Every time I'm successful with women my money goes down the drain.
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  1. #1

    Every time I'm successful with women my money goes down the drain.

    I make plenty of money to be content all by myself. But whenever I approach being successful with women it seems all my money goes down the drain. Is this just a fact of life or am I doing something wrong?



  2. Quote Originally Posted by davidj425 View Post
    I make plenty of money to be content all by myself. But whenever I approach being successful with women it seems all my money goes down the drain. Is this just a fact of life or am I doing something wrong?
    It sounds like you're working a too difficult job for your abbilities and that you can't divide your time, so when you do you have to end up loosing out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    What an ambiguous post. Explain your situation.

    Are you spending (lots of) money on women?

    Or going out with women so much it's affecting your work life (sales, calling in sick, whatever)?
    Always leave her better off than you found her

  4. #4

    Give examples.

    It has nothing to do with how much you make. It's irrelevant. You should be successful with women without opening your wallet. It's all about what you're spending money on...entertainment-wise. Tickets? Alcohol? Hotel rooms?

    Suggestion - write down all your expenses next time you're on a date and see what you could've cut back on.

  5. #5

    Dont spend more than $60 tops on dates.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by sdnightfly View Post
    Give examples.

    It has nothing to do with how much you make. It's irrelevant. You should be successful with women without opening your wallet. It's all about what you're spending money on...entertainment-wise. Tickets? Alcohol? Hotel rooms?

    Suggestion - write down all your expenses next time you're on a date and see what you could've cut back on.
    Most of this is with someone I'm stuck in the friend zone with. She will always want to go to movies (even though I don't like what's usually playing) She will always call asking me to come over where she's babysitting to hang out (I've learned not to do that now unless it's real close). She will want to go to the beach and always seems to want to buy and want me to buy new rafts, tube or kayak, even though I could just use the one I already have. This woman is about $7000 in debt so she is doing something totally wrong. I just don't know how to act since she wants me to do the same. This is just being friends with her so you can just imagine what it would cost if I get out of the friend zone. What do I do? Is this woman most likely always going to be like that so I don't even want to get out of the friend zone? Or is there stuff I can do about it?

  7. #7

    Friend zone is more expensive than any other relationship you can have with a woman- short of her being your employee.

    Don't even stay in relationships where you're "LJBF"ed. Not only is it expensive, apparently, but it completely drains you of your power frame.
    If she were a guy, would you be spending all this money on this person? I doubt it.
    Unless this is a fulfilling friendship where she is honestly giving you something in return for all of your... dedication... then I suggest you break it off.

    Otherwise, if you feel like she's not just stringing you along, or if this friendship of yours is actually fulfilling to you, then find a way of making sacrifices for her that you would for any good friend- that includes budgeting.

    But judging from the fact that you said you were "Friend-zoned" and not "friends with her", I'm willing to bet there's one-sided feelings involved. Sadly, your feelings don't mean shit to your inner self, where you probably feel like you don't really deserve this girl, in which case you would be happier if you broke it off whether or not you were spending all that money.

    A woman is more likely to have you spend tons of money on her if she's stringing you along than if she liked you. If she cared about you as much as you care about her, she would feel bad about how much you were giving.

  8. #8

    Doku,

    Thanks for the reply, I don't think I really explained myself well enough. You see she's not really making me pay for her, she pays for her share and I pay for my share of going out to eat, movies, camping or whatever, in fact she won't even allow me to pay for her share. The problem is she wants to do these things so often or so expensevely that it is financially detrimental to herself as well as me. When I tell her no I really don't have enough money, I feel like I've done a major dlv.

    Now what's the exact difference between being friend zoned and being friends with her? I'm not too sure what it is in this situation.

  9. #9

    Why is she expecting you to buy her things?

    She sounds like a charity case, more than a friend. She got herself in her debt. Don't let her suck you in even if she is nice about it.

    I think she sees "going Dutch" as a small price to pay in exchange for the pricier hobbies that she may have wanted to do at one time, but can't afford now.

    Just "tie your money up", maybe you're planning to start your own business, buy your own home, anything that doesn't sound fun, but coming across that you're watching what you're spending, and she'll have to just deal with it.

    Friends don't lay guilt trips on friends, esp. from the way this sounds. And when you say you're stuck in the friend zone, you're not married to her, and if all that matters to her is that you buy her things and you get the privilege of hanging out with her in exchange, you have to ask what kind of friendship this really is.

    As an act of generosity to a friend, I'd help pay her debt off (maybe half), but I wouldn't buy her any stuff.

    The point is YOU make money, and there are plenty of women who are more than happy to take from guys through all sorts of means (guilt trips, grew up poor, unhappy childhood, etc) You went to school, you were the one who work hard for it. You do what you feel is right. Her problems aren't yours.

    I've heard women that were in relationships and marriages saying how unhappy they were but because he spends money on her, she sees no reason to leave. This is neither a relationship nor is it a marriage. People with bad spending habits never change if there are enablers.

    If she wants those things, she can save up for them and buy them or see if someone has it on Craigslist...

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    You're confused, and you're confusing us.

    In this one thread, you have said all of the following:

    Every time I'm successful with women my money goes down the drain.

    I make plenty of money to be content all by myself

    whenever I approach being successful with women it seems all my money goes down the drain


    Most of this is with someone I'm stuck in the friend zone with

    I just don't know how to act since she wants me to do the same

    The problem is she wants to do these things so often or so expensevely that it is financially detrimental to herself as well as me. When I tell her no I really don't have enough money, I feel like I've done a major dlv.

    Now what's the exact difference between being friend zoned and being friends with her? I'm not too sure what it is in this situation.




    This thread, though brief, is so entirely confusing that I am only sure of one thing:

    You are being led around by your nose by a chick whose financial decision-making is catastrophic, and you're colluding with her but writing it up here as if you're a victim of circumstances.

    Tough love on:

    While you're sitting in front of the computer, reach down with your hand and feel around between your legs.

    You should find a cock and two balls down there somewhere.

    If you did, that's great. You're a man!

    Now start acting like one.
    1. She's not doing anything to you. You're doing this to yourself.

    2. You are not being successful with her. You are not approaching success with her.The only people who are successful with her, apparently, are merchants.

    3. Your money is not going down the drain. It's going out the window. And you're the one throwing it out the window. You didn't mention one time where she held a gun to your head and stole your money. Stop acting like a victim.

    4. You seem like a very passive and confused guy. A lot of the statements you've made in the thread, some of which I've highlighted above, don't make sense when all taken together. You have some inner game issues to work out, because supplicating to women and then grousing about it here as if you're a victim (yes, I've used that word again) has to be fixed first for you to meet and attract women in a healthy way.
    Tough love off.

    Ideas for you:


    • Stop spending time with this chick. You're getting less than nothing out of it.
    • Read a book on personal finance. Anything by Suze Orman, Robert Kiyosaki, Clark Howard, Dear Abby. Anything period. I don't know how you can have "plenty of money" for yourself (whatever that means) and not enough money to do something with someone else (because that's still money for yourself).
    • Read Magic Bullets.
    • Take a Boot Camp or get some one-on-one coaching.
    • Consider seeing a therapist who can help you straighten out your views on women and how to relate to them. Your victim mentality is a toxin that you want out of your body.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by DeadEyeDick; 08-21-2008 at 04:12 AM.
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