Thread: Identity and Grounding (Mystery)
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12-13-2005, 08:18 PM #1Administrator of the Forums
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- Nov 2005
We each possess a unique identity . . . when we teach others the game is give examples of field-tested personality conveying routines to students. Should our students stick to this STOCK material forever? No way! What they should do is identify who they are and swap out our stock examples for customized stories from their real life as soon as possible. The reason they are given examples is so that they can appreciate what constitutes a good personality conveying routine. Some amazing routines are thankfully generic enough to share ("The Cube" routine for instance), while others must by their very nature be unique to each person.
Identity and Grounding (Mystery)
12-13-2005, 08:18 PM #2Administrator of the Forums
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- Nov 2005
GROUNDING: HOW TO GROUND YOUR IDENTITY TO YOUR TARGET'S REALITY WITH YOUR BACK-STORY
I'm sure you've found yourself in a set and have reached the point where your target says, "What do you do?" You either give her your honest but lame answer like, "I'm a student", or "I'm a system's administrator", or worse, you try to circumvent the question entirely with "I'm an ass model."
The problem is you don't have an attractive identity, or if you do, it's not a strong one. Some guys will experiment with "I'm a rockstar", or "I'm a promoter", or "I'm a public speaker", but your target will either feel you are lying (in the same way we believe an "actress" is likely a "waitress"), or if they DO believe your evidence, they become intimidated when you get weighed down by the stereotype they have of you.
If instead of answering her question "What do you do" with "I'm " you can ground your present identity to her reality and harness the opportunity to convey a much richer personality. Here's how you do it.
1. "Well when I was little I wanted to be a ."
2. "When I was a teenager happened." Tell stories about how you got from 1 to 3.
3. "Now I'm . Can you believe it?"
By giving my target my back-story, I ground myself to her reality ("When I was as a regular Joe") so that she could see how she too could be the type of person I now am ("This is who I am today") if only she were to make similar decisions along the way. You can even later use this format to encourage your target to ground HER life to YOU...
Notice in my list of grounding stories above that the common theme is "This is what lead me to become who I am today. . ."
Now, how does one answer the deep question, "Who am I?" A friend of mine told me, "You are what you repeatedly do."
So this is what you must now do to improve your game:
1. Figure out who YOU are by looking at what you DO repeatedly - something you can say in a word or two. (ex: magician, writer, toy inventor, CEO, hacker, rock climber, rapper, public speaker, traveler)
2. Come up with several stories that convey how you got from being a normal kid to doing what you repeatedly do.
3. Practice telling these stories to others to make the stories enthusiastic and natural.
Edit: There is an hour-long downloadable audio interview with some of the world's top pick up artists on the subject of identity - click here for more info.
Last edited by Administrator; 12-13-2005 at 08:35 PM.