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View Full Version : To SMS or not to SMS - Time to Decide!



ManOfMethod
01-09-2006, 04:18 AM
Guys,
Thought I'd get something out there and see what the Community has to say. Props to Trev_023 for raising it in his "First Sarge Pt 2" thread/post.
I've fallen victim so many times (in my AFC days - being up until a few months ago) to the SMS-death. That is, fucking up many a promising opportunity with an HB by over-indulging in txt-chat.
Everyone must have at least one instance where one of the following has happened:
(1) During the txting one of you mis-interprets what the other is saying. Either the intent, the context, or just the plain English of what's being said because SMS means you use abbreviations, cut out half the words in sentences and can't put any feeling (except for a range of smilies :eek: :cool: etc...) and the issue fucks things up because of the time lag between replies.
(2) You (or her) sends messages that say things which are too full on or too cold that you NEVER would have said in a conversation.
(3) The time lag itself between replies creates a shit-load of tension (the bad kind) to a fledgling relationship.
So, sure they're convenient, they don't require anywhere near the courage that a phone call does, etc. etc. but seriously, we're all here to build our Game and I don't believe that "TXT GME" (typo intended) is something that we should be indulging in.
I am by no means a PUA but insight is insight and I think it's time to put SMS/TXT/MSGing in that little box with all our other AFC behaviours and use the Game we've given each other.
The floor's open - what do you recon? mPUAs and Gurus - love your input too. Post or Private mail.
- Method

ZenMonk
01-09-2006, 04:30 AM
weird, i use sms a fair amount and don't see it as being that big a deal. how's it really that much different from IM chat, other than the delay? It's a good medium for funny one liners and witty comebacks.

Amph
01-09-2006, 04:30 AM
Well I just texted someone I number closed before christmas to go out to a bar tomorrow night, and she replied in the affirmative.
So texting has got me a date, along with the opportunity for sex. So its made me happy.

Katil
01-09-2006, 06:15 AM
SMS is used a LOT more overseas because it is so much cheaper...BUT...I dont think you should SMS when you can call...and only SMS small msgs - no conversations.
Like -
"what time 2mrow?"
"8pm"
"cool - c u"

Unique
01-09-2006, 06:39 AM
SMS has fucked me before, getting too involved with the girl and texting far too often because its easy to get wrapped in text conversations.
However, it was initially what got me laid by the chick in the first place, along with running game on her when we met up.
Texts are good because some girls prefer them, a phone call can be too full on if you've just met them a couple nights before in a bar. Texts means you can get to know them easily, but DON'T get too involved in the chit chat if poss because it will make you appear some AFC chode.
Kind of a dilemna that depends on the woman your gaming, You don't know whether the girl would prefer a text or a call, and you can't find out without texting or calling.
Catch 22 situation.
Interesting topic
Unique

Play
01-09-2006, 08:08 AM
I dont even think twice about whether sms'ing is AFC. Sure , a sms is fine if you're dating or for a MLTR, any other situation to sms would be AFC. (Exept of the confirmation thing Katil mentioned...) If you number close a HB the last time out sarging and you decide to sms her 2/3 days later I think its cowardly. Not just that, but she gets a total different perspective of you since you were that super confident guy in the club/coffee shop/whatever. If you phone her you again show confidence and alpha traits. I say alfa because every frikkin time some of my AFC buddies meet a nice girl they jumo onto their phone the same night/or the next day litteraly having conversations with her over text!!! And Im like: "Dude, wtf are you doing???" And I could see in their faces that their embarrased about it. So try, by all means, not to sms a girl. I have even ask'd woman about this: "Hey, what do you prefer, a guy phoning you every once in a while unexpectedly or a guy that sms's you once a week or more." I found that the high maintainance woman said sms regularly (but you dont want those kind of woman do you?) The other 10/8 said an unexpected phone call is much better.
Think about this if youre a regular sms'er
Play

Fate
01-09-2006, 08:50 AM
Being involved in a text discussion shows a LOT more effort than a phone call. I mean if it's a real short conversation, it's probably not too bad, but if you are spending more than 10 minutes trying to talk with someone by txt, you're putting in too much effort IMHO and the girl *knows* that.
Fate

