PDA

View Full Version : HB10 Flaked & still IOI'ing... What to do??



clearplay
10-06-2009, 03:19 AM
First time someone's ever flaked on me...wow. Here's the scenario as it unfolded. How do I proceed? Any and all help/advice/suggestions are much appreciated.

HB10 and I have hung out twice over the last 2.5 weeks. We're both very busy people... No F close yet but plenty of action right up to that. It's going in the right direction at a pace I like.

Yesterday.
HB10 sends me a long e-mail in the morning about how she has lots to do but really wants to hang out in the evening. I tell her let's plan on hanging out and she says great.

Later in the day (afternoon) HB10 sends me a text about how busy she is and really hopes her things to do don't take too long.

Evening comes and HB10 texts me things aren't going good on her end, her dog is really sick...blah blah...and how she's really sorry and bummed out but "we'll make it happen soon." I couldn't believe it...

Over a half hour later I send HB10 this Text: "Do what you gotta do... I'll stop chillin the wine." This is metaphorical, which I love, as in I'll stop planning on you... Get it? I think she did.

HB10 immediately replies: "Stop it! We'll figure it out soon... :) I know it's been a while since we kissed!" (It's been just over a week)

I didn't reply to that because I have no idea how to proceed with this and from a DHV perspective I think my lack of response is good...I certainly don't want to come across as a whiny bitch.

So that was yesterday. I feel almost as though she should have to work for it now, to get me back to set up our next date, but again she's an HB10 and there isn't exactly a shortage of guys for her...

Thoughts? Comments? Thanks in advance to anyone willing to toss in their 2 cents.

Barbaris
10-06-2009, 09:06 AM
Seems very familiar. I've been in a situation just LIKE THAT! Like 99% similiarity.

But i screwed it up.

I was dating a girl with all sorts of kino - very wild one even, but no F close - she seemed very much attracted and once when we were leaving each other (like 2nd or 3rd date don't remember) - she told me "we gonna make it happen soon", which drive me mad - and i wanted her badly, so that needyness came as a reason for the end of our "almost F close" relationship, which in fact was a "game" of hers and she outplayed me.

That was me. You are better.

First of all, that is not a flake.
This is just a rationalisation for why she couldn't be there with you that evening.
2 reasons:
- She's playing with you (considering the bs response) (HB8-10 like to play with guys on sex) (probability - 70%)
- She really was busy (which is of 30% probability)

What is her "game" all about?
Simple - make you want her by showing off additional interest, making you attached to her and than use it in her favour. Sex is indirectly offered as a bait. She wants you, but always on a distance, you come closer - she's got a sexy reason to run away, she gives you promises and you forgive her right away for that move.

Classic HB10 routine. The fact is - you will not get sex if you continue acting like you do.

I would offer - meeting other girls for a while, but not letting her out completely of your attention.

PS. This is only my perception of the situation, consider it - but don't make it absolute.

CMPitts
10-06-2009, 09:42 AM
Evening comes and HB10 texts me things aren't going good on her end, her dog is really sick...blah blah...and how she's really sorry and bummed out but "we'll make it happen soon." I couldn't believe it...

I would treat this as legit. I don't think you would want to be involved with someone who would lie about her dog being sick just to get out of hanging out with you, ya dig?


Over a half hour later I send HB10 this Text: "Do what you gotta do... I'll stop chillin the wine." This is metaphorical, which I love, as in I'll stop planning on you... Get it? I think she did.

This was a bit of a dick response dude. Don't make her feel guilty just because her dog might be sick. The thing about asshole game is it works, just you tend to feel like a dick a lot of times.


HB10 immediately replies: "Stop it! We'll figure it out soon... I know it's been a while since we kissed!" (It's been just over a week)

Blatant interest. She wants to play hide the pickle.

Wait until the day after tomorrow to reinitiate convo on your end. Ask her to hang out again. Tell her she owes you for standing you up. Make it fun and playful. She's still interested. Good luck.

dann82
10-06-2009, 11:29 AM
Agree with Pitts.

