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djcharlierich
07-21-2009, 12:39 PM
Plz, expert advice needed!

A quick background: I met this chick a few weeks ago and we have gone out twice. The first time we went out was positive but very short. The second time we went out friends came along and we had a great vibe going, lots of touching, even holding hands while talking, but in the end nothing happened because it was inappropriate for us to go make out in front of all her friends.

A few things that confuse me about this chick: She rarely initiates texts, and is inconsistent at best in returning texts, never calls, never returns calls, yet usually does a pretty good job of answering the phone.

As it stands, nothing concrete has happened with this girl and all this leaves me confused as to where exactly I stand with this girl. I am scared of falling into the friend zone. Most unfortunately, I am sure that something would have happened the second time we went out if it had been just us two. We did not get to go out last weekend due to scheduling conflcts at work which made me feel as though I lost valuable emotional momentum. Due to this, I started to feel as though I might lose the girl, and it will be reflected towards the end of the text stream as I started getting very straightforward.

Please gents, tell me ur opinion on where I should go next. Text convo follows, explanations in paretnesis when necessary:

Thursday
Me: Hey u! I know the weekend may start for some of us today, but plz remember not to spend all ur money so that u can pay off ur debts from last saturday! (Call-back from routine the 2nd time we went out)

HB: Lol! I think we're even. If anything you owe me! : p

Me: Honestly, we both know thats not true...i almost needed a bodyguard the other night! Look, I'll give u a chance to pay up...wanna see a movie tonite?

HB: Oh kind of u but i cant tonight...meeting up with a friend's get together.

Me: Well, have fun then! (I was dissapointed, but didnt show it at all.)

HB: Thanks...Raincheck? : )

Me: I have always been a softie for beautiful and intelligent women asking me out. Sounds good : )

HB: haha ok marshmallow well set something up

Me: Alright cupcake, when r u free?

HB: Hmmmm tomorrow?

Me: I am working until late tomorrow...like midnight : ( Maybe another time! We'll see...

HB: Ok let me know

This wasnt bad. I find it positive that she wanted to go out the next day. Unfortunately my work schedule wouldnt allow it.

Friday

Me: Stop thinking about me! Im tingling = ) (I just wanted to tell her hello)

HB: You caught me! : p

Sunday

HB: Hello sunshine! Lol Hope youre out enjoying this beautiful sunny Sunday : ) (I was very surprised by this msg. It is one of the very few times she has initiated a text stream.)

Me: Hey, back at ya! How did ur beautiful, sunny Sunday go? Save any lives today? ( I wrote back 7 hours later. She did not write back which I did not like. I thought she was playing games with me since it took me so long to write back)

Monday
Me: Hey u! Working hard or hardly working? (No reply from her.)

Me: On behalf of all the turtles in the everglades, i would like to say thank youfor doing an oustanding job today. So...thank you! (Its gay, I know, but shes a biologist at the everglades and I was just trying to illicit a response.)

HB: : D (Got a response. Was dissapointed that this was all I got. About 20 minutes later, I called...got the answering machine.)

Today

HB: Hi Charlie. Sorry I havent returned your call. I lost my voice Sunday night : p Still cant talk. Hope u have anice day : ) (I felt glad that she initiated the text and she gave a reason for not responding. As it turns out, shw was sick in bed. I didnt know if I should text back at all today. I felt that texting back same day would make me too obvious. If she likes me, she'll wonder why I havent responded, right? Well in the end, I decided to text back anyways.)

Me: Hey Leslie, no problem. Karma's a mofo though, eh? Hope u feel better soon!

HB: Karma? Sure start worrying about what u got coming : p

Me: What, 100K a year? Ok, im waiting : ) Not toomuch longer tho. At least I never hijacked anyone's chopstix! (Call-back to last time we went out.)

HB: Whatever u left them behind...And I dont have them! (She sounded a little put-off here so I decided to change the subject. Also, I felt like I was done playing games here. I want to know whats going on...so here is where my more straightforward approach begins...in error?)

Me: Hey I have a confession to make

HB: : / OK

Me: 1. I like house music 2. I wanna see you this weekend. Are we hanging out or what? (The first is due to a previous conversation)

HB: Ha ha not sure I have a work thing on sat for my boss's Bday and fri its girls night out (Here, I felt like I was beginning to see this turn into flake material, so next I decided to go for the touchdown or just lose the game.)

