still cant say only writing stage my swiss heritage wont permit it. you heard of frank ocean
hb: ybut only heard of. heard new album is good
me:great album, ill chuck you some tunes to listen to while u end ur marathon day planning. see im so generous. i should get a present in return
hb: lol what would you like as a present
me: surprise me, its more fun that way

Ill keep you guys posted. remember my only goal if f-close here! im doing things that arent strictly part of the game but i have a feeling they may work in this special instance

Birthday
07-2012-17, 03:39 AM
keep us updated

OldFart
07-2012-17, 11:22 AM
Notice the massive difference in what she TELLS you, and what she ACTUALLY DOES.

You say sheīs really into you - yet she doesnīt make you a priority when she has the chance.
She tells you that you are her future BF - yet flakes time after time.

Sheīs leading you on, and most likely a bigger player than you.

Iīd either totally leave her alone and next her - or come down on her hard, e.g. with the classic "Other than treating you nice I canīt find any legitimate reason for your behaviour. Youīre wasting my time, and thatīs a dealbreaker for me. Take care. Name".

Being cool about flaking is great - and sometimes I think thereīs a time and a place for reacting.


Thanks for the quick reply dude. the thing is she is massively keen and only last week she was calling me her future boyfriend, the date was perfect and she is always the one pushing for meet up. Shes cool apart from the flaking so is it worth throwing this away now? I feel like i have to show some authority now though because only a door mat would accept a flake without even a text and ignoring the phone

OldFart
07-2012-17, 11:28 AM
Godfather, you may think you are getting the upper hand in this game - but to me it sounds like you are investing a lot more in this than she is.
Your texts are always longer than hers, and you are the one who keeps the convo going.

Ive been in that situation countless times - and even tho I also only wanted to nail the HB, they can smell it from 100 miles away, that you want to get into their pants.
Seems like she is just getting entertained by you, but does nothing herself to entertain you or take initiatives.

I think you should go dark for a bit and focus on other women. There is a MUCH bigger risk of becoming too interested and available right now, than becoming too distant and mysterious. What would Sean Connery do?

Prodigy451
07-2012-17, 03:49 PM
Like you said Godfather she is presenting herself as a challenge which is making you want her more but you yourself should be the challenge making her want you more. In a sense you're putting her on a pedestal because shes an HB9 and a challenge to you.

Yes its true you would gain a lot of power if you f-closed her but so far your progress to f-closing her is going no where. You can tell who has the power when you read the texts you sent her. You're the one investing and sending longer texts to keep the conversation going while she basically responds in an unreactive manner as if she could give a f*** to what you're saying.

Also she is the one that is busy most of the time while it should be you that is busy most of the time. Shes has 2 jobs and is looking for another one if i'm correct?

Anyways the frame between you two is definately in her favor. The only way I see you realistically gaining the power again is if you freeze her out and she re-intiates contact with you which then you must reject her advances to meet up and be a bit more non-reactive to her. You're not going to gain the power by f-closing her now because she flakes on all of your meet ups.

Women especially HB9s need to feel a challenge in order to stay attracted to you

A wise man once told me people want what they can't have so take yourself away from her and make her want you. Play your cards right.

godfather545
07-2012-18, 02:21 PM
Heres the latest round of our texts. This was yesterday. She texted first and we never double text, so should be ok to follow even though the names are missing next to each text.

2012/07/17 18:25
Sorry fell asleep last night! Xx
2012/07/17 18:34
Still @ work, been a long day! How's ur day been?
2012/07/17 22:02
Its been good, long day at school and work, glad to be home, u home now? X
2012/07/17 22:05
Yeah just got back from football. Watchin Geordie shore, it's jokes
2012/07/17 22:07
Ha me too, charlotte and gary defo gonna fuck tonight
2012/07/17 22:07
I bet u a drink they dont. Gaz will pull a new bird
2012/07/17 22:07
We'll see ;)
2012/07/17 22:15
U been up to Newcastle for a night out? It's mental.
2012/07/17 22:15
Nah i heard its a good night though, need to try it. X
2012/07/17 22:24
It's quality, everyone is ridiculously friendly. The girls are the craziest. Gaz got mugged off, lol
2012/07/17 22:26
lol the andy bloke was quite hot though
2012/07/17 22:26
I think the exact definition is 'worldy'. Look at channel 4 now, lmao. That's my chick
2012/07/17 22:28
Nah can't be assed to switch who is it?
2012/07/17 22:27
74 stone babysitter
2012/07/17 22:28
More cushion for the pushing?
2012/07/17 22:31
That's the one. When are u gonna make urself available for a meet up then missy?
2012/07/17 22:32
Can we do it next week? Term ends at the end of this week :) definitely need to see u
2012/07/17 22:40
Yea yea cool, I'll let u what days I'm free.... I'm forgetting what u look like FRP?!
2012/07/17 22:41
Haha we both know thats not true
2012/07/17 22:45
Joel is a proper man slut, lol. His chat is poor tho, haha
2012/07/17 22:45
He's fucking douchebag. I mean i like to think i'm pretty relaxed as a girlfriend but Sophie is just a doormat
2012/07/17 22:49
Yea, he blatantly with her for the fame. Every bloke watchin knows what he's up to. He looks like a rentboy, haha
2012/07/17 22:49
Yup. Twat.
2012/07/17 23:06
Another classic episode. Chat to u soon. Make sure u make urself available soon or i may meet a 74stone woman of my dreams and move on!
2012/07/17 23:06
I will i promise. Night night xx
2012/07/17 23:08
Nite ---- :-) x

Its strange. I agree with all your posts saying that i should be the challenge, i should be being chased etc. but i was going through some old texts and i definetly was in that role. she would always initiate and i would barely respond and sometimes just not even bother to respond to texts. however this led to her previously stopping contact with me because she said i didnt make any effort texting and i didnt care about her. mostly because i was focused on another girl. it was only through luck that i bumped into her again and we re-initiated contact. things seem to have swung in the last week or so. i have a feeling that there may be a new player in the game hence why she has changed so extremely to the dominant one in our texting. im am trying to turn it around, it will be interesting to see if i suceed. I do think some girls need slight variations on the standard game we run though, ie being the challenge to this girl just made her bored

warrior504th
07-2012-18, 02:41 PM
Text game is rough. I find delay gaming is always shitty... I have had success only replying when she hits me up, with the exception of extending an invite to existing plans. Try that.

I'm starting to believe phone calls are way better. The convo flows and you can do demonstrations you just can't by text.

Itz Skip
07-2012-18, 02:44 PM
I'm going to jump in here, haven't read the full thread so If I've missed something my bad!

Take longer to reply to her txts, start breaking her down. I don't give a **** about geordie shore neither does she I wanna know what she's wearing time to start dropping sexual hints in. That seems to me like you've invested 4 hours odd of your time to talk about a boring subject.

mike1234
07-2012-18, 04:20 PM
Here's my take:

This HB9, if she approached you during closing time at the club, complimented you and you guys made out, she probably was looking for an SNL. Was she by herself that night? If so, chances are higher that she was looking for an SNL.

I'd suggest meet up with her at the same club sometime, isolate, k-close. Have logistics in order and bounce her to your place, go for full close. The more you are delaying this and getting into normal conversation, the more she's losing interest.

I've screwed up a couple of times with similar scenarios, so I have learned the hard way. Don't let this girl play you bro.
Some girls just text guys to kill time when they are bored, with the exception of when they'll text to set up a meet. don't be that guy who says "how high?" when she says "jump!".

time_for_adventure
07-2012-19, 01:43 AM
Flaking with no response? Did you go to the restaurant & just find that she wasn't there? If so, never speak to her again. Or did you have to text her to find out that she wasn't going to meet you? Almost just as bad. I think either way, this girl would probably never hear from me again. Don't get angry, just state what your rules are when it comes to this kind of flaky behavior. You could say - "You know, if I have to cancel on someone, I usually give them some notice, but that's just me - I'm a busy guy, my time is valuable. I therefore respect other people's time because of this. If we decide to meet in the future, don't do this again." - you're not getting angry, you're just telling her what kind of guy you are. If a girl gives me ample notice that she won't be able to make it for a date, I might say - "Alright, no problem, but that's strike 1. Three strikes & you're out. :)"
Again, if she didn't even let you know that she was flaking, don't even reengage her - it's over at that point. She showed you that she's a flake.

