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View Full Version : Staying OUT of the friend zone.



Smoothlatinkid
06-02-2006, 11:40 AM
God, I love this game.
Especially hitting new levels.
Last week, I had drinks with an LJBF from two years ago (AFC days, when I had drinks with her, overly complimented her, told her what a great couple we'd be, blah blah blah.)
She has a boyfriend. So I gamed her for practice.
Now, she's looking to hang with me all the time. Does that mean she wants to fuck? Not necessarily...but she IS curious, and she IS chasing.
So here's a question. I've been meeting a lot of women, bedding many, dating a few. But occassionally what happens is that I'm the fun party guy, and the girls want to give me their number and hang--but I end up LJBF.
I meet up with them....run routines(DHV stories, role play, 5 question gamem burning man, cheating boyfriend, Valentine's day). I kino, use false disqualifiers, qualify them...then I run some comfort patterns (Style's EV, cube, grounding routine, question game)--kino-ing the whole time.
But on occasion, when I escalate, they HOLD ONTO the false disqualifier---(eg. "You said I'm your little sister!" )
This especially tends to happen with girls I meet through friends or through one of my pivots.
What am I missing? I'm miscalibrating something...I think I get my IOIs before I move onto qualify (a step i NEVER miss--I actually enjoy that part.) Am I not hitting attraction hard enough? Am I showing too much interest? Or am I not waiting for strong-enough IOIs?
What do you think, brothers?
As I said, I love this game. where I was frustrated before, I now get excited about the roadblocks, because it means I'm about to break on through to a new level.
And it's so cool to have this forum behind you.

Vapor
06-02-2006, 11:45 AM
I would experiment with NOT disqualifying in situations in which you are well social-proofed and they aren't in relationships. Just DHV, let them qualify to you, and reward them in A3.

Strutter
06-02-2006, 02:03 PM
I agree with Vapor. It seems like that is the thing that is ruining your chances. I feel similarly to you though because I tend to be the life of the party. It seems really hard for me to break past that point of being a fun guy you want to hang out with (LJBF) to a fun guy you want to have sex with.

Medley
06-02-2006, 02:33 PM
I've had and somtimes still have this problem. Though, seriously, its a high quality problem.
Here's help. BE MORE SEXUAL. These girls need to think that this guy could fu** my brains out if I make one wrong move. He's equiped and dangerous. Variety! Keep these girls guessing about your life, especially your sex life! (note: I didn't say guessing about your sexuality) Continue to be the life of the party. But when you have you and girls time, exude sexuality.
Tease the girls.
Slap her hand and say "Next one's gonna be on your ass"
When you're dancing with the girl, slowly work your hands up her back and grab the hair on the back of her head gently and pull.
When you get up to leave and you know you've worked reasonable game.. point to your cheek, have her kiss you, and say, "Thats all you get for now".
If you're dancing with her, point out some totally dorky guy, and how cute they would look. Then pull her to him like you're going to introduce the two, and when she grabs you tighter you're in. Then go down low on her, look her in the eyes for a second, then look down, and let her have the fantasy.. then pick her up by the legs. (Please don't do this if you can't do it right, also, don't stay down there for more than three seconds.. you dont' want her to get her anti slut Def up, just give her a mental image for a couple seconds)
Get into her comfort zone, then pull back. Say to her you have a secret to tell her. Make her earn it, then have her lean in and whisper in her ear that her outfit/makeup/hair/ looks fucking sexy tonight. Then lean back.
Blow her a kiss from across the room. Then wink like you're some super seduction artist. Its funny.
I love this stuff, any more suggestions?

Smoothlatinkid
06-02-2006, 03:30 PM
Great suggestions, Medley! Will try them out today.
Vapor---aren't we supposed to use false disqualifiers to set us up as the prize?

eFlow
06-02-2006, 07:25 PM
Get into her comfort zone, then pull back. Say to her you have a secret to tell her. Make her earn it, then have her lean in and whisper in her ear that her outfit/makeup/hair/ looks fucking sexy tonight. Then lean back.
how do u make her "earn it" ?
is "sexy" a good word choice...? I always thought "beautiful" or "pretty" was more sincere sounding, and sexy gave them the idea u just want to fuck them...
?