Slimijs
01-09-2006, 09:49 AM
I dont even think twice about whether sms'ing is AFC. Sure , a sms is fine if you're dating or for a MLTR, any other situation to sms would be AFC. (Exept of the confirmation thing Katil mentioned...) If you number close a HB the last time out sarging and you decide to sms her 2/3 days later I think its cowardly. Not just that, but she gets a total different perspective of you since you were that super confident guy in the club/coffee shop/whatever. If you phone her you again show confidence and alpha traits. I say alfa because every frikkin time some of my AFC buddies meet a nice girl they jumo onto their phone the same night/or the next day litteraly having conversations with her over text!!! And Im like: "Dude, wtf are you doing???" And I could see in their faces that their embarrased about it. So try, by all means, not to sms a girl. I have even ask'd woman about this: "Hey, what do you prefer, a guy phoning you every once in a while unexpectedly or a guy that sms's you once a week or more." I found that the high maintainance woman said sms regularly (but you dont want those kind of woman do you?) The other 10/8 said an unexpected phone call is much better.
Think about this if youre a regular sms'er
Play
I think you are fukkin' on the money. SMS should be eliminted from solid game. I still fall to SMS, because it's simply dosen't put too much pressure on you, and you can think in a slow time mode. Like chatting. But It mostly depends on a girl, if she's SMS receptive.

ManOfMethod
01-09-2006, 01:42 PM
I definitely hear you guys on the short confirmations thing. Quick questions are fine. The issue is the long TXT-conversations.
As far as a girl finding a phone call too full-on...well, I don't think that would be an issue. She's just been sarged by a guy who pulled a super confident opener, layed down some crazy shit about reading her mind and a cube and then number closed her while still insulting (negging) her. So, if she's scared of a phone call, then you've just sarged Dr Jeckyll and Mr Crazy Chick! :eek:
That said, easiest way to avoid her whole "freak-out" from the phone call is to time constraint it (but just make sure that the time constraint is one you can blow of if the conversation starts getting good).
PUA: "Hey, how are ya? Just thought I'd give you a quick call before a head out for my run. But I can't talk too long as I want to catch the last hour of daylight"
~If it's good~
HB: "Don't you have to go for your run?" (Assuming the convo has been good and she's not laying down a brush-off)
PUA: "Yeah, but I'm kinda in the middle of something..."
Lame, but you get the idea.
And don't get me wrong about SMS/TXTing...I've fucked up plenty through it's overuse but also kicked off some great relationships with it. So, each of us has to decide...but remember, AFCs can TXT too, but only PUAs can run tight Game in a phone call!

Play
01-09-2006, 02:16 PM
"but remember, AFCs can TXT too, but only PUAs can run tight Game in a phone call!"- wise words by Man of Method.
AFC's tend to use it frequently, thats why I tend to stay away.
Hell, if phoning was so popular among the AFC's I probably would have sms'ed woman rather than phoning. But because woman love alphaness, and of the alpha traits is being confident, doing the thing that takes most guts gets you the best results.- This is a fact in my books.
So dont be a pussy and sms her, rather phone and deliver a impact with not just your tonality and tempo, but also the the game you can run on her while on the phone. The first call I give to a girl to arrange a date also contains my first compliment... I say something cocky funny making her laugh then compliment her on her nice laughter. (This works wonders) Then I ask her for the informal coffee meeting.
Play (I took this too far again and totaly ran off topic)