- M

godfather545
07-2012-19, 10:29 AM
Latest round of texts. She is in bold

2012/07/18 23:38
godfather i cant sleep! X
2012/07/18 23:42
Lol, why? u got urself all excited bout ur day tomoro?
2012/07/18 23:43
Is it sports day or somthing?
2012/07/18 23:43
No nothing good is happening tomorrow just can't sleep
2012/07/18 23:44
Ring if u want
2012/07/18 23:45
Have u got an iPhone?
2012/07/18 23:45
No Nothing like that , don't feel like talking as much as a phone call would require
2012/07/18 23:45
Yeah obvs or these wouldn't be imessages
2012/07/18 23:47
Oi watch ur cheeky self. I only learnt what an I message was a couple of months ago.
2012/07/18 23:47
Hold up I'll tell u an app I use which works a treat when I have big deadlines at work and my minds racing
2012/07/18 23:49
Lol
2012/07/18 23:48
U kids and ur technology. In my day we had text messages
2012/07/18 23:50
Type caffeinated and pick the 2nd one down [1 Attachment(s)]
2012/07/18 23:49
Very funny old man
2012/07/18 23:51
Ok
2012/07/18 23:51
Why would i want my brain energised!?
2012/07/18 23:52
When u install it, copy the exact same settings as I have in my picture. [1 Attachment(s)]
2012/07/18 23:53
Meh cant be bothered lol
2012/07/18 23:54
LMAO!
2012/07/18 23:55
So how u gonna spend tonight then stubborn girl?
2012/07/18 23:56
In bed trying to sleep loll
2012/07/18 23:58
I been bangin on about this app to my workmates who have same problem in the stressful job we do. They reaped the benefits, and slept like newborn babies. There r always rebels like u eh?
2012/07/18 23:59
Read a book, the more boring the better. U got any Katie price "books"?
2012/07/19 00:00
No I'm just not in a good mood and i only sleep easy when i'm happy
2012/07/19 00:02
Everyone around me is always happy, it's like my super power. I'm calling, if ur chat stinks that's ur problem.

I tried to call, she canceled it straight away

2012/07/19 00:03
Lol
2012/07/19 00:04
Lol i really don't feel like talking. Listen i'll leave u to ur night. Sweetdreams
2012/07/19 00:06
Lol once upon a time a hang up like that would result in the cold shoulder. There is something endearing about ur cockiness. I'm downloading music, won't be goin to bed till 12.30. What made u happy at school today?
2012/07/19 00:08
I don't like that u have this idea in your head that i am cocky and as you put it 'self-assured'. Im clearly giving u the wrong impression.
2012/07/19 00:12
Lol, I knew u were gonna come back at me with that. Cockiness was the wrong word, I suppose I'm kinda used to a certain way girls im texting or talking to will behave and instead of doing what they do, ur more like me when I text. Ur different to anyone I've texted
2012/07/19 00:13
I bet i'm not. Not really. I can be cocky or whatever sometimes but i can also be as shy or insecure as the next girl.
2012/07/19 00:16
The whole way u come across is, "here I am take it if u don't like it, then I don't care". This makes me think u have a lot of confidence, and is sexy as fuck. However the fact there is a shy girl underneath all that makes it better. My job is to get her out, I need to get to know u more face to face tho F----
2012/07/19 00:19
Mmm i want to do that too
2012/07/19 00:20
The more I get to meet u then the more I will "see the shy insecure real u"and I can stop just labelling u as the one aspect of ur personality that i see when ur in the club etc, u know what I mean? For example what do u think of me
2012/07/19 00:20
Like in terms of my personality and shit
2012/07/19 00:21
I bet u get some of it right but inevitably u will miss stuff out
2012/07/19 00:23
Mmm well I think we could be a good match :p seriously though i don't know u well enough to judge.
2012/07/19 00:27
The way we r now, like with all the flirty teasing etc, will reduce ( not disappear though! :p ) and u will notice a lot more of a deep connection and comfort over time. I'm looking forward to gettin to know u more ****, that's why I'm persisting with contacting u. We will make a good match and have some good times if all goes as well as it should. I'm good at reading this shit
2012/07/19 00:30
Ok well when can i see u then?
2012/07/19 00:31
I'm free tomoro but then not free till Sunday! It's my mates birthday on sat tho and we r starting in ****** and then goin ****** after. U can come.
2012/07/19 00:34
I have to work till half 9 tomorrow i'd come on saturday but what if my friends aren't out though? U don't want me tagging along right?
2012/07/19 00:38
Ha, ur alright. my mates who met u thought u were a quality girl. Keep asking about u.
2012/07/19 00:39
U were making em laugh, u have some banter don't u ****
2012/07/19 00:38
A little :p ok i'll see u saturday night
2012/07/19 00:44
Sounds good. Should be about 15-20 of us. some girlys too for u to talk to, when my sheer manliness and charisma gets a bit too much and u need a little break from it :-)
2012/07/19 00:42
Haha good!! xx
2012/07/19 07:13
What time did u get to sleep? x
2012/07/19 09:40
2am! So tiredddd :,( hows work? X
2012/07/19 12:36
Yeah I didn't sleep till bout that time, i feel fine tho. Proper busy again, can't wait for the weekend so I can chill!
2012/07/19 15:00
I bet! What were u doing till that time? I'm so tired i'm barely functioning leaving school in a bit then straight to work. i'm counting down the weeks till i have weekends back! Only 5 to go lol
2012/07/19 18:27
Was just reading a few articles about the economy, enough to send anyone asleep.....barely functioning? Think it's time for the reenergise app.....

So there you have it I have a potential meet up on saturday night with my frineds where i will be able to dhv like a mofo. Also this conversation was fascinating to read back as you can clearly see the comfort stuff i was writing clearly worked. All i did was reframe the situation. the new frame i created was that i need to get to know the real her, and that the reason why i am a bad texter, or dont say nice things is because we dont know each other well enough. Ive given an excuse as to why i have put up with her bad behaviour in flaking and stuff by saying that i think we could be good togetherr and thats why im persisting despite her poor flaking. i used future projections too talking about how we are meant for each other how things will be so good etc. Look how strongly she responded to that shit.


This is my slight issue with this pua stuff we are taught. i mean 90 percent of people here would have already nexted this girl. but the deeper into the rabbit hole we go the more i am realising that this chick has some issues when it comes to guys. If she comes out on sat which i am sensing is likely this time, i will almost certainly f-close her with those logistics and i will have what i wanted. whats the problem witih biting the bullet sometimes?? why do we have to act basically like gods who at the slightest slip we must next the chick. we could be missing out on some good times, who knows, this might be this girls version of the shit test. who knows i might even get with this chick and she might change? then again she might not? she might be a nutter? she might be my future wife? the only certain thing is if you next chicks without giving it a chance then you will never know what she is or what might have been

i will keep y'all updated and of course give a field report of saturday night. thats if she doesnt end up flaking again! haha

warrior504th
07-2012-19, 10:45 AM
Bets on whether she flakes? Don't pump yourself up on bad pua advice or how you're making the right move until after she shows up

My only tune up is:
She didnt wanna talk on the phone, you called anyway.

And inviting her to your existing plans was a good move.

cman
07-2012-19, 11:22 AM
Reason why puas will next is that it's usually easier to go an meet another girl than trying to get just that one girl (oneitis) who doesn't play ball. If you were to spend all your time sarging one girl and missed the opportunities of 5 other girls and that one girl flakes you could have met those 5 who might have been good for you!

OldFart
07-2012-19, 12:33 PM
Buddy, youīre light entertainment for her.
For her this is like turning on the telly, only with you she gets a bit of realtime interaction.
There is no investment on her part, and it doesnīt seem to me that she leaves you happier than when u started having a dialogue with her.

Is this really good enough for you?

godfather545
07-2012-19, 12:42 PM
Buddy, youīre light entertainment for her.
For her this is like turning on the telly, only with you she gets a bit of realtime interaction.
There is no investment on her part, and it doesnīt seem to me that she leaves you happier than when u started having a dialogue with her.

Is this really good enough for you?

I agree with a lot of things on this thread but strongly disagree with this player!

On facebook she has plenty of interactions with dudes which are exactly whaat you are talking about. However the no investment part is wrong. for example she traveled an hour and a half for our date on public transport which she said she never uses. she normally instigates the meet ups we have, even though she flakes. she doesnt get much entertainment from me, in fact its the opposite, cant you tell? she has already accused me of being an inconsiderate texter and our interactions normally end up with her being annoyed. remember she ended contact initially because of my texting

OldFart
07-2012-19, 02:55 PM
Well, I am looking at this based on results.
And it seems to me that while she might invest time and effort to some extent, she lacks a real urge to commit to anything concrete. (Unless I am missing the whole problem you are having with this lady?).
Almost sounds like she is a commitment phobic person, is playing the field - or just doesnīt know what she wants.
At any rate, for whatever reason itīs always "close but no cigar" - which is why I asked you if this is good enough for you?

If this works for you, by all means keep it up.
If this were me, I am pretty sure I would have moved on.