Don't make it a big deal. Like "tonight's the BIG NIGHT" is a BAD idea. And remember to have your own life and not be available 24/7.

FlyTrap
10-06-2009, 11:51 AM
I agree with Pitts too. SHe is interested, but the story about the dog being sick may or may not be true.

When a chick blows me off (legit or semi-legit) I usually playfully bust her on it then tell her its no big deal, and let her know I have other options, while cutting communication for the rest of the night all in one fell swoop. SOund complicated? Its not really. Here is a text I may send in that situation:

You are SO FIRED! Nah, its cool, my buds were up my butt to come to X-place. Try and catch up with me tomorrow

Boom.

clearplay
10-06-2009, 11:57 AM
Excellent. Really appreciate the insight and advice! And by the way, unless HB10 is really into developing subplots for flaking (highly unlikely, she's not that smart), she had mentioned to me her dog was developing a problem the day/night prior...so it may in fact be legitimate and not a flake.

Barbaris - Thanks for the compliment. I tend to agree with you this may not be a flake. I also agree with you that she seems to be playing a bit of a game with sex as bait. Make no mistake I'm not quick to forgive her of anything though. I've been pretty good about drawing lines of what's acceptable and not. Sometimes she comes at me with "I'm looking forward to seeing you again, if you're still into me?" Which is either her (1) approval seeking or (2) baiting me... hard to tell which. I often reply to things like that with a, "Haha shut up nerd :) I'm into you like you're into me." Probably too nice...whatever, it's worked. Lastly, I agree with you on meeting other girls, and I'd also like to keep the momentum with HB10 if you know what I mean. Time kills all deals...

CMPitts - You are a ROCK STAR. Let's talk about the "bit of a dick response." You can really help me out on this. I know...I know...I kind of was, but here's the deal: I'm trying to play a balance of Asshole Game and regular game because I found out from her the most meaningful relationship in her life was with a dude who was a bit of an asshole himself. She goes for that. Like you said, asshole game works and I want to know what I should be doing/saying... It's fun so help me out on this. I've succeeded in having her text me before Date#2 "You're an ass!" which made me smile and then it wasn't any mistery Date#2 ended up being phenomenal on many levels. I'm pretty damn good to her in a cocky funny way most of the time, but it's just great when I can place that perfect playful stab that makes her laugh and call me an ass at the same time.

dan82 - Thanks for the advice. Like I mentioned in the original post: "HB10 and I have hung out twice over the last 2.5 weeks. We're both very busy people..." Make no mistake, my life and business has me back-to-back busy all day and often nights as well, so she knows it's not a fake perception.

I'd highly value any additional insight. CMPitts I really appreciate your advice on waiting until two full days after this last exchange until I reinitiate convo...barring her stirring it up before then. I'd bet we hang out by this weekend, and if we don't get together by the time this weekend has came and went I'm probably going to either (1) NEXT her or (2) just remove all effort on my end from trying to make it happen.

clearplay
10-06-2009, 12:00 PM
FlyTrap - You're definitely on varsity...I never see any JV posts from you. Thanks for this awesome advice. You might be able to offer some good asshole game advice/examples to me on this HB10 as well...

Considering that I did not reply to her last text where she said "Stop it!....etc" How do you recommend I pick this one back up? CMPitts had some great advice about waiting 2 full days then reinitiate to lock down the next date. Your thoughts?

FlyTrap
10-06-2009, 12:11 PM
I would send her something playful just to reinitiate convo. Get a couple texts going back and forth and CALL HER. Talk to her on the phone, and excuse yourself from that convo before it dies

Something standard, like

Hey brat, what kind of trouble are you causing

I use that one a LOT

or you can reopen with the skittles V MnMs text which always gets them giggling

in case you dont know it it goes like this

Hey! Im trying to lure pretty women back to my house with candy where I can take advantage of them...do you like skittles or MnMs?

