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View Full Version : Wants to be with me just doesnt want to be my gf



nighnogh
07-09-2012, 08:39 PM
Ok, so I've been going out with this girl for almost a year. I fucking love the girl, I've never had such a deep connection with anyone, we have tons of fun, we really like each other, we have awesome sex, it seems that everything is there.

I really wanna turn this girl into a LTR because of all we have but she seems to have quite a bit of resistance to the subject. It's weird some weeks she fucking loves me like crazy, she tells me it every 5 minutes and she's all over me and then certain weeks she starts getting cold, anyway it's weird. The other day I brought up the bf/gf conversation and she told me that we weren't gonna be bf/gf because she didn't believe in titles, that they're just means of having rights over a person. I let it go because she claims we're exclusive but it's weird, sometimes she won't kiss me or show affection in front of her friends and sometimes she won't even kiss me infront of my friends. This sometimes messes with my head and makes me question her level of investment in this.

The other day I got into a fight because we went out and one of her 'friends' (which i later found out was kind of going out with her at some point of her life) started grabbing her leg and her hands and she was flirting with him right back, I told her I wouldn't tolerate her pulling that kind of crap on me. At first she denied it and she got out of my car when we got to her house, she just got out, didn't kiss me goodbye, just said we'd talk later. About an hour later she called me telling me she was sorry and that i was right she explained to me that she had been with him at some point and that she still cares for him but as a friend and reassured me that she was with me.

Today I saw her and she was sort of weird with me, didn't have as much fun as usual. I'm going to Canada for a month on sunday and I feel like having fought with her right before I leave was a terrible idea, but I wasn't gonna be a push over and take it... What do you think, am I wrong or too jealous? or was I right to mark my limits? And what do you think about her not wanting to have a LTR? Anyway... I seem kind of lost here, any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Portrait
07-09-2012, 09:01 PM
What is the difference between exclusive and being BF and GF?

If you are exclusive then you have what you want and if she doesnt really want to put a label on it... why do you care?

If you arent exclusive (which I dont think you are, even though she said it) then the reason she doesnt want to label it is because she wants to keep her options open. I am guessing she has slept with someone else / is sleeping with someone else over the last year...

The 'I dont want to label it' is an excuse. Its just bullshit. Its like guys saying 'I dont believe in marriage'. You might not believe in the institution, but if you genuinely loved the person, you would just do the deed... If it means nothing to you, then why not sacrifice that for the other person?

BF & GF isnt about ownership either. It is about mutual respect, understanding and appreciating. The whole reason for the title is for both of you to feel secure that you are in an exclusive relationship, and both committed to eachother.

Obviously she is not making you feel secure, or comfortable with where you stand.

You are in a bad situation. If you continue to bring it up, you will appear needy. If you dont bring it up, I think you will end up losing your mind over it.


Personally, I would bring it up, and say 'Look, I am going away for a month. I care about you and being BF & GF is part of progressing through relationships, and is something important to me. Will you be my GF'

If the answer is no, then move on. If she cares about you, and really loves you, her answer should be a yes.

wwejonathan
07-09-2012, 09:28 PM
See it's hard. Alot of girl have baggage issue or they are just not that innocent college girl anymore. She is not like this when she first fall in love in high school. She might being through something in her past as well. Ahhh.... That's why finding a girl that is GF material and is compatible with u is harder. All i can say is it wasted 1 year of ur life, cuz at this point no skill can reverese, not even breakthrough comfort. But guess what, that's just the way life is

FoxEssence
07-09-2012, 11:36 PM
You set your own standards.. you know whats right.. and whats bullshit. It's hard, but don't tolerate it.

philemon
07-10-2012, 05:58 AM
these are frames you need to set in order to be successful in seducing women.

• she should show more interest in you than you to her

• she should want to go a date with you more than you want to go with her

• she should want to sleep with you more than you want to sleep with her

• and she should be want a relationship more than you want to



I said this some time ago, you can sleep with a girl but that's not going to make her your gf or her want a relationship if

there is no romantic connection. I’ll give you 2 ways from my "f to gf converter 2012" package, with techniques that will

make the girls crazy abt u.I'll give u only two.

(hehehe,thats why i luv marketing. if i was in America by now i'll be making money . i need to have an online account )

The first technique i call what i call the "just me and you" technique. just changed the name. it is what puas call the "us bubble".
Us-bubbles are usually formed during rapport when you are connecting with a target at such a deep level that you both become unaware of your surroundings and the rest of the set. An us-bubble is something that emerges naturally from being in the moment with a woman, and can be a great way to build a deeper connection with the target.(credit: pua lingo)

Learn to use more of "we” than "I" to create a bond.(sometimes, I forget to do that when dating other girls. don’t know why)

the second is the most powerful yet effetive technique of all times, y'all heard it before, it’s call"role play”. Let me get
into the specifics. You need to create a rolepay is the " the husband and the wife"many girls are uncomfortable with the gf
talk but once you call them "wifey" or "my wife" they don't get defensive because they can't tell if u r serious or joking.
to role play first of all,it creates a fun vibe secondly,it gives u the chance to do more intimate stuff .

