View Full Version : How long to wait?

11-26-2010, 12:17 PM
Still learning my game but getting better now. Latest story is i met a girl on PoF and i did great in the initial text exchanges. We went on a date on thursday, had a great time, drinks, laughs, plenty of cheeky exchanges. We left and when she got home she texted saying "Had a fun night this evening, great fun!". I replied just saying I had fun too.

I text her this afternoon (Friday) and made a few jokey reminders about the night before, but i know she is going out with friends tonight so the texts have been brief.

So......how long should i leave it now to try and set up the next date? I'm thinking not to contact her over the weekend, then she starts a new job on monday and i was going to text on monday night with a jokey text about her new job.....any other thoughts guys?

11-26-2010, 12:32 PM
Perhaps send her a text Sunday afternoon/evening saying "good luck tomorrow - remember, donīt try a hostile takeover from day one ;o)" or similar.
Builds comfort and is also playful.
Thereīs a fine line between playing it cool and appearing indifferent.
Starting a new job is a major thing for most people - so acknowedging that one way or another is IMO a good move.
Then leave her - and have her text you back when she gets home from first day at work. Iīm sure she has things to share with you then...which gives you a good opportunity to build on that...

11-28-2010, 11:48 AM
Ok, so I text her Sunday afternoon and after a few texts i asked her out on either Thursday or Saturday, whichever suited her. She said she's not sure on her work hours for thursday, and is maybe free saturday....she'll let me know. She asked what i had planned for the date. I text back, being non-specific about what we are going to do. Not sure how positive her response was there but seemed genuine enough to me. How do i progress this now to build attraction/comfort?? We haven't talked on the phone yet, not sure that she's a big phone person so dont want to risk calling her and ruining it??

11-28-2010, 12:12 PM
I would wait to call her tomorrow, you will have perfect conversation piece about her new job. Talking on the phone is actually a perfect way to escalate in attraction and comfort due to the fact that you're on the phone, not texting. I wouldn't text her much tomorrow, even if she is texting you because she is going to be starting her first day at work and will be busy.

Don't worry about ruining anything on the phone, just be cool, confident, and yourself.

11-28-2010, 12:55 PM
Bit unsure on calling her, dont know why, just going off instinct. Last time I called a girl when i had these instincts we talked great for an hour, or at least i thought we did. But it fizzled out very soon afterwards. Would like to get other opinions on this before calling, usually she takes an hour or so to reply to texts so im thinking phoning might seem like im putting pressure on to get the date arranged for next week. Im thinking, play it cool and just text tomorrow night or Tuesday night, see how her new job is going and then see how shes fixed for the next date?

11-29-2010, 08:24 AM
I agree with shwnd.

11-29-2010, 09:51 AM
Ok, cool....i'm not going to call tonight, might wait til tomorrow night, get her first couple of days in her new job out the way without putting extra pressure on. Then can ask about the 2nd date, dont want to ask about it 2 days running or it'll make me look needy.

11-29-2010, 11:38 AM

Just to add a little piece to the puzzle. The most important part of text gaming is feeling comfortable with your texts in any way (style, ammount of etc). If you feel like you should send a text, and feel good about this then you should. If you feel like you shouldn't but really want to since you like the girl, don't do it! Be creative in both the ammount and the style of the textes. For excample: sometimes I text back immediatly, sometimes I wait a few hours or I don't respond untill she send a second text. (depends on how important the text is for her and for me etc) and my style is very different in sometimes very nonchalant, very interested, very short, very long etc. If you feel like your texts are good, challenging and fun to get 9/10 they are!

cheers Definition

11-29-2010, 02:10 PM
Cheers guys. Definition - your tag line at the bottom just summed it up for me "you can only get a girl if you are daring to take the risk to lose her". Might take that as my motto from now on, certainly on this one anyway. Thanks.

