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View Full Version : HB walked away from me after I negged her



galaxy71
05-28-2006, 09:23 PM
I need some analysis of where I went wrong.
I was standing by myself, when out of nowhere this hb7.5 opened me.
She asked "Are you here by yourself"?
I replied "My friends left early". I then asked her if she was here by herself. She then pointed to two of her friends who were talking with each other. I introduced herself. Then things fell apart fast.
I negged her with the line "Your nose wiggles when you talk.". She replied "Does my nose wiggle like this?" I said "Yes". She then said "I have to go". She walked away from me and blew me off!!
My analysis is that I should not have negged her. She opened me which is a major IOI. Since I was alreadly at the social hook point, I should have started trying some DHVing routines. Negging her was inappropriate since she was already interested in talking to me. It seems that negging would have been more appropriate if I had opened a set where the target was initially not predisposed to talking to me.
There was no absolutely no need to feign disinterest in her, since she already had a postive opinion of me when she started talking to me.
P.S. When the set was leaving the bar, one of hb's friends waved goodbye to me. I found that pretty unusual.

Maverick
05-28-2006, 09:31 PM
You didnt have enough rapport built up. You probably could have gotten away with it 3 minutes later. But you learned something ;)
Cheers.
-Maverick

Alpha Electro
05-28-2006, 09:43 PM
My analysis is that I should not have negged her. She opened me which is a major IOI. Since I was alreadly at the social hook point, I should have started trying some DHVing routines. Negging her was inappropriate since she was already interested in talking to me. It seems that negging would have been more appropriate if I had opened a set where the target was initially not predisposed to talking to me.
I agree with your statement above. If she shows IOI's, then you need to REWARD her (some very light and subtle kino is a good reward) instead of 'punishing' her (which was negging her appearance).
Also... she was a 7.5 - I think that was a mistake too. In a few recent threads about negs, people have said to ONLY neg 8.5's and above. Any chick lower than 8.5 is not a good candidate for negging as she already gets enough of that in real life.

Satyre
05-28-2006, 09:57 PM
You didnt have enough rapport built up. You probably could have gotten away with it 3 minutes later. But you learned something ;)
Cheers.
-Maverick
What? This isn't about rapport. Open, neg, false time constraint. That's all in the first minute.
You probably did one of 3 things wrong:
1)You used the neg individually.
*pause*Your nose wiggles when you speak*pause*
Instead of the proper way
her: Yeah I think black nails are..
you: You know your nose wiggles when you speak?
you: Anyway so I'm in this elevator in a 26 story building in LA when the old lady looks over at my nails...
2) You waited for a response instead of stacking
3) You weren't congruent with the neg and it sounded forced/acted.
If you aren't congruent with what you say it doesn't even matter if it's true or not, they won't believe you.
You'll get over this with time in the field though. Don't worry about this one.
You'll have many small mess ups like this.

ware_ru
05-28-2006, 11:04 PM
Also, although possible unrelated... you were responding to her shit tests.

Danny
05-29-2006, 04:44 AM
I honestly think that negs should be reserved for a) Egotistical girls b)Major hot ones 9-10's C)Ones with a strong bitch shield.
Other then that, I see them as unnecessary.

Lucky Luke
05-29-2006, 06:22 AM
I completely disagree, I have negged 7.5's and got away with it without any problems. As Satyre says, is the way you say it, not what you say. You have to be playful, and your neg should come natural, you're making a funny remark, not deliberately making fun of her.
Lucky

Stallion
05-29-2006, 06:33 AM
The neg should not have been used.
Think to WHY you neg?........to show a girl your not trying to hit on them and to show active disinterest.
If the girl open's you, she could be attracted to you and want to get to know you, so why would you then need to show active disinterest in this way?
You can tease them a little and make them work but a neg isn't always needed.
You should alway reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.
But to neg a girl who open's you is punishing good behavior and the girl will blow you out like this.
A neg doesn't have to be used in every set, everytime, play it as it come's.

Danny
05-29-2006, 06:48 AM
I completely disagree, I have negged 7.5's and got away with it without any problems. As Satyre says, is the way you say it, not what you say. You have to be playful, and your neg should come natural, you're making a funny remark, not deliberately making fun of her.
Lucky
Fair enough, and whatever works for you dude, but I believe there has to be a reason to throw a Neg, not just because you think you have to.
In this case, it doesn't seem like there was a good reason to do it.