I think itīs a basic problem these days: People think they have tons of options, so they tend to not invest much in anything - but will rather shop around.
But thatīs a different debate.

warrior504th
07-2012-19, 04:43 PM
Her making the plans is a bit of a saving grace. If she's making and flaking, you aren't chasing. These things are truly so complicated. To simplify, stick to 'its no big deal' and don't try hard but if she continues to invite then whatever.

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

cman
07-2012-19, 11:39 PM
Simply look at what she does or doesn't do not what she says or texts you!

pcl81
07-2012-20, 08:04 PM
Latest round of texts. She is in bold

2012/07/18 23:38
godfather i cant sleep! X
2012/07/18 23:42
Lol, why? u got urself all excited bout ur day tomoro?
2012/07/18 23:43
Is it sports day or somthing?
2012/07/18 23:43
No nothing good is happening tomorrow just can't sleep
2012/07/18 23:44
Ring if u want
2012/07/18 23:45
Have u got an iPhone?
2012/07/18 23:45
No Nothing like that , don't feel like talking as much as a phone call would require
2012/07/18 23:45
Yeah obvs or these wouldn't be imessages
2012/07/18 23:47
Oi watch ur cheeky self. I only learnt what an I message was a couple of months ago.
2012/07/18 23:47
Hold up I'll tell u an app I use which works a treat when I have big deadlines at work and my minds racing
2012/07/18 23:49
Lol
2012/07/18 23:48
U kids and ur technology. In my day we had text messages
2012/07/18 23:50
Type caffeinated and pick the 2nd one down [1 Attachment(s)]
2012/07/18 23:49
Very funny old man
2012/07/18 23:51
Ok
2012/07/18 23:51
Why would i want my brain energised!?
2012/07/18 23:52
When u install it, copy the exact same settings as I have in my picture. [1 Attachment(s)]
2012/07/18 23:53
Meh cant be bothered lol
2012/07/18 23:54
LMAO!
2012/07/18 23:55
So how u gonna spend tonight then stubborn girl?
2012/07/18 23:56
In bed trying to sleep loll
2012/07/18 23:58
I been bangin on about this app to my workmates who have same problem in the stressful job we do. They reaped the benefits, and slept like newborn babies. There r always rebels like u eh?
2012/07/18 23:59
Read a book, the more boring the better. U got any Katie price "books"?
2012/07/19 00:00
No I'm just not in a good mood and i only sleep easy when i'm happy
2012/07/19 00:02
Everyone around me is always happy, it's like my super power. I'm calling, if ur chat stinks that's ur problem.

I tried to call, she canceled it straight away

2012/07/19 00:03
Lol
2012/07/19 00:04
Lol i really don't feel like talking. Listen i'll leave u to ur night. Sweetdreams
2012/07/19 00:06
Lol once upon a time a hang up like that would result in the cold shoulder. There is something endearing about ur cockiness. I'm downloading music, won't be goin to bed till 12.30. What made u happy at school today?
2012/07/19 00:08
I don't like that u have this idea in your head that i am cocky and as you put it 'self-assured'. Im clearly giving u the wrong impression.
2012/07/19 00:12
Lol, I knew u were gonna come back at me with that. Cockiness was the wrong word, I suppose I'm kinda used to a certain way girls im texting or talking to will behave and instead of doing what they do, ur more like me when I text. Ur different to anyone I've texted
2012/07/19 00:13
I bet i'm not. Not really. I can be cocky or whatever sometimes but i can also be as shy or insecure as the next girl.
2012/07/19 00:16
The whole way u come across is, "here I am take it if u don't like it, then I don't care". This makes me think u have a lot of confidence, and is sexy as fuck. However the fact there is a shy girl underneath all that makes it better. My job is to get her out, I need to get to know u more face to face tho F----
2012/07/19 00:19
Mmm i want to do that too
2012/07/19 00:20
The more I get to meet u then the more I will "see the shy insecure real u"and I can stop just labelling u as the one aspect of ur personality that i see when ur in the club etc, u know what I mean? For example what do u think of me
2012/07/19 00:20
Like in terms of my personality and shit
2012/07/19 00:21
I bet u get some of it right but inevitably u will miss stuff out
2012/07/19 00:23
Mmm well I think we could be a good match :p seriously though i don't know u well enough to judge.
2012/07/19 00:27
The way we r now, like with all the flirty teasing etc, will reduce ( not disappear though! :p ) and u will notice a lot more of a deep connection and comfort over time. I'm looking forward to gettin to know u more ****, that's why I'm persisting with contacting u. We will make a good match and have some good times if all goes as well as it should. I'm good at reading this shit
2012/07/19 00:30
Ok well when can i see u then?
2012/07/19 00:31
I'm free tomoro but then not free till Sunday! It's my mates birthday on sat tho and we r starting in ****** and then goin ****** after. U can come.
2012/07/19 00:34
I have to work till half 9 tomorrow i'd come on saturday but what if my friends aren't out though? U don't want me tagging along right?
2012/07/19 00:38
Ha, ur alright. my mates who met u thought u were a quality girl. Keep asking about u.
2012/07/19 00:39
U were making em laugh, u have some banter don't u ****
2012/07/19 00:38
A little :p ok i'll see u saturday night
2012/07/19 00:44
Sounds good. Should be about 15-20 of us. some girlys too for u to talk to, when my sheer manliness and charisma gets a bit too much and u need a little break from it :-)
2012/07/19 00:42
Haha good!! xx
2012/07/19 07:13
What time did u get to sleep? x
2012/07/19 09:40
2am! So tiredddd :,( hows work? X
2012/07/19 12:36
Yeah I didn't sleep till bout that time, i feel fine tho. Proper busy again, can't wait for the weekend so I can chill!
2012/07/19 15:00
I bet! What were u doing till that time? I'm so tired i'm barely functioning leaving school in a bit then straight to work. i'm counting down the weeks till i have weekends back! Only 5 to go lol
2012/07/19 18:27
Was just reading a few articles about the economy, enough to send anyone asleep.....barely functioning? Think it's time for the reenergise app.....

So there you have it I have a potential meet up on saturday night with my frineds where i will be able to dhv like a mofo. Also this conversation was fascinating to read back as you can clearly see the comfort stuff i was writing clearly worked. All i did was reframe the situation. the new frame i created was that i need to get to know the real her, and that the reason why i am a bad texter, or dont say nice things is because we dont know each other well enough. Ive given an excuse as to why i have put up with her bad behaviour in flaking and stuff by saying that i think we could be good togetherr and thats why im persisting despite her poor flaking. i used future projections too talking about how we are meant for each other how things will be so good etc. Look how strongly she responded to that shit.


This is my slight issue with this pua stuff we are taught. i mean 90 percent of people here would have already nexted this girl. but the deeper into the rabbit hole we go the more i am realising that this chick has some issues when it comes to guys. If she comes out on sat which i am sensing is likely this time, i will almost certainly f-close her with those logistics and i will have what i wanted. whats the problem witih biting the bullet sometimes?? why do we have to act basically like gods who at the slightest slip we must next the chick. we could be missing out on some good times, who knows, this might be this girls version of the shit test. who knows i might even get with this chick and she might change? then again she might not? she might be a nutter? she might be my future wife? the only certain thing is if you next chicks without giving it a chance then you will never know what she is or what might have been

i will keep y'all updated and of course give a field report of saturday night. thats if she doesnt end up flaking again! haha

Just finished reading this. If this girl doesn't flake on you tomorrow I will be shocked. She is using you for pure entertainment and giving you enough bait to keep you hooked. Your texts were super needy. I think we can be a good match that is why I am so persistent = Please stop flaking on me, pretty please. The fact that she didn't pick up your call then tried to let you go via text was telling.

You need to move on. I know she is super hot and you are trying to salvage it but I think your best bet is just to see her at that club you always see her at while you are out with another girl.

Let this one go. It is over possibly.

pcl81
07-2012-20, 08:06 PM
Buddy, youīre light entertainment for her.
For her this is like turning on the telly, only with you she gets a bit of realtime interaction.
There is no investment on her part, and it doesnīt seem to me that she leaves you happier than when u started having a dialogue with her.

Is this really good enough for you?

This is spot on.

pcl81
07-2012-20, 08:09 PM
I agree with a lot of things on this thread but strongly disagree with this player!

On facebook she has plenty of interactions with dudes which are exactly whaat you are talking about. However the no investment part is wrong. for example she traveled an hour and a half for our date on public transport which she said she never uses. she normally instigates the meet ups we have, even though she flakes. she doesnt get much entertainment from me, in fact its the opposite, cant you tell? she has already accused me of being an inconsiderate texter and our interactions normally end up with her being annoyed. remember she ended contact initially because of my texting

She liked you enough before you went on the date to put that much effort in seeing you. But that was the past. Ever since, for whatever reason might have been something you did in that date or just because she is a girl and we all know girls are the worst, she doesn't feel like putting anymore investment.

