Flakes, flakes, flakes...
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    34
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    2,221

    Flakes, flakes, flakes...

    Since I see every time I log in the site at least 5 posts about flakes I thought I ll share my experience on the matter. First off it will be much easier when you read this to have actually done the following so you can understand what I am talking about:

    Read Magic Bullets
    Watch Relationship Management
    Watch some pick up artists on the field
    You ve been in the field and opened at least 100 sets

    Ok first things first. What is a flake? A flake in simple words is anything from waiting a call from a girl that never calls to getting stood up when you have made plans with a girl. (A bride that never shows is a flake huh? hehe).

    The flakes

    Flakes are a weird thing. There you are in a set having fun, thinking you are the emperor of pick up and you get the number since you have already seeded plans for the future. You leave some minutes after you got the number and while you have already called her on the spot to have your number.

    Next day you:

    1) text her but she doesnt text back

    2) text her, she answers but after some texts she doesnt reply your last text which probably was for you two to meet.

    3) call, and you get the answering machine.You decide to leave some cool message and you hope for the best.

    4) call and she answers, you talk for a bit but she seems she is busy and she hangs up after a bit.

    5) call and you hit it off a bit, you say you are busy but you d love to see her at some point. She says she doesnt know and she ll call you. Ofcourse she never calls.

    6) call and you have a great discussion, you say you have to go but you should meet and continue the convo from up close and she agrees. Then she calls you the day of the meeting and says she cant make it because her dog ate the cat etc. Even worse she calls you 30 minutes before you meet and she cancels. Even outrageously she never shows up and disappears or she comes up with a stupid excuse.

    You start cursing the girl for being a flake and you start saying why all the girls I meet are flakes... But wait a minute...

    The meaning

    I know, I know somehow you seem to attract all these weird girls that flake on you. Oops did I say attract? You see there are many excuses for a flake.

    In the beginning I thought everything was bullshit since I heard almost everything. (The funniest flake I had was a girl on a saturday night that while I heard music from behind she told me she was doing her laundry...).
    I also heard how there was traffic. How she lost my number. How she lost her cellphone. How her cat was sick. She had to get the dog to the vet. Her ex was coming to town. And many more.

    You ll know when an excuse is not valid from the time you ll start getting results. I mean if you have met 10 girls and 9 or 10 of them flake on you. The flakes probably are all fake.

    But when you start getting better ("What? what do I have to do with it?" we ll get there.) you ll see that out of 10 women you meet the percentage drops down to 10 or 20%. No matter how good you are you ll get flakes. But these flakes probably are valid and true flakes with small exceptions. If a girl had her parent on the hospital the next day you met her its pretty obvious that she cant meet you. Or if a car hit her dog you dont want to be near her where she ll be sad as hell and anchor all these to you (especially if she is superstitious she can blame it on you. True Story... Not the moderator..). Thats bad Carma.

    Ofcourse even then there is the right way to flake and the bad way. The right way is to let you know that something happened. The bad way is to play dead, not answer any calls, or texts and make you think she died or that UFOs abducted her.

    The reasons

    Ofcourse getting flaked on has more to do with you than with her. Some common reasons women flake are:

    a) you didnt attracted her ("I just had to give him my number to leave me alone", or "hmm yesterday at the club I thought he was interesting but today I dont feel like it..."

    b) you didnt qualify her ("Seriously he must be a player", "I dont think I deserve him, he probably just wants to have sex with me", "he was just polite to get my number and call me.)

    c) you destroyed any sexual tension by closing her too fast or too sloppy("Oh my god he must think I am a slut)

    d) you didnt make a connection ("I feel like I dont know him, who is he?")

    e) you left just when you got the number ("I wanted to get to know him a bit but as soon as he got my number he left")

    f) you did everything right but when she was about to leave she saw you on another set without you seeing her (Busted).

    g) And what you all waiting for: OMG ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

    Its not my fault???