SinductiveX
06-02-2006, 10:54 PM
I've had and somtimes still have this problem. Though, seriously, its a high quality problem.
Here's help. BE MORE SEXUAL. These girls need to think that this guy could fu** my brains out if I make one wrong move. He's equiped and dangerous. Variety! Keep these girls guessing about your life, especially your sex life! (note: I didn't say guessing about your sexuality) Continue to be the life of the party. But when you have you and girls time, exude sexuality.
Tease the girls.
Slap her hand and say "Next one's gonna be on your ass"
When you're dancing with the girl, slowly work your hands up her back and grab the hair on the back of her head gently and pull.
When you get up to leave and you know you've worked reasonable game.. point to your cheek, have her kiss you, and say, "Thats all you get for now".
If you're dancing with her, point out some totally dorky guy, and how cute they would look. Then pull her to him like you're going to introduce the two, and when she grabs you tighter you're in. Then go down low on her, look her in the eyes for a second, then look down, and let her have the fantasy.. then pick her up by the legs. (Please don't do this if you can't do it right, also, don't stay down there for more than three seconds.. you dont' want her to get her anti slut Def up, just give her a mental image for a couple seconds)
Get into her comfort zone, then pull back. Say to her you have a secret to tell her. Make her earn it, then have her lean in and whisper in her ear that her outfit/makeup/hair/ looks fucking sexy tonight. Then lean back.
Blow her a kiss from across the room. Then wink like you're some super seduction artist. Its funny.
I love this stuff, any more suggestions?
Medley pointed out, you might say for example: 'When you get up to leave and you know you've worked reasonable game.. point to your cheek, have her kiss you, and say, "Thats all you get for now".' Good advice show that your in control, sexually dominant, and that your leading the pace of the seduction not her. Do not fall for the common AFC trap of being the nice guy that cannot say no, always wants her and she sets the pace. You set the pace, be sexually dominant, and place her in a frame of sexually submissive. You will show her that your not needy, and in control.
Great post,
Medley, points up the attitude of in control, sexually dominant male.
SinductiveX

CoolCat
06-02-2006, 11:21 PM
is "sexy" a good word choice...? I always thought "beautiful" or "pretty" was more sincere sounding, and sexy gave them the idea u just want to fuck them...
?
I love giving them that idea :D beautiful is for james blunt, cuban players ("you look booootiful") and friends.
I love experimenting with dirty "compliments" (my mother wouldn't call it compliments), and being overly honest. A great example is a girl at work. She was immensely curious about my sex life, because I never talked about it whatsoever. I'm a good looking guy, I have female friends stopping by all the time and I have a high confidence level and alpha male qualities, and in the end she assumes that every time I'm late for work (and let's face it, I love to sleep) it's because I fucked some girl. So I invite her over to my place for a drink after work, and the thought of hanging with me even though she has a bf drives her horny as hell it turns out. I tell her I'm gonna meet up with some friends afterwards and just gonna have a quick drink first, and when she shows up at my doorstep, I smile and say "I was kidding, this is just part of my plan to fuck your brains out, little girl." I say it as a joke, but we both know it isn't. Of course she thinks I only want to fuck her, and half an hour later she can't keep her hands off me. I laugh a little inside (shame on me) and get a little scared at the same time afterwards, when she looks at me and says "I think I might be falling in love with you".
Medley hits it right on. You need to make the girl feel that if she fucks up, she won't get the chance to sleep with you. That she needs to watch her step. This girls imagination ran wild just because she assumed I fuck a lot, and she couldn't figure out why the hell I wasn't interested in fucking her.This is the only time I've had a girl, who has a bf, literally begging me to sleep with her.

Hypnovibe
06-03-2006, 05:09 AM
YEA Medley gets it right. If your disqualifications are coming back to haunt you try blending them a bit more and toning them down. Also usually this means that you have not hinted at or overtly demonstrated your sexuality as a man...this doesnt mean drooling over her or making yourself readily availuable...this is a big reason qualifications, negs, and disqualifications are part of the game. What Medley said is spot on...you probably are not teasing or doing playful stuff enough either. You want her to be thinking about you in a sexual way...attracted...and then excited when you make your move...if she is questioning the little sister thing then your not doing a good enough job of getting her to see you as a sexual threat with your actions despite some of your words.

