How to make friends

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Miami Beach, FL

    How to make friends

    I warned you, here you go:

    How to Make Friends

    Help me I don’t have any friends, how do I make friends?
    All my friends are AFCs/Losers/Nerds/Dorks, should I ditch them?
    My friends piss in my Cheerios when I run game!
    And of course,
    I always get AMOGed by my ‘friends’ and they make fun of me, please help!?

    Alright, pretty common questions, and I hear them a lot. Everyone wants to have ‘cool’ friends to hang out with. Friends, that are healthy mix of females and males, Friends that do not cockblock you in sets, friends that understand you, and most importantly friends that WANT to hang out with YOU and not other way around! So where do you get them? You can’t go to grocery store and buy them in bulk! You have to create them.

    I know. Tough, isn’t it?

    Let me tell you why and how I learned to make friends with ease.

    I never went to kindergarten and did not learn essential social skills. In grade school (Elementary school) and middle school, I didn’t have many friends. I was bullied, embarrassed and humiliated every day. I went to city schools, in Ukraine, where it’s not unusual for teachers and counselors to embarrass their students and call them out on their ‘stupidity’. It was pretty rough.

    When I moved to United States, I was 14, and started high school as a freshman. At that time, I could barely able to put a sentence together, in English; I was “that weird foreign guy”. I couldn’t understand anything about American culture, and my high school was filled with prejudice rednecks. They hated foreigners. They hated me. I, would come home, cried. I wanted to go home; at least I could speak in my native language there. It was worst experience ever. I guess, I don’t need to say, that I was virgin too.

    I switched schools again, and started big city school as a junior. It was the worst time to make friends, as all the cliques have been formed, and I got stuck with ‘leftovers’ Again, I had no friends, but now I could speak decent English, so only people who liked me where high school outlanders (Nerds, retards, dorks, ugly people, foreigners, etc.) No popularity = no girls. So, still a virgin….

    College. Again, HUGE 50,000 student-body University: I was lost among the crowd. Me being dorky computer-science-major-guy, with no value to offer, no good looks or muscles on my back, having fucked only two girls which literally fell in my lap by some weird ‘lucky magic’. And now, college girls never looked at me, and I, AGAIN, got stuck hanging out with dorks. On top of that, my high school girlfriend dumped me, for someone else. That’s when I got fed up with this shit and decided to take actions. This is about time I stumbled on first excerpts from this community.

    This is what I learned:

    Perception! People live in world of perceptions. NOTHING IS REAL. Your value is NOT REAL. It’s ONLY A PERCEPTION. It’s like a matrix.

    And matrix is fun to play. So let’s learn how to play social matrix, and play it well.

    First of all: everything starts from within. What are you doing, right now?

    I am going to talk about three out of four stages of your (consensual) life:

    High school – Don’t stress this much. (I’ll say a little bit, because, once you graduate, who cares, who your friends are!? You’ll make new friends in college)

    College – This is where you MUST SHINE! Your entire career will depend on this aspect of your social time line. If you ARE NOT in college, you’re missing 80% of your life experience. This will shape how your life pans out. In college you get second chance to start everything from scratch and do something with your life. Do eeeet!

    Job – Career not a ‘part time’ job. This is also important, because, it’s very easy to fall into routine and get out of touch with social aspect of your life. Most guys get married by the time they graduate college and stop hanging out with friends. It becomes hard for ‘single’ dudes to see their married [pussy-whipped] friends. I am still in college, and I am not married. I don’t really have much to say about that. By then you should already have your social circle established.

    Let’s start with high school:

    PLAY SPORTS! Any kind of sports you can. You’re a MAN and man should play sports. This is adrenaline. If you can’t make it on football team, do wrestling, play basketball, baseball, tennis, at least, play soccer. Everyone can play soccer in US. I wrestled in high school and I LOVED IT. If it wasn’t for wrestling I wouldn’t be able to meet any friends at all.

    JOIN CLUBS. As many as you can! Every high school has clubs. It doesn’t matter if you are in ‘nerdy’ club. It’s not a fucking big deal. The point here is to learn how to socialize. You must interact with and around people to understand people. If you’re on this forum, you ought to be 18, so you have almost a year left before college. Use high school to catch up on your social skills. Talk to everyone. This is your ‘test field’.

