For Our Fallen Brothers

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  1. #1

    For Our Fallen Brothers

    *CMPitts sits down at a bar and orders a shot of Southern Comfort. He gets a shot glass from the bartender, and fills it up with the first shot.

    My friends,

    The journey to becoming a PUA is not the easiest one. Anyone who has spent enough time in the community will know that it takes a strength that 90% of people just do not have. We’ve all seen good men, although AFCs, fail, because they didn’t have the proper tools to meet women, or handle delicate social situations. I think we should take this moment right now, to remember them all. I will recount three good men I know, and their stories.

    Sam: (Names have all been changed) I used to work with Sam back in the day. In my hometown, we worked in the same grocery store (back when I was in HS). Sam was your typical quiet, 30s age man, who still worked in a grocery store. He had a good heart, but his social intelligence wasn’t too strong. He was frequently the butt of every joke at the store, for his wild, yet friendly, behavior. One off day, I was able to connect with Sam and I figured out why his behavior was so off: he had only one sexual experience in his whole life, and it was with a stripper in a back country titty bar. He told me that he was always raised to respect women so much, that he just had no idea what to say to them (sound familiar?). It was common knowledge that Sam had a crush on our customer service clerk, Hilary. After 6 months of crippling approach anxiety, he finally marshaled up the courage to ask her to a country-western concert, only to be brutally rejected. I felt bad for him, but at least I thought he would move on from this loss. He didn’t. For many more months, he pined away after her, becoming the creepy guy who stares, until she finally quit in disgust. It wasn’t long before he had another girl, which he was set up to meet. When I first heard this I was excited for him, yet concerned. It was great that he had found a girl, whom I was told was attractive (for a small town), yet I was afraid she would dump him sooner or later. She did, but not before cheating on to, to which he found out about. I no longer work with Sam, but when I do go home for a visit, he seems even more withdrawn. He seems even deader inside: a man whose “life” was claimed because he did not have the proper tools to meet women, nor the social intelligence on how to proceed.

    *CMPitts raises the shot to his lips, and downs it in one gulp, only to have the bartender return and fill it up again.

    Adam: Adam was my college roommate. When I met him, we were both as socially awkward as the other, so it seemed only natural that we would develop a friendship. Looking back on it now, I don’t think my personality now would have kept him as a friend, but back in the day, I was desperate for the company. He was a good kid, however, a little weird. He was very into Indie music, cardigans, and politics. However, we did share many good times, which did spawn a lot of photos, and hilarious retellings of late night parties. Adam came with baggage though: a hometown girlfriend who resented him. He would tell it that she had a very strong personality, and was a very mature girl who he could talk to. However when I met her, she was little more than a parasite: latched onto his exterior, sucking out the good energy. She was, in contrast, very immature, demanding, lazy, and irresponsible for her own actions. Soon after, she tired of him, and broke it off. During the daylight, he would say such things as, “I’m glad it’s over; fucking cunt!” but during the night, I could sometimes hear him crying. He played the dangerous game of trying to remain friends after the breakup; however this eventually ran him ragged, as she would recount tale after tale of men she had hooked up with. It eventually took his spirit. He became very hollow; after being convinced that she was his soul mate. In my desperation for my friend, I introduced him to the game. He ran with it for a while, got rejected a couple times, and then denounced it for “not working.” Even now he has trouble even talking to women, and denounces every woman who rejects him as, “a fucking cunt.”

    *CMPitts raises the second shot to his lips, and downs it in one gulp, while the bartender returns to refill it.

    Jeff: The last but not the least, Jeff is my brother. That’s where the similarities stop. Sometimes, I think one of us was switched at the hospital. Where I am fun and easy going, he is rigid, and a workaholic. Never one to make nice with women, he has always played it safe, preferring to throw himself into his job rather than having a social life. He never had many friends around when we were younger, and even now, there aren’t many. I don’t think he had his first girlfriend until he was in college. How he landed that, I will never know, because we didn’t talk much by this point. When I met her, I wasn’t impressed. She was very average in looks but they seemed to be happy; for a while. Then she realized that she was wearing the pants in the relationship, not him. Then came the demands, the toying with emotions. He was forced to do many things, including cleaning her car, and joining her school clubs, when he really had no interest. Eventually, she became tired of her pet, and released him. He literally did everything he could to get her back: every favor, every errand to bring her back to him. As we know, this never works. It’s been a little more than two years since they’ve broken up. Since then, he has become more withdrawn, has little desire to go out, and most of his friends have left him behind, because he was too depressing. I found out that six months after they had broken up, he offered to help her move her stuff to her new place, just to be near her. To me, he is no longer my brother, but also “dead” inside.

    *CMPitts raises the third shot to his lips, and downs it.

    As I look at the empty shot class, now being filled up for the fourth time by my overzealous bartender, it becomes more of a symbol for me. That fourth shot, representing the man whose life has not yet ended, which still holds a spark of manhood, is out of my reach.

