Mixed Messages - Can't Get a Real Kiss

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  1. Mixed Messages - Can't Get a Real Kiss

    I've probably broken a lot of "rules" here. I'm just learning them, but had been introduced to this woman by a friend. I didn't want to take her out to dinner, so I asked her to meet me for drinks at a upscale bar. We drank and chatted and she threw me a lot of IOIs and kinos and I touched her back. She had come out even though she had a cold. After a while she said, it's late, I haven't eaten are you going to buy me dinner. I hadn't anticipated her being so direct, so I bought a bar pizza. She offered to pay for part of the bill, but I said I invited out, I'm paying, you can pay next time. I walked her part of the way home and we hugged good night.

    The next time was election night. We met at a bar. I said I wanted to go to some parties and she said she wanted to either go out to eat or go home. I said I'm not buying dinner if you're not staying out with me, but I will take you out to dinner next time. So, we hung out for an hour and left. She picked up the tab. I offered to drive her home. As we were walking to the car I asked, "do you want to kiss me." She said, "No, I don't know you that well." I replied, "Well, I didn't say you could kiss me" to which she laughed. I drove her home but we didn't kiss goodnight. Maybe on the cheek, I don't remember.

    Third date. I know everyone says don't go to dinner and don't pay, but really, I live in New York and weekday dates take place after work at which time people are tired and hungry. They want to sit and eat. I tried to get away the first two dates with just drinks, but really, I don't know how you avoid dinner, when its 7 pm and neither of you has eaten. So I take her to a nice restaurant, not fancy. We meet and she gives me her cheek to kiss. We order wine, and have a great time talking over dinner. She's playing with her hair and giving me IOIs but we're too far apart for kino. She offers to split the bill and I say, I'm picking this up. You can pay next time if you want. So, we're walking through Greenwich Village, and I'm on the side with her purse. I eventually get on the side of her free arm and offer her my arm and she takes it. We were going to take a taxi, but the bus comes, so we take the bus. We sit together. She had hurt her head so I touch her hair a bit to see if she's alright. We get off at her stop and I walk her to her apartment building. She says thanks for dinner and as I go to kiss her goodnight, she gives me her cheek. I kiss my grandma on the cheek. It's the third date, so I try again and go for her lips. But she steps back and loudly says "No." I'm stunned. I give her a look like WTF, but I dont' say anything other than goodnight and turn and walk away.

    However I was quite upset. It was embarrassing and I felt like she was treating me like I was attacking her. And I was pissed off. I know she's very traditional and maybe a little bit of a prude, so I didnt expect to get her into bed, but I did expect a real kiss by the third date. I'm sure I didn't do everything I should have to build attraction and totally felt like an AFC.

    The next day she send me a nice email with a link to something we had talked about during dinner, and again thanking me for dinner. And while I realized this was an IOI, I felt insulted, that I had lost the upper hand.

    So, I wrote back, "Thanks for the link and you're welcome for dinner. Although, I gotta say you ruined a very nice moment last night." That was 12 hours ago and I haven't heard from her since. I feel that I was disrespected and I need to put her in her place, but I'm not sure. Should I call her tomorrow and discuss what happened? That seems wimpy. Or do I wait for her to call? How long? What if she doesn't?



  2. First off, I'm an asshole so keep reading and you'll probably be offended.

    You're acting like a robot. Like maybe you think if you do certain things then it = a kiss. *BEEP BLURP ZEEP* "TOOK TO DINNER, PAID FOR IT, HAD CONVERSATION. I DESERVE KISS AND INTERCOURSE. That's not how it works. You can take her out to dinner all you want and be Mr. nice conversation guy but in the end if you're not building attraction then nobody wants to kiss you, I don't care how well you think it all went.

    If she doesn't want to kiss it's your fault, don't blame her. Saying "you ruined a very nice moment" is ridiculous. Is she supposed to just kiss you because YOU want it? What about her? She wants to be kissed and banged like a whore; don't blame a girl because you don't know how to turn her on.

    You are trying to do it your own way and then wonder why it doesn't work. Read magic bullets and lots of other material and wake yourself up.
    Last edited by Basically Yes; 11-13-2008 at 12:14 AM.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Basically Yes View Post
    First off, I'm an asshole so keep reading and you'll probably be offended.

    You're acting like a robot. Like maybe you think if you do certain things then it = a kiss. *BEEP BLURP ZEEP* "TOOK TO DINNER, PAID FOR IT, HAD CONVERSATION. I DESERVE KISS AND INTERCOURSE. That's not how it works. You can take her out to dinner all you want and be Mr. nice conversation guy but in the end if you're not building attraction then nobody wants to kiss you, I don't care how well you think it all went.

    If she doesn't want to kiss it's your fault, don't blame her. Saying "you ruined a very nice moment" is ridiculous. Is she supposed to just kiss you because YOU want it? What about her? She wants to be kissed and banged like a whore; don't blame a girl because you don't know how to turn her on.

    You are trying to do it your own way and then wonder why it doesn't work. Read magic bullets and lots of other material and wake yourself up.
    AGREED

    you havent turned her on any or made yourself sexual to her.
    who says that it isnt ok for you to pay. it is okay to pay. its also okay for her to pay if she offers.

  4. So, what do I do? Call or don't call?

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Gender:
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    id call. but start showing her that you are a sexual person. build attraction. streer her through a lot of emotions. highten her sexual side. turn her on dont kis just because you feel its the time of the date where you should kiss. kiss because its the right time to kiss, because you are both feeling it and want it and its the right time

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