View Full Version : She no longer interested or still interested but hiding it?(insecure HB8) need advice

02-19-2011, 10:08 PM
Alright lemme give you a little backround with this girl I met. So i'm 16 and I met this girl at an all city dance for anyone 16-18. It was dark but I was positive I saw an HB8 (shes 16 also). We started grinding n I started escalating slowly initiating kino (grabbing hands, touching stomach/legs/tits, kiss neck) and her kinoing back (grabbing my hands, grinding more intensely) which then led to us making out on and off over a period of 6+ songs (a long time I know, she didn't want to stop dancing) with me always pulling back from the kiss first and holding my dominant frame. Eventually it led to small talk with her asking what high school I went to and us exchanging names which eventually led to me getting her number. She trys to shit test me or just makes an insecure comment saying "You can stop dancing with me if i'm boring you" I don't say anything back to her and start grinding with her again and continue to make out with her for 2 more songs. I told her I would txt her after the dance n I texted her this.

me: Aye this is (name) whatchu doin after the dance

her: Heyyy jus chillin wit mi grls lol I got early shit to do in the morning

me: Haha ight ill txt u later

her: Haha kk cool ;)

I wait 2 days to not look needy n I txted her this

me: Wassup (name)

her: Heyy lol ;) hru

me: How'd you like the dance

her: Haha I thought it was hella fun lol evn I prolly dance like a lil white grl ahaha :)

me: Yea u dance like a lil white girl. (tease/neg)

her: Haha yeaa ik lol :) but ur a good dancer at least haha it was most fun dancin wit u

me: You know I'm just playin, whatchu up to next weekend

her: Aha k good nn ehh idk yet tryna find some ppl to kick it wit or something lol

me: Kick it with me this friday

her: Haha yeaa thad b fun wher at?

me: I was thinkin you come kick it at one of my friends house in (neighborhood) ((There was a party goin on at my friends friday)). Do you drive?

her: Yeeaaa a shitty car bt I drive ahaha :) I mite sound stupid bt whers (neighborhood)?

me: O yeah you go to (high school) so u live in (place)?

her: Naww actally (place) lol

me: Damn you live far. How bout I pick u up instead lol

her: Haha I cn drive lol I gotta gps :) I dnt wanna make u drive far bt where is (neighborhood) around?

me: (neighborhood) a little north from (place) the address is (street & ave) lemme noe if you got any questions

her: Haha kk cool sounds good ;)

me: Do you gotta facebook?

her: Yupp haha wats urs ill add u :)

me: Name is (name) n (high school) should be under my name

her: Confirm me lol


So I add her on facebook to make sure she was really the HB8 I thought she was (I was tipsy at the dance wasn't sure if I was seeing things correctly) but from her profile pic she looked like an HB6. From that I wasn't planning on calling her back friday (i'm picky) until I saw more pictures and saw that it was just one bad picture out of all the others n she really was the HB8 I thought she was. I also found out that shes one of those insecure/low self esteem hot girls because she rejects compliments from her girlfriends and talks down on the way she looks by reading her comments under her pictures. Shes also commented to one of her friends about how she is one of those girls who never texts guys first, which means she'd never text me unless I initiate.

I txted her on Wednesday with an opinion opener/humor to try to keep the momentum going before friday.

me: Aye I need a girls opinion on this, you think men could rock ugg boots?

her: Nope haha

me: What?! Your crazy my friend owns a pair of uggs (My friend really does own a pair of uggs)

(No response) (end)

Question: Did this DLV me and did she lose interest? I expected a laughing response but I found out she was studying for finals week by reading the status she posted earlier on her facebook so it was either 1. Shes still interested but was studying and didn't want to converse or 2. Not interested and ignored me because she lost interest.

Friday comes along when we were supposed to hang out and her phone was off the entire day. I called her phone 3 times because I know phones don't record missed calls if your phone is off. I didn't leave a voicemail or txt msg because if she was trying to ignore me I would project that I was busy or out doing better things than worry about her.

I found out through her facebook that night that she got in trouble or her parents wouldn't let her out of the house by reading the comment she sent to her girlfriend's status (They're neighbors also) saying she couldn't go over to her house but wished she could walk over.

Question: If she was trying to ignore me wouldn't she just leave her phone on but not pick up/decline calls? Usually thats what you do if you ignore someone so you can keep communication with your friends and parents (Keep in mind were 16). Most likely her parents made her turn her phone off right?

I freeze her out after that night for a week to brush it off and not come off as needy. Knowing she never initiates texting I didn't expect an apology from her for last friday and I wasn't going to call her out on it so I txt her with some callback humor from the dance.

Me: Wassup mint lips (Her lipstick was mint when we made out)

her: Haahaha wattt was thatt? Lol


I was at a party anyways and chose not to text her back because I was busy.

Question: Should I of continued the conversation? And was this a good response from her?

I find out through her facebook that shes going to the next dance in 2 weeks so I end up freezing her out in those 2 weeks with no contact while I go out and meet more girls. She never texts me but as said before shes one of those girls who never initiates texts.

Anyways I don't see her there and have no idea if she even got in or not. I text her this after the dance

me: After party at Mcdonalds (right next to the dance)

her: Ok well we didnt evn get in... (they closed off entry because of there being too many people)

me: I feel u, it wasn't that crackin anyways lol

her: Relly? Wit all those ppl?

me: Mmhmm

her: Ooo...sux


Valentines day was on monday so I texted her

me: Happy Valentines day

her: U too! :)


I text her thursday to set up a date for friday.

me: Wassup how's life? Lol

her: Haha pretty good :)

me: Thats good. Whats your plans for 2morrow?

her: Guna b in Sacramento lol. (Mid winter break is next week)

me: Visiting the fam over the break?

her: Yeppp haha

me: Nice. Have fun in Sacramento


Its been over a month since I last saw her but keep in mind shes an insecure girl who never initiates texts. I've seen pictures of her on facebook next to guys who look like total AFCs (probably in her friend zone by the way she talks to them/body language) probably because she feels she doesn't deserve anyone better looking.