    We’ve all seen good men fail. As each man fails, the journey through life can seem much harder, much the same as it is to put down the next shot on a lonely night at the bar. We’ve all seen suffering. The point being that you are here, doing something about it. You are learning how to be a man, and how to survive in a world where the odds are not stacked in your favor. The simple fact that you know you have a say in the way your life is going to play out, gives you more substance than you could ever know.

    If you are with me now, I want you to tell us a story of one of your friends, who is now dead inside, or has been railed by a woman, because he had neither the knowledge, nor the will at his disposal. Once you get it all out on the table now, down it forever, just like a shot, into your very core. The reason why? This is not your fate. You have all the power you choose to when it comes to your love life. Do not believe anybody when they say that shit happens for a reason. You make your own destiny. We will drink to our fallen brothers tonight, and tomorrow we will move on, with renewed vigor and confidence, and with the will to make all of our dreams come true.

  2. #2

    wow, that is one of the best posts i have ever read in any internet forum, and i have been in many. i can only raise my shot glass right now to salute you and say that you are a amazing story teller, real or fake.

    thank you.

    in some way, i feel like those guys you talk about. i have never been in a relationship, never had sex, feel rather dead and hollow inside.

    i tried sarging today (day game) only to lose the nerve and courage to go approach a girl. sure i can do casual conversation but i can't seem to get beyond that to the normal conversation. i had a few casual conversations with girls today but i just can't get beyond that.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Late night inspiration my friend huh? hehe. Great post indeed.

    Wow If i was to drink 1 shot for any of my friends I d need a whole bottle for starters...

    So there you go... Shots for all my pussy whipped friends. The friends that always had better looks than me, the friends that had more money than me and the friends that now hate my guts because I now have everything they ll never have.

    The friends that when you call them they are pissed off because their gf did or told them something. "You dont know man, you dont do relationships to understand". The friends that when you ask em to go for a coffee with you for old times shake they tell you "Sorry man my gf comes in a bit", or "nah man if i go somewhere she ll start whining, with who I ll go and where I ll go, I prefer to stay in than hear her nag" or even worse: "nah man you know my girl doesnt trust me with you".

    The friends that saw me countless times get a girl out of nowhere but still dont believe there is a way to do this consistently. "The girl you picked anyone could have picked, you just have to talk to her". The friends that after I heard this told them to approach a girl and then I ll pick her up to convince them that it works. And when that happened they told me "I was bored so I wasnt really into it" or "she probably said ok lets give the poor sod a chance since everyone approached me today" (...)

    The friends that spend 23 hours a day fighting with their gf only for 1 hour of sex, so they wont stay alone if they leave her. The friends that soon they ll be dumped or cheated on.

    But worse of all to the friends that will never be THE guy that those girls will remember. "What Mark? oh yes... I was with him for 2 years. Nice guy." Instead of: "Chris? CHRIS??? OMFG he was the best guy I ever had, incredible sex and a man. When I d be a brat he d spank me silly and then when I was good he d cuddle with me... Too bad I wasnt enough for him.... I still love him..."

    A bottle dedicated to you my pussy whipped friends. CMPitts we need to go out for drinks... We ll probably get wasted haha. Excellent post

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Miami Beach, FL

    That is such a great post.

    If i was to take a shot for every friend like Sam, Adam, or Jeff I know, you would be taking me to the hospital with fatal alcohol poisoning.


    Good post. It really does remind us how far we've gone.

  5. Great post son. Of course my excellent proofreading skills made it what it is! Haaaa kidding

    But yeah, I was this guy for most of my earlier life, thank god I found the community the summer before freshman year in high school, and let me tell you, I was bad as hell freshman year. Almost 4 years later, Im a completely different guy, physically and mentally.

    I used to think complimenting girls and being real sweet would get me in there. SMH to me.

    We live and we learn though, and now Im Swaggerr HaHaaa

  6. 07-02-2009, 11:39 AM

    best of clean up

  7. I want to raise the glass for my former best friend Rick, with whom i started learning the game.
    Rick and I met in college , me being some cocky , spanish- looking Russian and he was a good, honest American kid, who I found exceptional because of his unusual inteligence. Rick was in the Army back then , so because of that , I figured he had bals. "Ah, I thought , I finally met my intelectual and balsy (?) equivalent. Now I don't have to do this alone. We can support eachother morally and advance together." I was wrong.
    Rick started out strong , with getting a complete makeover, both in his style, and body language , in less than a week. He opened a few sets immediately after the makeover, got blown out, and quit forever. The " this doesn't work " line turned into a more truthful " I'm scared, ok?" , when I proposed that we do the " give $200 to your friend and get it back as you open "challenge. Now his main AA killer is alchool , and without it there are no attempts to open or to have to do anything with the game. I also found out that he lied to me about his past relationships and that he had never had intercourse , which he claimed he did .( expect maybe (!) with a prostitute, which doesn't count in my book). Not that it matters, but I can't trust him with anything he tells me anymore. When he speaks, I don't know if he's telling me really did happen or his mind is making this up in an attempt at denying reality. We're not that close anymore, although we still speak to eachother, we'll never be best pals again. Our goals are just too different. And me?
    I'm still at it , approaching whenever I can , at school, in social circles, etc. Still have trouble with cold -aproaches, but everyday, I feel myself advancing more and more.I know that no one will raise the glass in my honor, and that's a reasuring feeling.