Or, depending on your frame, you can go supermegaoverthetopwicked with something like:

Hey slut when are you going to come over to my place so I can get you drunk and blow a load all over your face

(be careful with this one... seriously... it either works or you crash and burn. I have used it on dying sets and gotten ass. I have used it on good sets and lost them. It certainly has an effect...but you have to be sure when to use it)

Phateless
10-06-2009, 01:44 PM
I agree with the others, you're worrying about this more than you need to. She's obviously still interested, and by mentioning it being a week since you kissed, she's outright telling you she misses you.

Just remember - reward an IOI with an IOI back, as long as you keep the frame.

"Hey girlie, I know you miss me, but I understand that you gotta take care of business. I like independent women. ;) So how are you gonna make it up me?" <--- ioi her back and continue to qualify, as well as maintaining frame.

I think you're doing just fine bro. Trust your INSTINCTS, not your FEAR. ;)

clearplay
10-06-2009, 08:36 PM
I had sent a private message about this asking for advice and also wanted to update this Thread for all of you and put it out there for anyone with experience to toss in their $0.02. Here's a little cut and paste from said update:

Long story short: HB10 called me this evening on her way home and I firmed up plans for us later this week where where is no room to flake. Mission accomplished. What I'm now encountering is something totally new to me. She says this all the time to me before we go out (prior to Date 1, prior to Date 2, and now she's doing it again prior to Date 3):

HB10: "We're totally making out and stuff but we're not having sex. I just want to put that out there so you know." And she'll say this out of the blue, and she's said this several times now... She'll say things like, "That's why I don't like going over to guys houses because it just leads to sex. So I want you to know we're not doing that." I respond with a, "Hey it's ok, don't worry about it. I wouldn't do that yet even if you tried to get me to." ?

How do you guys read into this and how do you recommend or suggest I proceed? Perhaps you've encountered this before. Date 3 is on the calendar...what's a pro PUA to do?

Phateless
10-07-2009, 07:34 AM
I had sent a private message about this asking for advice and also wanted to update this Thread for all of you and put it out there for anyone with experience to toss in their $0.02. Here's a little cut and paste from said update:

Long story short: HB10 called me this evening on her way home and I firmed up plans for us later this week where where is no room to flake. Mission accomplished. What I'm now encountering is something totally new to me. She says this all the time to me before we go out (prior to Date 1, prior to Date 2, and now she's doing it again prior to Date 3):

HB10: "We're totally making out and stuff but we're not having sex. I just want to put that out there so you know." And she'll say this out of the blue, and she's said this several times now... She'll say things like, "That's why I don't like going over to guys houses because it just leads to sex. So I want you to know we're not doing that." I respond with a, "Hey it's ok, don't worry about it. I wouldn't do that yet even if you tried to get me to." ?

How do you guys read into this and how do you recommend or suggest I proceed? Perhaps you've encountered this before. Date 3 is on the calendar...what's a pro PUA to do?

I think you handled it well, just easing the pressure. To me, it sounds like she really likes you and is worried you'll just fuck her and dump her. Or perhaps she wants to have sex with you and is reminding herself not to? Sounds like she's been burned and is a bit on the defensive.

It seems like you have attraction taken care of well. Keep the attraction high and build comfort, qualify her well so she knows that you value her for more than just her looks. She's probably just trying to make sure you'll stick around before she sleeps with you.

Btw, are you sure she's not one of these bible-thumping, wait for marriage kinda girls? Heh, cuz that would suck, lol.

You could always try to play with her, "lol, you're so obsessed with sex. I'm more just a rock-hard body you know. I have FEELINGS." said with total joking.

Or you could even go the other direction and echo/validate/reassure, "I can tell you've been hurt before, and I understand how guys would want to use you for your looks. But I'm not like other guys, because I know that pretty girls are everywhere. It takes more than looks to impress me, and what I love about you is (insert unique compliment here), etc."

You see where I'm going with this? This is a tricky one and I don't want to push you one way or the other because your instincts have been steering you right so far, and I don't want to mess with that. Just keep doing what you're doing, and don't let her feel like "just another girl you fucked" and I think you'll be just fine.

FlyTrap
10-07-2009, 11:27 AM
Oh hell... I forgot to tell you.. you have to run some LMR smash gambits over the course of the night.