Me: I turn 29 on Thursday. If ur not the first girl I kiss in my 29th year, Im going to be supremely dissapointed.

HB: Ha ha thats right! What are you up to on the big 29 day? (She totally avoids the kiss remark???)

Me: Nothing special...working til 10 or 11 and ill prolly go out after that...care to join me for a drink?

HB:Ill let u know im sick home from work : ( (Okay, this may be true. Not a complete shutdown but still...)

Me: Ya, lemme know Boo Boo. If u need a back rub gimme a call, as long as ur not contagious! haha In any case, i hope u feel better soon : )


CONCLUSION
So this is where we are at. Plz gents, is this a flake? Am I panicking too much? Did I go for the touchdown unnecessarily? And why did she totally avoid the kiss remark? I was hoping she would either confirm or deny and then I could move on with my life. Either way, I must admit I like her, and because of this I feel as though every time she doesnt respond or every time she tells me she has other plans, its beacuse of something I did wrong or its an opportunity for me to lose her. I have a date tonight and another tomorrow afternoon...no shit...but I dont care about those I like this girl. Overthinking? IDK Advice plz. What to do now, back off for awhile???

Crooked
07-21-2009, 04:11 PM
The fact that she's re-engaging your text at all leads me to believe she's into you. The fact that you've gone so long with just text message contact seems like a negative to me... Eventually you want to move past text tag to some phone conversations.

Next time your free whether it's a weekday or whatever you need to try and get this girl out to escalate. If you don't escalate your connection with her will begin to fade.

djcharlierich
07-21-2009, 04:37 PM
Thanx for the reply Phillippe. Just to reiterate what was said in the post, we have gone out twice. The first time was very short and I didnt feel enough comfort had been built to make a move. The second time there was lots of kino, and a great vibe going. Im sure something would have happened had we not been with her friends. Unfortunately, it didnt happen.

Now, I have asked her to go out twice. Last weekend our schedules didnt match up, and this weekend she appears to be busy. I am indeed scared (for lack of a better term) to lose the attraction that has been already built, which is why I escalated the level of my texts towards the end.

Pimpology
07-25-2009, 03:31 AM
Thanx for the reply Phillippe. Just to reiterate what was said in the post, we have gone out twice. The first time was very short and I didnt feel enough comfort had been built to make a move. The second time there was lots of kino, and a great vibe going. Im sure something would have happened had we not been with her friends. Unfortunately, it didnt happen.

Now, I have asked her to go out twice. Last weekend our schedules didnt match up, and this weekend she appears to be busy. I am indeed scared (for lack of a better term) to lose the attraction that has been already built, which is why I escalated the level of my texts towards the end.

I'm new to the whole thing but if I was you, I would build comfort on the phone, build up the attraction through conversation. Then if she really is "busy" she will more then likely not be anymore. I f**ked up in a similar way one time. thats why i devoted my life to this stuff.

JaggedG
07-26-2009, 01:18 PM
Kay, I'm going to try to address a few things in the order I noticed them really quickly:
-Friend zone: If you've got kino going, do not worry about the friends zone. But Phillippe is right-- if you don't see her in person soon, the kino from the week(s) before will start to not matter and nothing will happen. A band-aid for not being able to see her is sexualizing your txts/phone calls. You did that with the kiss remark, good work.

-Rarely initiates, inconsistently returns, etc etc... Suggests flake material. From what I read, she doesn't sound as bad as you make her sound, but still a tangible risk. She seems to be initiating quite a bit. But from what you said, sounds like she's a ticking flake-bomb. Be proactive against that.

-You said more would have happened if it was just the two of you. For sure. But next time, do kiss her anyway. On the cheek, you can do that right in front of her friends. On the lips, maybe not as easy to get away with, but you can do it. If not in front of her friends, find or create the opportunity somewhere else. It's not as hard as you think.

-The first exchange (Thursday) was REALLY GOOD! She was giving you mad IOIs like with the nicknames thing and the challenging call-back humor stuff. You said "Well, have fun," which was kind of dismissive, but she came back with "Raincheck?" which is a huge IOI. You're making her slightly emotionally over-reach, which is powerful stuff.