You are lying to yourself if you think that her initiating meetups and then flaking is her investing. It is not. You are on demand entertainment. Another orbiter she knows she has already.

You sir are no longer a challenge. She has repeatedly flaked on you and still you try to see her and send her these "please see me" texts. Sorry godfather to be harsh but that is the reality of the situation. It sucks but it is what it is.

godfather545
07-2012-21, 07:26 AM
I really appreciate everyones help with this chick and it will be interesting to see what happens tonight. I disagree with the general consensus that im an orbiter or on demand entertainment though, i truly believe that this girl just had a few issues with guys treating her shit in the past which is why she has been acting this way.

Heres the latest round of textsThe latest round of texts show even more investment from her part. Notice now how she is iniating all the texts. This occured imo as a result of my comfort texts i sent earlier which everyone thinks was super needy. I dont agree, it was what was required at the time. She is sick of players, felt like a little girl and needed a man to come and say everything would be alright......

She is in bold

2012/07/19 22:11
Wooo just got home, baked potato with cheese and coleslaw for dins. How has ur evening been thus far? X
2012/07/19 22:27
Sounds pretty munch, I've just eaten a spag Bol. Our eating times are in sync ***. U out tomoro? How was work?
2012/07/19 22:37
Nice my fave! Nah I'm working tomorrow night till half 9. It was fine, better now its over ! X
2012/07/19 22:51
Is that so? If ur lucky u will get to taste mine one day. I cook it better than u Italians :p. u lookin forward to sat?
2012/07/19 22:52
Lol i'll be the judge of that! I'm looking forward to seeing u yep xx
2012/07/19 22:54
When people tell me it's delicious I dont even flinch because its my job to cook well. Does the postman get excited when he delivers ur letters?? LOL!
2012/07/19 22:57
I'm looking forward to seeing u too.
2012/07/19 22:56
I dunno i've never actually met my postman !?
2012/07/19 23:00
Well I know him and he doesnt. U don't celebrate doing ur job just like I don't celebrate cooking like a demon. Btw how come you don't sound northern? Lol. *****is pretty north... Level with stoke on Trent. I work with a guy from there and he sounds like Noel Gallagher
2012/07/19 23:02
What is it with londoners telling me i'm from 'up north'? Before i moved here i considered myself a southerner. Since then i've been all confused. I think its parallel with ***** but way further east. Anyway i speak properly. I don't need an accent.
2012/07/19 23:06
Brummies sound even weirder. U don't have an accent ur just really posh. Do u own a horse? Or a pony?
2012/07/19 23:09
How am i posh? U took me for lobster on our first date and ur parents have a holiday home in Switzerland so if we are going to start accusing one another of being posh lets go!
2012/07/19 23:11
Well it was half a lobster, and they own an apartment not a home so not full posh. U use words like ensconced? Outrageously posh. When u swear i bet it sounds funny....Posh girl gone bad, lol.
2012/07/19 23:13
Lol ensconced is a standard word! Its not my fault u can't use words with more than one syllable. I need to school you. when is ur birthday ?
2012/07/19 23:19
I went to a grammar school, and still hadn't heard that word. Unnecessarily posh :p. match the 6th when I'll be 28! How do u do a shocked smiley on iPhone?
2012/07/19 23:19
*march obvs
2012/07/19 23:21
Omg u know i have like 20 friends with birthdays in March. Everyone must be having sex in june only. My birthday is september 21st. U can start gift shopping now.
2012/07/19 23:23
How cheesy is the first spiderman. I'm watching it, upside down kiss has just occurred. I have 4 friends with birthdays on the same day as me and about a dozen around that day. Summer sex is the way forward!
2012/07/19 23:24
We better get on it before summer is gone then. I like how u ignored my birthday present point btw. I wasn't joking.
2012/07/19 23:27
A few years ago I bought my little bro a packet of sweets for his b'day. Luckily for u I have increased my generosity a bit. U might now get a meal and a kiss
2012/07/19 23:28
Gaucho? Hahahaha yes!
2012/07/19 23:31
Haha, never been there and paid for a meal. Work pays when we do a good job. It's my only motivation for working ;-). U have expensive tastes ***. What would u get me?
2012/07/19 23:32
Haha only on birthdays! Umm me in a big satin bow?
2012/07/19 23:34
What use would I have for that? U want me to wear it? That would only benefit u
2012/07/19 23:34
I said ME in a bow. I will be ur present. Best things in life are free ;)
2012/07/19 23:35
Me in nothing but a satin now would be 5 years worth of birthdays for u.
2012/07/19 23:35
Oh u in a bow huh? Hmm....
2012/07/19 23:34
Ok on my birthday. U can cook for me including desert. Cheesecake.
2012/07/19 23:40
Ok. As long as I get to wear an apron
2012/07/19 23:43
Ok. Just try not to annoy me too much before then because i really like spag bol and i wouldn't wanna miss out.
2012/07/19 23:48
Erm, I think u will find I'm calling the shots here ***. Anyway it's ok, a deals a deal so I'll let u join me and my gf the 74 stone chick as me and her will be together by then. U mimd having a reduced portion due to her demands?
2012/07/19 23:51
Haha funny how we both think we are calling the shots. bet you're as stubborn as me too. Lol thats fine i'm only little i don't need too much. What is your future wife's name? Fatty McGee?
2012/07/19 23:58
We r too similar, sometimes its scary. Nah I dumped McGee last year i wanted the bigger and better 74 stone babysitter. Would u mind bein my bit on the side tho as sometimes it may be a bit difficult to find the magic zone down there with all those folds
2012/07/19 23:58
Um... Only if u never refer to it as a 'magic zone' again lol
2012/07/20 00:00
Lol u gotta stop making me laugh at loud the neighbours will think ive gone mad. How about the tunnel of love?
2012/07/20 00:02
Lol U know i'm about to delete ur number right?
2012/07/20 00:07
The lovers cove of roses and daisies and butterflies and bunnies?
2012/07/20 00:08
sorry who is this? I don't have this number saved lol What time will be good to meet u on saturday? I finish work at 5 x
2012/07/20 00:09
Well it kicks off at a pub called the **** in ***at 7.30. We can get there when we want tho. How u getting down to ****
2012/07/20 00:10
U gonna brave public transport or drive?
2012/07/20 00:10
Gotta love a bit of ****! Drive or get my friend to drop me
2012/07/20 00:12
Lol I forgot u were once a citizen of ******. It's near the station though only a few stops from ******!
2012/07/20 00:15
That was my local. Yeah i'll see, maybe get a taxi haha. I really really hate public transport ***
2012/07/20 00:17
Lol. I'll be driving soon, been taking refresher lessons but I'm still happy to slum it with the peasants. How quaint. U should try it Lady ****. However u get down there, meet me for about 8ish there.
2012/07/20 00:19
Ok no problemo
2012/07/20 00:18
U could drive to mine and get taxi with me, bit out the way for u tho?
2012/07/20 00:18
Opposite for tin
2012/07/20 00:18
Direction
2012/07/20 00:19
Yeah well pointless as i have to work at half 10 on sunday but i'll think about it
2012/07/20 00:21
Also u would have to drive with a hangover or pissed too which would be interesting lol. Just get a taxi I reckon. Not too far eh? How come I'm looking forward to seein u quite a bit ***? U put some northerner voodoo magic on me?
2012/07/20 00:23
It's probably the pull of my love tunnel magic zone tbh. I'm looking forward to seeing you quite a lot so don't worry, we're currently balanced ;)
2012/07/20 00:26
Gosh at this rate we will b goin for upside down kiss like spiderman. Shotgun standing the right way up...unlucky
2012/07/20 00:30
LOL i just laughed so hard. Ur an idiottttt!
2012/07/20 00:33
We can make each other laugh... Hmm Maybe 74 stone chick will have to wait a little while longer. G. Nite ***.xx
2012/07/20 00:32
Goodnight *** xx
2012/07/20 22:20
Hey babe, have a good day? Ur probably out by now xx
2012/07/20 23:55
Lol ur a psychic. I'm out. I'm lookin forward to seein u tomoro..... What u up to?.x
2012/07/20 23:58
Epic timing ***, text back just as i'm dropping off. Prick :p where are u tonight? X
2012/07/20 23:59
Lmao, dropping off what, u a drug peddler by night? I'm in the city
2012/07/21 00:00
U out tonight?
2012/07/21 00:02
Yup. U don't think i afford my lavish lifestyle of bexleyheath partying on a teachers wage alone do u? Dropping off to sleep genius. Which city u in? Let me guess.... *****? Lol
2012/07/21 00:04
Nah boring old London. Now u gonna dream of me ****
2012/07/21 00:04
No! You think ur on my mind or something? Think again sunshine :p
2012/07/21 02:46
I have to get up in 4 hours and i'm still not asleep!! :,(
2012/07/21 03:02
Aw :-( why u still awake? Try to relax babe, just think of how good it will be when we see each other tomoro
2012/07/21 03:05
Okay i'll try. X
2012/07/21 03:08
I'm just crashing now. Tired.com. Way past my bedtime, lol
2012/07/21 03:10
Sweetdreams x
2012/07/21 03:27
U too babe xx
2012/07/21 07:13
Didnt sleep a wink lol gonna have to power nap after work! x
2012/07/21 12:21
Ah no, how are u feeling now? I'm gonna have to make sure my texts are extra entertaining to help u thru, eh?
2012/07/21 12:56
Haha yup ! X
2012/07/21 14:18
What do u call a fish without eyes? A fsh
2012/07/21 14:52
Babe will u do me a favour and find out what time the last train from **** to **** is? X
2012/07/21 15:00
K, I'll let u know
2012/07/21 15:43
12:38. Gets to **** at 1:05.
2012/07/21 15:45
Ok thanks babe :) x
2012/07/21 15:45
You must be tired eh?
2012/07/21 15:47
About to crash. Gonna power nap for an hour when i get home x
2012/07/21 15:59
Yeah I'm gonna have one too, knackered! Hang in there ***, we can do this!
2012/07/21 16:02
Knackered from what? Bet u been sleeping all day!
2012/07/21 16:02
Was out till late yesterday then been helping my old man clean out his garage! I gained some man points today
2012/07/21 16:06
Sounds like a very manly day. Was there any mouses in there?

