View Full Version : Why do girls stay in "abusive" relationship??

05-14-2006, 07:15 PM
Its not a thread about jerk vs nice guy or anything related to why jerks get girls, but rather why the hell in world, chicks under 21 especially stay in relationship where they are getting abused (verbal, cheated on, and etc.)
Its not even alpha guys they are staying with, its guys who are total abusive losers... I have two female friends like that, and I know there is alot of girls out there who are like that.
They are not getting ANYTHING from this kind of relationship !!??
What am I missing here? I am totally dont get it ! I understand whole concept of alpha male but I dont understand why abusive relationship when there is no alpa male found at all there?? :eek:

05-14-2006, 07:33 PM
Low self esteem, and / or abusive family life (typically the father.)
They've seen that kind of behavior with their own dad and mom (which is often a model for people's relationships later in life), and think it's normal.
That can be traumatic particularly if the abuse was severe and their mother never effectively stood up to their father or got him to change.
So even when people tell the girl that it is an abusive relationship and that she should leave, and when she logically knows that she should, she doesn't because subconsciously if she can "fix" this guy, it's like she's "fixing" her father.
I've met and even been with girls like that. I ditch those girls because that shit it sick and it's not even a challenge. And keep in mind you can't ditch a girl like that in the way you think, you've got to do some AFC stuff while still not acting like her escape or savior.
It's best not to think about chicks like that anymore than you think about homeless people or crazy people. Just move on.

05-14-2006, 07:38 PM
Women who stay in these type of relationships have very low self esteem. They just don't have the "balls" to brake it off. They convince themselves that those guys actually love them and later somehow they can change this guys. and I thinl, it still goes back to basic premis why women love jerks. However, quility woman with high self esteem who ended up in the abusive relationship, will eventualy leave.

05-14-2006, 07:44 PM
It does click for me now, Ive been thinking same thing, because what happend to me I got one-itis for this one girl I had good time with (no sex but could of)
I just got frustrated with this shit, and said fuck it, I wasnt even LJFB, it pissed me of that she cant deal with her shit.
It does make sense low-selfesteem and trying to change the guy, I have no doubt now in all my thoughts.
P.S. girls are blind, geez.

05-14-2006, 08:15 PM
Girls tend to stay in relationships for self-validation...they have relationships...that makes them "successful".
You'll find a girl will very rarely break off a relationship, even if its abusive, unless she has an immediate alternative. Especially for a hot girl, NOT being in a relationship at any point is a very bad thing.

05-14-2006, 08:30 PM
Have you ever noticed on the show Sex & the City the girls are on a rollercoaster? They're too picky, untill they find a guy that's "hard to get". Women love drama... I don't know too many guys who read the Dallas Star... I could care less if Brittney Spears dropped her kid on it's head today, but I'll bet the girl your standing in the check out line is looking at all the fashion/tabloid mags. Maybe this is a biased example, but I think drama makes for a purposfull life for them.

05-14-2006, 08:42 PM
And thats true too, they love drama, i hate drama, its just weird.... i guess they need some kind of spark to their relationship, its jsut happens to be drama....

Vincent Chase
05-15-2006, 07:12 AM
Women have this fucked up spectrum of what is and isn't alpha, abusive males or males that dominate them in some form are alpha to them, actions speak louder than words I suppose.
I'm going to leave this open but it really should be in "Off-Topic." Another Mod may be less generous, try to make posts here specifically aimed at learning pick-up for -21s.
Cheers and Good Luck.