    As long as you have decent game and the flakes dont come often a flake can mean a number of reasons that has to do with the magical world of being a girl. Some that my girlfriends have told me are:

    a) Eww a pimple, zit etc, there is no way i am going out like this. (Yes... I know..)

    b) Omg I have nothing to wear!!! And I have no money to buy anything so soon!

    c) I am on my period, I dont feel well

    d) I got sick after going out with that dress in the cold weather

    e) I cant control myself with him, we ll probably have sex on the first date, he ll think I am a slut, and he ll throw me away used...

    f) Omg what if he is the one? What if he likes what I dont like? What if he likes rough sex and I dont? Will he like kids? Where this is going? We gonna go out and we ll be in a relationship after the date is over? blah blah blah...

    g) Damn my ex bf who fuck so good called me that he comes in town... I need to emplty my calendar.

    h) Oops I had a date today? Oh wait what is that thing on the window... I feel like I forgot something very important. (ADD syndrome you said? lazy? attention span of a 3 year old?)

    i) my zodiac says I shouldnt go out tonight because the stars arent aligned, and the birds fly on the left side of the sun when it was on the lowest point and blah blah...

    and many more.

    So as you see its not entirely up to you...

    But then again it is... (Dont hate the player... hate the game).

    Maybe its my fault AKA the cure:

    The cure couldnt be more obvious:

    LEARN TO GAME PROPERLY

    A girl that is attracted to you will go into great lengths to get you out of the house. I had girls call me to go out, bait me into asking them out and so on.

    Also the cure is to have options and to communicate that. Also you need to communicate that you are not some guy that gets flaked on. And if she is a flakey girl no matter how beautiful, smart etc you dont appreciate second class behavior.

    If on your part forgive girls just because they are beautiful or they are your soul mates in your imaginary world wake up. People will step on you if you give them that right. If you draw borders they ll respect em or they ll leave you alone. Personally I prefer to have people I can count on and not just to have many people that are pretty much useless.

    On another note after being on the field a lot you get a sixth sense about stuff. You know if a girl is flakey after you interracted with her for some time. You WILL KNOW if she ll flake on you for bullshit reasons if you game her properly but this is who she is.

    Tolerance and confrontation

    Many people ask how many times do I have to ask her out? Or she already flaked once, shall I call her again? Here unfortunately you are on damage control. I dont know who said this to give credit but "Flake me once shame on you, flake me twice shame on me"

    Ofcourse it depends on the situation. If you think this is your first flake after a month or 10 girls u probably want to give her another chance if her excuse was good enough and she could prove it. But honestly if you have 10 girls why should YOU do the trying from then on? You just call your other girls and if you left some of your amazing self to her she ll probably want to make it up to you. I did had girls that even bought me dinner because they flaked on me once.

    "Yes but after she flakes shall I confront her?"

    Some will say no, some will say yes. Some triple book dates on the same day. And some dont. If you tell her to come by your house or near your house and flakes on you big deal. If you go to her town drive 2 hours to meet her and she cant make it then you probably doing something wrong or something very stupid.

    I for one say in a calm tone and totally unreactive way that it was good meeting her but I have this pet peeve about flakey people. If a person doesnt value my time and they cant live up to their word I dont want em as friends. Take care and bye.

    Here they can go whatever, you are an ass or something or they ll try to make it up to you. Some will say that I ll just tell her I had a great time without her but I dont. What good is that when she didnt care about hanging out with you in the first place? Its like saying a Ferrari dealership : "WHAT???? 130.000 dollars??? Pff I ll go buy a ford fiesta and I wont have to pay for all these money and the gas is cheaper" Yes I bet the ferrari dealership will cry their eyes out.

    BUT since we are already in the amazing world of the interweb you can post your amazing pics of you having fun with some other girls the same day you were flaked on. Visual stimulation and jealousy are always good with girls.

    I am sure I forget something but oh well. I hope this will minimize the flake posts of the forum.

    Best of luck
    Last edited by silverghost; 03-30-2009 at 01:00 AM.



  2. Nice one Silver.

    My fave part:

    A girl that is attracted to you will go into great lengths to get you out of the house.
    I think that's an important thing to remember. If you created enough attraction and comfort with a girl she's going to make an effort to hang out with you. Even if she has to cancel she'll offer a reschedule.