There is a great routine that Mystery laid out about going to the grocery store and the chick jumping into his head and him asking himself what she would want for dinner or something like that. I think it had something to do with pomegranites.

I forget the routine, but the basis of the routine goes like this:

You want to let her know that you were thinking about her. YOu have to tie something in about your family

then you have to hit her with the punchline, and hard, then Kiss her, not a makeout, a kiss - without it seeming like a routine or scripted.

If you pull it off right, the LMR gets crushed. then do all that kino sexual energy building stuff you know to do.

here is mine:

OH! Something really really strange happened to me yesterday, and I had to tell you about it. I was at the grocery store picking up some stuff to make spaghetti sauce. My grandmother gave me her recipe, its like 200 years old from Sicily. A real family recipe, and it rocks! Maybe I will make it for you sometime... but you have to ask really nicely ;) anyways, I was going down the aisle picking up stuff for that, and I got to the pasta. I was looking at the pasta and I started thinking "what kind of pasta would X-girl like? does she like angel hair? Ziti? what does she like? And I realized what I was doing.. and had to snap myself out of it. But later I got to thinking... why was I doing that? I mean... ugh, you are such a brat!

(punchline - look into her eyes)

You have officially hijacked my brain. (then back off, and playfully:) you suck!

what am I going to do with you?

lean in for a lip kiss, slowly, but dont make out. look in her eyes on the way in, make her feel special, hold her hand, all that.


Im telling you, this is KILLER. Absolutely KILLER. SHe will feel like she always wants to around a guy. If delivered the right way.

After that you have to have something else planned. Dont wallow in that, you have to take it away from her. Always thinking one step ahead. Let her feel that feeling for about 15-30 seconds, then snap her out of that state. Clap your hands together and say, ok enough of that, lets get another drink. or something like that.

Get her out of that state though. you cant let her stay there, or you wont be able to build sexual energy and thats what you want.

Phateless
10-07-2009, 12:11 PM
Oh hell... I forgot to tell you.. you have to run some LMR smash gambits over the course of the night.

There is a great routine that Mystery laid out about going to the grocery store and the chick jumping into his head and him asking himself what she would want for dinner or something like that. I think it had something to do with pomegranites.

I forget the routine, but the basis of the routine goes like this:

You want to let her know that you were thinking about her. YOu have to tie something in about your family

then you have to hit her with the punchline, and hard, then Kiss her, not a makeout, a kiss - without it seeming like a routine or scripted.

If you pull it off right, the LMR gets crushed. then do all that kino sexual energy building stuff you know to do.

here is mine:

OH! Something really really strange happened to me yesterday, and I had to tell you about it. I was at the grocery store picking up some stuff to make spaghetti sauce. My grandmother gave me her recipe, its like 200 years old from Sicily. A real family recipe, and it rocks! Maybe I will make it for you sometime... but you have to ask really nicely ;) anyways, I was going down the aisle picking up stuff for that, and I got to the pasta. I was looking at the pasta and I started thinking "what kind of pasta would X-girl like? does she like angel hair? Ziti? what does she like? And I realized what I was doing.. and had to snap myself out of it. But later I got to thinking... why was I doing that? I mean... ugh, you are such a brat!

(punchline - look into her eyes)

You have officially hijacked my brain. (then back off, and playfully:) you suck!

what am I going to do with you?

lean in for a lip kiss, slowly, but dont make out. look in her eyes on the way in, make her feel special, hold her hand, all that.


Im telling you, this is KILLER. Absolutely KILLER. SHe will feel like she always wants to around a guy. If delivered the right way.

After that you have to have something else planned. Dont wallow in that, you have to take it away from her. Always thinking one step ahead. Let her feel that feeling for about 15-30 seconds, then snap her out of that state. Clap your hands together and say, ok enough of that, lets get another drink. or something like that.

Get her out of that state though. you cant let her stay there, or you wont be able to build sexual energy and thats what you want.

wow... that's good. I just realized that I accidentally did stuff like this with this one girl all the time, but I never pulled the trigger. I can now see exactly what was going on.

