View Full Version : My Log of trying to become a PUA

08-20-2011, 09:46 AM
I'm a 32 year old bachelor living in Miami and I'm tired of heartache. I come to you gentlemen for help, encouragement, and support. It just seems like if there is a god, dating is his cruel joke on me. Right now it seems like whenever I am attracted to a girl and really excited about her, she totally loses interest.

To begin, I'm 6'2", good looking, I work as an attorney and have a good career, an amazing apartment on the 48th floor downtown, and consider myself pretty funny. I don't have to invent stories about status, wealth, etc., as I pretty much have those things. However, what always ends up occurring is I'll meet someone, we'll go out, and if I really really like her, she will lose all interest in being romantic. It is so frustrating. Within a few years I would like to get on the path to starting a family, but I want to do it with an amazing, hot, successful, intelligent woman in her 20s. But that seems so unobtainable right now.

In my years I've probably slept with about 40-50 girls, but it wasn't due to any skill. I was once really good at getting (really) drunk and taking home 6s. I did that a lot, but I was never really into the girls themselves for anything more than just sex. It wasn't game, it was just me being wasted and fearless and being reasonably attractive.

There was a girl recently (this is going to sound really lame, and it is really lame) who I had spoken to for years on the internet (she lived in Alabama, about 700 miles away) but we never actually met. She'd jokingly call me her "hubby" at first. I'd call her "wifey". She had actually found me on myspace. After 4-5 years of talking and her changing her mind several times about meeting me and flaking out, about six months ago we started talking everyday (again), seriously, about building something together and maybe even having a family. She is turning 26 and said she was ready. We skyped, talked for hours a day about her moving down before we even met. She told me she'd meet me if I'd promise we weren't going to have sex. I agreed. I met her last weekend, she was cute (maybe a 7 without makeup, 8 with), had an amazing personality, made out with me the entire weekend, slept next to me, held my hand, and didn't leave my side for the entire time. I fell for her. I felt so close to her. I thought I wasn't going to have to deal with learning how to be a PUA (my own laziness), that I had lucked out and finally found the one, that I would be happy with her, and was really excited about our future life together. I thought it went really well, then the Monday after I got back I got her email that said basically she didn't feel the "spark" she was hoping for, that we were much better on the phone than in person, and that while I was an amazing guy and she was sure I'd make a great husband to someone, that someone wasn't going to be her. She was only willing to offer friendship. I was devistated. I'm not one to pine after getting rejected, so I called her and told her good luck, and goodbye forever. I'm sure her lack of interest was because I liked her too much and she didn't feel the respect for me she was hoping to feel.

Time after time this has happened. I met a supercute paralegal at a document review session from another firm, got her number, went out with her, got put in the friend zone. A few years back I had a really smoking hot 19 year old GF for about 3 months before she cheated on me and left me for another guy saying I was too insecure. I know I was, even though I tried to act aloof and secure, and didn't go through her phone or anything like that. She just smelled my insecurity. I was afraid she would leave me and she knew she could walk all over me. These types of stories permeate my life. Fail. Fail. Fail. This most recent thing just made me wake up. Even though I'm good looking and successful, I still have this inner vagina who is preventing me from getting the girls I really want.

I'm really fucking tired of this. It really just seems like when I want them the most they do not like me. I don't have a problem getting GFs who are maybe 7s after a ton of effort and a year of searching with OK personalities, but I can never really bag a solid 9 and make her fall in love with me.

That is what I want. I want to solve my problem with women. I want to develop a skill set that will allow me to consistently make really attractive women fall in love with me. I can do it all day long with 6s, rarely with 7s. I've never been able to do any better than that.

Over the years I've read the VAH, magic bullets, and both routines, but I've never internalized this stuff and never actually tried to open anyone with the techniques in those materials using an emotional progression model. DYD did help me a lot when I read it 8 years ago, and I think that is why I went from being a guy who only occasionally "got lucky" to at lest someone who could bang 6s consistently and occasionally a 7.

I know what my problem is. Once I meet an 8 or a 9 with a great personality who shows some interest, I zero in on them, and start thinking about all the wonderful future things we could do together, hoping I've found "the one". While I do what I can not to show it, I internally get very needy and insecure (although I don't do anything overt to show this). I get nervous that she might not like me back and become afraid of losing her. I rationalize everything and plan and play by the "rules", and I try not to let on that I am doing this, but they always, always see right through me. They can smell my weak ass inner game. It's really fucking lame. I can pretend to be cocky, arrogant, and aloof, but when I really like a girl, it goes out the window.

I want this problem handled. Here is what I am proposing as a solution.
I am going to become a master fucking PUA. I'm going to dedicate my life to it. I'm going to learn to approach, open, and pick up 8s and 9s. I remember when miss alabama was the most attracted to me. It was when I was dating the hot 19 year old - I wasn't concerned with Alabama as much because I had someone else. If I can learn to approach, open, and start sleeping with multiple 8s and 9s (and this city - Miami - is FULL of them, if any city is) then I am sure my inner wuss will go away. If I know at any time I can get these types of girls, then I will be so much more powerful in a relationship, and will always have that willingness to walk away. Right now I just don't have the confidence I can do this, but that is really what all this is about - confidence.

So I've decided that I am going to start my newbie missions next weekend. The idea will be to go out 3-4 nights a week and to try to open 10 sets a night. I'm going to re-read all of the material, internalize routines, and go out alone in my neighborhood (a target rich environment) and just open and try to close. And I'm going to do it sober. This will be my field report, hopefully the report of my inner transformation. I'd love to hear criticism, advice, help, anything you guys have to offer. Thanks in advance.

08-20-2011, 12:15 PM
Good on ya buddy. Go get out there.

But keep in mind your goals, If she is an 8+ then go and find out who she is. If not, then move on. I'd also suggest not settling down, options tend to change your perceptions.