The_Shezzler
01-09-2006, 03:11 PM
Weird huh? You ever been in that situation, you've successfully sarged a stunning girl, youve kissed her, touched her in places that only months before you would never have even dreamed about...but when it comes to calling - theres an invisible wall preventing you from picking up that damn telephone!!! Ahhh forget it, ill send her a text instead - this may seem like a feasible option, but dependant on the amount of attraction that you created with the target - this may be the wrong move.
So the question still stands!!
Text or Call???
BOTH!!!!
Ive come up with a decent little method that will have your target with you on a day2 in 1 week! - Ok, so it dosnt sound great - but for me it was a breakthrough.
Ok, lets say that you numba close an HB10 in the clubs on a saturday night (now - this tip is designed primarily for clubbing girls - the last thing you want is for them to pigeonhole you as just one of those club guys - no no!)
So, its Saturday night, you sarge an HB10 and you successfully number close that night.
The next day - this incredible specimen is on your mind, you know she wont have forgot about you - but there is the chance that she may have placed you in that box - 'Club Guy', in which case you are probably a good drunken memory from the night before - but we dont want this!!!
Now - the phone call the next day would be a no no - it would come over as too needy and too desperate, a text message on the other hand is neither - it is simply a creative piece of wording to let her know that you ARE interested!! That you are not just a club guy!!
Send her a text message on the Sunday (the day after) just fluffing and vibing, mention a day2 within the text session and end it by telling her you'll TRY* to call her during the week to confirm the times etc for the day2.
*Always make sure you say that you will TRY to call her - this way it leaves a mysterious edge!
From this point it is down to you, you can send her text messages leading up to the day that you call her - in this case Thursday (5 days later) just fluffing and using the DJ techniques that you have learnt.
When Thursday comes (5th day), call her at around 9:30pm that night (let me also add that your only texting should be after 8:00pm - so that you are on her mind when she goes to bed and it also reinstates that you are a busy guy throughout the day!) so again that you are on her mind before she goes to bed.
When you call her, ask her how her days been and what shes been up to - then move into a small funny storytelling routine, using any free information that she gave you when she sarged you and/or from the texts that you traded during the week. I also find it good to do some role playing/imagination building - oftentimes telling them that there is a man looking through my window/on my roof or that there is a Sugar Dragon in my garden - the girl cant see this so it drives there imagination wild - make it has funny has possible!!!
When you have her laughing and have built some more comfort, set up the day2 sharp and straight for saturday - confirm the place, activity, time etc and say your goodbyes.
Places for the date should be:
- Bowling
- Mall
- Ice Skating
- Hiking
- Biking
- Sledding - Make sure the date is action related and gives you a chance to have fun and vibe!!!
So remember - When that wall tells you not to pick up the phone/or does (the day after) - think about whether you should:
Call or Text!?!?!
BOTH!!!
Sarge On...

The_Shezzler
01-09-2006, 03:13 PM
Here is Spirit Fingers Reply:
Originally Posted by Spirit Fingers
like this idea. The text keeps you fresh in her mind, and also gives her your number for when you call later. That way, she'll be more likely to pick up.
I wouldn't mention the day2 in the text though. I find that it is better to mention the day2 after you rebuild attraction and rapport with 30-25 minutes of phone game, unless the set was exceptionally solid on the initial sarge.
Also, I'd call a bit sooner. Text a day after and call the next day, or the day after that.
A good open-loop text message which Woodhaven taught me is
"I think I like you too much because"
She'll inevitably text you back "because why?" This is good for two reasons. First, she's putting work into the interaction by texting you back. Second, the fact that she's asking you why presupposes that she wants you to like her.
Text her back "haha, you dork, you're so nosy " for girls who you didn't establish a good connection with yet, or "haha, you're so cute, I can't tell you all my secrets yet " for girls who you had good rapport with before and had solid attraction.
Keep in mind though, that all this just makes it more likely for her to pick up the phone. Once you get her on the phone, it's all on you to build a fun conversation, re-qualify her and get the day2.

Play
01-09-2006, 03:41 PM
Another post whether to sms or phone or do both...
I think your/my game must on such a level the first night that she wouldnt be able to stop thinking about me/you. That it wont be necessary for me to text her. And by the way, never ever ever sms a woman the day after you sarged her, this looks clingy, creepy and too desperate. The thing is, if she just gave you her real number in the first place its kinda obvious that she wants you to let her know about seeing her again. So just phone her three days afterwards. Easy.
Damn, this part of the deal comes to me as the easiest part. Remember, youre the catch. And if you conveyed this while sarging her, she will die to hear your voice again after a few days.
Once I phoned a girl backed three days after I #closed her, and when I asked for a meeting/date/whatever she made some stupid exuse. And you know what I replied? "Oh, sure." and hung up. She sms'd me like 10min afterward asking me if so and so date will fit my scheduale.
And a another nice thing to say when she says yes to your date, you say: "Well, if nothing comes from this it sounds like youle make a good friend." This piece of David D material totaly mind fucks them.
Anyway. All for now. All for this topic.
Play

Switch
01-09-2006, 05:57 PM
[QUOTE=The_Shezzler]
"I think I like you too much because"
QUOTE]
Isnt that a bit AFCish?