So obviously the threat of the flake is present due to her not sleeping. Also it looks like she is def not coming round mine but hoping to end up round hers. but im noticing a remarkable difference in her texts. Im purporsely showing more affection, adding kisses etc and she is massively receptive to this. Look at her throwing me sexual hoops. i choose not to take these up as i would prefer to get sexual in her presence where the logistics could lead to sex.

tonight is the night so im gonna have a nap and then get ready to go out. I will put a report of the night here tomorrow.

ps. i f-closed a pof hb8.5 last night, and it was a first date! first time we had met. I will post a field report later, or maybe tomorrow, way too tired now!! i am def seeing the benefits of abundance mentality though

Birthday
07-2012-21, 07:54 AM
I think a lot of guys were saying 'next' because they wouldn't want to date a flaker.

However, things may drastically change once a woman is emotionally invested. Good luck!

Keep us updated.

pcl81
07-2012-22, 09:38 AM
update? Did she flake?

godfather545
07-2012-22, 10:24 AM
Drumroll.......

She didnt flake.

So she texted me after she finished work to tell me she was having a quick power nap. I was kinda expecting a flake text but the next text she sent was to say she was on her way. Met her outside the station, noticed straight away she was clearly tired and out of it. Took her to the bar where about 20 of my friends were. Introduced her to everyone one by one. Friends coming up to me telling me she was really hot she had a bit of banter with my friends but not much.

So I had a bit of one on one time with her while we were waiting to move on to the club. I learnt a few things. Firstly the concept of flaking came up and she was adamant that she had only flaked on me 2 times and that one of those times was when i suggest we rearrange. The actual number is closer to 10 but i let this lie. Either she has just forgotten the other occasions or is in denial i dont know but i figured this actually helps me because the less flaking she remembers then at least i havent lost as much value. She also told me that she thinks she has to rearrange her priorities in life and that she needs to put me near the top. I reacted playful to all this stuff but acknowledge it. She asked me what i think and i re-framed to say that i believed i had to do the same. She says she wants me to cook for her on tuesday. I have made plans to meet and go to hb8.5's house who i closed on friday night ( i will put a field report up very soon!) so i suggest sunday (today) she says she might be too tired as she would have been at work all day but she would try.

The whole time she was saying she had never been out on a night out as tired as she was but she perservered through the night even though i said she could leave at any time. It seemed as though she was really stubbornly trying to prove she wasnt a flake. Whether this was to me or to herself who knows.

when we enter the club, I start to realise that i perhaps need to upgrade this chick to hb10. Ive dated hot hb8's and 9's and pulled a few 10's but the amount of attention she was recieving was out of this world. Im quite a tall guy so when i was around nothing would happen. But if i turned by back i would catch someone trying it on. I went to the toilet and had a cigarette and came back and one of my girl friends told me she had to rescue my hb9 from 2 seperate random dudes and the little brother of birthday boy who got a bit bold! It got worse and worse as the night went on, dudes would try to grab her hand and i would have to stare them down. Dudes would literally just stand within are group just starting, i would look at them and ask them what they wanted. Here is where i let myself down a bit, because instead of acting alpha and laughing it off whilst keeping dominance, I started to get jealous.....completely irrational, completly afc but i couldnt help it. Its been a while since i had those feelings but i guess the build up of everything the flaking, her hotness.... even me posting on this site.... contributed to my paranoia. She told me to call a cab for her for before closing as she had work the next day and was obviously exhausted. I did, went to the toilet came out and she was chatting to one of my friends who is the biggest natural i have ever seen. Ive seen this guy pull strippers hb 10 f-close on the night of meeting, 2 girls in one night etc. So he is chatting to her and flirting, but this is how he naturally communicates to people. But i absolutely lost my temper. I didnt do anything stupid but anyone who would have looked at me would have seen i was furious from my body language and facial expression. My friend sees me and starts frantically explaining that hb9 was rude to him (jokingly) but i ignore him and tell hb9 taxi is here give her a peck on her cheek and send her on her way. As she leaves she asks if im ok? I say "yes are you?" probably quite aggressively. she walks off and immediately feel like a bum. send her a text asking if she found taxi, she replies yes. Then text again to say "sorry i was a bit off, was really tired. Have a good sleep". She texts back "get home safe" ( i hate when a chick texts this)

Anyway, i wake up and think ive probably screwed things with this chick for acting like a needy mofo. The following text exchange occurs. Shes in bold.

2012/07/22 09:13
Mornin, how r u? thanks for comin out last nite after such little sleep, v.impressive :-). U sleep well last nite?
2012/07/22 13:20
Hey i'm good, i slept like a baby but still exhausted, could not get up this morning lol what u up to? X
2012/07/22 13:24
I was just msging. popped round my mates house, now just finished down supermarket. Come round after work. Im cooking up a big lasagne with garlic bread, garlic potatoes yum. Think u deserve a pamper after surviving a night out with no sleep.
2012/07/22 13:28
babe I'm gonna be terrible company i'm so tired are u sure i should come tonight? x
2012/07/22 13:37
Yeah.it will only be a chill one. Just kick back and relax on my L sofa. I'm feeling in a generous mood so i won't even make u wash up ;-). U can show me this towie banter.
2012/07/22 13:48
babe please don't be mad but i so just need to crawl into bed tonight. I'm so so exhausted and working 12 hours tomorrow as well. If ur free on tuesday night i'd like to see u then but i so badly just need to catch up on sleep tonight. Im sorry xx
2012/07/22 13:57
That's cool ***, I understand where ur comin from. Was meant to be playin football on tues but think I'll play on weds instead. Think I also should start changing my priorities like u said...let's meet on tues.
2012/07/22 13:58
Ok thats perfect, thanks :) xx
2012/07/22 14:17
I will definitely still watch towie, u can trust me. I definitely won't watch captain America on sky anytime instead. Definitely won't. (I agreed to watch it with her when she would come round even though i cant stand the show)
2012/07/22 18:18
Yeah right. Gonna give u a quiz later. Mind you i'll probably be asleep before its on ha x

So for all those predicting a flake, there is one for you there ha ha. But a fairly legit one I think?. She mentionned that she wanted to look good for me and be on form so i guess i could take it as a compliment, the previous flakes dont help though.

So i will wait till tuesday (ive rearranged hb8.5 for wednesday) and see how it goes

I will produce the 8.5 f-close report soon!

OldFart
07-2012-22, 12:23 PM
Sorry man, but this has red flags all over the place.

1) You are getting one-itis
2) You are putting her on a pedestal
3) You get insecure and jealous and act out on your friend
4) She plays the "I am tired" card and turns down the opp to see you Sunday
5) You rearrange the plans with HB8.5 to see the HB9-10 (WTF?)
6) You think you are scoring out of your league if you land her
7) You see HER as the price - you donīt see yourself as one

Bottom line: She has you on a leash, and no banter or clever remarks can camouflage that.
I am not saying I donīt understand where you are coming from, or why u act this way.
In fact, I am telling you this BECAUSE I have been there, and fucked it up on numerous occasions.