Legion5
05-29-2006, 07:15 AM
You didn't do anything wrong per say, but you have to undersand flow.
Look, she opened you gave you an IOI, and put herself out on the line.
The FIRST thing out of your mouth was a DLV!!!!
"Hey my friends left early" Why are you not with your friends? Are you Not Cool Enough? Don't you have better things to do than stay around there. Why are your friends IOD'ing you?
In Any situation this is what's up.
-
This means you have little social proof because you are alone, then you are given a perfect oppertunity to DHV. "My friends are right there".
Neato, "Let's go talk to them." I mean this isn't bad, but you DLV'ed and you overshot an oppertunity to get social proof. You are a cool guy, all you need is people, you place yourself around them, they like you, you become cool, and now have a group to better deal with situations. Yay.
-
But you didn't do that, finally after she givs you this IOI, you neg her IOI. This isn't horrible all together, but it's not a bad thing to keep a barrier of seperation between her IOI's and your negs. Mainly so you can promote them. (Hey that's cool you like me)
Let me give you two examples... I think you can already see where this is going.
***
HB: Hi I like you!
PUA: Well I don't know if I like you very much!
HB: Fine I love you!
PUA: Fine I like you for now, what's your favorite non physical feature about yourself?
***
People Match Eachother's feelings, if you are a dick she will be a dick, etc etc, The amount of matching, is the "exchange rate" and this is value, ie being a 9 while she is a 7, just as an example. Emotions do match, the facts or actions around them, are much harder to do so. Actions and to a much lesser extent, facts (espetialy when said in not trying too hard way). are DLV and DHV. These don't match up as easily, but anyway let's move to our next example.
***
HB: Hi I like you!
PUA: I'm a loser!
HB: That's Ok.
PUA: I don't like you.
HB: Bye.
***
-
After she gives you an IOI, You PUNISH her IOI with a Neg (IOD).
I'm sure you'll get better.
I'm also going to note another thing, she even BLATANTLY tried to attract you, the chick gamed you, "does it wiggle like this" "Yes", Neg (I have to go).
Your supposed to grab her by the hand and pretty much make her yours right there.
You're an ALPHA guy right? You DLV'ed up the whazoo there.
and this girl JUST DHV's. Don't you like DHV'ing? Take that DHV'ing woman and have her social proof you RIGHT THERE.
She wouldn't ASK you if it wiggled, if she didn't like you. She wouldn't care, she would just walk off.
-
Look a lot of game is about coolness and value, when we considered value.
You showed, you could get NONE, you HAD NONE, and were affraid of getting some.
-
The game was not done after she walked away. Go back in time, and say "come here (you are cool for now)" then talk to her. Do It. :)

Satyre
05-29-2006, 09:05 PM
You should alway reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.
But to neg a girl who open's you is punishing good behavior and the girl will blow you out like this.

Not always. Sometimes responding to an IOI with an IOD increases value and makes attraction stronger. It's like a step back. This should not be a consistent thing and certainly shouldn't be used in response to the first IOI.

Chucky Cheese
05-30-2006, 04:07 PM
So far the advice is absolutely top notch, but I couldnt help but notice that after how she responded, there is a very real possibility that she may have already heard that "nose wiggling" line before, or had heard of it in relation to pu. Even if you had run tight game she could have been on to you after the neg (which was unessecary anyway). Really this isn't advice, just a random observation.

Zero_Game
05-30-2006, 04:14 PM
negging a girl who already opened to you recieptively establishes negative compliance, you're punishing her for good behavior. Personally I prefer false disqualifiers to negs when a girl is showing interest.
"I think you might be too much of a nice girl for me"

Legion5
05-30-2006, 04:25 PM
Not always. Sometimes responding to an IOI with an IOD increases value and makes attraction stronger. It's like a step back. This should not be a consistent thing and certainly shouldn't be used in response to the first IOI.
Please don't KJ this thread out.
Inconsistency increases responce, this HAS been proven. Keeps them on their feat. but an IOI should ALWAYS be either responded to Neutrally or, Positivity.
Look if you shoot a brick wall and it doesn't move much, (ignores you), you get a bigger gun or give up.
If it gives you a responce (puts delicious muffins on the ground let's say), you like it.
If it, both ignores you, and somehow the effect of the bullets, start to cut your feet up, you are going to run.
Insulting her, slapping her would have been better than a neg.
a Neg is a disqualifier, is she a LOSER for liking a cool guy? Maybe you are low value and she shouldn't worhsip you bro. Maybe that is reality, so you should neg her.

Satyre
05-30-2006, 09:36 PM
Please don't KJ this thread out.

I like how you refer to my opinion as KJ, when you try to disprove it with more theory.:rolleyes:
And I didn't say neg her, i said IOD, by that I meant active disinterest, touching or talking to someone else.

Legion5
05-30-2006, 09:58 PM
I know, but every time I followed an IOI up with a neg, it's bad news. Maybe for you the girl tries harder but for me, perfect example.
Earlier today a girl I had known for a little bit told me she loved me. I called her a nerd, more by accident, and she got mad at me. There was a disconect in our relationship, really until I talked to her again, and told her not to get me wrong that I really did appreciate her appreciation (which I did), and I matched her telling her she was cool and all this.
A neutral feeling would have been better there, but calling her a nerd after she told me she loved me was just a bad idea. Girls really do see actions, as the equivilent of well actions. Saying I like you is on par with a hug.
Interesting stuff, really it is.

Satyre
05-31-2006, 11:21 AM
I know, but every time I followed an IOI up with a neg, it's bad news. Maybe for you the girl tries harder but for me, perfect example.

Again...I didn't say neg.