    * Giugik gulps down a Stolichnaya shot and chruches a pickle.*

  8. #7

    Here's to you Brian. I went to high school with Brain, hands down the nicest guy I know. He is a biochemist now. Brian went to an all male college and didn't have much interaction with the fairer sex. He dated his high school girlfriend all throughout college and grad school. She is not hot, he is not a bad-looking guy...she has cheated on him several times that he knows about. A few times when they broke up she was with other guys and told him about detail. I had hoped one of those break-ups would last and so I let him know that it was for the better...he agreed. They are now engaged and live together. She recently quit her job to become a self-proclaimed 'trophy wife' (nevermind his student loans) and two weeks ago was drunk giving lap dances and pulling her tits out at an engagement party in front of him. Here's to thinking you don't deserve any better.

    Sam was a friend of mine who never really paid much attention to girls, nor they to him. All through college he was single as some guys just are. A few years after graduation Sam met a girl who paid attention to him, she was fresh out of the military and wasn't hesitant to tell him what to do. He was so inexperienced he didn't see anything wrong with her their engagement party she told the attendees that she 'had his balls in her hand and she wore the pants'...he looked at the ground. Here's to marrying a woman who you lack the ability to love.

    Guys, here's to setting REAL boundaries and not just hoping our partners will eventually see the error of their ways and hit their knees in a burst of tears begging our forgiveness.

    Finishes off his Riesling...hey I'm German, what can I say?

  9. 07-02-2009, 04:07 PM

    best of clean up

  10. 07-02-2009, 04:54 PM

    best of clean up

  11. #8

    i'm grateful for accidentally coming across this stuff at a young age. i've dropped alot of friends that carry negative energy with them, and tend not to befriend "average" people i don't have too many stories for this thread......yet there is that one friend that i used to be close to, but can't drop because he's in my primary social circle....this glass is for him...

    i don't know if i want to go into all the details...but basically this is a guy i met through art and got to know through the years. he was cool at first because we had the same passion and our lives were heading in similar directions...but then i got to know him better....he's honestly not a bad looking guy, he has a really nice body that other guy's would envy....but thats probably where his good qualities stop. you'd be surprised how closed minded an artist can be...and i'm not talking about pick-up...i'm talking about life. everything in his mind is out to get him. he doesn't talk to new girls. he brags to me alot in an approval seeking manner about things i've done, or even brags about MY OWN accomplishments.[??i know] he is very socially awkward and often is the outcast of the group even though he knows all of us... his facebook profile reads "it would be nice to someday have a girlfriend". i've honestly tried to enlighten him on how to live life, be successful in art, and talk to women...but he never wants to try it because he enjoys living in his own little comfort zone. years later here i am dating multiple women, have a successful career in art, and live an interesting life that alot of people want to be part of....and there he in my inner circle hanging onto my coat tails freeriding off of my success.

  12. *raises a glass for my old friend Kagan*

    Well, where do I start. Great guy, incredibly intelligent and insightful, but just chronically lacking in social confidence. I know he's never had a girlfriend, and I'm pretty sure he's never even kissed a girl (every now and then he'll tell me a story about getting some action from a girl, but he can never give a name, he only ever seems to get it when he's out of town, and several times I've pointed out contradictions in his stories, after which he confessed that he was lying.) I tried to get him into pickup a while back, but every time we went out, he wouldn't approach, and he'd get angry at me when I'd approach, claiming I "made us look sleazy". Well, it's been six months since our last "sarge", and I'm having a great time with a super hot fuck buddy, while he's still not approaching women, reporting success with women only on occasions when he's out of town. If you're too scared to do anything, that's one thing, but to deny reality by making up bullshit stories? fuck that man.

  13. Another great post Pitts. However, I don't have any stories to share. I am not saying I don't know any AFCs but 99.9% of the guys in my social circle are naturals or AFCs who are borderline naturals. I don't got no stories like the ones posted here. I guess I am lucky in that way, my friends push me and want me to be successful with women. It was in fact a close friend who gifted me a copy of "The Game" on Dec. 31st, 2008. A few of my friends have had girls break their heart but they have always moved on and found a better and a hotter chick. My friends are my inspiration and I am still catching up to them. With time my goal is to surpass them. Already the recent strides I have made in my game are hard for me to comprehend. Love this community <3.

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