WARNING : Do this if she is having fun with it,if she is not drop it.

To get a step further is dirty compliance when she is already investing in you.


Dirty Compliance: She does something and you frame it as if she did it for you. eg:
“Baby, you didn't have to get all dressed up just for me.”

“Sweety, you didn't have to clean up your entire house just for me.”


Dirty compliance, aside from helping prepare her for true compliance, also reinforces the perception in her mind of having invested in you. This makes her more loyal, and makes it easier for her to rationalize her escalations with you.

WARNING:In general if she doesn't fall into the frame, yo your energy is wrong. It should be noticeably playful. Otherwise
it's really creepy. If a girl looks at you in a weird way, just change the subject. Don't push it and don't over do it !It is better if you do it when her friends are not around or she might feel uncomfortable with it because it might put pressure on her.
(credit:vin dicarlo)

Most women are afraid of commitment because they might be afraid that they might not have as much fun as they had when they
are single than when they are in a relationship and some are afraid that the relationship might not end up well based on their past experiences so you need to assure her that everything is ok and the relationship will be fun thats why you need to give her the roleplay.The roleplay is like the trial version of how the relationship is going to look like so make good use
of it.
WARNING: don't be too lovey-dovey or its going to bite you in the ass.

And some girls might feel uncomfortable to do PDA'S in front of her friends because she might feel like a slut especially if
she hasn't made it official yet that the two of you are bf and gf. so let her make it official herself. so how do you do make
her to want to desire PDA's,keep doing it in secret till she gets tired of it and wants it out in the open.A good tip to do
stuff like this is in the club when her friends are not around.you dancing and taking things from there...
she might be sleeping with other guys and that is ok.you have nothing to say in this matter because you're not her bf yet but when you are get into a relationship that shit needs to stop(unless you want an open one.)use protection because girls who don't want commitment might have a promiscuous lifestyle so keep your eyes open before you decide to have a LTR.So keep doing what you doin wat u do till she says the "L"Word or hint at a relationship.


and most of all,i like updates so keep us updated.

nighnogh
07-12-2012, 11:48 PM
Thanks for the replies guys, like i said, there are moments where she loves me like crazy, those are the moments that she does everything more than me but then she stops so the roles reverse, it's weird. The us bubble was achieved without me even knowing that's what it was called, that happenes naturally. I've played dirty compliance a lot, for example when I was barely getting to know her we went to a party and on our way back to her house I wasn't really sure how to get her there so she was giving me directions, we got lost at some point and I started teasing her about her getting lost on purpose just to hang out with me a bit more and i always do stuff like that. I haven't played the husband wife thing and I'm not planning to because it would totally freak her out hahaha.

I really like this girl, I really want to have a LTR with her. Today I went out with her and she was supposedly staying at my place tonight, we had planned it a day before but today when I picked her up she told me she had a lot of work and that she probably wouldn't be able to stay I said that it was ok but I was really thinking after a couple of beers she'll end up staying. We had a really good time but she ended up deciding she was staying at her place cause if she went to my place we would just go to sleep really late and she wouldn't wake up on time to meet her deadline. I tried to convince her, you know kissed her, held her by the waist, insisted, but she said "no I really have to have all of this by 10 am" then she looked at me in the eyes and told me "I really care for you, is that not enough?" (here it's kind of hard to translate, I am from Mexico and in Spanish there are two words for love, "te quiero" which is to love or care for someone, like a friend or a brother, and "te amo" which is in a more romantic way, she said the first one) and I looked at her in the eyes and we kissed and that was that, i got her home we made out a bit more and then she kissed me goodnight and left.

It's alright I understand that she's busy tomorrow there was really no problem at all it's just that I feel like I love her and she only cares for me, here's my plan, I'm leaving to Canada for a month on sunday, in our farewell I'm thinking of just telling her: "remember that day when you asked me if caring for me was not enough? Well the answer is no, because I love you." I know, I know, it sounds really dramatic and cheesy and I'm thinking it will probably freak her out at first or confuse her but, hell, I'm leaving a month and she's always telling me how much she'll miss me and all that so I'm thinking... at some point she will miss me and when she does she will most likely reevaluate everything and at the end she will either decide she loves me too or she will decide that she doesn't, it's hit or miss. What do you guys think? It's the kamikaze taken to PUA grounds lol, I'll check for your replies, thanks!

GGmesh
07-13-2012, 12:31 AM
Don't do it man! She needs to have those feelings for you first before you tell her that for the first time. Otherwise no matter what her answer or decision she'll feel like she was forced.

philemon
07-13-2012, 09:07 AM
I haven't played the husband wife thing and I'm not planning to because it would totally freak her out hahaha.
i like that,and you shouldn't you know her better than i do.you don't need to force it.these are frames you need to set in order to be successful in seducing women.like i said

she should show more interest in you than you to her

she should want to go a date with you more than you want to go with her

she should want to sleep with you more than you want to sleep with her

and she should be want a relationship more than you want to

and finally,R.So keep doing what you doin wat u do till she says the "L"Word ( love word ) or hint at a relationship.so pls don't say "i love you" that would really freeakk her out,ok.