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View Full Version : How to deal with girl who is angry over trivial shit?



JimmieRustler
07-2012-08, 06:04 PM
Long story short, this girl is angry and a friend and I because we didnt invite her to a 4th of July BBQ. Shes a pretty close friend too.

We didnt invite her because she was mad for a separate reason and we didnt want to bother her or bring any drama while we were hanging out.

She found out we were at the beach and got angry. We told her we didnt mean any harm and we didnt invite because we thought she was still angry/didnt want to annoy her.

She sent the following texts and isnt talking to either of us. I find this extremely immature.

"Whatever dude the point is you didnt invite"

and

"Whatever dont invite me to shit anymore cause that shit you guys did there hurt. I was at home alone not doing shit"

What should I do here? I tried calling her yesterday with no luck. I also invited her to a couple places in the last couple days. She says shes "busy" or just doesnt respond or hangs out with other friends. Im not going to contact her for a while because I dont want to seem desperate for her forgiveness.

What would you do in this situation?

Hank Havok
07-2012-08, 06:13 PM
Neither of you are wrong here. You tried to avoid drama but she felt left out. I'm sure had the potential drama had not been an issue she would have gotten the invite. The girl will certainly pout and be hurt for a few days. Let it die down and chill out with no communication or texts then send her a descriptive email/facebook message telling her why you didn't invite her and offer her a sincere apology and even tell her she was "right" and that you "understand" her feelings but explain your hands were tied and instead of making things awkward you just avoided it at the cost of her feelings. Apologize again and leave her with something like. I hope we can move past this and be friends like always.
basically she's hurt but she deff needs a couple to to chill out then give her the attention she wants and I'm sure things will be fine. You're Welcome.. HH

JimmieRustler
07-2012-08, 06:18 PM
The text that I quoted above were her responses to the text I sent her which basically stated exactly what you told me to say.

I let it be clear that it wasnt a matter of us not wanting her there, just that we wanted to avoid any drama. She doesnt seem to understand this and says "atleast you could have texted me"

Ill wait a bit and give her her space, thanks HH

Hank Havok
07-2012-08, 06:37 PM
The key is to wait a couple of days and let her chill out and notice i said to facebook or email her... even though it seems to be the same thing women take a written message to be a bit more sincere than a text. I know it seems like the same thing to you but it's the small things that count here. You already texted her so another text will just register the same but a long nice message written out will seem sincere and you will have a better shot at forgiveness. Social Science is like hooking up a dvd player. If you don't do it exact it won't turn on. My main points were to not text, write a nice long descriptive message and to wait a couple days. Those are the keys here. Good Luck. HH

Love Monkey
07-2012-08, 07:37 PM
One of my friends did this. I ignored him for a couple weeks and then when I called him up I pretended it never happened. I basically used girl logic on him since he is so reactive.

Domeremy
07-2012-08, 11:25 PM
One of my friends did this. I ignored him for a couple weeks and then when I called him up I pretended it never happened. I basically used girl logic on him since he is so reactive.
Ya that's really dumb because it leads to having a bunch of unresolved issues that pile up over time causing more drama.

Sorry OP but you did the wrong thing twice. 1st was not resolving whatever previous drama you had. 2nd was not inviting her. If you resolved the previous drama then 2nd issue would have never happened. You can't be an alpha male if you run away from your problems.

Birthday
07-2012-08, 11:35 PM
Why do you want to hang out with her exactly?

driedfruit
07-2012-08, 11:37 PM
If she's a drama queen then stop feeling bad and cut her out of the group.

Love Monkey
07-2012-08, 11:49 PM
Ya that's really dumb because it leads to having a bunch of unresolved issues that pile up over time causing more drama.

Sorry OP but you did the wrong thing twice. 1st was not resolving whatever previous drama you had. 2nd was not inviting her. If you resolved the previous drama then 2nd issue would have never happened. You can't be an alpha male if you run away from your problems.
Really? You mean you can't train someone to stop causing drama by reducing contact? Solved the issue in my case since he has learned that I don't need to deal with his shit, I can just walk away. If the issue is the other person's then it's up to them to solve it themselves. If they don't want to resolve it you have to keep on living your life rather than bending it around their issues.

JimmieRustler
07-2012-08, 11:59 PM
Why do you want to hang out with her exactly?
Shes a good, close friend. Like her a bit as well.

If she's a drama queen then stop feeling bad and cut her out of the group.

Shes not really a drama queen, its just this situation here

Birthday
07-2012-10, 04:50 AM
She sounds like a girl who doesn't know how to be on her own. I am currently dealing with one, they are a pain in the ass.