Is she trying to make me jealous?
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  1. #1

    Is she trying to make me jealous?

    Hey guys,

    One time when me and my GF were watching a movie, she said about an actor that he's handsome.

    Other time, she said it about someone else (a friend of a friend of her).
    (This time she said it incidentally you know, not like the way she said about the actor).

    Now, she's working very hard to get me and my love. I always make sure she works hard for me, and I'm always in control, one time we almost break up because of that, and I balanced it...Anyway, in conclusion, I personally think she's doing that because she's trying to get my attention. She wanna feel I love her, she wanna hear I'm jealous because that way she can be sure I'm attracted to her.

    So that's what I think... what about you?

    1) Why is she doing it?
    2) What is she trying to do exactly?
    3) How is she expecting me to react?
    4) How should I react and why?

    Take your time, thanks a lot

  2. #2

    shes just looking for a reaction off you, just split with my girlfriend she used to do it all the time, she used to play head games like that to see if shed get a reaction, its a shit-test she trying to see if youre a quality guy or maybe shes just makeing an observation taht hes an attractive male.

    anyways best way to deal with it is just ignore it and try not to react!
    if she says "did you hear me? ignore her still lol.........

    She wouldnt be with you if she didnt think you were good enough for her so keep it up and play it cool man. Im 19 aswell seems like a similiar situtation.

    if shes playing headgames with you all the time dump her shes not worth it, i learned the hard way......and there's lot more sexy women out there


  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009

    1) Why is she doing it? To see if you are easily threatened or it could be all in your head.
    2) What is she trying to do exactly? She could be testing you.
    3) How is she expecting me to react? Like a chump
    4) How should I react and why? Indifferent because it's the alpha thing to do.

    I can see you were jealous of some dude in a movie. Is it safe to say... insecure?

  4. #4

    She's your girlfriend right?

    For heavens sake, she's not a girl you're trying to GAME right now. You have already established rapport, attraction, and comfort!

    Don't be a jerk to her. Don't ignore her unless she's being unreasonable. If she's trying to get a jealous reaction out of you, call her out on it and make fun of her! Then you can let her know she's special to you. But guess what? You're still the one in control and she's much happier and feels safer with you.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    In the Minds of Others

    1) Why is she doing it?

    Depends how confident/ HSE she is, either it's a total test, or part of it is just observation. The friend of a friend thing is wierd though, since girls have very little connection between the visual and the sexual (READ: NOTY visually stimulated!)

    2) What is she trying to do exactly?

    She's probably expecting you to act like a chump, be jealous, show that you have fear of losing her or are worried that she will go off with these "handsome" guys. Or like said above maybe she is just making a comment, highly unlikely though.

    3) How is she expecting me to react?

    Same as above.

    4) How should I react and why?

    Indifference is one way to react, don't just ignore her, that's lame and shows insecurity as well, because she knows you heard her. The best way to respond is to agree. Personally my girl hasn't said anything like that since we've been good in our relationship (i'm a very attractive male though ), but I would say something like "Yeah, he's not that bad, but he's no Brad Pitt!" or "Really, I think it's just because he's famous, if I was famous I'd be a cover model all the girls drooled over too......." which can be followed with the de-cockyfier "but even i'm no Brad Pitt" or whatever.

    Just always have fun with it man. Laugh things off, make fun of her, tell her she's being silly when she gets all chick-illogical/hormonal over nothing. Hold her and give her kisses and laugh at her, it's all about having fun, enjoy the girl you have while she's fun, you'll know when it's time to let go if that time ever comes......

  6. #6

    My boyfriend does the same thing. He use to make comments all the time.. stuff like "aw shes pretty" or "shes cute", "I like that girls coat", "She has nice skin". I never react, infact I usually agree or disagree with him. He would even do it over girls that were average, but he'd find something to comment on lol. Eventually, he became very predictable and see through and It was amusing so I started to bag him. At one point, I even asked him.. but i framed it so it was very curious of me and in a very questionable manner.. and i asked him why he feels the need to obsessively comment.. that it doesnt bother me, but that its so frequent that I can almost predict it.. his reasoning was that he was just very observant and that he's the same with me as he is with his guy friends LOL (bs much?), I just smiled and i said.."Oh.. ok, its just that I can almost predict it now, so I was curious"
    Anyway, needless to say, the comments have drastically decreased.
    Its not that it bothered me, Im pretty confident in myself, but it became very predictable and therefore annoying. I remember at one stage we were watching a show and he made comments about 5 different girls within the time frame of 5 mininutes!! In the end i just bursted out laughing and i said to him "are you trying to make me jealous because its not working"
    and he just laughed (as in, oh shit i over did it) and said something like "i bet it is, you just hide it well".. for the record, I didnt consider any of the girls that good looking =D

    He also use to have a problem with other guys staring/hitting on me and had a semi aggressive reaction, until I made a similar comment...after that all of a sudden guys hitting on me/ staring became annoyingly amusing..he even had a fake laugh going... "hahahh what an idiot!"

    So try my approach, the curious/questionable/calm/indifferent but with a tiny little hint of criticism. Have an expression that you'd have looking at a really complicated painting.

    However, if shes only made 2-3 comments, dont bother with the above, you'll look and sound jealous. Simply start making the same sort of comments (not straight after hers tho) and see how she'll react. Monkey see, monkey do. If she has a problem with it, say.."well how come its ok for you to do it? Normally i keep such opinions to myself but when i noticed that you seem ok with it, I thought id be open about my opinions too."

  7. #7

    How long have you been with your girlfriend?

    If you've only recently started dating, this could be a little test. But if you've been together a while, don't think about it for too long. Everyone observes attractive people. So she's comfortable enough with you to acknowledge it... that's not a terrible thing. My BF has a crush on a certain American singer, I am very attracted to a certain Scottish actor. I've noted my BF having a quick perv at other girls, I have my share of quick pervs at other guys. This is normal, it happens in relationships. Just because you're committed to someone doesn't mean you're blind to the rest of the world. But observing doesn't mean you're planning to cheat or to find something better.

    Don't get upset or phased by it. Don't assume she's trying to make you jealous (all that says is that she's achieving: you are feeling a bit jealous).

    If she makes these comments constantly, this might be an issue. But if she really has only said it two or three times (as your post suggests), just forget about it. It doesn't mean she's shopping around, it just means she's a red blooded female who can see that there are other attractive men in the world. As long as you're the one she's going home with, who cares about all the others? Especially if they're actors in movies... being jealous there just shows real insecurity.

  8. #8

    Just have fun with it. Like everyone said, its a relationship. I can remember a distinct time I took in the same comment, went like this.

    Girl (regarding actor on television): I so want to f that guy.

    Me: Ya I'd prolly do um.

    Girl: God you're gay

    Me: And yet I'm screwing you, not sure which one should be upset about that.

    All playful, all fun. I've even said it about my friends. It just needs to be played a little differently. I comment on people all the time, I also watch people all the time (which has gotten me in trouble). Just remember, she's with you, not with them. Jealousy is a very ugly quality, just swallow it and deal with it, eventually you won't have it and it'll drive people even more crazy.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by TheCollective View Post
    1) Why is she doing it? To see if you are easily threatened or it could be all in your head.
    2) What is she trying to do exactly? She could be testing you.
    3) How is she expecting me to react? Like a chump
    4) How should I react and why? Indifferent because it's the alpha thing to do.

    I can see you were jealous of some dude in a movie. Is it safe to say... insecure?
    lol I'm super secure. Just curious to know a few things

  10. #10

    Hey guys and girls,

    Nice comments!
    If you have more, share them with us


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