View Full Version : persisting on (her) rebound?

08-09-2011, 06:22 AM
this a general question about how long you should persist with a girl who's just broken up but isn't receptive. It's about a specific girl though so sorry if this fails the forum rules.

a girl i'd met once called and asked me out after a bad breakup. Even agreed ahead to my suggestion that we go back to my place for a meal, so I was pretty sure I'd score rebound sex... but we ended up just sitting on the couch the whole afternoon watching movies and shooting the shit. When she said she wasn't ready for another relationship, I steered the chitchat to friends-with-benefits, but she didn't bite on that either.

went out with her again the following sat night, but still no dice. she reacts negatively to any sort of kino, even a touch at the waist to move her out of people's way at the bar.

tonight she told me (on facebook) that she just wants to be friends, and she thinks a FWB setup would ruin that.
i sidestepped a direct answer by saying we *may* be able to hang out on Friday as planned, and she shouldn't think i'm too invested in her.

I know that girls who've recently broken up may just want attention, not sex.
But do the normal rules about handling rejection - not begging or sulking, but keeping your game on - apply here?
how much time should you leave from her breakup before you approach, and if you've done it too early can you rescue it?

A friend of mine who recently broke up told me she went out on 3 dates with a guy with no romantic intentions towards him. I'd rather not get played like that (any more than I already have).

08-09-2011, 12:34 PM
If she had a bad breakup, then she's probably an emotional roller coaster right now. If she's not fucking anyone else, then she's probably still fucking her ex. If she's fucking her ex, she'll still seek validation from other guys, such as you.

She's already made it clear she wants to be JUST friends with you. Either be her friend, or don't. Stop trying to push it farther.

Edit-to-add: The "same rules" still apply here, but not the rules you're thinking of. Knowing she just went through a breakup is NOT an excuse to become try-hard, especially so in this case. Trying too hard will send her the message that you are looking to catch her on the rebound. Don't think that you're the first who's tried.