I would always say, "OK, OK, enough mushy stuff. Punk. :)"

She ate it up.

surffreak
10-07-2009, 02:47 PM
HB10: "We're totally making out and stuff but we're not having sex. I just want to put that out there so you know." And she'll say this out of the blue, and she's said this several times now... She'll say things like, "That's why I don't like going over to guys houses because it just leads to sex. So I want you to know we're not doing that."

Girl tells me where not having sex i have 2 options to respond.

1) Woah, who said anything about sex? you have a dirty mind. maybe later down the road and ill see what that leads too. But you are thinking way to far ahead.


next one works all the time

2) I tell the hb. "Listen im not going to have sex with you, i never have sex early on, so dont get any ideas.(smile)"

Now what happens is the girl thinks about this after a while and will keep trying to tease you with some foreplay and push you to break an call your bluff.

Dont give in. And just tease her back fingering etc. Keep playing this game but dont even try to have sex with her. Just keep reminding when your foreplaying that you wont have sex with her this early. Now with the foreplay shes going to get soo horny and basically tell you that she wants to fuck after a while. Then thats when you say this can be the exception. And just fuck her.

Btw dont be afraid to loose 10's because in 10 game. You lose alot of them so just look at her as any other girl.

also you seem like your getting aggressive. just slow it down a little so your not pushing too much on her. If you slow it down more then she pushes things more

clearplay
10-07-2009, 03:10 PM
This is truly excellent stuff! Thank you gentlemen :) I'm going to read your responses and replies a few more times and we'll see how it goes...

clearplay
10-09-2009, 11:28 AM
I'm grateful to have several of you experienced with HB10's really cheering me on with this one, so here’s the breakdown of how Date #3 went. A lot of guys fabricate and make shit up for validation here in the community – I’m not gonna to do that. By the way, Phateless, she is definitely not a bible thumper – good possible observation tho – I know for a fact she’s been with about 7 guys in her life. Here’s the straight no-bullshit way things went down on Date #3. I’m eager for feedback, comments, gripes, moans… :)

She drives down to my place (I’m leading and make her come to me…a good 45min drive…that way I figure she’s got some skin in the game). I maintain a very leading frame the whole way tonight (Thanks FlyTrap!). When she gets here I show her around, get her comfortable, then I skip kino escalation and take her in my arms and kiss her passionately (she had texted previously she missed kissing me, so I knew this would be welcomed)…she kissed me back with equal passion, then after about 30seconds of face time I pull away (FREEZE OUT #1) and say “I’m fuckin starved, let’s go grab a bite!” There’s a ton of nice shops and restaurants in my neighborhood, so we walk a block down to a great place. Grab drinks, food, hit up another place for drinks. Banter, convo, and kino escalation are going perfectly. Then I transitioned to comfort and got to know more about her and her life. Over the last 2 weeks I’ve been playing the “you hijacked my brain!” bit perfectly, and I made another plug at it here…so she knows I think of her, which is of comfort. She shared so much with me about herself…I think comfort is pretty solid now. So at this point we’re not drunk, but definitely buzzed. I take her by the hand and say let’s get out of here. We both know we’re headed back to my place and she seems eager enough…

During the walk back I’m working on comfort, kino, and escalation game. All going well. I’d hold her hand, then when I’d get to a great point in convo I’d toss her hand away and use my hands to talk (I think of this as mini-freeze outs in kino)…then take her hand back (she would grab it tighter with each iteration of this). We get back to my place a few short minutes later.

When we get inside she says she’s going to use the bathroom and will be right out. In my experience this is a good sign, usually HB’s are “getting ready” or whatever it is they do for the action they know is coming… I’ve never had a girl do this and then things not go very well. Well, ‘guess there’s always an exception…right?