    WATCH SPORTS and know major players and big teams. In US it’s Baseball, Football and Basketball, in Europe/Canuck-land add Soccer and Hockey. Either way, know what’s going on. Guys talk about sports all the time; this was big for me, I didn’t understand most of American sport, but I wish I did. I would blank out, when conversations turned to baseball or football.

    LEARN YOUR CLIQUES. Know who’s whose friend. See who’s got beef with who, and why. Try to absorb as much information as you can, but NEVER EVER open your mouth. You can LEARN a lot about people’s insecurities and weaknesses by LISTENING to rumors. When you start realizing that NOBODY is perfect and everyone is afraid of something, talking to these people becomes A LOT less intimidating.

    SOCIALIZE Where do you sit at your lunch table?? In the corner? With dorks? Fuck them. Find the LEAST intimidating cool guy; every high school has one. It’s naturally social dude who really, genuinely, loves everyone. He might not be the coolest crème of the crop, but gotta start somewhere. Sit next to him. Shoot shit with this guy; talk about girls, cars, and sports.

    DON’T EVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT! Don’t worry about your social status. If you show desperation, you lose respect of people around you. If you show anxiousness, you lose confidence. Don’t let them see your weaknesses.

    Enough about high school!

    Let’s focus on College:

    YOUR FIRST DAY: Go to as many freshman-oriented events AS POSSIBLE. Go there even if you’re a sophomore. Almost everyone will be scared and confused by the new environment. Use that to your advantage. They don’t know you. You don’t know them. This is your ONLY chance to start everything from scratch. In high school you might have had ‘bad’ reputation, but in college, you’re given another chance. Don’t fuck it up.

    Campus will provide ‘first year experience’ program for its newcomers. Use it. If there is no such thing, find out what is available.

    LIVE IN A FUCKING DORM! Don’t be a vagina and live with your parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Saving money, blah! blah! blah! Explain to your parents, importance of social life! Explain them that you want to make it on your own and you would want to make friends. I know, sometimes, it might be hard, but you HAVE to live in dorms at LEAST for a year. You will mature faster, learn interpersonal communication, learn how to get along with people (your dorm-mates) and acquire a bag full of wonderful ‘that-time-we-were-drunk’ stories. (check out for more motivational material)

    ONLY first week after move in, it’s OK to meet people in your hall. First week, everyone tends to keep their doors wide open for random ‘strangers to drop in and say “Hi!”. It’s cool. It’s ok and normal. Try to meet and greet girls and guys. Don’t act weird. When I first moved in, I tried to meet everyone “Hi! I am XYZ, you live in this hall (dorm)??” Most people will smile and say “yeah/no”. Shoot some small talk; ‘where you from, what you studying etc etc.’. It’s ok, not the best way to meet people but at least you have ballz to do it!

    TALK TO YOUR ADVISOR! Advisor is there to help your ass succeed. Ask her what clubs and activities are available to students. Some bigger colleges and universities will have social advisors. These guys know what’s going on around campus.

    VOLUNTEER! There are numerous of volunteer organization you should join. A LOT OF HOT CHICKS love to volunteer! There is a logical explanation to that, but who cares, right?

    FLIERS: Always take fliers and try to attend events. Even religious events, free concerts, hippie festivals, arts and crafts shows, etc. ANYTHING. Exposure is essential! You need as much exposure as possible. Get OUT THERE! Don’t sit in your dorm; nobody wants to be next Seung-Hu Cho. Get out! Make friends!

    JOIN A FUCKING FRATERNITY!!!!! YES! I said it. It’s not a “Frat” it’s a FRATERNITY! You want to get laid and become popular? It’s like joining pickup community. In a short period of time, you suddenly have 30-100 people you can relate to. Some fraternities are expensive as top-notch prostitute, but if you can’t afford one, join a smaller one; I would recommend professional fraternity, but social fraternities are good too. I don’t need to tell you how MUCH it will impact your social life. It’s just, great thing! Forget the notion of “Paying for friends”! You don’t. You pay for beer and parties and house… not your friends. The whole “paying for friends” bullshit was created by nerdy and dorky losers who couldn’t get into fraternity; you’re not one of them are you?? Haha! (shit test!)

