Fearlessness

What is fear? According to Wikipedia: Fear is an emotional response to tangible and realistic dangers. Fear should be distinguished from anxiety, an emotion that often arises out of proportion to the actual threat or danger involved, and can be subjectively experienced without any specific attention to the threatening object. What does it mean to practice fearlessness? Fearlessness means that we will actively practice peace and non violence even when it appears to us that we are being threatened. (Appears is the key word here, by no means do I endorse practicing peace if a guy slaps your gf or throws a punch at youÖ that would be being a pussy and I donít endorse that).

Before we get started it is VERY interesting to note that humans are the only animals who brain is set up so that the region that we experience pleasure is very close to the region we experience violence. This is interesting because when we stimulate one we sometimes will stimulate the other (examples include; BDSM, people who are button pushers, video games, action movies, etc). On a perhaps unrelated note... dolphins are the only animal besides humans that have sex for pleasure and dolphins are known to hold female dolphins hostage and take turns gang raping her. F Snapple fact we got Fader Facts here kids.

What are some common things we fear in pickup? Approaching (this is obvious is what AA is all about but remember from the first paragraph fear should be distinguished from anxiety). Showing our true identity (the #1 reason students leave the set is they run out of things to say and either they are afraid of conveying their true identity or they just donít know how to do it in attractive way). Being rejected (kind of like approaching but at any point through the interaction especially when we are getting validation from her behaviors from our attraction game and would rather leave when the set is going good and on a high note then risk the rejection and loss of validation. This will stunt your pickup growth folks).

How about a few others? One thing I always use to fear was that I wasnít good enough for the girl. I really identified with something Jlaix said in the Jeffy Show; he felt like he was a 5 and he was tricking an 8 into liking him. I felt EXACTLY like that (btw it is a great product and worth watchingÖthat is my honest endorsement I get no money from him or anything like that). I honestly still feel like that sometimes. I feel like, wow really? This is me with this girl? How is that possible?? Then I realize I am a prize and that girl is lucky I am giving her the time of day lol. Itís just still a trip to see how far I have come. Sometimes I get girls and guys are giving me dirty looks (this actually happened in Miami where these 3 losers guys couldnít believe how well I was doing with a 2 set of 8ís) Why? To them I am a 5 so how is a 5 doing what they fear and realize they canít doÖ gaming an 8 and making the 8 love it). We always dislike when we see in others what we donít have in ourselves (jealously and this is a very toxic emotion).Practicing fearlessness requires that when we deal with people we deal with them from a place of love and nonjudgment so that they feel comfortable around us. We must first eliminate the inner game issues that make us scared (of approaching, of not thinking we are good enough or deserve that girl, of being scared to show who we truly are, etc) in the first place. One of the main reasons I write a lot of inner game stuff so well (at least I like to think I do lol) is because growing up I was fucked up. I was really damaged goods (my bootcamp students are starting to learn this as I become more comfortable putting myself in a vulnerable state about my life). I had to spend so much time working on myself, confronting my demons. and breaking out of the victim mentality because I was a slave to that role. (I like having you guys vote for what I will write onÖ so hopefully one day enough people will vote for the victim mentality cause I really want to write about that).

It is not an accident that I have the most reviews of any instructor on the forum, nor it is an accident that people keep using the same adjectives to describe me; genuine, cool, cares about students, warm. That is because I come from a place of love (I know that probably sounds gay but hopefully we can overlook that lol). I want everyone to succeedÖ my only agenda is to be nurturing and give value (Cancer traits for anyone who cares about astrology lol). When I do sets I want to give value and not take it. Girls can sense an agenda a mile away.

Susan Jeffers wrote a great book called feel the fear and do it anyway. One of the key points it talks about is the misinterpretation of anxiety as fear. Remember what our definition of anxiety is: an emotion that often arises out of proportion to the actual threat or danger involved. For example, approaching girls creates a hard wired anxiety in menÖ there is no danger, you are not going to get hurt yet you still feel this because it is hardwired into you. Maybe she should have called the book feel the anxiety and it do anyway (actually I am guessing she took that from Bruce Lee since this is a very famous quote attributed to him).Since fear is a very powerful emotion it can cause us to make illogical decisions. Jungian psychologists talk about this concept called the shadow. The shadow is our dark side and more than a topical treatment of it is outside the scope of this article (though if people like I can write an article just on that because it is fascinating). We tend to project our shadow onto others (a good example of this was the Miami example I gave earlier. Their dark side is one of insecurity and not being able to get the girl they want. When they see someone who they feel is less qualified then them (heh little did those chumps know who I amÖ take that bitches!!!) they react like children by giving me dirty looks.

Why do people project the shadow though? There is one school of thought that says people do this to avoid looking at their unhealed selves. We create adversaries of people because we would rather find a reason to dislike them then to admit that they have something we want (in this case being good with girls, because if I am a 5 in their eyes and am getting the girls they want what does that say about them?)

When we practice being fearless we donít have to create enemies or adversaries in order to feel reassured we are unfortunate victims (fuck that 5Ö I could do what he is doing, he is just getting lucky). Now this is a really weird nuance in the psychological matrix... these people are actually rationalizing talking themselves into a weak victim mentality. What? At first glance this seems weird but actually it is a very sound psychological move (for people who donít know better). By playing victim we can excuse ourselves from making moves we fear or make us anxious. Fader got lucky (subtext therefore I donít have to approach and blow him out). My parents did this to me (subtext therefore I can rationalize xyz and say it is not my fault). I was born short, ugly rich you name the adjective as the reason you canít get the girl. I hope we get the point because THIS IS VERY POWERFUL STUFF I am talking about right here (hence why I am dying to write an article on the victim mentality if you fookers ever vote for it).


Once we come from a place of love and abundance we can finally address our internal demonsÖ the true reasons we are anxious or what we are scared of. Only once have we been honest with ourselves can we really reframe reality and look at things like an opportunity (the opportunity to work on my AA, the opportunity to stay in a social situation even though I am out of material and I am anxious, the opportunity to really connect with a girl that perhaps before you found the community you thought you would never have). I know I have