The_Shezzler
01-10-2006, 01:34 AM
[QUOTE=The_Shezzler]
"I think I like you too much because"
QUOTE]
Isnt that a bit AFCish?
How is it AFCish? Its a classic open loop text message, shes going to reply by saying - 'Because what?
Quote: This is good for two reasons. First, she's putting work into the interaction by texting you back. Second, the fact that she's asking you why presupposes that she wants you to like her.
Sarge On...

The_Shezzler
01-10-2006, 01:40 AM
And by the way, never ever ever sms a woman the day after you sarged her, this looks clingy, creepy and too desperate. The thing is, if she just gave you her real number in the first place its kinda obvious that she wants you to let her know about seeing her again. So just phone her three days afterwards.
This all comes down to where you initially sarged the target.
Im talking clubs with this technique mate - not malls, not streets - clubs.
The last thing you want is for the girl to pigeonhole you under the category 'Club Guy' - you know, kissing in the club, fucking in the club etc etc - if that's what you've been filed under -chances are if you dont stay fresh in her mind soon after - your not going to get anywhere (this is all dependant on if you want a ONS or a LTR).
Now - i agree that if you 'CALL' the very next day, then you will come across as AFC and needy - however, a simple SMS dosn't lower your value in any way shape or form - its just a little piece of text designed to show that your still interested...and not just a club guy.
Tyler talks about this extensively - he even goes as far as calling straight after sarging in them in the clubs - to let them know your serious - get on their fucking backs!
Sarge On...

Hotrod
01-10-2006, 02:45 AM
hmm,
I think it depends on the girl. I work on the 3 day rule, that is call after 3 days. i'll only sms if she sms's me.

Play
01-10-2006, 02:58 AM
Amen on that ,Hotrod. Hey, Im not saying anything is wrong, Im just giving my opinion.
But good luck on that one. This seems to be a topic that most people have got a different perspective about.
Play

Trix
01-11-2006, 08:22 AM
I hd 2 pt in my lil bit ere..lol.
Anyways..
I understand that the txt can seem AFCish, in the context of you havn't got the BIG STEEL BALLS to call her...
I was always best at thinking of just the right thing to say 10 seconds to late.. whether it be a cocky funny comment or whatever. I found that the txt gives you that bit of extra time to think of decent message to send back to insert the right comment. I personally have had MAJOR success through the txt message way, you CAN amplify attraction through a txt! All it needs is a couple of txts back & forth, not too many. Just enough to peak her curiousity..
See what works for you...
This for me works really well at the beginning, you will need to get her ON the phone at some point though.
Comments?
...TriX...

Play
01-11-2006, 02:55 PM
Holy shit. I just used this as an opinion opener a few hours ago:
Me: Hey, I quickly wanne get your opinion on something, I can only stay for a second but here goes: Should a guy, after he met a girl in a club, sms or phone her for the next meeting?"
Her(and her friend): He should sms at first...
Me: Why do you say that?
Them: Its much more un-personal and it sounds less creapy...
Me: Hmmm, interesting...
Bla Bla Bla
So there's the answer straight from the beast itself...
Hope this helped.
Play