Smoothlatinkid
06-03-2006, 10:59 AM
YEA Medley gets it right. If your disqualifications are coming back to haunt you try blending them a bit more and toning them down. Also usually this means that you have not hinted at or overtly demonstrated your sexuality as a man...this doesnt mean drooling over her or making yourself readily availuable...this is a big reason qualifications, negs, and disqualifications are part of the game.
I think I get it....it's almost like you're saying they're not good enough for you, but kino-ing them, dropping sexual DHV spikes in your stories.....keeping them wondering. Is that what you mean?
What Medley said is spot on...you probably are not teasing or doing playful stuff enough either. You want her to be thinking about you in a sexual way...attracted...and then excited when you make your move...if she is questioning the little sister thing then your not doing a good enough job of getting her to see you as a sexual threat with your actions despite some of your words.
I'm about to post an FR from last night...at one point, after disqualifying her (an HB9 for sure), we were talking about sex, and I told her that she was some pussy, frankly, that I would just BREAK. She couldn't believe I said it, but I could tell she was intrigued.
I also used Medley's slap the hand, next one is on the ass suggestion. And later on, I slapped her ass. Held her hand alot (tossing it away at the same time)--is that what you mean by sexual threat? Any examples you guys could suggest would be great.
Thanks again, brothers! Check out the FR in about 20 min.
__________________

Hypnovibe
06-03-2006, 12:02 PM
Think of it like fishing man. You go out in the middle of nowhere and you just throw out your bait...but you dont really expect anything from it...you know your going to catch some fish eventually but you realize it will take some patience. So you throw out your bait and if you dont get anything you real in and cast out again. Eventually you get a bite but how you handle the situation is key. You always want to real the fish in a little but then leave it some line or it will fight you. Thats what this is about.
The two sticking points I see with you is that perhaps you need to add some more variety to your bait or change your bait. Develope your personality. Come up with some great stories that cast you in a good DHV light and subcommunicate things that will get her interest. Flirt with her lightly...be playful and fun. THIS STUFF HAS TO BE WHO YOU ARE. The reason you have to become this way is because you want her to feel like your doing this stuff because that is WHO YOU ARE...this way when you qualify her and you disqualify and play hard to get and tease her......it will have merrit. She will be left to wonder....does this guy really like me or is he just toying with me? She will think this because you are just being you and she is attracted to who you are....she doesnt think your trying to pick her up or want her. You want her to think your a tease...that you "get it"...that you know how to turn her on and your a ladiesman but you may not be interested in taking it further. Remember that to a guy....the prize is sex....sex to a guy is realing in the fish and getting it in the boat. For a woman the prize is attention....being seen as a sexual being. Dont let her catch your fish until you have her so worked up she is ripping her clothes off for you or stuffing your dick into her vagina because she cant take it anymore. You want to be a tease.
Remember that you subcommunicate with nonverbals and with tone of voice and eye contact ect. Think of a radio dial with 10 notches. When you first meet a woman you just be yourself...(you should be constantly striving everyday to make yourself more intriqueing playful and masculine and internalizing your routines) To the woman you are just you....and you have no real interest in her above and beyond ANY OTHER WOMAN. However you are a flirt and your fun so naturally your going to ignite her attraction mechanism. Your telling stories that subcommunicate that other women find you desirable...that your not an easy catch...that your adventurous...ectect. As you get more interest and involvement from the woman...you slowly turn up that dial...your kino gets more intense....you start to get the doggybowl look after you learn something about her thats cool...and then just as she is thinking "oh yea...now I got his attention" you go and do something that creates a doubt...or you suddenly say "Omg your so full of it....I almost bought that but I know better than to fall for that...nice try" Remember that the best disqualifiers are ones that are natural and blended and work with the conversation...they have relevance. Your frame is that you know she wants your attention and you know that she finds you attractive because your a man but your a man who does not just take anything availuable to him. Your a man with standards...and as she increases her attention and shows you a reason....you may become interested in her as more then just another person....your not sure about her....but she seems nice and she seems interested in you...so you give her a chance...but your kinda skeptical at times....your not too sure about her.
its important to be able to read a woman and feel when she is leaning and when she is creating space. You want to get to the point where your good enough that you lean back right before she does. Usually if your running good attraction game you can get it so she will start to lean in and you know when she has leaned a little more then she is going to feel comfortable with...and you will know that in mere seconds she will lean back...and then you beat her to the bunch with a tease or disqualification right after the peak of her lean. Of course once you move to comfort your dial of interest will be up towards 6 or 7 and you will start giving her your attention and really starting to be won over by her. If she starts to create space then you mirror it or even freeze her out....or perhaps you throw in a neg or a tease like yankin the fishing line just enough so that she knows that she is on a thin line. You want her to feel like she thinks you like her now but that at any moment that could change...there has to be some doubt.