While she’s in the bathroom I light a couple candles, put on some music, so when she walks out the room has the ambiance desired. She’s happy, we move to my huge couch, make some highly flirtatious convo. I’m laying on my back and take her by the hands to pull her on top of me (Thanks dann82!) and we start making out and so on. Things get interesting…

I’m kissing on her mouth, neck, bust…she is so into it. She’s grinding on me hard, extremely sexually suggestive. She goes for my neck, collar, her hands are all over my chest, abs, back… After about 15mins of this I lay her on her back and pull away (FREEZE OUT) and say happily, “I could go for a glass of wine, want anything?" She totally did not expect this. She declined and said she had to drive later and didn’t want anything. I go into the kitchen…uncork a fresh bottle…pour myself a glass, swirl it, sip it, walk slowly back over to her set it down and then join her again on the couch.

After about 15minutes or so and getting back to where we were, I slip my hand under her bra and am feeling her DD breasts…she’s enjoying it…but then when I put my hands behind her back and swiftly unclasp her bra she squirms and is uncomfortable with it. I am thinking (wtf?) but I maintain my frame and composure. We make out a bit more but she’s not letting me access to her now-unrestrained DD’s I was just feeling a minute prior. She pulls away from me and actually puts her bra back on! And then gets back to making out and feeling me up (totally contradictory signals here). What’s in the back of my mind? --> What you guys have been telling me – this girl is actually totally attracted to me, and not in a flingy or simply dating kind of sense – like LTR type of sense! She also just came out of a multi-year relationship... Let’s see what you guys think.

During the course of going at it again she then tells me she’s turning me on too much. I laugh and say, “what do you mean? I’m seriously not hard right now…you can feel and check if you don’t believe me” She then says, “Okay well maybe you’re turning me on too much…” She then commented about how much she loves my place, how it’d be nice to wake up here and see the sunrise one day…we continue on.

After about 30mins (she is humping the shit out of me, feeling my body with her hands but not below the belt, and I’m squeezing her breasts and kissing all over that area…I have my hands down the back of her pants all over her ass…etc) So I’ve got every indication we’re moving forward and unclasp her bra again. Why not? Again, she squirms and pulls back and puts it back on. I have NEVER had this happen before – ever. She’s still totally into me at this point but also tells me that she wants to go slow, that way it will last. She says that she wants to be the only girl I think about when she’s not around (I’ve done a 5-star job of the “you hijacked my brain” over the last 2 weeks…that should not be an issue at this point). And she also says that she likes being in control and that I’m moving a little too fast.

At this point I laugh (this lightens her mood with her) and say “Babe what makes you think I’M going to put out? I’m still totally unconvinced you’d call me the next day.” She laughed and liked that I said this (Thank you FlyTrap!) So I FREEZE OUT again, pulling away and say “hey baby I never meant to make you uncomfortable, maybe you should go...” She says flirtatiously/half-serious/half-laughing, “What you’re kicking me out now!?” and I smiled and said, “Well...if I’m making you uncomfortable…?” my delivery of this is perfect and I look directly at her sexually… She then reengages me (not the other way around) and we go at it for about another 30minutes. At this point I decided I'm done trying to get into her pants for the night. It would seem she really likes me in a possible LTR way. Did I have any other course of action at this point? Seemed like the rest of the night was kind of a foregone conclusion...

After she left I initiated the following txt exchange, which I feel pretty solid about:

Me: Hope you got home safe. I won’t let anyone take advantage of me too much at my party…I’ll be thinking of you to much to let them slap my ass lol :) ‘night buttface. Sleep well.

HB10: Still not home. Got lost then construction on freeway…thanks for tonight.

Me: Oh shit…I’m sorry your drive’s takin forever damn! Well let’s try to do this on a non-school night sometime (joke between us, we’re not in school but obviously work during the week) & maybe catch some daylight u vampire :P

HB10: Will do thanks again for tonight have a safe weekend! I had fun u just r moving too fast for me. I like to be in control and I’m not ready to do that yet! night.

Me: No worries babe, it’s totally okay. We’re taking things slow and that’s cool…probably best for us both :) Hope you have a great wknd, we’ll hang out again soon!

-----
Then this morning I got a nice email from her, a good 2 paragraphs just saying have fun this weekend, don’t cause too much trouble, and “remember you will be thinking about me every time you talk to a girl now! LOL”

So…like this thread started…HB10 is totally IOI’ing all over the place, but I seem to be encountering some roadblocks despite what I feel really is a solid game I’m running. On the bright side, HB10 is proving to be an incredible learning experience for me…I’m gaining a ton of knowledge from all of the insight and advice you guys have been kind enough to offer.