  3. 03-29-2009, 02:44 PM

    Reason
    best of clean up

  4. 03-29-2009, 03:05 PM

    Reason
    best of clean up

  5. Great post, silverghost. You're definitely spot on that a girl could flake for any number of factors, and it's not just on us guys but on her girl friends too. So what kind of flake rate should we be aiming for? I attract, I qualify, and still get around 50% flakes. Would this be considered my fault or the girls'?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basically Yes View Post
    If you created enough attraction and comfort with a girl she's going to make an effort to hang out with you. Even if she has to cancel she'll offer a reschedule.
    For me personally, I've found this to only be half true. Some girls, even if they're attracted to you, and you've qualified her, will still flake on you. Half the time, it's the girl who invites me for some 1-on-1 time and then flakes on her own plans, then makes some weird excuse like she wants to do her laundry instead. I just don't understand what's going on. When I confront her on the flaking, she pretends she doesn't know what I'm complaining about.

    I get flakes even from long-time female friends that I have a good connection (and even some attraction) from. Even my sister has flaked on me multiple times. I wish there was a formula that could be used so that girls will never flake.

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Gender:
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,221

    Quote Originally Posted by HoboCommander View Post
    Great post, silverghost. You're definitely spot on that a girl could flake for any number of factors, and it's not just on us guys but on her girl friends too. So what kind of flake rate should we be aiming for? I attract, I qualify, and still get around 50% flakes. Would this be considered my fault or the girls'?



    For me personally, I've found this to only be half true. Some girls, even if they're attracted to you, and you've qualified her, will still flake on you. Half the time, it's the girl who invites me for some 1-on-1 time and then flakes on her own plans, then makes some weird excuse like she wants to do her laundry instead. I just don't understand what's going on. When I confront her on the flaking, she pretends she doesn't know what I'm complaining about.

    I get flakes even from long-time female friends that I have a good connection (and even some attraction) from. Even my sister has flaked on me multiple times. I wish there was a formula that could be used so that girls will never flake.
    Wanna know why? Because you dont communicate to those girls how much you value your time and that you are not someone that will take her bullshit like flaking. If you are willing to walk away while u tell her that: You know I dont like flakey people. I value my time a lot and people like that are awful for my type of personality. I cant stand second class behaviour when me myself always treat others with respect as long as they earn it.

    If you say something along these lines after you do your routines etc. On qualification qualify her based on this. Its almost I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E that a gilr that will try to prove to you that she aint a flake, will flake later. Nowdays I never get flakes. Only valid flakes like a car hit my grandma and i am on the hospital (And you hear the chaos from the hospital on the phone).

    Try this and let me know if it works for you.

  7. 03-29-2009, 05:59 PM

    Reason
    best of clean up

  8. #5

    " You know I dont like flakey people. I value my time a lot and people like that are awful for my type of personality. I cant stand second class behaviour when me myself always treat others with respect as long as they earn it. "

    I thought that telling them this would be kind of awkward or maybe that would put us like someone that is very cocky but now that i think better about it, i used to never showed them that i was kind of bothered because they flaked on me, i guees i need to set that early in every approach hehehe.

    Thanks by sharing those thoughts in a really helpful and good post ( really worth it )

  9. #6

    This -----> "Flake me once shame on you, flake me twice shame on me"
    I think it pretty much sums up how you deal with them.
    Good post

  10. 03-30-2009, 02:38 AM

    Reason
    best of clean up

  11. 03-30-2009, 02:41 AM

    Reason
    best of clean up

  12. #7

    and there is one more thing as silver mentioned (which is true for sure),, new gamers can test their progress by "flakes/meeting an hb" ratio.. when the ratio is on its way down, the student pua is on progress. if not, probably the spua should be doing something wrong, in fact he is insisting on his mistakes...

    thank u for sharing that sg,, that post is the answer of more than 25 questions of the forum.. moreover, the post covers so many stuff other than flakes too..

  13. so in short...flake is a symptom of lack of good attraction?

    i m having it with one girl i am gaming...she is nice..but talks boring

  14. #9

    although you can say that, it may not always be the %100 accurate diagnosis. it may be just because of her. to illustrate, u could have attracted the target very well the night u met her,, however the girl may be engaged and next day she may flake you. also, lack of logistics can also drop emotional momentum,, consequently flakes may occur again. lots of reasons,, even guilty conciousness (the day after), she is in period blah blah... can couse flakes.. but u can say that %90 is about improper game..

  15. #10

    and i guess i should add this for darthwayne to conclude,, u can never say that "yessss,, the flake WİLL NEVER occur". no. but if u attract well, qualify well, comfort well and physically progressed well,, the chance of flakes will significantly drop.. however its unlikely to fade away for good. upps,, should i need to stress the logistics on this?

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