-You may not have realized it, but you IOD'd her when you said "Maybe another time." Girls say that when they're blowing you off. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing, I think it contributed to making you more challenging and making her work for you harder. Also you ended first. That was a very good exchange.

-On Sunday... It's weird how girls work like that. I dated one girl in particular that would wait at LEAST as long as I waited to txt me back, ALWAYS. It was such a piss off. It wasn't even cute and challenging, it was just annoying. I don't know if that's what your girl was doing, but yeah. Not much you can do. Don't let her bait you into replying earlier than you want to reply, although 7 hours is a long-ass time :P

-Monday... Second txt was better than the first. Her response was lame. Good call not replying. Would have waited longer than 20 minutes to call, or not at all.

-The chopstix thing... I didn't think she sounded "put off," seems she's just doing the bratty challenging thing which means she's ENGAGING your conversation topic with EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT. Which is good. To me, put off would be something like "Yeah okay." But what do I know? It's hard to tell in text and I don't know the girl.

-Fridays and Saturdays are high-commitment nights for girls. Good call going for Thursday, Sunday could have also worked. Thursday she might still be sick, but Sunday is kind of far away. Closer is better.

-I didn't feel like she totally ignored the kiss remark. She said "That's right," what's that in response to? I read it as "That's right, you SHOULD be disappointed!" Either way, her response was totally positive. Especially when you haven't been sexual at all with her, it's tough to expect her to be like "Yes, I will be certain to kiss you and then we can have sex," or something. It's hard on txt, but read the emotional response, not the verbal one-- the emotional one here seemed to be positive.

So in summary: I think you did better than you think you did. You can probably still get this girl, but you need to sexualize more and definitely get some anti-flake weaponry in your arsenal. When you sexualize, she will either be down and you will gain the emotional momentum you need to get in, or she will be stand-offish which means you're fighting a very uphill battle. Either way, you want to know the battlefield. The kiss remark was a step in the right direction and I read her response as positive. Keep it up with this one.

djcharlierich
07-26-2009, 06:33 PM
Kay, I'm going to try to address a few things in the order I noticed them really quickly:

Hey Jagged G, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read my post and provide informative and insightful feedback.

After reviewing the info a couple of times, I came to the same conclusion that maybe its not as bad as I may have made it seem. Trouble is, somewhere along the line I started to like this girl, and it has severely muddled my thinking. Since the time of this post we have texted almost every day, though not very extensively or sexually. Also because I like her, I have been thinking wayyyy too much about what and when I am writing which to me has made my texts subpar and unnatural. On the positive, she has initiated most of the texts which is something new from her.

My main concerns come from the fact that we have not seen each other for two weeks now, and so I am in serious danger of friend-zone material which I will not accept. However, I am also wary of asking her out again this weekend only to be rejected again. That would be a deal-breaker for me, as much as I like her.

Due to all of this craziness, I feel that I will call her early this week, talk her up, and let her go without asking her out unless she is giving explicit signs that she wants me to. Otherwise, I am going to explore other options which will take my mind off of things. I had a good lunch date last week which I have completely ignored due to said stressful chick, and a surprise call from a hotter HB that I number-closed a couple months ago but who has only decided to call now. Intriguing.

Anyways, I really like this girl. I have probably screwed it up due to a mild case of one-itus. Hopefully not. I just wish she would give me a more definitive signal that shes into me! She can call me too right! She can ask me out! Most girls I have closed have basically reciprocated or done even more than I have. This one just seems so distant it drives me nuts. She always makes me feel like Ive screwed up somehow or said some bonehead thing to which she wont reply. Im sure shes got her bag of tricks as well. haha Im going off the deep end now. Just venting a little.

Thanks again! Hopefully all will end well : )

JaggedG
07-27-2009, 01:11 AM
Ah, I feel ya. I had the same thing with another girl a few months ago. I actually LIKED her and felt myself becoming too invested. Of course, my first reaction was to pull back and get her out of my head, but when I thought about it, I was just emotionally protecting myself by doing that. The risk I was avoiding turned out to be EXACTLY why I'm building my game-- to attract and keep girls I ACTUALLY LIKE! I practice sharpening my social skills with everyone I meet so I'm better prepared when a girl comes along that I'm actually into. But when you actually find a girl like that, still, she's gotta be part of your learning process. Now is when it's important to pay attention to how her behavior influences your emotions and how your game influences hers. This is what the real thing feels like, not practice.