Alright now be blunt, be honest, and don’t worry about hurting my feelings – What are thoughts/opinions/suggestions after reading this?

savvi
10-09-2009, 12:21 PM
Treat it as if its the truth say its cool, convey to her that you have loads of other shit you can do anyway in a subtle way and finally text her

" i wont pas judgement until i see how you are going to make it up to me" end it with a wink and hopefully you'll get sex or at least a free dinner out of her then ignore her until she makes a big effort to get you back a freeze out remember if you act like your the prize then she will think you are the prize high status high value guys dont give a fuck they have that much intrgrity and are that popular they can always find something cool to do instead

next time you see her have an awsome dhv story ready that yyou done instead of hanging with her

savvi

clearplay
10-09-2009, 12:31 PM
Thanks savvi. I was also thinking about the next time we hang out (should be within the next week)...obviously she loves making out and all of that...but What if on our next date I completely hold myself back from making any physical/kino escalation with her at all...what if we do a whole fun date and I just end it with some kissing and a goodbye. What kind of effect would this have? Bad idea? Just wanted to toss it out there and put it on the table... I'm going to work on some other HB's this weekend until I get some feedback and perspective here on ideas about the 10.

p.s. She knows I'm going to be at some big parties this weekend (that's why she put in her e-mail “remember you will be thinking about me every time you talk to a girl now! LOL” ) Is there any DHV kind of txt I might send her over the weekend that would have a desirable effect? She knows I'm dating other girls...just trying to figure out how to get this HB10 to chase me harder, and I do a ton of push/pull with her so she's a tough nut to crack...

Thanks mates!

Phateless
10-09-2009, 03:00 PM
Thanks savvi. I was also thinking about the next time we hang out (should be within the next week)...obviously she loves making out and all of that...but What if on our next date I completely hold myself back from making any physical/kino escalation with her at all...what if we do a whole fun date and I just end it with some kissing and a goodbye. What kind of effect would this have? Bad idea? Just wanted to toss it out there and put it on the table... I'm going to work on some other HB's this weekend until I get some feedback and perspective here on ideas about the 10.

p.s. She knows I'm going to be at some big parties this weekend (that's why she put in her e-mail “remember you will be thinking about me every time you talk to a girl now! LOL” ) Is there any DHV kind of txt I might send her over the weekend that would have a desirable effect? She knows I'm dating other girls...just trying to figure out how to get this HB10 to chase me harder, and I do a ton of push/pull with her so she's a tough nut to crack...

Thanks mates!

I say BAD IDEA. This chick obviously has her guard up already, and that's what's preventing her from moving forward. Making her insecure or confused will probably backfire and cause her to pull back more, adding fuel to the fire of her paranoia and fear of getting fucked over AGAIN.

Now that's not to say that a less physical date would be a bad thing, I'm just saying don't hold back artificially. Maybe just like you said, something fun where you play it cool and the physical stuff is less of an issue so it relieves some of the pressure she might be feeling from last time. That would be good. There would still be making out and holding hands and being physical, but you wouldn't be pushing it so she'd start to think about how much she wishes you would push it next time.

She hasn't pulled any psycho crap, she's not playing games, she's just taking it slow and trying to be clear about her limits and comfort levels. She is being a bit clingy and insecure by telling you to stay away from other girls already, but beyond that she's not setting off my psycho-radar just yet. You may want to start thinking about where you're going to draw limits with her, as she'll probably want a lot of attention down the line.

Congrats, I think you found one that's NOT CRAZY! If you could tell me where to find one of those I would be much obliged.

As long as you're ok with an exclusive relationship with her (obviously what she wants) you can just keep doing what you're doing and it'll happen when she's ready. If you want a casual fwb thing with no commitment, that might be more tricky.

ambivalent
10-09-2009, 06:09 PM
If she flakes, her IOIs are prob fake like she is. I would get at other girls and not over invest. It sounds like she just doesn't want to give it up right away without a fight. Overall, it sounds like things are going pretty well man. Cheers!