juxtrkov
01-11-2006, 06:40 PM
Another post whether to sms or phone or do both...
I think your/my game must on such a level the first night that she wouldnt be able to stop thinking about me/you. That it wont be necessary for me to text her. And by the way, never ever ever sms a woman the day after you sarged her, this looks clingy, creepy and too desperate. The thing is, if she just gave you her real number in the first place its kinda obvious that she wants you to let her know about seeing her again. So just phone her three days afterwards. Easy.
Damn, this part of the deal comes to me as the easiest part. Remember, youre the catch. And if you conveyed this while sarging her, she will die to hear your voice again after a few days.
Once I phoned a girl backed three days after I #closed her, and when I asked for a meeting/date/whatever she made some stupid exuse. And you know what I replied? "Oh, sure." and hung up. She sms'd me like 10min afterward asking me if so and so date will fit my scheduale.
And a another nice thing to say when she says yes to your date, you say: "Well, if nothing comes from this it sounds like youle make a good friend." This piece of David D material totaly mind fucks them.
Anyway. All for now. All for this topic.
Play
YeaHh, and not to forget another of his line (david D)
ME: lets do coffee at so and so
HER: oh i can't, i've got a date with friends
ME: CANCEL EM, i'm more fun that whatever u were gonna do anyway :D
sometimes she will cancel (or she's lying,there was no date in the 1st place), sometimes she won't. either way the c/f makes her think that you're not being needy and insecure, whatever the outcome you'll be fine.
i don't know where i heard this from but its a nice touch to any phone calls.it keeps people wondering- end the phone call as if you're in a hurry,and hang up the phone b4 she can reply.
eg, ME: so, starbucks at 3pm, cya byebye. (hangs up phone)

Masters
01-11-2006, 08:23 PM
I've experienced this before.
Thus, I've concluded that phone conversations with girls you have not yet fucked should only occur with the intention of meeting them in person to talk.
So arrange a meet and say you have to get off the phone because loise lane's in danger and you're the only man who can save her.

Iceman
01-12-2006, 07:15 AM
I personally found that using SMS can be very good, but IF, and only IF, you don't use abbreviations. Seriously. Try putting your phone on Predictive or Dictionary SMS Mode if it has one, and type everything out in full. Don't type "u", type "you". Don't type "coz", type "because".
Typing out in full is also good advice to follow when IMing or emailing...it shows that you've taken the time to learn good typing skills and good language skills. Both good positives.

Gypsy
01-12-2006, 08:57 AM
You're on to it Iceman. Being a writer it kills me to write any way other than properly anyway - but the point is borne out by a chick I number closed the other day. Just been setting up another meeting with her and her texts to me have been completely devoid of any punctuation or vowels. Just a stream of what almost looks like kiddy code.
It's not a turn on I can tell you. You just feel either 'you're an idiot' or 'you can't be bothered' or most likely a shit combination of both.
G.

Morpheous
01-15-2006, 03:45 AM
interestin ideas guys.
ill agree with masters comment on phoning only with the intention of meeting them.. I think if you were to phone and just have a general chat, it comes across as you being a major AFC, and just hanging on the line, and overall (in the words of David D) being a "leaner". There needs to be a point to your conversation.
That being said, i met a few girls out for coffee last week and tried the initial phone call with a time constraint to set it up, and found it worked quite well. That, plus i think if you msg trying to work out meeting times, days, dates and places it just gets way too confusing and she'll end up wondering when the fuck your going to get to the point.
Just as an interesting notion- ive got a mate who got me into the whole game/sarging scene about a year ago, who does quite well for himself in both areas. Sometimes he'll txt a girl (always one he's already fucked, though) with a dirty/smartass message, and sometimes he'll call her. ive seen him get good results both times though.
i think in saying that but, there will always be an element of physical variation involved. Sometimes it will depend on what mood she's in, or whether she's rushed, etc etc.. in which case you can always employ other techniques to get around it.
i actually successfully # closed a girl at a party a while ago, and went out with her for coffee a couple of times. i set it up with an (again) initial phone call with the time constraint. SMS seemed to be her chosen medium she was comfortable with later, so i just went along with it. Ended up texting me saying she wanted me to fuck her very hard, but me being the major AFC i was at the time with my follow up skills, i blew it. Id SMS'd her a few days later trying to re-create the moment nd set up a time, but it backfired. probably attributed to the fact that i didnt say the right things, plus the fact that she probably felt a bit dirty and her ASD kicked in hardcore.
now when i think back it may have been better to call, and use my voice and tonality to my advantage. A Big point David D makes. thats something you cant do in a text because you cant hear the persons voice. the words become very important. I'll Echo Icemans (sorry if ive spelt it wrong) post on being sure to write all words correctly too. otherwise you come off like a 12 yr old.
the rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper the further you go into this debate, doesnt it!!! :)