Best case scenario: You end up nailing her because she somehow sees an emotional connection with you, and you manage to come across as secure and funny at the right time - and she doesnīt have anything better to do.

Worst case scenario: You end up getting yanked around on her chain, ultimately getting little more than pussy fumes and frustration.

What to do:
Stop accommodating her and stop rearranging your life for her.
You want it SO bad, youīre gonna fuck it up.

godfather545
07-2012-22, 02:44 PM
Sorry man, but this has red flags all over the place.

1) You are getting one-itis
2) You are putting her on a pedestal
3) You get insecure and jealous and act out on your friend
4) She plays the "I am tired" card and turns down the opp to see you Sunday
5) You rearrange the plans with HB8.5 to see the HB9-10 (WTF?)
6) You think you are scoring out of your league if you land her
7) You see HER as the price - you donīt see yourself as one

Bottom line: She has you on a leash, and no banter or clever remarks can camouflage that.
I am not saying I donīt understand where you are coming from, or why u act this way.
In fact, I am telling you this BECAUSE I have been there, and fucked it up on numerous occasions.

Best case scenario: You end up nailing her because she somehow sees an emotional connection with you, and you manage to come across as secure and funny at the right time - and she doesnīt have anything better to do.

Worst case scenario: You end up getting yanked around on her chain, ultimately getting little more than pussy fumes and frustration.

What to do:
Stop accommodating her and stop rearranging your life for her.
You want it SO bad, youīre gonna fuck it up.


Dude you don't understand how spot on you are. Problem is knowing somthing is one thing, doing somthing is another. So while I got hb8.5 who owns 2 flats has a good job (computer programmer) amazing in bed and inviting me to hers for guaranteed sex, (shes also invited me to an Olympic event- not bad considering we only met on Friday :D) I am still holding out for the flake who I haven't slept with. I already know I got serious issues with wanting what I can't have and I bet hb9 can smell it a mile off. In a crazy way I just want to f-close just to lose the oneitits.! Once I f-close I have the power and once I f-close I will stop putting a girl on a pedestal and see a girl for what she truly is.

I been texting hb9 a bit this evening, she was saying the usual teasing stuff like "wish u were here" etc lets see what happens on tues. I know it was poor to rearrange and I never do, but a u could tell from my text I made a point of letting her know I rearranged a plan. I'm trying a new tactic of focusing more on comfort because she was so receptive to it before

OldFart
07-2012-22, 10:05 PM
Yeah, I understand your goal and problem.
However, to get there I think the smartest move right now would be to cancel the date with her on Tuesday.

You say "itīs one thing knowing something, and another thing doing it.
Well, the god news is you have a CHOICE. You can choose to keep walking the path of "please gimme some pussy, I know you have some...", and tricking yourself into believing you will get the power once you nail her. (And believe me, it will only get MUCH WORSE once you nail her - especially if she is hot and great in bed.)

Or - you can let her taste her own medicine, and let HER dangle in the wind for a while.
And for godīs sake: go see your HB8.5 - she sounds like someone worth getting to know!

This will accomplish several things:
1) You regain your self-respect
2) You regain some power
3) You make HER (HB9) wonder "WTF isnīt he chasing me anymore???" and effectively making her chase you, or at the very least start getting more on the beat.
4) The HB8.5 will help you gain perspective and take your mind of the HB9.
5) The HB8.5 might turn out to be someone ACTUALLY worth spending time with (unlike the HB9 who seems flaky at best).
6) You boost your self esteem. There is nothing more satisfying than saying no to an HB that you are too interested in. It shows yourself you have discipline and impulse control - and thatīs a great feeling.

And perhaps most importantly for your main goal:
7) Your chances of landing her AND getting great sex will increase ten-fold. If she thinks she cannot have you - you will be at the top of her priority list, and she will make damn sure you get the best of her in bed - and outside.

You have a CHOICE, my friend.
Think hard before making it, and donīt give up your self respect, self esteem and values just for a hot piece of ass.

godfather545
07-2012-23, 02:09 AM
Wow that will be one hell of a difficult descion to make. The thing is she said she is going to her parents for a week. She said if I can see her on Tuesday she would go on Wednesday to see them. If I cant see her then she will go to see them
On Tuesday instead. So if I end up flaking, say late Tuesday afternoon, it will be one hell of a powerful flake because she has already rearranged going to her parents for me.

My logical mind is screaming "what dude turns down a hb9/10 coming round just to make a point!!!"

I know it makes sense though, I need to regain power.......

If I slept with her and didn't contact for a while wouldn't I regain the power that way? She is holding sex as the prize....once I gain the prize then she has nothing left to withhold. Most girls know as soon as they give sex a lot of guys will run away as this is all some dudes are looking for. Dont you think this is the best path? Getting f-close and power in one swift play? (I'm an idealist) ;-)

Ludus
07-2012-23, 07:08 AM
It sounds you want to fuck her just to make a point or to spite her in some way. Look at it this way, she is less invested so she has more power right now. If you do cancel on her, dont do it last minute as I believe that to be rude to ANYONE, do it same day or night before and if this makes her stop contacting you then she never cared for you in the first place. I am a firm believer in leaving them better than you found them.

mike1234
07-2012-23, 11:24 AM
Ok, here's the thing. First of all, I completely agree with the advice/feedback you're getting from OldFart.

But, sometimes, to learn, we just have to make our own mistakes. Or just do what we think is best in the situation. You have your own judgments, and sometimes (actually more like once or twice) it is good to trust yourself and do what you think is right, even though it goes again conventional wisdom. What is the worst thing that can happen? That you'll not end up sleeping with her and it may possibly affect self esteem in the short term, but you'll recover, for sure. And in the best case scenario, you sleep with her and "gain power", in PUA terms.

I'd say, journal your experience, and when this becomes a past chapter, read through it a couple of times. You will know yourself better and the experience will be eye-opening. I too, and many on here have been through similar times, so you're not alone on this. Good luck.

OldFart
07-2012-23, 02:18 PM
At the end of the day Mike1234 is right.
You DO need to make your own experiences - good and bad.

I would be very surprised if you ended up in her pants using the strategy you are ATM.
That being said, itīs your choice in the end.

You want it so bad, you can taste it - and if you canīt do whatīs counter-intuitive and follow the advice from people who see this 100% objectively - just go for it, and chalk it up to experience no matter what happens.
You wont be the first to get burned on an HB9-10. Weīve all been there. If you do, you will bounce back.
And OTOH you might also have a better connection with this HB9 than we can see/feel/sense.

May the Force be with you, young Padawan :)

godfather545
07-2012-23, 02:34 PM
Damn, i stalled too long and she flaked on me before i got the chance. should have just taken the advice, last time i ignore it!!

hb9: babe im not gonna be able to come to urs tomorrow night. this is gonna sound so lame but untill i get my first pay from scholl next week i am ridiculously broke so i need to save money so gonna go home to my mums tomorrow.x

Shoulda listened...... i shouldnt respond to this right?

godfather545
07-2012-23, 02:36 PM
actually im tempted just to text 'wow' and leave it at that. no re-engaging no nothing untill she re-engages

warrior504th
07-2012-23, 02:39 PM
Skimmed. Summary she flaked again. Moreover, when you were together you jumped right into her hoop of cooking for her... Wtf she wants you to cook her a meal when all she does is flake? Her frame was stronger than yours. You should've let her know that she already had two strikes from the "two flakes" but youd forgive one if she cooked for YOU (playful tone). You are the prize. But she has you running circles for her and then bombs. Learn lessons and improve your next game.

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

warrior504th
07-2012-23, 02:40 PM
Cooking for her opens an opportunity for stealing her hoop and making her qualify. You like women who can cook. She can cook can't she? Live and learn but drop this chick.

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

warrior504th
07-2012-23, 03:21 PM
actually im tempted just to text 'wow' and leave it at that. no re-engaging no nothing untill she re-engages

Don't send angry wow. That's for beta men that don't have other women waiting to take her place

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

Ludus
07-2012-23, 04:53 PM
Dude, I hope you have not texted anything back yet!? DO NOT send an angry text, and also dont just ignore. If you want to text something, you can use what I've used in the past.

"Hey no biggie, something else came up so this works out better anyway, see ya around :)"

To the point, and it shows you have shit going on and wont be thinking about her. I've field tested and have a 80% success rate with it.

You are the prize dude, and because you are a man you dont have to put up with flakiness or immature behaviour. If you really want to show her you wont wait around for her, you can LJBF her before she does.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

warrior504th
07-2012-23, 05:26 PM
See ya around kinda sounds spiteful. Just FYI

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

Ludus
07-2012-23, 05:36 PM
Thats why the smiley face is there, or use a wink. If not, modify to your liking, just saying for me it's worked.