    FIRST YEAR: DO NOT OVERLOAD YOURSELF That’s right. You have 4-5 years to graduate. And I don’t want to hear none of that NON-sense: “Oh I just wanna get my bachelors degree in 3 years!!!” No! College only comes ones in your life. Once you get into real life with real job and real world problems, you will regret that ‘accelerated 3-year program’. ENJOY IT! You’re never too old for college and fun. Take minimum load required. TRUST ME on this one. You might be capable of doing more, but you need to build yourself socially first; you need time for sarging, socializing, studying, drinking, partying, fucking, getting blow jobs, fucking some more, going out with multiple girls, did I say fucking? Anywho, don’t overload yourself with academia at first.

    So I covered DO’s and DON’T’s of college life, let’s talk about actual people and how to make friends.

    There are several basic guidelines in order to influence people.

    1.Don’t trust people too much. More they know about you, more vulnerable and weak you seem to them. Withhold very deep and personal information you don’t want people to know. Your fears and insecurities; your community membership or the fact you’re learning ‘the game’. Don’t trust people to “accept you for who you are”
    2.Be adaptable. But it doesn’t mean bend backwards. Just learn how to ‘not care’ for something you cannot control. If it’s interfering with your goals, cut it out. Bad friends are not your friends. If your friend, Johnny, kills your game, or pushes you in the wrong direction (read: drugs, alcohol), cut him out.
    3.Play on people’s emotions. This is where great story-telling skills will help you acquire larger social circle. You need to learn how to stir up emotions in people. A little agitation followed by flood of positive emotions will go long ways. Be a little bit stubborn at times, this creates emotional rollercoaster and works well, especially with female friends. Create a little bit of tension; you want to be ‘talked about’; any publicity is good publicity, well, it’s not true all the time, but you should be shooting for neutral towards positive publicity. People need to have ‘feelings’ about you.
    4.NOT ALL GIRLS ARE FUCKABLE even hot ones. Make a point to make some HOT girl friends that you do not want to fuck. Having hot girls that want to hang out with you will raise your value ten-fold. In order to make friends with girls, turn down the game and focus on comfort building. It doesn’t matter if she is sexually attracted to you or not, who cares, you’re not trying to fuck her, are you??? You should still tease her a bit, but give her more chance to talk and express herself. You need girls as friends, they will help you sarge later on. I don’t see a point of explaining this again; if it didn’t come to you now, it’ll come later.
    5.Take active leadership among your friends. Always know where to go, what to do, and where to get dinner. Never have “umm whatever you guys wanna do, I don’t care!” attitude. If leadership role is vacant someone will take it before you’d get a chance to blink an eye. Almost all these guidelines are based on act of leadership. Take responsibility as well.
    6.Befriend the leader of the group. Not just in sets, but anywhere. Every group has a leader; you should come at him with an equal attitude: He is a leader of his group and you’re leader of your group. Game recognizes game, remember that.
    7.Learn how to mix and match friends. Merge your social circles. If you create a mesh of linked friendships you will realize two things: a) it’s a small fucking world, b) you will be deeply rooted in your social circle.
    But be careful, because you can run into problems when there are kinks within your circle. It’s bad idea to introduce your preppy friends to your goth friends. Even though you must be dynamic and you should be able to hang out with ANY kind of crowd, not all people are “dexterous” as you. Some of your best friends could be total haters. You can’t avoid inner conflict, but never put yourself in the middle of it.
    8.Act appropriate but think on your own. Do not try to go against the grain and form your own counter-culture. Nobody likes outcasts. There are ways to stand out in your social circle with positive aspects instead of negative ones. If your lifestyle is radically different from the one of majority, you’ll find it hard to relate to people. Such is the truth, people judge books by their covers. Tough shit.
    9.Make your achievements seem effortless. (Straight from Robert Green’s book). This is gold. Nobody needs to know that you stayed up studying for physics exam all night. Everything is easy to you. People will flock around you just to learn how to be like you. Psychologically, everyone wants ‘easy money’, ‘easy girls’, ‘easy fame’, easy you-name-it’. If you can achieve that ‘easy you-name-it’ or if it seems like you can, soon you’ll have a fan-club. You should NEVER bitch and complain about your problems. Your life is living dream. Your success comes effortlessly! You live in paradise!
