My Game: Insights on How I Game

I just got back from an awesome weekend in London with a bunch of instructors (Savoy, Braddock, Mr M, Soul and some approach coaches who proved themselves this weekend and made it into the ranks of Love SystemsÖ congrats guys!) Like you expect when you put a group of instructors together in the same place, thereís going to be discussions about game and how we game Ė the things that we do that makes us successful in field. Itís always interesting to discuss game with other top instructors because you almost always learn something new and exchange ideas that will improve your game. Even though all the instructors are in the same company as I, we all have different styles. Sure, some styles are similar, but we are definitely not replicas in terms of game. We have all taken the concepts and ideas from ďtheoryĒ and through solid field work worked out the style of game we want to run Ė and the style that gives us the best results.

I think thatís a really important point to make for all the guys out there, youíve got to carve out your own style of game from your experiences and not just copy someone elseís. Itís the same thing as working out and getting in shape; you shouldnít just copy what someone else is doing and expect the same results as they are getting Ė youíve got to apply what works for you and use your experience to put together your own work-out plan that gives you the results you want instead of following exactly what someone else is doing.

I think this also shows that we as a company are always evolving; we are no longer ďthe old Mystery MethodĒ bound by certain rules set 4-5 years ago and tied to a certain style of game. I totally disagree with some of the ďold rulesĒ, such as the 7 hour rule or that your value is inherently lower than the value of a super hot girl. We have an amazing backbone structure in the emotional progression model, but what I like the most about it is that itís not limiting you at all; you can adapt whatever style of game that suits you the most. I do think itís awesome that we have so many different styles (direct, indirect, social circle oriented, identity oriented, natural, disqualification oriented etc) within the company.

All that being said, itís always useful to get insights on how other people game, and try some of it out for yourself and see what sticks with you. The purpose of this post is to express some ideas that I use in my game. Hopefully it can help you put a new perspective on things and improve your game. First, let me give you an overview what my game is revolving around. Iíll then break down each section in more detail and give you guys some insights on how you can incorporate it into your own game. Iíll try to include as much information and detail as I can about the way I game, but naturally it would be impossible for me to cover every single detail of my game. This will be like me explaining the tip of the iceberg, but still introduces you to some concepts and ideas that I think you could benefit from.

Overarching ideas
My style of game is VERY Same Night Lay based. In other words, itís specifically tailor-made for meeting girls at clubs and bars and taking them home the same night. For this style to work I believe itís tremendously important that you develop some specific mindsets, beliefs and attitudes. A lot of my actions are drawn from the influence of these.
A huge thing to emphasize here is that I absolutely donít consider a girl a slut, ďeasyĒ or put any value judgments on her if I can take her home the same night I met her. Iím extremely non-judgmental about this and I canít stress this enough. In my opinion you simply canít pull off consistent Same Night Lay game if you have weird beliefs about girlsí sexuality (like good girls donít put out on the first night) or if you are a misogynist Ė because it will shine through, ruin your interactions and prevent you from getting what you want. Also, some people draw ego boosts out of sleeping with girls the first night (or sleeping with as many girls as possible) - a mindset I find atrocious. All the validation you need should come from within yourself. This might seem slightly off topic, but I think itís really important to comprehend the fundamental mindsets and beliefs that permeate a certain style of game to really understand it.

While on the subject of mindsets, Iíve benefitted a lot from the following ones too;
All girls love me
All girls are friendly
Your value is roughly equal to what you perceive your own value to be
All girls are, under the right circumstances, willing to go home with a guy the first night
Iím a value bringer, not a value taker
No girl is ďtoo good for meĒ. I deserve the best and Iím not afraid to get it
Itís my job as a man to escalate and make things happen
Rejection is a learning experience

Key concepts
Apart from the mindsets stated above, there are certain key concepts that I revolve my game around. Without further ado, they are:

Assuming Attraction

Ok, so letís break each concept down.

Assuming Attraction
A lot of guys go in to set with the intention to impress the girls, show them that heís cool and hopefully theyíll get attracted to him. What I do instead is that I assume the girl is already attracted to me (before Iíve even opened her). Why wouldnít she be? Iím awesome. But hereís the important part; just because I consider myself awesome doesnít mean I should be an asshole (in other words try to put the frame that Iím high value and she is low value and try to put her down) or that Iím socially uncalibrated or insecure (by trying to constantly prove that Iím awesome). So one might think itís a fine line to walk between being confident and an assholeÖ but itís really not. Once you have your inner game down and a decent social understanding, you understand that itís not attractive behavior to put other people down (and youíll have no need to) and you will have the ďaura of awesomenessĒ glowing all around you if you are confident in your own value and attractiveness.