You have to be willing to lose her. That doesn't mean be negative, like you're preparing yourself for disappointment, it just means don't let your emotional investment exceed hers by too much or for too long. You've got your girl initiating txt now, the momentum is swinging in your favor right now. That's awesome, cause the alternative is chasing her, and I don't know about you but I HATE that. Whatever you're doing is working, so you can tweak your behavior but don't fix what isn't broken.

I wish I had some expert advice for you, but I'm not an expert. To me, this is the hardest part of the game... Or at least a sticking point. That dodgy little bridge where you have to integrate yourselves into each others' lives, and honestly I'm not super good at it yet. All the wisdom pertaining to what to do, I have already given you... But if you can get yourself in the right place mentally, put yourself here:

It's always on. Do your best to keep from running 'damage control,' or letting yourself get into a frame like you're losing her or anything. I've had two major breakthroughs in my game since I started: One was sexualization/kino. When I started touching people more and broaching sexual topics, things went WAY better for me as I tapped into a dimension of emotional psychology that I was missing before. This was huge. The second was about persistence, whether it was plowing through unresponsiveness in Attraction or initiating txts more than a few times. If you don't shoot, you don't score and taking the interaction to its breaking point is the best way to improve and often is the way to get the girl. That's why your touchdown play was such a good one, it was ballsy and unpredictable and the girl will respond to that. I can't tell you what to say or what to do specifically to get this girl, but I can tell you that you can either keep the fire burning and maybe lose her, or stop trying and DEFINITELY lose her. I think you already pushed the envelope earlier on when you felt that she was unresponsive and maybe flaky, etc. and since, she's started initiating txts with you and giving you avalanches of IOIs. You're faced with a difficult situation with her sick and busy, but the interaction so far should be giving you encouragement! Remember: Don't read the words, read the emotions. I hope you can pull a hero story out of this one... It's not as hard as you think.

djcharlierich
07-28-2009, 01:53 PM
Hey Jagged G, I'm hoping you'll see this and give me some feedback cuz your insights have been golden.

Basically, I lost my cool today and screwed up the whole thing. Might as well just ball it up and launch it towards the waste basket. When feelings get involved, shit just gets sticky! After a few days of inconsequential texting I decided to ask her out again, to which she again declined, at which point I got frustrated. You will clearly see this in the text stream with explanations in parenthesis when necessary. If there is any hope for this at all, plz advise!

Me: I went to the gym today and the mosquitos were in there lifting weights, pumping serious iron! I was starting to doubt ur kung fu skills but i guess i wont make fun next time one gives u a fat lip! (Based on previous conversation)

HB: They muscle u around too? : D

Me: Luckily, I had just finished working out, and so I was able to flex and scare them off. I guess the old cliche' is true - size matters! (Trying to sexualize via some subtle sexual innuendo)

HB: Ha ha : p (Not quite what I was hoping for)

Me: Hey u, it looks like im going to get off early tonite! What r u up to later? I was thinking, since bowling is not ur strength, maybe ud like even the score in another game?
(I actually was not working today, but didnt want to seem too free tonite. Actually, this text was kind of spontaneous. Originally my plan was just to get a response from her in a text, which I did previously, and then call her later tonite to set something up. Guess I got greedy here tho.)

HB: Oh i wish i could but babysitting with a friend later : ( (Okay, this is where I lose my cool. Three shoot downs in a row??? Plus, who the hell babysits with a friend?)

Me: Thats kool. babies need sitting = ) Have a good one! (I dont show it yet hang on...+ I was trying to be dismissive to see if she would ask for a rain check like last time which I suppose would ease my frustration)

Me: U know, if i dont see u soon, im going to have to start cheating on u with the maid! (I didnt get a response from my dismissive text so after 10 minutes i went with the classic maid text. Reaching? Yes, i know)

HB: Ha ha oh no! ; D After next week i dont have class so my schedule's not so crazy. (I suppose this could be taken as a positive, but what about this entire weekend? What about if u like someone u will find time for them no matter what! I want action, NOW! So...)