Love Monkey
07-2012-23, 05:49 PM
Ignore, delete.

FoxEssence
07-2012-24, 05:14 AM
1 flake tolerable.. could be a genuine excuse.. 2nd time - that's it she's dropped.

OldFart
07-2012-24, 08:45 AM
Does she need to take a plane to get to you? Or why would it even cost her a cent to see you?
Makes little sense.

She flaked and came up with a lame excuse for it.
If she really wanted to see you, she would have found a way around this. If nothing else, then asking you to pick her up or similar.

Sorry to say this, but you are an option, not a priority.


Damn, i stalled too long and she flaked on me before i got the chance. should have just taken the advice, last time i ignore it!!

hb9: babe im not gonna be able to come to urs tomorrow night. this is gonna sound so lame but untill i get my first pay from scholl next week i am ridiculously broke so i need to save money so gonna go home to my mums tomorrow.x

Shoulda listened...... i shouldnt respond to this right?

godfather545
07-2012-24, 01:29 PM
Yeah even though the excuse appears to be genuine, it is still lame as she could have still come over. Thinking back, ive noticed that practically all her flakes have been when i invite her to mine. She is avoiding the f-close, either because she knows i subconciously want it or she has some kind of psychological problem, or just simply doesnt want to f-close.

Anyhow, I folded and went afc.

shes in bold

2012/07/23 23:30
Yeah pretty much. Babe i'm not gonna be able to come to urs tomorrow night. This is gonna sound so lame but basically until i get my first pay from school next week i am ridiculously broke so i need to save money so gonna go home to my mums tomorrow x
2012/07/23 23:42
Wow... R u serious hb9?
2012/07/23 23:43
So serious. I literally cant afford petrol to u.
2012/07/23 23:59
hb9...Why did u make plans if u knew u might not make it?
2012/07/24 00:08
Because i didn't realise how much i had spent this weekend till i just now checked my account. I know i'm pissing u off but please don't stress at me because trust me i'm already stressing enough. I'm messing u around stupidly atm and for that I'm sorry but i really need to go speak to my parents and sort this.
2012/07/24 00:30
Not stressing or angry... Afterall u came out for me with no sleep and little money.The situation is just frustrating. Im not used to this whole "lets meet" and then next min "i cant make it". i would have come and seen u at urs instead....
2012/07/24 00:34
i dunno what it is. I guess i can't really concentrate on more than one thing at once. So while i'm thinking about this i'm gonna be rubbish company. And we only just met, we are not at the point that i can put it on u so for me its best if i just stew over it myself and i'd see u when its figured out next week
2012/07/24 00:54
Sigh, u r a complicated one hb9. Well I hope u get it all sorted. Temporary cash flow problems suck but at least they are temporary......g.nite.
2012/07/24 11:17
Hey. Sorry about comin across harsh yesterday It was inconsiderate of me...Is the money thing why u haven't been able to sleep? Hope ur able to soak up the sun and relax in ***** this week :-)
2012/07/24 11:25
Its ok. Yeah pretty much. Basically since i moved its been an issue because i had to pay a ridiculous deposit on my place and rent/bills are pretty extortionate, final bills from the old house are still coming through for example a Ģ1050 gas bill. Its just a bit of a nightmare when i'm technically still a student lol I'll sort it though.
2012/07/24 13:05
Gosh, yeah I can empathise with you. When I left uni & moved into my place, the costs were nuts. it's expensive to live around here u end up payin so much for v.little. So many random bills crop up. Will it be ok when u start working full time?
2012/07/24 19:46
Yup. Serious unnecessary Stress. Yeah it'll be fine when i'm working no issues at all. Just gotta get through summer :/ x



The apology was the recomendation of my female work mate. she read the texts and said i came across harsh and that as she was already stressing about money i would have pissed her off and i need to apologise. it appears that advice was sound as "its ok" suggests she was waiting for one.

Also it appears as this was a genuine flake. Her texts go into a lot of detail when there was no need to if she had no interest. Remember in the past she would just flake without a reason when she thought i was a player.

I found out some big info today too. It turns out a friend of mine who wasnt there has met and attempted to pull this hb9 before. The first thing he mentionned was her flakiness and non response to texting. seems she has a rep.


So theres where i will leave it now. she is at her parents and wont be back till next week. i will definitely not initiate contact. A week of no contact is desperately needed to regain the dominant frame if thats even possible. Time to go play with the hb8.5 who i am seeing tomoro :cool: lets try this abundance theory

time_for_adventure
07-2012-25, 09:31 PM
The apology was the recomendation of my female work mate. she read the texts and said i came across harsh and that as she was already stressing about money i would have pissed her off and i need to apologise. it appears that advice was sound as "its ok" suggests she was waiting for one.

Don't listen to any woman's advice about how to treat other women &/or dating.

godfather545
07-2012-26, 12:17 AM
Don't listen to any woman's advice about how to treat other women &/or dating.

Majority of the time I agree but in this instance the workmate told me how she would have felt in that situation and said she would have expected an apology. It seems she was right based on hb9's response. I rarely apologise but I think it shows a lot of value if you are able to do it rarely when necessary. If I was tit for that I could have had the mentality that I'm not apologising because she has done worse things but I am a bigger man than that.

FoxEssence
07-2012-26, 06:39 AM
wrong. never apoligise.. you just look weak, you apologised for your previous behaviour because you thought you were too harsh, that just hits home your emotionally unstable. not attractive.

OldFart
07-2012-26, 06:51 AM
I disagree.
Part of having integrity is owning your own actions. So if you overreact itīs only right to apologize.
The problem comes if you overreact with your apology also - then you might come across as a hothead one minute, and a submissive weakling the next.
But apologizing for oneīs own bad behaviour is part of being mature IMO.


wrong. never apoligise.. you just look weak, you apologised for your previous behaviour because you thought you were too harsh, that just hits home your emotionally unstable. not attractive.

FoxEssence
07-2012-26, 06:57 AM
What is he apologising for?? She called him out on being stressy.. and then the next day he decides to apologise for it.. This blokes losing. Some other alpha dudes probably hanging out the back of her.

Love Monkey
07-2012-26, 06:58 AM
I disagree.
Part of having integrity is owning your own actions. So if you overreact itīs only right to apologize.
The problem comes if you overreact with your apology also - then you might come across as a hothead one minute, and a submissive weakling the next.
But apologizing for oneīs own bad behaviour is part of being mature IMO.

I agree with this.

godfather545
07-2012-26, 07:26 AM
I feel it's right to apologise rarely. She knows why I reacted that way.... It was due to another flake from her so I didn't have to explain myself. However I feel it was good to acknowledge that I wasnt considering her situation. As I said if it was tit for tat then I could bring up a dozen things I think she has done wrong but I am the bigger man. I do agree with too much apologising and the emotional unstable thing but that's why apologies should only be rare. If u have the balls to admit u were wrong that can only be alpha, rather than retaliating with bitchy "well you did this and that"

Coincidently she just texted to ask how I am, so I'll prob leave till tonight to respond, and then short low investment answers and no going for meet ups. Need to regain the power

FoxEssence
07-2012-26, 07:28 AM
You look shit whatever.. you shouldn't of acted pissed off which was the first mistake, then apologising for it in my books is a bit gay. You were annoyed because she keeps messing you about - not worthy of an apology. Sure she then gave you reasons when you were pissed off and then the convo is all a lil bit boring, talking about her money problems.. it's a negative subject. I don't want to hear all her problems, fuk i barely know her.. your acting like her gay best friend. when she text me to say she couldn't make the date, I'd of just text back 'ok poppet' and left it at that, and wouldn't deal with her again intill she proposed a meet up and was initiating contact with me regularly.

Prodigy451
07-2012-26, 05:52 PM
Think about it, no progress is being made what so ever. Even when you met up with her again what was the point of it if it got you no where? She met up with you only to make you feel insecure and jealous over her. From what I read when you last met up with her, you didn't make out with her or do anything progressive to get a surge of positive emotions out of her.

You're not demonstrating yourself as a lover to her only as someone who is simply good company for her

Btw I wouldn't of apologized to her the way you responded was only asking for an explanation of her actions. You werent insulting or coming off to hard on her.

Also why are you letting her know that she affects you? You're admitting to her that she confuses you and has a grip on you!! Telling her that what she does is working is only going to influence more of that bad behavior

I'm not saying theres no chance you can f-close her but by what i'm reading the chances of it are very slim

Itz Skip
07-2012-26, 06:16 PM
Does anyone else get angry reading this thread?

