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03-09-2009, 10:22 AM #1
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
I don't like the idea of online dating or gaming online in general, but I was given a free 3 month subscription to match.com so figured I had nothing to lose. But it seems there is little to gain either.
Where are all the quality women on match.com?
I have browsed around 150 profiles in 2 weeks, and found 20 women who sparked my interest. I emailed all of them, with what I thought were good emails; light, showing a bit of humour, asking them something and making reference to something specific from their profile. NONE of them have replied and only 3 of them have looked at my profile.
I'm not sure what sort of reply rate I should be looking at but I'm guessing along with my email each woman has at least 20 others so it's pretty tough to get noticed.
The number of guys on there is massive compared to the number of women. And given only a small handful of the women on there seem worth bothering with it makes it even more difficult to get noticed.
The standard of women on there looks pretty low too - and I don't just mean in terms of looks. Some of the women really need to work on their profiles and their messaging. So many women write that they like going to the cinema, spending time with friends and that their family is really important to them. NO WAY! I presume they also like eating and breathing... Then there's the FAT women who describe themselves as 'curvy' or 'a few extra pounds' but they're always bubbly. And clicking on the 'reverse match' option leads me to 50 year old women who are looking for men 'aged 21-30'!!!
I have been sent 2 messages so far and been winked at 3 times. If someone's interested in me I want more than a wink and the messages have been along the lines of:
"Hi I noticed your profile and just wanted to say hi, so if you wanna chat email me back, if not then good luck in your search for someone"
I mean, come on! Who would respond to an email like that? It tells me nothing. And looking at their profiles I almost feel insulted that I'm only attractive to low women on this site!
My profile is pretty good and I asked some female friends for a bit of help with it and used the advice on here, and I have some good photos up. I don't like to brag but I'm a decent looking guy, yet my profile hardly ever even gets viewed and the women who seem worth contacting haven't so much as given me a 'no thanks'.
It all seems way too much hassle for such little reward. Writing out 20 short tailored emails to individual women took me a while when you add in the time it took to search for them. I'm sure there are some great women on match but is it really worth the effort? Maybe it's just the women in my area or I'm being too impatient but it seems like too much effort for such little reward.
What are other people's experiences? Do women tend to be proactive online or do they just wait for someone to spark their interest? I wouldn't be surprised if many of them just give up due to the amount of attention they get. I kind of wish I'd set up a fake profile just to see what some of them have to put up with...
03-09-2009, 10:47 AM #2
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
Firstly, I hate Match.com. There aren't enough women. The functionality of the site is pretty poor and women's membership often expires before you've finished talking to them. Consequently, I use other sites! However, here are a few general points about online game...
Online (and in real life) women are reactive, not pro-active. No matter how good looking you are you're not going to get that many unsolicited messages. When playing around with fake profiles (on Plenty of Fish, not Match), a very good looking male profile might get one or two unsolicitied messages a day max. A very good looking female profile can get up to 400 a day.
Notice the difference!
This is partly because women are reactive in general, party because of the huge male/female ratio.
As a consequence, high value women will not usually open you - you have to open them. You have to be responsible for sparking interest, directing the conversation, eliciting information and emotions. If you don't there will be hundreds of other men who will do so very quickly.
Despite this, if you know what you are doing you can MASSIVELY skew things in your favour. If I'm bringing my A-game I can get a 70% open rate and a 40% date rate - but this has taken me years of testing and refining to achieve.
If you want proper feedback from this board, you are going to need to post your profile, or the messages you are sending. Though you may think they are good, your opinion may be wrong!
03-09-2009, 11:04 AM #3Administrator Emeritus
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Surprise Buttsex
There's something wrong with your profile and/or initial message if you are getting such dismal results.
03-09-2009, 11:14 AM #4
- Join Date
- Sep 2008