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View Full Version : Weight and Sucess - How does this work?



andrew1965
11-12-2010, 12:54 PM
I've recently joined a slimming club where all of the other members (about 40 of them) are women. Obviously we are all overweight / obese but I find some of them attractive and almost all have great personalities.

My point is this: the wisdom of the dating community is that men go for looks and women go for personality. Over the last few weeks I've found out that ALL of these women are either married or have boyfriends whereas I am the only single person there. So, how does this work? Is the wisdom of the dating community wrong or are all these women lying?

Vapor
11-12-2010, 04:32 PM
Over the last few weeks I've found out that ALL of these women are either married or have boyfriends whereas I am the only single person there. So, how does this work?
Obviously, people who rate low on the attractiveness scale often date each other in lieu of a lifetime of celibacy. Overweight women get laid/boyfriends/married all the time, though the quality of man they attract would be vastly improved if they were fit.

Is the wisdom of the dating community wrong or are all these women lying?
No.

andrew1965
11-13-2010, 01:57 AM
My experience, and point, is that overweight women have less of a problem getting dates / partners than overweight men probably because women expect men to be the hunter gatherer type (and hence they desire someone slim and fit) whereas men arent too bothered particularly if she has a great personality. Some of the women get picked up after class by their husbands / boyfriends and these guys are by no means low quality. It kind of makes me wonder about the premis that men go for looks and women go for personality. This is a bit of a reality check and I prefer to believe the evidence of my eyes to any theory.

Game Lax1
11-13-2010, 05:02 AM
My experience, and point, is that overweight women have less of a problem getting dates / partners than overweight men probably because women expect men to be the hunter gatherer type (and hence they desire someone slim and fit) whereas men arent too bothered particularly if she has a great personality. Some of the women get picked up after class by their husbands / boyfriends and these guys are by no means low quality. It kind of makes me wonder about the premis that men go for looks and women go for personality. This is a bit of a reality check and I prefer to believe the evidence of my eyes to any theory.

Perhaps taking the risk of approaching and "gaming" women is better than sitting at the computer posting your self-fulfilling beliefs that you're not worthy and have no chance at anything. For your own sake leave the computer for a while, walk around the mall and PURPOSELY seek out women whom you don't know and say hi! Also if concerned about weight hit the gym and eat right, both of which make you feel better! No offense, of course!

andrew1965
11-13-2010, 06:57 AM
Game Lax1, No ofense taken. I'm afraid that that sort of behaviour sounds a bit too strange for a guy of my age. If I was in my teens then maybe, but at my age I'm more likely to get arrested. I joined the club to lose weight so I'm on my way there. Its just that when I read dating 'advice' and find that some of it seems to conflict with real world experience I start to wonder if the rest of the advice is worth reading. Also if I were to put myself in the position of someone out in a mall and a complete stranger came up and said 'Hi' then I'd be very wary. I dont want to make oter people feel ill at ease and consequently the idea of approaching strangers like that feels odd.

Game Lax1
11-13-2010, 07:23 AM
I'm afraid that that sort of behaviour sounds a bit too strange for a guy of my age. If I was in my teens then maybe but at my age I'm more likely to get arrested.

You're 45 (I assume) which is basically the new 30 lol People your age are on Facebook, match.com, and clubs. Approaching is not ILLEGAL just keep in mind a no usually/sometimes means no, if you're socially calibrated you can tell.

Going to the gym and eating right is also not illegal! :-) I think you have given up on the pursuit of happiness (no not the movie) and have settled into a life along the path of least resistance. It's your duty to LIVE a life and not float along or waste it on discussing "why" all over this forum!

Vapor
11-13-2010, 04:34 PM
Game Lax1, No ofense taken. I'm afraid that that sort of behaviour sounds a bit too strange for a guy of my age. If I was in my teens then maybe, but at my age I'm more likely to get arrested.
This has been a false belief of yours for a while now.

I wish you were giving this stuff a chance and actually approaching women. Maybe online dating might feel like a safer place to start.

But we're not going to do any more "I can't approach because I'll get arrested" threads.