Me: Hey, thats kool. U know, the last time we went out I thought we had a really good connection which Ive been trying to build on, but i think its UR turn to ask ME out. Ill be around...(Im tired of getting shot down from this chick and Im half-heartedly prepared to walk away from this cuz Im really frustrated. So, I put everything out in the open so she can let me know whats oing on. Not the smartest, i know, but like i say <sigh> emotions, man!)

HB: I think we get along just fine and Im all about building on a friendship primarily but if ur in a hurry dont let ME keep YOU from moving on (Ouch! haha Not as bad as it may seem tho. She said friendship primarily. She also mentioned being in a hurry which means maybe her schedule is that busy and im rushing things. Also, the part about moving on is not something friends say. Translation: "I like you but Im busy and Im not seriously looking to dive into something. However, if you're just patient anything could happen." Right?)

Me: I wasnt trying to put a label on anything, just keep the feeling going. Ur obviously too busy to hang out right now, so if at some point u feel as tho building on a positive vibe fits into ur schedule, let me know! (I dont evern know what I was thinking at this point. I was in a blind texting fury, but trying not to say anything like Fuck you bitch! NEXT!!! haha)

HB: Im not too busy but I think both our schedules are kind of unpredictable...today i just have plans that i knew about since sunday (Which may be true, but if she was down, she would have asked me out tomorrow right, or Thursday, or Friday...which is why Im upset)

Me: Hey thats fine, no need to explain urself. I really enjoyed hanging out with you and maybe i was too eager to see you again. In any case, I hope the rest of ur day goes extremely well! (I wanted to leave it at "...explain urself," but for some reason I felt compelled to get that one last statement in there which is basically me saying, "Look, I had a great time with you, I like you, I really want to see you again." Not the greatest idea I know, but I suppose I was trying to salvage something and maybe get a nice response back but after all....this aint the movies!)

HB: Thanks u too

The end? Ya, probably. We didnt get into an argument but it felt like it. Does it read that way too? My interpretation of the whole matter is basically this: She's busy, I was rushing, if I would have slowed down and just let things happen when they happen then something could have/would have probably developed at their own pace. Unfortunately, Im a guy and a friggin caveman on top of that and I dont want to procrastinate. When I see a woman I want, and more importantly connect with and even like, I want things to happen NOW, lest I lose her to the next schmuck. Hence my frustration. If I didnt care about the chick, I would have just let the chips fall where they may. In retropsect, when Im not worried about the girl this is what I usually do, and in the end we normally bang. But I liked this one dammit!

Now I dont know what to do. Cool off and call her next week? Completely next her? Show up at the everglades with flowers? (Ya, right! haha) Is it as completely gone as I think?

The last thing on my mind is this: Even if we were to go out again, there is so much water under the bridge right? I mean, she knows too much of what I think, I know she she's just strolling along, so that would make a kiss move very uncomfortable, right? Thats priobably thinking wayyyy too far ahead tho, eh? This is just blasted, IMO.

sampanye
07-28-2009, 03:49 PM
You're already got a whole lot of good advice but as I appreciate your kind comments so much, I'll throw in my 2c.

I'm not going to go through and analyse everything you and her said. It seemed positive, she seemed keen. You said she didn't initiate texting and didn't respond, but it appears as though she did both these things so I'm not sure why you were complaining. Your texts were good (referred back to previous convos, light and funny), but I think you were too quick to anger or to believe you'd been put off (the chopsticks remark - she was playing along, doesn't sound like she was actually put off at all).

You were right to leave the next 'asking out' to her, but she immediately sensed your "I want action, NOW!" when you explicitly told her you were sick of pursuing her. That's pretty off-putting. You also sounded (in your edited-in bits) angrier than I consider justifiable in such a scenario. She said, "don't let ME keep YOU from moving on" because you were giving her a vibe that said, "I'm sick of trying, I want sex from you or I'll get it from someone else." I think this is pretty much where it all went sharply downhill. You need to stop being so outcome-dependent. You were outcome dependent because you like this girl, sure, but as Jagged said, you need to be willing to lose her.


