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cummingpowder
05-11-2006, 09:55 PM
One thing I realized lately is that inaction is still an action. If you sit back and don't make contact with people, it's saying something about yourself. It's saying you're shy and you're a pussy. Or, it can also communicate that you're a cocky bastard who thinks he's too good to talk to other people.
Challenge yourself to take initiative. Do at least one of these things each day until you're always the first to do these things in each social situation. Being the first shows you're confident, which is sexy in any case.
1. When you see friends or acquaintences, reach out and do your "special handshake"/dap or whatever.
2. Straighten your posture and look people in the eye when you walk around. If a girl meets eyes with you, don't turn away until she does. It signals, "Yeah, I know you're there."
3. Be the first to say hi.
4. Talk to the professor. If they pass by, say hello respectfully.

flows102
05-12-2006, 05:18 AM
good thread

Desuora
05-14-2006, 02:53 PM
One thing I realized lately is that inaction is still an action. If you sit back and don't make contact with people, it's saying something about yourself. It's saying you're shy and you're a pussy. Or, it can also communicate that you're a cocky bastard who thinks he's too good to talk to other people.
Challenge yourself to take initiative. Do at least one of these things each day until you're always the first to do these things in each social situation. Being the first shows you're confident, which is sexy in any case.
1. When you see friends or acquaintences, reach out and do your "special handshake"/dap or whatever.
2. Straighten your posture and look people in the eye when you walk around. If a girl meets eyes with you, don't turn away until she does. It signals, "Yeah, I know you're there."
3. Be the first to say hi.
4. Talk to the professor. If they pass by, say hello respectfully.
i used to be insanley shy, after leaving school i lost contact with alot of friends and stopped socialising, i eventually forgot how to and when i did go out id sit there doing nothing
i got put together with a girl a while back, the friend introduced us and then left, i was petrified, i didnt know what to say, when i did say somthing i mumbled, i looked down when i talked
we eventually decided to sit down cause we were just stood there doing nothing, i think she was just the same as me, we both just sat/stood in silence he saw that i was about to die and came and sat in the middle of us and start a convosation going, but as soon as he left it died again
i decided to sit down and pick my own brain and find out what made me shy, one of them was the fear of saying somthing stuipd and being laughed at infront of everybody
it was realising that isnt going to happen and she is just as nervous as i was that eventually made me decided to do somthing about it
(i subsequently found a world i never thought existed, here i am :))
i also found that i tended to wait for things to be "dropped" into my lap, i had a real lack of enthusiasm and self motivation was 0
finding this hidden world gave me the kick i really needed to get myself going
for the shy people, sit down and think long and hard what makes you shy (fear of rejection being one) and laugh at how stupid it is, the girl is not going to point and laugh at you, yes you will be turned away/turned down, but you need to learn to take it as it comes, its inevitable that you will, on your path to mastering being a PUA be rejected, move onto the next one
or if she shuts you out in a hard way like "Yeah.. as if. i dont date ugly guys"
just laugh and say somthing back, that will make her say "what?"
the chances are if its a really hot girl she has done it before, and is used to the guy then going "err.. um .. err.." she immidietly knows she has won, will turn away and leave the guy to walk off
if you say somthing back she will shocked because its not somthing that would normally happen and realise that you are different
then continue with what you were originally saying/going to say
(shutdown thing taken from somthing i read by David DeAngelo)
urk, hadnt planned on posting somthing so long :x but thats what it took for me, sitting down and focusing on what made me shy and fixing it

Onix
05-19-2006, 08:57 AM
Congrats Desuora

TimothyExpress
05-26-2006, 05:35 PM
If there is one place where my game is TIGHT, it is at my school, I am always comfortable and confident

Confidence
05-26-2006, 11:16 PM
Yeah shyness can be a real killer.

Gandalf
05-26-2006, 11:44 PM
finding this hidden world gave me the kick i really needed to get myself going
that's one of the most powerful things about discovering the community. Especiallly if you use it to reframe shyness. When you know what's going on and can dissect a social interaction to see what you fucked up, there's a purpose.
When you realize that rejection isn't a meaningless failure but part of the path to something great, you start to see the point in trying.

abyss
06-23-2006, 02:06 PM
thx desuora for the post, i am a shy person and finding this community really
helps overcoming my shyness. it not only made me stronger but also made
me more confident in myself.

Cape
06-25-2006, 12:12 AM
thx desuora for the post, i am a shy person and finding this community really
helps overcoming my shyness. it not only made me stronger but also made
me more confident in myself.
Remember what mystery said, the fear of the approach comes from the fear that the people will kill you with rocks and tell everyone not to be your friend. :p

Scotty
06-26-2006, 04:36 AM
One thing I realized lately is that inaction is still an action.

That is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Thanks.