Inner Game: Experience and Mindset

Hey guys,

I just did an article for TSB magazine on Inner game. Thought you guys might like to have a gander.

Developing Inner Game by Cajun

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. Itís a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and itís a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetimeís worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I canít convince you how to think or look at life differently, only you can, but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

So what is it?

To me, inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. Iím going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article youíll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.


When people ask me how I developed my ďRock solid confidenceĒ, I always answer the same; ďPracticeĒ. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that its simply doing something that youíve done enough times to be comfortable with. Itís only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they donít talk to women! Itís a negative feedback loop thatís perpetuated by a fear of ďwhat might go wrongĒ. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!

Think about it this way; when you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well this is the same thing, I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isnít easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, donít get mad at her or yourself, donít go home, just accept that itís a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You canít make an omelette without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.

Mind Set:

Most of us grew up in a society that believed in a 2 concentric circle model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle; reality, through our inner circle; our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked; that our consciousness was independent of itÖbut recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is; reality exists inside our mind, we create our own reality with our thoughts (Or beliefs, if youíd rather).

What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be 1 reality; your own. Whoís to say Iím not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing this entire article out to send a message to YOU, from your subconscious mind. Itís possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and itís a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Donít be one of them.

I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

ďThink of it this way: what if, letís say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you canít tell itís not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play, he says this:

ďThis software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, letís say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these ďbeliefsĒ. Think of it as your ďconsole hackĒ"

Iím sure you saw this coming, but this ďgameĒ already exists and itís called reality. You become who you believe you are.Ē

Sound a little like the matrix? Well thatís ok, like I said; I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective and this is simply how I believe reality works.

Iíll end this article with something that Iíve never written about before:

I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women, I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that Iíve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?

ďThe secret to becoming amazing at attracting women isÖto remember that you already are.Ē

Your welcome,


Let me know what you think!