Discuss Social circle drama... three of my friends have already fucked her. at the Social Circle Game within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Social circle drama... three of my friends have already fucked her.
OK, so some background. ...
Social circle drama... three of my friends have already fucked her.
OK, so some background. I just started grad school, and I already know I'm higher status here than I was in undergrad. Back in undergrad I was a socially isolated nerd, with only a few (also nerdy) friends. Here I'm best friends with one of the alpha males in my class. I've been going clubbing with him and his other friends (he went to undergrad here so he knows people) and have been successful with women at a level I've never been before. Before I came here I'd had sex with only one girl (my ex from 2 years ago). In my first 2 months of being here, I've had sex with 2 more girls--one of whom was the first legitimately hot girl I've ever fucked (HB9). On my birthday a couple weeks ago, I hooked up with two girls in one night--the first time I've EVER done that. Needless to say, my confidence is at an all time high.
Anyway, this HB7 from my class-- who had already fucked my alpha friend and his other alpha friend-- started IOIing me big time one night at a class party. I hadn't really paid her much attention at this point, but it turned out we had similar tastes in music. She started showing me her iPod and she was all like "we should totally go to concerts," and "we should totally study together." I had her isolated while kino-ing her for about two hours. And actually, I was totally digging her personality-wise as well. Having not had a girlfriend in two years, I was fucking psyched.
The next day, a bunch of us got lunch after class. I sat with other people, but she cornered me outside the cafe and very awkwardly tried to talk to me--"we're definitely going to concerts, right?" I was polite but was kind of in a hurry so the convo didn't last long, but she was definitely, definitely into me. I invite her out with me and my friends that night, but she can't go, has other plans.
Later that night I'm out with my friends, and we're wasted-- keep in mind, both of them have already fucked her. They both call her at 1:30AM from the cab. I call her as well. She doesn't answer any of us, but sends us all a text apologizing and telling us she was asleep. The next night I'm wasted again, and text her at 4:30 AM. Neither of my friends text her that night, just me. Bad move, I know, but I was really, really drunk.
The next day I follow up by asking her out for coffee. She gladly accepts, and even sets the day and time herself, without me even having to suggest anything. We meet on Tuesday. Instead of letting her sit down and actually have coffee, I suggest we walk to a nearby park. It's cold out. But I hooked up with another girl there two weeks earlier so in my mind I have this location set as where I want to make shit happen.
We get to the park. I was using the walk as an opportunity to kino and BS with her. We sit down, start cuddling (it's cold). I try to kiss her. She moves away (this is 30 minutes into the date). Says she made a mistake with someone else in the cohort, and doesn't want to get physical too quickly (I know for a fact that who she's referring to is my friend who she fucked--she wanted a relationship with him but he wasn't interested). She apologizes for making shit awkward. I act like it's no big deal. We start listening to her iPod again. We go back to the cafe and start listening to my music. The entire time we're very close physically-- practically cuddling. I buy her a cup of coffee. She says, "next time, it's on me."
At her door. Still won't let me kiss her. I give her a hug. She says, "keep telling me it's gonna be OK." I cockily say, "don't ever doubt it's gonna be OK!"
I go home, go jogging. By the time I get back she's texted me twice.
We text back and forth a few times over the next few days. I spontaneously invite her over for dinner one night. She declines. The next weekend, I go out with my friends. She invites herself along (by texting my friend, not me). We're drunk. The two friends she's already fucked are there. She ends up hooking up with both of them, not me. The next night she hooked up with another of my friends, who is totally and completely beta (and ugly to boot). Again, not with me. I'm drunk, so at this point I lose my cool. Make some comment about how it's really awkward. Act beta. Then apologize for making shit awkward.
What the fuck did I do wrong? I knew she was digging my friend, but she also seemed like she was digging me. She fucked my two other friends (who she didn't give a shit about). Why not me? Was it just a case of me coming in at the wrong time, actually digging her, while she was still hung up on my friend? And can I recover from acting really beta in one instance while I was wasted?
tl/dr-- Girl fucked two of my friends. I took her on a date. She seemed interested, then fucked another of my friends. I felt awkward and slipped into beta mode while I was trashed. What did I do wrong, and can I recover?
Let me ask you something: are you, or are you not concerned about herpes/chlamydia/HIV/AIDS? If not, then check this out, out of curiosity sakes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia_infection
I would recommend that you forget about this S-L-U-T.
And, if you are still wondering where you went wrong? The answer is nowhere - you did everything right as far as I can tell. It was her who is the fucked up one, and who is the LSE whore who doesn't know how to behave, and has no concept of what she wants out of life and in relationships.
"If you see a difference between where you are and where you want to be... consciously change your thoughts, words, and actions to match your grandest vision." - Anonymous
"What would you do with your life if you had no chance of failure? Start doing it now." - Anonymous
i don't know about you but in my social circle it is pretty much a rule that we don't hook up with eachothers exes without asking permission first. I expect this from all my close friends, break this rule and you are no longer a friend, this also goes for a 'friend' who hooks up with anothers friends ex-GF without asking permission.
The reason for this isn't that we don't want our friends and exes have fun, but to protect the male bonds in the social group. Friendship is VALUABLE. Jealousy is an excellent way to destroy this, and girls know this. And yes, some get off on destroying high value male friendships. I have seen it happen. Friendship is worth more than a girl who fucks all your friends, trust me.