So my major point: TEXTS ARE A VERY MINOR FORM OF COMMUNICATION AND SHOULD NEVER BE THE ENTIRE MEANS OF COMMUNICATING AND ORGANISING THINGS. They can be misinterpreted. Girls tend to see texting-only as a cowardly move. It says, 'I'm too scared to pick up the phone and talk to you.' 'If I get rejected by text, no one will know that it hurt me.' 'I'll have time to formulate a witty reply, something I don't believe I can do on the phone or in person so I hide behind text messages.'

I'm not saying all texting is bad, I'm just saying it should never be the sole means of communcation. When you're on the phone or talking in person, you can add all that subtle communication which draws someone closer to you. Kino, sure, but also tonality, laughing and so on. Be bold, pick up the phone and call. It's riskier but it pays off better, too.

Goodluck!

djcharlierich
07-29-2009, 05:14 AM
Thanks Sampayne, I agree with what you said. In all fairness tho we have talked on the phone a couple of times, but as was alluded to in the texts our schedules arent congruent so its tough.

IYO, should I wait a week and give her a call, or maybe send a text first to see what kind of reaction I get, or just move on?

I mean, if she she really did babysit with a friend as she put it, I can see their convo going something like this, assuming that she actually cares:

HB: I got into an argument with this guy Ive been talking to. Can u believe these guys!?

Friend: Oh, really? Tell me about it...

HB: He asked me to go out, I said I have plans, and then he got upset about it! I mean, cmon! Its only the third he's asked me out and Ive completely shut him down. And its not like I'm going to do the asking. Sheesh!

Friend: He's asked you out three times and you've said no every time? Whats the problem? Does he look like a dingleberry?

HB: No, he's actually cute, and funny too! The last time we went out we had a great time.

Friend: Then why shut him down? Maybe he thinks you dont like him! So let me get this straight...he's upset because he asked you out three times and you said no...every time. Girl, I dont mean to take sides here, but if you like this guy maybe you should give him a call.

Anyways, thats how I see it. How she can really be upset at me for being upset at her for not making plans! Thoughts? Next actions?

Lev1
07-29-2009, 07:56 AM
i used to have the same problem with showing my emotions so what i do now is when replying to a text i write one out and dont send it for a while, i let myself cool down and re-read it when iv got a clear mind to make sure its good. If it isnt then do another.

djcharlierich
07-29-2009, 08:55 AM
i used to have the same problem with showing my emotions so what i do now is when replying to a text i write one out and dont send it for a while, i let myself cool down and re-read it when iv got a clear mind to make sure its good. If it isnt then do another.

Thanks, thats good advice.

JaggedG
07-29-2009, 12:21 PM
I'm pretty much in total agreement with sampanye. That said though, I understand your situation. I get stuck in the txt thing alot too, it's a sticking point for me. I don't get what it is about girls that just don't want to go from txt to real life. I think people who do the Online Game thing get the same thing. You have to balance maintaining a good emotional momentum with not seeming too eager, and even if you feel like you have it perfect, you'll still get "Well, I don't know when I'm going to be free... Let's just see what happens," or something much of the time. I know that half of the people on the forum already know that the textbook response to this kind of misbehavior is "NEXT!" but others among us wish to increase the chances that we don't have to Next a girl for something that seems totally fixable. Especially when you find a girl you LIKE. You have to be willing to lose her, but at the same time, you don't want to... Of course!

I understand that girls don't usually want to help you out, even when they like you. They're not going to build rapport with you right off your opener, but they will after you've hooked them and qualified. She won't take your top off for you or give you logistical assistance towards the end of your Day 2, but she'll lose it in bed if you escalate properly. All of that is intuitive to me, I get it. But what I don't get is how with phone/text game, "I like you" seems to have such a hard time translating to "I want to see you."

Some experts say that phone game should be pretty much "Hey, come to xyz," and the more you deviate from the to-the-point plans, the more likely you are to screw up. Some say to look at a txt session or phone call as a mini pickup: You run micro-attraction, micro-qualification, a little bit of comfort, and then set up the meet. I dunno, I've tried both these things and maybe I'm doing them wrong, but they're not nearly as silky-smooth as my interactions are in person and much more frustrating, I think lots of guys have this problem.

