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Trawler
06-29-2006, 11:59 AM
Hello my friends! I'm wondering, again...
(And please excuse my english grammar :p)
When you are at a party or a club, and notice that a girl looks at you pretty much, with that flirty look, like she's interested in you and wants you to come over and chat with her, HOW do you act? I mean how do you approaches her and what openers are good to use in this situation? I would be grateful if you help me out with this because it happens pretty often. Please give suggestions and advices how you should act.

Do you approach right away when you see her flirt with you or do you wait and talk with other girls to make her take the initiative?
How to approach? Approach her while she's watching you or when she's not looking at you?
Examples on appropriate openers? (I don't think it's effective to use an opinion-opener here because you know there's attraction already)
Etc...


AND
When you are in the comfort building, can you throw in a neg?
I wounder because if you say something (in comfort) like “I’m glad that I came out tonight and met you? doesn't she feel like she's won you over and then not tries so hard with you?
Would be thankful for replies!
Take care.
//Trawler

Nox
06-29-2006, 12:43 PM
In this kind of escenario, I have to strongly remark this:
You DON'T have attraction. What you have is an indication that she MIGHT be interested.
You're still gonna Open, DHV, Neg and do a proper M3. The main difference is that your job might be easier. To know this, you need proper calibration.
Open the group as normal. They'll be receptive, especially if she is the leader of the group (wich she should be, assuming she is the most beautiful girl of the set), because she'll pay attention to you, and when you have the attention of the leader, you have the set.
In comfort, you can't throw a NEG, because by definition, it is a way to disqualify yourself from a potential suitor. She already knows that's a lie.
What you should be asking is: Can I show disinterest? And the answer is yes. If she has a behaves in any way that you wouldn't stand for someone else, throw a IOD (Indicator of disinterest). It can be verbal or physical, but you HAVE to show disinterest. You have to show a constant willingness to walk away, otherwise you'll be another trophy in her stand. "Done, next guy please." You have to be a constant challenge.
Hope that helps,
Nox.

Trawler
06-29-2006, 01:11 PM
Thank you Nox! :)
Yeah sorry my fault, change attraction to interest!
Okey. Opener, DHV, negs, the proper M3! So I can use an opinion opener towards the whole group yeah? I think I'm getting it.
Ok, no negs in comfort, but show a bit disinterest. But in comfort, if she puts her hand on your leg or hugs you, is it a good thing to remove it and say "Hey, hands off" or "Hey that's 30$" in a playful tone? Or should you allow it in comfort?
Thanks again!

Nox
06-29-2006, 01:50 PM
You're welcome.
When she does a kino move, allow her.
The idea behind kino escalation is to familiarize her with your body. That means, you make your little kino step, then you do a takeaway. This way, you create more discomfort when she's not touching you, and create the illusion that you are her comfort "provider" so to speak.
If she touches you, this means you MIGHT wanna speed up your kino escalation, because she thinks you're not touching her because not interested enough in her. So she makes the first move in order to "win you over".
This will work, and it's great, FOR A WHILE. After some time, she will think that you're genuinely NOT interested in her and will get tired of chasing you.
Speed your kino, but don't forget to do the takeaways. You make your move, then you take it away. And, as allways, the key word is calibration. If she makes a move, you can go faster, if she's tough, you make little steps.
I have asked a lot of girls i've dated when did they know we were gonna hook up. The usual answer is "I don't know, it just happened." That's the coolest answer you can get, because it means you kino was smooth. You want them to feel it was "natural" and it just "happened". In her eyes, it was "destiny" and all those kind of nonsense.
Hope that helps,
Nox.

Trawler
06-29-2006, 02:24 PM
Okey, make little kino steps and then takeaway!
Yeah I understand that if she keeps touching you and you never touches her she'll think that you're not interested.
So I think this two step forward and one step back seems nice!
haha yeah the girls like "ah it's destiny" and we like "haha yeah right"
Thanks Nox, appreciate it.

Vincent Chase
06-30-2006, 10:02 AM
Hello my friends! I'm wondering, again...
(And please excuse my english grammar :p)

No problem.


When you are at a party or a club, and notice that a girl looks at you pretty much, with that flirty look, like she's interested in you and wants you to come over and chat with her, HOW do you act?This Girl may be giving you what is called an Approach Invitation (AI) which means that she IS interested but she either doesn't have the guts to walk over and talk with you OR she doesn't want to give you the power of HER opening YOU, that would put her at a lower social ranking than you... that could be bad for her, let's say YOU turn out to not be interested, boom she gets nocked even lower, she mind as well leave the party because she's officially a loser for tonight.

I mean how do you approaches her and what openers are good to use in this situation?If you DO decide to approach her walk straight to her, walk tall, chest pumped out, chin up and maintain eye contact with her the whole time. When you get to her you can use almost any opener (some are going to be harder to pull off than others but really any good opener can be used ANYWHERE. ANYTIME, by ANYONE.)
Personally I would start with looking her in the eyes and saying:
"Hi" THEN stack into something else, it comes off a little creepy when you launch straight into an opener before she's said ANYTHING, if you get a "Hi" out of her, she's open for talking, so go for it.

I would be grateful if you help me out with this because it happens pretty often. Please give suggestions and advices how you should act.Now, you don't want to act like something you're not, don't be false. But do try to eliminate any bad habits (biting your nails, repeated saying "yeah" or "un-huh, mhmm" as someone else is talking, tapping your feet, blinking A LOT... just crazy quirks, you don't have to eliminate them entirely just enough so that they don't annoy the people your gaming or gross them out... that's bad.)


[LIST]
Do you approach right away when you see her flirt with you or do you wait and talk with other girls to make her take the initiative?
You could do this, but chances are that if you've been in the venue for a while she's already seen you gaming someone else. I would go right away, she might lose interest, she might have to leave, just a whole variety of things may happen.
I think a better question is: If I'm in the middle of gaming someone else when I notice her giving me the eyes do I leave my current target or go for her? That would obvious be a personal judgement call but I think it's a more endearing question in this vein of inquiry.


How to approach? Approach her while she's watching you or when she's not looking at you? Definitely while she's looking at you, if she turns away and then you pop up over her shoulder that could be a little creepy or at least easy to misconstrue.


Examples on appropriate openers? (I don't think it's effective to use an opinion-opener here because you know there's attraction already)

"Hi"
"Hi"
"How are you doing tonight?"
"Good so far."
"Seems like it's harder and harder to smile as you get older sometimes. But, you know what? Can you remember a time when you weren't happy... while holding balloons?"
"*scoff* I don't think so."
"Hey maybe you can help me with something, my best friend..."
Any opener opener can work, man.



AND
When you are in the comfort building, can you throw in a neg?
I wounder because if you say something (in comfort) like “I’m glad that I came out tonight and met you? doesn't she feel like she's won you over and then not tries so hard with you?
DO NOT SAY: “I’m glad that I came out tonight and met you?
I wouldn't throw a neg out in comfort, unless she's earned it, if you know what I mean. Negs are pretty much confined to a1-a3 and maybe a little in c1 but you really shouldn't need to do it past that.
Hope I helped.

Trawler
06-30-2006, 11:00 AM
Thank you Vince! You helped! :)
Approach her right away while holding eyecontact and use a good opener yeah!
Yes if I'm gaming someone else and then sees this other chick do the eyes will I leave the current set? I think it depends on how far I've done the original target and how good-looking the other girl is.
Okey no negs in comfort unless she really earned it. So do the negging in attraction and then stop it (or slow it down)
I'll take in the advices and do my best!
Thanks.