    10.Sell people dreams. This is very big. Especially, with girls. I can really write a book talking about this! Bottom line: people want to live in a fantasy land. Have you ever met a person, whose first impression completely swiped you off your feet? It could have been that “natural PUA” or “guy with cool shit” or “guy with many hot girls around him” or whatever it was you really-really admired about him? BE THAT GUY! You want to imprint yourself in people’s minds, that one day, you might impact their lives in a VERY positive way. Create high hopes for the future. It’s amazing how much you can ‘sell’ by selling the dream first. People seek epiphanies and life-changing situation. Because, one day, someone can come into their lives and make them happy and change their lives for good!... yeah, I know.
    11. Always be the dealer. Think poker: what position is the best to play? The “button”, of course, because you’re the last one to bet. You know what people are betting! You can almost guess what kind of cards they have.
    Give people choices that are in your favor. “Josh, we can do A or we can do B” (where both A and B are favorable to you); even though Josh might want to do C, but it wasn’t part of the choice. When given a choice, people tend to feel false sense of freedom. Most indecisive people will fall into that trap, and while this shows leadership, you’re establishing yourself as a confident person as well. Also, make people wait on you and take your time with delivering your decision. For example, when someone asks me to do something, I usually reply “John, I’ll get back to you tomorrow. I have to check few things”. Meanwhile, John lives rest of the day, night and entire day tomorrow wondering what my answer would be. The more they think about you, the more they like you. Works well, especially, with women.
    12.Disappear for a while and re-charge yourself. Shut your cell phone off, sign off your messenger and vanish for few days. Give your friends gift of missing you. It helps, if you left a memorable impression right before leaving. Best is to let them hang, waiting, on your decision or contact. Keep things in suspense; keep them guessing what you’re going to do next. Often, don’t answer phone, and wait till they leave voice mail. Call back, few hours later, if not-urgent matter. You’re busy guy.
    13.“INFECTION: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky” (R. Greene) Shit rubs off on you. Your whining ‘emo’ suicidal friends will destroy your life. Don’t hang out with people that are chronically depressed. Don’t hang out with people that get in trouble all the time. Your friends influence your decisions. That’s law of social dynamics. Don’t let rotten people influence you. You don’t have to be mean to these people, just tell them the truth “Listen, you’re so depressed and so whiney, I can’t deal with this; Cheer up, if you can’t, try to find out how, meanwhile, I have a lot of work to do, sorry, buddy!” Be firm, confident and unapologetic. On the same note, never be that “depressed and whiney” person either. Again, you live in paradise, all your success is effortless, and why would you be depressed, anyways????
    14.Make Other People Come to You: Another great law from “48 Laws of Power”. Get your friends to pick you up, drive you places, bring you stuff, invite you to parties, give you free shit, buy you lunch, etc. And all you have to do is ask. I got into habit of asking restaurant clerks to hook me up with free shit. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. You will be amazed how difficult it is for some people to say “NO!” … For example: to waitress: “Hey, could you hook me up with a (free) drink? ”. To a bouncer: “Hey, man, forgot to swing by ATM, could you hook me up with no cover?” To a friend: “Hey, come pick me up, we’ll go get some Chinese” Make people do you favors or come to you. Another good way to do create that affect is by body language. In a restaurant sit in the center of the table, in photos stand in the middle, at a bar, turn your back to the bartender, facing outside, while your friends stand there talking TO you. Never forget the magical “hey, come for a second, please” phrase. Works 9 out of 10 times. Stand in confident stance, places where people have to say “Excuse me!” to get by; if you’re in a bar, turn to a person, smile and in high energy cheerful voice say: “sup man, having good time tonight?!”
    I send out mass text messages when I go out “Hey, few friends are meeting me at XYZ, you should come up too!”. That’s DHV! I have friends coming to meet me at XYZ (cool place) and I am inviting *you* along!
    15.AND my favorite LAW: “Create Compelling Spectacles”! This is using Social Proof Part II you’ve been waiting for!