Question: Is she no longer interested in me or is she still interested but hiding it? I don't believe I'm in the friend zone because of the dominant frame and sexual tension we both had at the dance when we met and I don't think I screwed anything up too seriously for her to lose attraction.

Question: Is it possible when she added my facebook that when she saw pictures of me she lost interest? I have about 5 good pictures of me on facebook and 480 friends (more than her) but is it possible she got turned off by my looks? (even though I know i'm sexy)

Question: Am I coming off as needy? I know I should have her chasing me but since she doesn't initiate contact its hard to have her chase me. I feel that I freeze her out enough to not come off as needy though

Question: Should I try to set up a date after mid winter break or wait/freeze out until the next dance to meet up with her and re-create the attraction from the first time we met?

I don't want any advice telling me how I should next this girl and move on, I need advice on how I should proceed with this girl from here. Thx guys

02-20-2011, 10:12 AM
I know you said you do'nt want advice on how you should next this girl but that's what you should do. You had a good time dancing that night and that's probably all it was. The only thing you did "wrong" was you attempted to make plans with her too early after getting her number and it was a weak attempt. Next time build more comfort and attraction via texting before asking to hang with her.

She is insecure and is not worth it.

PS- No, she's not hiding her attraction, she doesn't liek you anymore. Move on.

02-20-2011, 03:18 PM
Build more attraction and comfort over text? Well from the articles i've read on here texting is strictly for time bridging to set up a date and not for building comfort and attraction.

Next time i'm just gonna call. Screw this texting bullshit, girls can hide behind their texts but they can't hide over the phone.

You think the reason for her nexting me was setting up plans too early or her looking at my facebook then nexting me?

02-20-2011, 04:21 PM
I don't know, I'm not her, but the fact that you made plans right away is never a good idea and makes you look needy/ desperate.

Calling her is a hail mary strategy at this point and I'd give it a shot, but wouldn't expect much to come of it. If she doesn't pick up, leave a funny voicemail like the following, then I'd forget about her completely:

"Hey. I found this number on the bathroom at [nearest station]. It said call [her name] for a good time. My name is [your name] and I am up for a good time so call me back at [your number]. K, thanks, goodbye.”

02-20-2011, 06:16 PM
Appreciate the advice bro.

I'm just gonna cut off contact with her but save her number for the future.

Last question though, is it possible if I were to see her again at another dance we could re-create the previous attraction we had before?

02-20-2011, 06:35 PM
No problem man. Good idea. Yes, anything is possible. If you happen to see her at a dance again act completely cool and confident and unaffected.

02-21-2011, 02:25 AM
I'm getting a different vibe. She's not engaging you in the texts but you're also not giving her much to work with, especially if shes insecure, she doesn't want to put herself out there now matter how small the gesture.

me: Wassup how's life? Lol
*weak opener considering how she's been responding, but she did respond which to me does show interest on her part. If I was at that point with a girl, I would have used something playful like "sucker.....made you pull out your phone :p" she won't feel trapped with the need to reply to a question, but if she finds it funny she'll reply back and you set the frame that your a funny guy but still alof

her: Haha pretty good

me: Thats good. Whats your plans for 2morrow?
*you didn't play into that or engage her emotions, you went straight for the sale. Might try something like "bet its not better than mine...." then tell a short funny story or something interesting, you have to give her a reason to want to see you again, come off interesting/funny etc.

her: Guna b in Sacramento lol. (Mid winter break is next week)
*shes still engaging you at this point and giving you info to work with

me: Visiting the fam over the break?
*again not being playful, this is the point where you could have asked for the date, but with a bait/neg/dhv "thats too bad....I was going to.....(think fo something you think she'd be into and ask her to it..movie, dance, mall etc and then invite her)

her: Yeppp haha
*she still giving you a chance to be interesting and engaging man...tell a joke, a story, flirt, do something anything that will give her a reason to keep replying.

me: Nice. Have fun in Sacramento
*i know you're probably trying to come off as cool/unbothered, but if shes insecure you just told her she's not interesting and you;re not interested.


I could be completely wrong, but thats how I saw things go down.

My suggestion is send a low investment text thats funny and interesting, maybe a week before you want to do something with her. So if she replies it gives you time to reinitiate attraction and comfort, becuase at this point you're back at step 1 if you haven't burned the lead.

If she responds, realize you're at attraction again. so be funny and interesting, gives her a reason to keep talking to you, then move to comfort, use some qualifiers and definitely show IOIs, when you got her warmed up ask for the date.

02-21-2011, 04:32 PM
Appreciate the advice duparis but I figured out her going to Sacramento was a lie so the last text convo was a fluke. I could tell something was weird with the short responses she was giving me.

I'm not gonna call her out on the lie but my last option is to move to damage control/cut off contact. If I see her at another dance which will be in a month i'll just remain confident and unaffected by what happened and rebuild the attraction.

02-21-2011, 06:54 PM
Eyy...sorry to hear that bro. Well my read was completedly off lol.

Yeah cut her off. But go to the dance to meet new girls. If something happens with her them move into routines, but don't focus on her.