11-29-2010, 02:51 PM
Cheers guys. Definition - your tag line at the bottom just summed it up for me "you can only get a girl if you are daring to take the risk to lose her". Might take that as my motto from now on, certainly on this one anyway. Thanks.

Haha, awsome how my bottom line helped you out more then my actual advice.


12-03-2010, 10:20 AM
Ok, so the latest on this is that I am going out on a 2nd date tomorrow. Problem is that on the first date we didnt kiss, so its a given that i need to make that happen this time! Anyway, in advance of "only" getting a kiss, and nothing more.....any good ideas to ramp up the sexual tension a bit after the 2nd date (asking in advance in case it gets to this situation).

Need to clearly show what i want from this, our texts are mostly jokey teasing about random things but non-sexual, so need some leads in somehow.........got other girls on the go simultaneously and its happening naturally but just cant force it with this one somehow. Her texts vary from long to short and all over the place (its like she's using the female version of this websites advice, ha ha).

12-03-2010, 10:52 AM
Well, where are you two going and doing?

Have you held hands, arms around each other, etc yet?

12-03-2010, 11:05 AM
No, not even that far yet......going out for the day tomorrow, zoo (mutual idea) and then go for dinner/drinks afterwards. I've done this routine before and it works pretty well, just need to keep the banter flowing into the evening stage.

12-03-2010, 12:21 PM
At the zoo, obviously you will be walking side by side the entire day. At a good point just grab her hand and she how she reacts. Just act normal and keep talking. If you sense she is uncomfortable, unlikely, release and try later. If she is receptive then you can always find a great time for a kiss in the zoo. No reason to wait for the end of the date. A "Oh how nice, I get to meet your family (while pointing at the monkeys)" comment is always good stuff :D

12-07-2010, 02:51 AM
Thanks for the advice mate, date went well, back to mine and she stayed over. Need to plan the next meet up, so thats my next step, keeping the interest going which is obviously hard via text and calling, also want to be careful of not going over the top and trying too much. Problem is im not sure if she is dating any other guys at the moment (we met on the internet) so feel like i have a challenge to prove myself better. I over-think things way too much, ha ha, pretty clear that is.

12-07-2010, 01:52 PM
Alright, an update on the above, I tried to arrange a date for this weekend but she replied "busy busy this weekend", she didnt suggest another day. I made a mistake then, i laughed it off and said "thats cool, im out thursday with friends, going to a show, you could come along", she said shes busy thursday with friends planning a holiday (she'd told me about this previously).

Think im screwed now, what the fuck, the second date went perfect as far as i could see.......when i drove her home after the date, she was into me, kissing and even text me within an hour of me dropping her off. What went wrong in 2 days?? My texts have been ultra cool, not needy at all, even though my posts on here sound needy i havent come across like that i dont think to her.

12-08-2010, 06:48 AM
It doesn't mean anything. She could be busy, you know?

How often do you initiate texts or calls with this girl?

12-08-2010, 09:36 AM
Yeah you're right. To answer your question, at the start it was a mix, sometimes i initiated and sometimes she did. Now though, its 100% me initiating and has been for the last 2 weeks or so. Not sure if thats a problem or not, maybe just need to leave it a few days now and follow up on friday or saturday? U think thats a good plan? Just dont want to be too intense is all.

12-08-2010, 10:48 AM
Yes, take a step back. It's a little needy to be initiating every day. You need to aim for at least 50/50 investment. Right now you are too invested and she is very comfortable. Give her 2-3 days off and see how she responds. You can always text her after the waiting period.

12-08-2010, 11:13 AM
I'm in a similar situation to you in that I had a good date the other night and I'm now playing the waiting game. I know she has other dates lined up this week so will give her as much space as needed.

We had a bit of text banter the day after (Sunday) but she hasn't reponded to my last message for 2 days. It's cool though. If she's interested she will get back in touch.

I might send one final playful follow up message tomorrow or day after and then just leave it at that and move on. :p