    This shit ties into making friends and nicely tops off my first article. If you read my Creating Social Proof Part I, you can use that knowledge for anything, not necessarily for clubs and bars. The pieces change, but the game is still the same. In restaurant it might take you a little longer to get to know the management, but you can follow the same steps. Here is a hint on how to get to know the manager in your favorite food joint. After waitress brings you the bill, tell her you’d like to speak to a manager. (Helpful hint, ALWAYS ask your waitress’ name as soon as she starts serving you). She will get the manager, fearing you have to complain about her. Not so! When manager gets there and introduces himself, say pretty loud: “Geroge, Ashley here is wonderful waitress, I’ve been coming here for n-months but I was truly impressed. I just wanted to complement her efforts, because, I know not many people take time to pass genuine appreciation down to the manager.” << sounds like straight brown nosing but that’s what managers like to hear. They want to hear how well they are doing and how well they train their ‘bitches’ . He’ll probably give you a business card and if you’re lucky coupon or some gay shit like that. You can use this time to shoot some small talk with him, ONLY if it’s not busy. Next time you’re in, and he is working, shake his hand. Ask him how he’s doing and you’re on your way to building greater social proof!


    Let’s talk about Using Social Proof Part II

    If you done your homework and you have built decent social proof around places you frequent, you need to capitalize on it. Granted, getting free drinks and food is nice, but it doesn’t really help you in ‘getting laid’ department.

    Time to play the spectacle! It’s Friday night, call up your friends, and few potential targets. Tell them to meet you at XYZ club/bar. Head to the bar earlier and position yourself in the middle of the bar. By now you should be friends with bartender and have no trouble pushing small talk with her. Do that. Also, you should know at least 80% of staff by their first names (including other bartenders, promoters, bouncers, waitresses, dj’s and go-go dancers). You should, as well, know all the regulars at that bar. It was your homework, if you followed my first article, within 3-6 months you should have networked that well.

    So your friends, typically, one by one, start showing up at XYZ club/bar. Immediately, you introduce them to bartenders; and you “order” a round of drinks. (Even if you’re not getting hooked up, it’ll look good on you, because, bartender won’t say anything) Then, offer your friend to sit next to you. Shoot some shit; wait for other friends to arrive. After you have crowd of 2-4 of mixed friends surrounding you, get up and say “hey guys, let’s go meet some of my other friends”

    And you should be on the roll. Make them meet the bouncer. It’s very normal for bouncer to have two or three hot babes buzzing around his area, like maggots near a flashlight. Open them. Introduce yourself; tell them you’re good friend of Bill-the-bouncer. Introduce your friends to these girls. Merge sets; isolate your coolest friend of the pack, and eject with him. Game is not done, you’re just warming up. (Bouncer is a good warm up set, because, he is the least of your concerns to make good impression) Now you got your ‘buddies’ occupied, time to sarge. Look for non-regular girls. These are ones that came there for first time, or do not know anyone on staff, (hint: Bachlorette parties are the best, because, good portion of girls in the party, don’t get out much), run your standard opener on them. Ask them if they know anyone in here. (You can also say “Hey, do you know Ashley James?”… “No? “ “What? You don’t know Ashley James? She’s like the coolest DJ in this club, let’s go meet her, you guys will love her!” (If Ashley is NOT dj-ing, at the moment, of course, walk over and introduce her to the set, if she is busy, pick another girl on staff). This should blow your social value through the roof. Your dj/promoter will most likely be in her/his “set”, or doing “the rounds” greeting ‘friends’. So you have to act quickly and introduce him/her to your new Bachlorette party set.
    Meanwhile, your friends will blow themselves out of the set you left them with, so you need to rescue them, before it’s too late. After you successfully merged Bachlorette party set with a dj/bartender/promoter’s set (they will always surrounded by people), you can safely eject. Now you created a social proofed merge; now time to ‘get back to your friends’. You can leave your wingman in the merged set if you want to. You can always rely on promoter to ‘suck the other set in’ because that’s what they do for living: meeting new people.

    Ideally, you should have one or more of your potential targets showing up at the bar. If she does, you need to do the same thing for her (them). Introduce these girls to everyone, even guys you just met. Unlikely, any guys will be able to steal your targets (you should have more than one), if she came there to ‘see you’. Unless, of course, he’s Savoy and you’re Mystery

    I don’t buy girls drinks, but I will tell them to drink with me. “Hey, come with me, we’re taking a shot, my friend Brenda is hooking me up ” . Whether Brenda is hooking you up or not, she should know you well enough, that she can trust you and put it on your tab without making a fucking big deal out of it. (READ: Her not being a dumb bitch and asking you, in front of your target, “ON YOUR TAB???”) lol She knows you have a tab. You can pay entire thing at the end of the night.