Girl tells me where not having sex i have 2 options to respond.

1) Woah, who said anything about sex? you have a dirty mind. maybe later down the road and ill see what that leads too. But you are thinking way to far ahead.


next one works all the time

2) I tell the hb. "Listen im not going to have sex with you, i never have sex early on, so dont get any ideas.(smile)"

Now what happens is the girl thinks about this after a while and will keep trying to tease you with some foreplay and push you to break an call your bluff.

Dont give in. And just tease her back fingering etc. Keep playing this game but dont even try to have sex with her. Just keep reminding when your foreplaying that you wont have sex with her this early. Now with the foreplay shes going to get soo horny and basically tell you that she wants to fuck after a while. Then thats when you say this can be the exception. And just fuck her.

Btw dont be afraid to loose 10's because in 10 game. You lose alot of them so just look at her as any other girl.

also you seem like your getting aggressive. just slow it down a little so your not pushing too much on her. If you slow it down more then she pushes things more

good advise. Yeah I will say, it does sound like you are trying to fast play it man. Slow it down. I mean, she hangs out and doesn't want to get burned. Get her investing in this as much as possible. Continue the freeze outs when necessary, tease her constantly, hold one sec, cold the next, & disappear. LIke, when you freeze her out, going to grab food with her is more or less rewarding her undesireable behavior. Make yourself a sandwhich. CHeck your hotmail account for emails on your phone using your data plan. Be willing to lose this girl man. She is a 10 but, that doesn't make her special. get her to qualify herself to you. Get her wondering if you are really into her or if you just want to hit it and bounce. Overall man, it sounds pretty good. Keep at other girls though. Don't over invest in one woman. Its like putting your savings all in one stock. Much like stocks, women are up and down. Keep going.

clearplay
10-10-2009, 03:03 PM
I really like what you guys are saying. Since I'm open to a LTR it's not all that bad this thing seems to be heading in that direction. Even if that's not what I was planning on...

Nonetheless, I'm still highly interested in how I can improve my game (to get results!) for both Date #4 and interactions I have with HB10 between now and then.

ragmancum
10-11-2009, 09:59 PM
Omg...I have been in pretty much the same spot and now I kinda am a little obsessed about this girl - I think about her atlest 2-3 times a day

She lead me on - she was giving crazy IOI's
Maybe she was genuinely interested in me -
One day, I didn't do anything when I had a chance to atlest get a make-out
Later, she came and told me that she was engaged to some guy - even though she was single all the time previously

Now, I don't know how to get her back - she still gives me IOI's and her body language still shows attraction

But, could that could be the result of creating massive amounts of attraction :)

Idk how to proceed right now:
I thought that I didn't qualify enough
Or should I neg her and use some c/f stuff

All her body language and reactions shows me that she is attracted to me...but it is not going anywhere
I don't even have the nerve to go asking her to hang out because she flaked on me before but she was still attracted - I have become an AFC with her

Women are so good at this game than men are!

Anyway, back to your story
1. She is interested in you - but testing you too much
2. She could also be trying to suck her into your frame and see what you are
3. She has that logical mind overpowering the emotional state of mind - she knows that if she comes over, (its gonna be awkward from the past and you have to bear thru it), you guys might make out and sex might happen

This is the reason why I find that women have sex when they are drunk and they become the guy becomes their boyfriend - they make the choice during the emotion of the moment and then backwards rationalize it to being the boyfriend - just to not appear like a slut

So the moral of the story is, strike when the iron is hot!

If she is coming over, then she is attracted to you

Watch out bro, she is still playing atleast some form of game!!!! So, be prepared for anything!! That is my advice!!


In the meantime, go meet some other girls
One of the best things you can do is to demonstrate some preselection and show that you don't actually need her!

Phone game advice, you make plans and you flake on her - tell her that you are kinda seeing someone
Keep running good phone game but don't ask her to hang out - just be flirting with her for a bit - maybe until she tries to make plans??