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View Full Version : Advice - Got her number then she avoided me



blahblahblah24
01-02-2011, 11:57 AM
I need some help with this one guys. There is a girl I work with that I have been crushing on for a while. Recently I have ramped up my game (haha not much) at work to build the attraction and she had been responding very well. I was 100% sure that she liked me back. You should know that she is 20 and seems to be a good Christian girl, very family oriented, but likes to have fun with her friends. I dont know when her last boyfriend was, or if she has even had one.

After a shift of me really pouring it on, when we walked to the cars I asked her if she wanted to hang out outside of work. Now maybe I dropped the ball here, what I said was "do you want to talk outside of work, maybe over dinner or a drink or something." Anyway, she was all smiles about it and said yes, then I asked for her number so we could set something up. She said she was free all next week and just to message her. So I go home that night a very happy man.

This was on Thursday.

Friday after midnight, I text her for the first time saying: happy new year, hope youre having fun :) She replies: Awww happy new year *name*

Then Sunday comes and we are scheduled to work. In the morning we say hi and I ask how her weekend was blah blah blah. She gives me very short replies and doesnt ask anything about my weekend which is unusual. Then the rest of the shift she was avoiding me.

So, any advice for me? We do not work together again until a week from now. I do have her number, and she said to message her to plan something. But then today she avoided me and we barely talked. What is the reason for this and what is my best course of action?

I know for a fact that she was crushing on me too but maybe I took it a step too far too soon? What my plan now is to wait until I see her next week at work. Hopefully things might be back to normal, but if not should I say "sorry for making things awkward, but can we just go back to being like we were (being friends?)" Then try and rebuild the attraction from there?

I appreciate any comments.

BigLaj
01-02-2011, 05:39 PM
Firstly, no rush amigo if you know your going to work in a week then youll see her in a week. YOu should portray yourself as a busy man my friend. Our advice to you is take-away even though it may seem to you as if she is the one doing the take away, act like nothing happened. Dont chase her either, shell smell it. Wait, when you see her at work tell her Mikey said hi!

blahblahblah24
01-02-2011, 06:22 PM
Do you think that it is a good idea to text her "sorry for making it uncomfortable at work the other day. maybe we can just forget what was said on thursday?"

Or should I just have no contact until I see her in person again (hell she might even still avoid me then, which would be terrible).

Fitchh
01-03-2011, 08:46 AM
Do you think that it is a good idea to text her "sorry for making it uncomfortable at work the other day. maybe we can just forget what was said on thursday?"

Or should I just have no contact until I see her in person again (hell she might even still avoid me then, which would be terrible).

Don't text her back saying that because then you acknowledge that you made her feel uncomfortable or you just make things uncomfortable if she wasn't even aware something was wrong.

Maybe the problem is that although you did attract her, you didn't qualify enough...So now she thinks that you want her for sex which could go against her religion and beliefs etc..I'd recommend waiting until you see her in person and see how she reacts next week.

blahblahblah24
01-03-2011, 09:11 AM
So now she thinks that you want her for sex which could go against her religion and beliefs etc..I'd recommend waiting until you see her in person and see how she reacts next week.

I dont think that is the case with how things were going. Im starting to think that I may have freaked her out a little bit by asking her to hang out, when she might not have been comfortable with it. I think that she was starting to get more comfortable with me around, and flirting more, but I took it a step too far too soon. I dont want her now to be worried about me trying to set something up, when she clearly doesnt want to. You dont think it is ok to say something like: "sorry for making you uncomfortable at work. try and forget about what was said thursday." Or maybe something different, but I dont want her to be weirded out by me all week now. Id rather just have her aware that I know I took it a bit too far and just to try and forget about it for now.

blahblahblah24
01-03-2011, 09:24 AM
She was clearly sending a message to me the other day. A message that we both know I got. So maybe I dont have to say sorry etc. But the thing is she was and might continue to avoid me so that she doesnt lead me on any more than she has. This is where I dont know what to do, just do nothing about it and hope that she goes back to normal (not likely in my mind), or say "sorry, forget about what was said" then I will only be seeing her once a week from here on out (school semester is starting and we wont work together as much as over the holidays) and hopefully things will go away and she will go back to normal.

What do you think of those 2 options?

Fitchh
01-03-2011, 12:22 PM
That's fair enough, you know this girl so you're probably right. The only thing is that apologizing for asking her out seems so AFC, you don't know you were the reason why she was acting so weird that day. If it was related to you, should you really blame yourself? All you did was ask her out for a drink outside of work which seems perfectly normal. Anyway If you do text her I'd recommend just acting as if nothing happened and see if she is free to meet up next weeek. I know you want to apologize but I don't think it's a good idea, hope this helps man.

blahblahblah24
01-03-2011, 03:43 PM
Yes, it does seem very AFC which I dont think would be good for me right now. Her acting weird was definitely related to me, she seemed more normal around other coworkers. She was definitely sending me a message. One that I interpret as back off. I dont think I will be texting her.

Give it some time and hopefully she comes around. I was making so much progress with her recently and I definitely jumped the gun and scared her a little bit. Depends on the type of girl weather I should say sorry for making it uncomfortable, or just leave her hanging.

Her actions just dont make sense after being so happy when I asked her to hang out. Maybe she was just shocked and not used to it. Couldnt say no, and this is her way of doing it. Maybe my text shortly after New Years also freaked her out.

Herzeleid
01-07-2011, 08:39 AM
Or maybe she likes you and is nervous how to act around you at work. You said she may have never had a boyfreind so maybe she doesn't know how to act since you asked. But anyways don't change how you act when you do talk to her. make sure you feel comfortable cause she will pickup on you being nervous and she'll feel nervous. But you need to include other people first. Tell her you meant hang out with other people after work not just dinner and a drink. Depending on the kind of place you work, include other co-workers.
Example: I worked in a restaurant for three years in college. If there was a girl that I wanted, i'd setup a party at the house usually, but make sure there are other people she feels comfortable with. Your co-workers can be great wingmen or women. Anyways just my thoughts