Here's my say:
-Don't ever listen to female advice because it's always going to be what they would want if they were in that given situation. So this means it's going to be you groveling on your knees like a pussy while she fantasizes over being dominated by an alpha male.
-This girl is in full control of you man you need to stop talking and giving this chick a break to think about what shes done. Freeze her out!-my advice from like a week ago ?
-You done well being persistent and trying however it's getting needy.

godfather545
07-2012-29, 02:54 AM
I know what you mean Itz skip, I did try to freeze her out and she ended up re-engaging after 3 days but then was fairly cold in her texts (wtf?) That was thursday, saturday night (last night) i drunk texted asking how her day was, no response so im just going to not contact now.

I f-closed a random hb7 yesterday night so thats 2 f-closes this week but for some irrational ridiculous reason I cant shake the oneitis style feelings towards hb9. i have frozen out hb9 in the past and she ended up rengaging after 3 weeks so lets see what happens.... For now this thread will go into hiatus as im determined not to text her again for a while.

So in reference to my original question, I think flaking, whether genuine or not is a massive attraction killer and in the future I think I will be more strict with going for meet ups. e.g if a girl flakes once then i will not be asking for another meetup for at least 3 weeks and is she suggests one then i will agree then flake to regain control.

I learnt it was never acceptable to show anger towards flaking as it was so counterproductive. I flaked on hb8.5 today because i was f-closing and too tired. she texted "what the fuck" and then went into a rant about how out of order i was... i will not be contacting her again, it was so unattractive. if she had just said "ok" and not contacted me, i would have rengaged her. Thats what i will be doing from now on, if a girl flakes then a neutral short response followed by no contact is all that is required.


Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread, its fair to say I learnt a lot!

pcl81
07-2012-29, 02:57 PM
Hey godfather, glad you learned something. But one thing I just read actually yesterday is that Savoy actually got flaked on with a 10 he dated for like 3 times or something before they finally met as they had loose plans all 3 times.

I think if you think she is worth persuing, it is ok if a girl flakes INITIALLY and then she meets up and you guys carry on from there like normal.

In your case she met up with you and THEN started being a habitual flaker. That is a BIG difference.

I hope this thread stays dead for at least 3 weeks as you freeze her out. GL out there dude.

Birthday
07-2012-29, 04:10 PM
I know what you mean Itz skip, I did try to freeze her out and she ended up re-engaging after 3 days but then was fairly cold in her texts (wtf?) That was thursday, saturday night (last night) i drunk texted asking how her day was, no response so im just going to not contact now.

I f-closed a random hb7 yesterday night so thats 2 f-closes this week but for some irrational ridiculous reason I cant shake the oneitis style feelings towards hb9. i have frozen out hb9 in the past and she ended up rengaging after 3 weeks so lets see what happens.... For now this thread will go into hiatus as im determined not to text her again for a while.

So in reference to my original question, I think flaking, whether genuine or not is a massive attraction killer and in the future I think I will be more strict with going for meet ups. e.g if a girl flakes once then i will not be asking for another meetup for at least 3 weeks and is she suggests one then i will agree then flake to regain control.

I learnt it was never acceptable to show anger towards flaking as it was so counterproductive. I flaked on hb8.5 today because i was f-closing and too tired. she texted "what the fuck" and then went into a rant about how out of order i was... i will not be contacting her again, it was so unattractive. if she had just said "ok" and not contacted me, i would have rengaged her. Thats what i will be doing from now on, if a girl flakes then a neutral short response followed by no contact is all that is required.


Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread, its fair to say I learnt a lot!


I think you've been burned and now you are misplacing that anger.

This HB 8.5 didn't do anything wrong, she was just upset and honest, something I would have thought you'd empathise with.

"Flaking girls back" is abandoning all your principals and becoming something you hate. Stand for something instead.

Quite pathetic actually and nothing new. You think you are the first person to abuse other people because you were abused?

godfather545
07-2012-30, 10:35 AM
I think you've been burned and now you are misplacing that anger.

This HB 8.5 didn't do anything wrong, she was just upset and honest, something I would have thought you'd empathise with.

"Flaking girls back" is abandoning all your principals and becoming something you hate. Stand for something instead.

Quite pathetic actually and nothing new. You think you are the first person to abuse other people because you were abused?

woah, easy tiger! The frame you are showing here is that if a girl flakes on you then they are evil and somthing to hate???? Reasons a girl flakes are down to lack of attraction if they not genuine flakes. I dont hate chicks if they dont have enough attraction for me. My goal and everyone elses here should be to work on building your value and attraction so girls dont flake, not hating them for not being attracted to you?! wtf??

In any case, this wasnt a retaliatory flake, I just wasnt sufficiently attracted to hb8.5 to go out on a sunday after I just f-closed someone else. This type of thing is what happens to chicks who flake all the time.... Im pretty convinced thats whats happened with the hb9 in this thread, however thats life.

What made it worse was hb8.5's reaction. It came across weird and creepy considering we only met a week ago. As a result i wont see her again.

Fighting against the urge to ping hb9 but staying strong, its been 3 days now....

Birthday
07-2012-30, 11:43 AM
woah, easy tiger! The frame you are showing here is that if a girl flakes on you then they are evil and somthing to hate???? Reasons a girl flakes are down to lack of attraction if they not genuine flakes. I dont hate chicks if they dont have enough attraction for me. My goal and everyone elses here should be to work on building your value and attraction so girls dont flake, not hating them for not being attracted to you?! wtf??

In any case, this wasnt a retaliatory flake, I just wasnt sufficiently attracted to hb8.5 to go out on a sunday after I just f-closed someone else. This type of thing is what happens to chicks who flake all the time.... Im pretty convinced thats whats happened with the hb9 in this thread, however thats life.

What made it worse was hb8.5's reaction. It came across weird and creepy considering we only met a week ago. As a result i wont see her again.

Fighting against the urge to ping hb9 but staying strong, its been 3 days now....

Ok new information makes the situation different, regardless I didn't take that frame at all, it didn't even occur to me. Flaking is more than just lack of attraction, it isn't that simple. Flaking is lack of manners, respect, attraction, principals.... etc, hence friends can flake other friends.

The point of my post was to snap you out of an unproductive thought process of thinking "tit for tat". Flaking a girl back will lower you down to her level, then she'll beat you with experience. If this wasn't your intention, or isn't your future intention, then disregard it. Otherwise my point is: "rise above it, be a better person, don't flake".


The following passage made me think it was necessary (well not necessary, but I did want to give you an external point of view because you gave me an entertaining thread):

So in reference to my original question, I think flaking, whether genuine or not is a massive attraction killer and in the future I think I will be more strict with going for meet ups. e.g if a girl flakes once then i will not be asking for another meetup for at least 3 weeks and is she suggests one then i will agree then flake to regain control.

In the above you are saying: "I find people who flake on me very unattractive". Then you say "so I'll flake them back", or in your own words "I'll be unattractive back", since flaking is unattractive.


Then, the very next passage you say this...

I learnt it was never acceptable to show anger towards flaking as it was so counterproductive. I flaked on hb8.5 today because i was f-closing and too tired. she texted "what the fuck" and then went into a rant about how out of order i was... i will not be contacting her again, it was so unattractive. if she had just said "ok" and not contacted me, i would have rengaged her. Thats what i will be doing from now on, if a girl flakes then a neutral short response followed by no contact is all that is required.


Seems like you have a bit of a internal conflict, but that is quite normal when formulating a new strategy.

godfather545
07-2012-30, 11:57 AM
Nah i meant that flaking is an attraction killer for the person doing the flaking. If you keep flaking on someone then the value of the person whos getting flaked on keeps getting reduced. you are seen as the dude that is always flaked on.

I would flake on the girl after she flaked on me not as an angry retaliation but to try to regain some control and dominance in a situation with a hb. If you have both flaked on each other twice for example the power split is even at least.

My original point of this thread was to work out how to respond to a repeat flaker and i experienced first hand how unattractive someone showing anger to me for flaking felt.

Birthday
07-2012-30, 12:28 PM
I would flake on the girl after she flaked on me not as an angry retaliation but to try to regain some control and dominance in a situation with a hb. If you have both flaked on each other twice for example the power split is even at least.

She won't know your reasons/intentions.

gotta run ! dates here hehe

godfather545
08-2012-20, 02:11 PM
Ok, so its been 3 weeks and I have had no contact. Been closing other girls but I fancy having a crack at this one again. I was going to send some callback humour, low comittment. What do you guys think?

pcl81
08-2012-20, 06:37 PM
Ok, so its been 3 weeks and I have had no contact. Been closing other girls but I fancy having a crack at this one again. I was going to send some callback humour, low comittment. What do you guys think?

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/1/13/128763625196432494.jpg