But anyway, assuming that your friends have no problems you fucking her,treat her like a slut. Because thats what she is. A girl who gets tossed around in a social circle and doesn't have any problem with it, well thats a slut first class. Nothing wrong with it, but you should acknowledge the truth, in other words: you either fuck with her, or you can be friends with her. Anything in between is RISKY to say the least. These kinda girls usually have some problems, because it is LOW VALUE to fuck a bunch of guys in the same group. This is awkward for most girls, unless they want revenge or something. Not only that, it creates awkward social situations with you as a boyfriend with a bunch of exes hanging around etc. not good for relationships and friendships.
So what did you do wrong?
You didn't treat her like a "slut". Meaning, high C&F attraction game etc. instead, you started building rapport with your commonalities, and thats only natural because well there really is a click, but unfortunately she already fucked all your friends. You are giving of BOYFRIEND signals, which is awkward for her. I mean, look at it from her side: if she is going to be your boyfriend, she'll have to deal with her 2 other exes, because you guys are friends. Thats awkward for her. That situation would also be awkward for me if I were you.
If you just want to fuck her, you should give off BADBOY signals instead. That way she knows he's just in for a lay, and thats probably no issue for her, as she already fucked a third friend of you. You see, no awkwardness for her, and she also managed to potentially create more drama in the group. You should be aware that she could playing some kind of jealousy game against one of her exes. LOW VALUE shit. Why get involved? there are more girls out there, thats the PUA mindset.
You should actually be thankful, she protected you from drama, because she sensed you would be liking her too much maybe, while resisting her own urges to get along with you. She likes you, but understands (unlike you)that the circumstances are not right for a relationship. She cares about you
If i were you, i would move on and keep her as a friend. You have a click, cherish that and just be friends. Sluts are fun to have as friends. Fucking with them and getting in to boyfriend zone (because there is a click) = DANGER, especially with her ex-bfs nearby.
And.. maybe you can hook up with one of her slutty friends later on
1) This is good advice. Thank you.
Originally Posted by leno
2) Just to be clear, none of the other guys actually dated her. They fucked her. She wanted to date one of them (not the other two) but he wasn't interested. And I know for a fact she was playing a jealousy game with that particular dude... he ran off with another girl one night and she fucked the beta guy I mentioned so that she could tell him about it the next day.
3) I don't know she seemed like she was giving off GF signals to me, at least at first... she was all like "we should totally hang out/go to concerts/study together etc. etc." When I seemed to be ignoring her she went out of her way to get my attention. On the other hand, I don't think she realized (at first) that I was a member of this same social circle... it was the beginning of the school year and social circles were just starting to form.
4) Actually, me and the guy she wanted to date have become closer friends because of this whole situation... apparently she talked shit about me and our other friends to him behind our backs... which he then told us, because he's our friend.
5) She stopped hanging out with us after this whole situation anyway. I think it ended up being way more awkward for her than it was for me.
Why do you care?
I agree with leno - She's a walking STD.
I don't think even condoms could protect you mate.
This girl is the Whore of Babylon.
"Why them and not me?" This is sort of the same thing that happened when I was walking down a street with a friend of mine who was approached by a hooker....and she ignored me. I think I was about 16, and I was going "what the hell is wrong with me that she didn't ask me?"
She likes you, I think she sort of knows how you feel about her and doesn't want to hurt you - but if most of the conversation was about your two friends when you hung out with her, that's where her head is at right now.
She's needy for their attention, and had already built up sexual intimacy with them. If they wanted to make some amateur porno, they'd be able to talk her into it.
If you really want to fuck her, just bide your time. She'll come to you eventually. And you're going to feel weird about it. I wouldn't fuck her until you were getting close to getting your Masters, and if you knew you were going to see her around after you graduate.
DUDE I am so wasted right now.
David Caruso WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!One one one
That is all.
Originally Posted by sdnightfly
sounds like she wants to run through the tribe yo! Don't be that dude who went into a LTR with the chick his friends didn't want but still boned.
Lol at a-electros comment.
I partially disagree with posts saying she's a slut, stds, bla bla bla. We're talking gamewise, if you wanna fuck her or not is totally up to you.
From how I see it your problem was just that you weren't agressive enough. The girl just wants to get fucked hard. You on the other hand care too much about her and she sees you as nice guy/bf material.
Point is you go out with the girl, she's sober she thinks she doesn't wanna look like a slut. Night comes, party, alcohol, she wants to fuck. Now assuming you already having some kind of attraction you just have to close.
This is like the easiest game ever. Just take her hand spin her around a couple of times, dirty dance a bit, push pull physically. And go upstairs and finish the job. Boom, case closed.
"Psychology is an essential ingredient so that logic dominates emotions, and the human dominates the animal"
+1 to Teamo and Hitman.
She's a slut. You bang sluts. You don't take them out on dates. She pegged you as a beta the moment you took her out on a date. That's why you lost.
And you don't date girls TWO of your friends have slept with. It's bad enough that you wanted sloppy seconds. C'mon dude.
By ItsMyTurn in forum General Discussion
Last Post: 04-19-2010, 06:37 PM
By rjs in forum Social Circle Game
Last Post: 03-02-2009, 12:50 AM
By gunner12 in forum General Discussion
Last Post: 02-01-2009, 01:25 PM
By dogfather in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
Last Post: 08-12-2008, 12:36 PM
By mtnhwk2012 in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
Last Post: 02-07-2008, 04:49 PM