Thread: poor mans game
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08-10-2008, 10:30 AM #1
Advise me. What kind of frame is nessicary for a poor man to do well in this world?
poor mans game
I work hard for not very much money and I am a single father so that makes things doubly tough for me.
I dont fear the approach but once its time to take it to the date level my frame falls apart. I cant afford to dress nice (school is starting back and I have to spend money that I dont have on school clothes for the kids)
I guess what I'm asking is how do I reframe poverty?
I know its a stop gap measure, and I am working on solving the problem of being poor but in the mean time wtf do I do to convey high status while being authentic (I cant play 'starving artist' because I'm not)
whats are cheap place to take a girl? Can I suggest going dutch w/o looking like a loser? And how do I get back to her house insted of mine.
On that last note I usualy say that I have kids at home and I dont want them to meet a girl unless I know that they wont get attached to her only to have her dissapear (not that I am looking for a ltr but it's my excuse for not bringing them to my place).
This is a quickly composed post but plz read between the lines if need be and give any and all opinions!
08-10-2008, 11:11 AM #2
I would play it from the angle of being a single dad, and how much kids cost to raise.. as far as getting back to her place.. I used the same strategy.. had a rough divorce, I shield my kids from my social life, etc.. I want to make sure the kids don't get hurt again...
Make having kids an advantage, devoted father.. NOT a dead beat dad, etc..
Framing is all a matter of perspective, you see being cash poor with kids as a DLV.. You are making sacrifices for your kids....
A good woman will see that as a DHV in my opinion.
As far as cheap dates.. A picnic lunch or dinner in a park, you both bring a few items and spread out a blanket in the sunshine.. think outside the box, be creative....
That's all I got..
Last edited by Boba; 08-10-2008 at 11:32 AM. Reason: Bad Spelling
08-10-2008, 11:25 AM #3Administrator Emeritus
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Surprise Buttsex
It's just a self-limiting belief. You are taking something you think women will disqualify you for and putting "game" in front of it as if it is somehow different or more difficult. There's no lazy eye game or fat guy game or bald guy game. No poor guy game either.
Logistically, you shouldn't be bringing girls back to your place unless they're your GF. It can screw the kids up, depending how old they are. But going to her place and going home afterwards shouldn't be a problem.
08-10-2008, 11:31 AM #4
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Portland Oregon
It's the same as any type of game.
Just don't act like it bothers you and it won't bother her!
08-10-2008, 05:05 PM #5
I've done poor mans game all of my life if that helps. Shit I'm ready to do rich mans game but hey I've managed to do pretty well being broke as hell.
08-10-2008, 05:44 PM #6
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Miami, FL
I can definitely relate with you on the tight finaces situation, i just graduated from college and I played baseball all through college making me pretty much a pauper; bc its practically impossible to play college sports and have a job simultaneously. Day 2's on beyond with low finaces can be tricky especially if you live in a superficial haven like the south florida one i reside in. One great cheap date suggestion is ask a girl to meet you at Barnes & Nobles. Get there before she does and once she arrvies tell her you want to play a game. Ask her to walk around for ten minutes and pick out some books that provide insight into her likes/interests/personality or some books that she is particularly fond of etc. Tell her you'll do and the same and then sit down and have a little discussion afterwards. Great for comfort building and costs you nothing
08-10-2008, 05:56 PM #7
Your future plans and goals are important.
Be clear about what you hope for in your professional future ... it's important to convey those plans and to actively work toward them for yourself.
As for "cheap dates," the least expensive dates I've had have been the best. Occasionally I'll take a chick to the store (this is no lie) we'll pick out ingredients together and then cook dinner together. You don't need to do that at your place, but you'll need to find care for your kids if you do that at hers.
If you find a chick whose disappointed that you're not taking her out to expensive dinners, she's an asshole you don't want anyway.
Ice cream, coffee, taking a walk, bowling, jogging, biking and other similar things allow you to get to know someone without proving a certain bank balance.
Don't try to "explain away" a financial situation. WHO YOU ARE is more important, and ultimately more valuable.
08-10-2008, 09:25 PM #8
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
You’re a good dad and you’re improving yourself. A lot of guys can’t say that, and it gives you a huge amount of value even if you’re not making much money yet.
You need to start looking like you’re high value. It’s hard to conceal poverty but you sure don’t want to announce it. Here, good grooming is your best friend. The best way to look poor is to be ungroomed and dirty, so keep yourself clean and neat, have a decent haircut, and shine your shoes.
You can afford to dress better than you think by buying clothes that are still in good shape at thrift stores. (Do this for the kids, too. They don’t need new clothes—they just need to finish the school year without freezing.) Get your “new” clothes altered to fit properly and you’ll look better in them than the guy who bought them new. In North Carolina, stay with conservative looks. They’ll make you look upwardly mobile, they’re acceptable at all levels of society and they rarely go out of style. Also, conservative clothes with nice labels say all the right things to a woman when she sees them on the floor next to her bed.
Your post shows that you’re fairly well educated. Find a way to continue your education. You’ll meet women, even in night school, and education improves your ability to make a living. Most women can overlook poverty if they think it’s temporary because you have dreams and you’re acting on them. If you can’t afford school yet, at least know what’s going in the world. It will be a huge leg up when you finally do go back to school.
For cheap dates, try the museums in the university towns near you. When I was running game in Chapel Hill I did as well in The Ackland (Ackland Art Museum) as I did in bars. Admission is free. I just checked the website for old time’s sake, and it has some good work up right now. Afterward, walk over to Franklin Street for dinner. College towns always have cheap, good places to eat, and there are a bunch of them on Franklin.
The museum date kills several birds with one stone. It’s cheap, it’s near cheap places to eat, and once you know a little bit about art, you can start running art gallery game. (That’s an art form in itself, and I’ve posted about it here: http://www.theattractionforums.com/f...lery-game.html.) Also, few things say you’re upwardly mobile like an interest in and the ability to comment intelligently on art.
One last note: the art world is full of women who won’t necessarily object to your (temporary) poverty. You might even meet one of the ones who’s filthy stinking rich and feels guilty about the family money. They’re more common than you’d think, and they’re freaks.
PM me if you have questions.
08-11-2008, 12:02 PM #9
Hey, thanks a bunch guys. Very helpful stuff, I suppose we all can use a good pep talk once in a while. I'm definitely going to act on this advice! Any other suggestions are certanly welcome. CHEERS!
08-12-2008, 07:50 AM #10
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
everyone else has given you great advice about framing so i won't reiterate what they've said...in regards to where to take her...
Pimp your kid off...no joke...
Cheap dates where not only you and your date can have fun but you can bring your kid along...include beaches...mini golf...movies (not at big theatres...but at ones around colleges if you're close to any)
(I grew up in Chapel Hill so silversixone's idea about franklin street is golden)
do picnics...i wikipediaed Fuquay-Varina NC and it says you guys have a really expansive park structure there...go for a walk there or whatever...movie nights in...blah blah...keep it simple...but also keep in mind that any woman, no matter how understanding she is...is going to want somethign special once in a while...
oh and COOK FOR HER...women love guys who can cook (WELL)
and depending on what you're looking for...i would suggest going for the intellectual types...as you're back in school you'll already have something in common with them...also smart women may not have the initial bias to your financial situation...especially grad students...they will also be in just as much, if not more, debt than you....
but yea...growing up poor sucked...so I really hope you do well for you and your kid