THAT is why we get pissed when we get shot down three times. It doesn't sound like a big number, but we don't just take a shotgun approach to the invitations:

"How about now?"
Busy.
"What about now?"
Busy.
"...Now?"
Busy.

No, we play it right just like in this thread. Maybe we just end up getting numbers from immature girls, but we're probably missing something.

Anyway, that's kind of turning into a rant almost... Let's talk about you. Don't be apologetic about factoring your emotions into your decision making process. You'll find that as you get better at social dynamics, you actually BECOME more alpha. A manlier man. You don't only know what to do logically and learn how to automatically rationalize the best things to say and do, but you will actually change how you feel emotions and your subconscious processes will become more congruent with your new attractive identity. I believe that the feelings that a "natural" feels are instinctive, but latent in most guys. You know that saying "success breeds confidence?" Yeah. Everybody knows the story of the nice-guy musician who turns into a hyperegoic rockstar once he gets famous. Is that an accident? Hell no, that's how we're wired. We model ourselves after high-value people, and as we put more of the puzzle together, we actually BECOME higher value and now the behavior we were modeling is no longer borrowed, but our own.

Anger is a response to being wronged. If a high-value guy gets shot down THREE TIMES by a girl, the guy gets confused... And justifiably angry-- why would she turn down something so valuable that you're offering her for free? That is WRONG of her, and she is WASTING something that you consider valuable... Your attention and your time.

You can BE angry but don't GET angry, if that makes sense. So a high-value guy would first be angry, but then because he is also mature and wise, he would realize "Ah, she must be confused or something. The problem cannot be me because I am so awesome, she must have turned me down for some unforeseen and fixable reason."

But then this is where my insight stops... I have no idea what that reason is in this case, I can only speculate. She mentioned the friendship thing, maybe she feels like she doesn't have a good idea of who you are, or maybe she just feels like you're on the fast-track to wanting to fuck her, so she's pulling on the reigns... "Whoooa, boy!" Maybe she wants you to chase her. Maybe she likes the attention and the little value-boosts you give her randomly during the day with your happy little txts and doesn't want to rock the boat. I'm not sure.

What can you do about it? I don't think it's over, unless you want it to be. Almost all 'gurus' advocate pushing the interaction as far as you can take it, for the sake of growth. If you feel like it's over anyway, try something you normally wouldn't. Go for the Hail Mary touchdown pass.

I have a friend (who is not part of the community or anything) who puts up with absolutely NO BULLSHIT that puts most people off of him pretty quickly. With girls that he dates, he pretty much calls them out at the first sign of something he doesn't like and starts a full-scale war with them. A girl is seeming distant? Start a fight about it. Girl flirts with other guys? Launch a nuke. He gets in these crazy arguments and battles with girls that can range from rough to full-throttle hostility... But it blows my mind how much of the time he sleeps with these girls THAT NIGHT. I don't advocate getting in crazy fire fights with girls, but the emotional stimulation (and I think the alphaness of the "ABSOLUTELY LITERALLY NO BULLSHIT" thing) ends up being somehow backwards-upside-down crazy magnetic attractive to these girls, so I've been experimenting with being more direct and honest with girls and telling them when their behavior is unacceptable. Kind of like my buddy, but without the crazy blitzkrieg style of it. It's totally prototypical, but it's an example of how trusting your emotions to guide your action can apparently work... Take that idea with a grain of salt and try it out, if you want. But most importantly: Understand that it is more alpha to be unapologetic and straight up with your emotions than to second-guess and censor yourself. It's important to be rational and avoid whining or anything, but it's okay to BE upset, just don't GET upset.

Otherwise, a tamer and more rational (and field-tested) method for girls like this is what I (read: Brad P) call the Slow Track. It's what I (read: Brad P) use for girls who are flaky, hard to get on Day 2s, etc. Read the thread here (http://www.theattractionforums.com/social-circle-game/32715-slow-track-technique-explained.html)

If you haven't heard of this, this girl might be an excellent candidate to try with. That's actually my (read: Brad P's) best advice. If you like the girl, if she is worth it, try it. If she's not... Well, push the interaction as far as you can take it, throw the Hail Mary, try Slow Track anyway, and learn from it. Whatever you do, do it to learn.