This sort of thinking has reduced my approach anxiety ten folds too. Iím very confident in my own abilities and value, and I know that Iíll act even more attractive if I believe that she is already attracted to meÖ so thatís what Iíll do. And how hard is it to approach a girl you already know is attracted to you? On a similar note, thatís the reason why itís so hard to get rid of a girl thatís really attracted to youÖ because as soon as you know that she is attracted to you, you unconsciously start to act in a way thatís even more attractive. Have you ever had that? There this one girl that keeps stalking you, and the more you push her away the more interested she becomes, because you are acting even more and more interesting to her. Well itís kind of the same mentality that goes on here too. It might sound a bit self-righteous to walk around and (probably falsely) believe that everyone is attracted to you, but the thing is that a belief doesnít have to be true to be helpful (something Sinn taught me a long time ago). Youíll be amazed at the different reactions you get once you start implementing this attitude.

This might be the most important concept that I use. I previously mentioned that I donít like the idea that we should have the mindset that we are of lower value than the girl (in fact, I HATE that mindset and think its utter bullshit).
What you believe your own value is whatís going to make or break your game. I always believe that Iím at the top level of the value chain in any given room. This might or might not be true; it doesnít matter. What is value anyways? Whoís got the most money? The most social proof? Or is it just, and wouldnít that be awesome, what the person himself consider his or her value to be?
Once you start thinking of yourself as high value, a lot of good things will come to you. However it could also turn you into that self-loving prick that everyone hates. It really is a fine line, but Iíll tell you the secret to what it all comes down toÖ itís GIVING value instead of TAKING it. If you like yourself but at the same time provide value for others, then thatís when your game is going to explode.

Another thing that can be a really high value behavior, but easily reach a tipping point and become a low value behavior, is teasing. Confident people tease and are not afraid to tease, but they also know when to draw the line, stop teasing and switch it up by giving compliments. The best guys I know have an uncanny ability to give perfect compliments; the ones that make you feel really good.
So the concept of value is one of the centerpieces in my game. I tease a lot, but I also give girls compliments on the things I think they deserve. I always consider myself to have a lot of value, and Iím not afraid to bring that value to others.

This could easily be a post in of itself, but I just want to address the most important parts of having a strong identity. Itís no secret that a lot of my game is identity driven, and the reason for that is because it allows the girl to (what I like to call) ďsexy stereotypeĒ me. In other words, by having a rockstar identity, I get a lot of things for free (such as pre-selection, social proof etc). Sheís going to assume I have those things, since they are a part of the rockstar identity.But not only that, it also allows me to do what I like to call ďanchoring my attractionĒ. So what I do is that instead of running a bunch of routines that has nothing to do with me and my life, I tell her stories and anecdotes that are based from my identity and thus the attraction she feels for me is tied to my identity. This makes me so much more attractive, not only do I display attractive personal qualities (confidence, taking what I want, passion etc) but I can also back it up with an awesome lifestyle.

Something I do a lot is that I convey a lot of ďidentity valueĒ and then right afterwards I qualify based on the identity value. So for example, Iíll tell them stories about how I feel right before I go on stage (emotional spikes), how I love performing (DHVs) and touring, how Iím fortunate that I can pursue my dreams and ambitions and then I qualify if sheís pursuing her dreams. A qualifying question has an immensely bigger chance of succeeding if you go for it right after you yourself have displayed a lot of value. So whenever Iíve conveyed a lot of value I always switch to a qualifying frame. In fact, I switch to a qualifying frame as soon as I can get away with it. Why? It shows dominance and value, two things that are (almost) always beneficial. Try it and see what it can do for your game.

If you understand the concept of frames (and know how to set them) you are very close to ďseeing the matrixĒ. What I like to do is to set disqualification, value and same night lay frames. I set disqualification frames in a number of ways; I use my body to show slight disinterest at the appropriate times (hard to describe in text, but basically communicates that ďIím calling the shots, Iím the one dominating this interactionĒ even though this isnít a conscious thought process from my side), and I use words to do so too (to build sexual tension and attraction). I set value frames mainly from my inner game and the way I carry myself, and I set same night lay frames by qualifying the girls for certain things (like being non-judgemental, decisive and discrete). If have been in the game for a while now and want to take it to the next level, study the use of frames as this is the key to becoming really good.

This is probably the longest post I've ever written and still it only scratches the surface of my game, but as I mentioned earlier, implement some of the ideas in this post in your own game and see what works for you. To summarize it all, hereís the guide to my game;

Rokker Ďs Model (or How To Game Like a Rock Star);
1) Assume Attraction
2) Tease
3) Convey Identity
4) Qualify on the anchored attraction
5) Tease
6) Convey Identity
7) Put qualification frames
8) Build comfort
9) Seduce

- R