    That’s what you should be talking about almost as soon as your friends get to the bar. You have to refer to it as AFTER PARTY, even if it’s like two three dudes drinking at your pad. Promoters and bartenders always have after party, so keep your ears open. Some places open after hours, not in Midwest, but in big cities.

    You invite ONLY hot girls to after party and your coolest friends. DJs, bartenders, bouncers, managers, typically have kick ass after parties, but if you are comfortable with illegal drugs (not just weed), go for it, and you might find yourself in situation where a threesome is possible.

    Ok, I covered, what to do to gain maximum exposure to outside world.
    I talked about basic human psychology and how you can use it to gain rapport with people
    I touched on benefits of Social Proof to ‘game’ your outside circle,

    Let’s talk about what to do with your “dorky friends” that seem to bring you down.

    When I first got in the game: I wanted to ditch all my friends and start from scratch; well, it’s hard to do, because, they are there, they expect you to call, they stop by, unannounced, they frequent places you visit, and they know your other friends. So it’s virtually impossible to ditch your old friends, unless you relocate to a new city.

    You have few options:

    Option A: Slowly and gradually make new friends and move away from ‘old’ friends. This falls under golden rule “Fat girls are like mopeds, they are fun to ride, until your friends see you on them”. So, if your cooler friends start seeing you hanging out with ‘dorks and losers’ they will assume you’re dork and loser yourself and lose respect for you. (Ironically, these ‘cool’ friends will NEVER be your best friends).

    Actually let me throw a quick disclaimer here: There are friends and there are BEST FRIENDS. You make your best friends through long time. This is the kind of friend who will go bat for you and stick up for you, will respect any decision you make.

    Everything else is just acquaintances. They are there for show. You bring them around, do everything I listed above, play on their emotions, and create certain clout around yourself for them to believe in. These people would rarely stick up for you. It’s important you make that distinction about people that surround you.

    You’ll make true friends through first becoming acquaintances with them, and only after being through hell and heaven, you truly bond with each other. (Yeah, sounds pretty Brokeback, doesn’t it?)

    Ok, back to the options, so one is to shift slowly from ‘dorky’ to ‘cool’ friends. But it’s not the ideal option, the second option is to

    Completely shut all your ‘dorky friends’ out and start hanging out in new places where you wont run into them….

    Well, I learned that it’s best to use combination of the two.

    You manage your time with your friends wisely. First, I have several different group of friends that I don’t mix. Why? Because, they have different mentalities and outlooks on life. I spend a day or two with one group of friends (or just friend or two) and next three days with another group of friends. I RARELY stay at home. Maybe this why my phone is running out of space in my Contact Book!

    After a while, you’ll get a knack for assessing person, after you just met him. You’ll talk to him for a minute, and instantly will know that he’ll get along with Josh, Erik, Joe or Bob, but would hate to hang out with Nicole, Tom or Matt. You almost have to categorize your buddies.

    I have few categories: Guys that would get drunk and act stupid. Naturally, I don’t’ invite them anywhere my reputation might be at stake, Guys that will try to steal my targets but fun to get drunk with, (speaks for itself), dudes I only go sarging with, girls I can call for a fuck, girls I can call for advice, girls I can call and go shopping, guys I can call and go get some dinner with, mixed group of friends I can invite if I have to pull a party out of my ass, and on and on. These categories overlaps, and some of my friends fall into many different categories.

    So I am getting philosophical. Let’s do practical section:


    SPORTS, CARS, GIRLS are three most easiest topics to open guys with.

    A hot girl’s walking by, in hallways, while you’re waiting for class. Wait until she passes you, LOOK AT HER PERKY ASS and look at the guy with “daaaamn!” UNLESS HE’S COMPLETE FAG, he’ll say the same, or give you knowing nod.
    Open him with, “that was nice! Brighten my day for sure!!! “ …
    “No shit!”
    “Yeah. … what class you waiting on?”

    Conversation becomes easy after that. He is not intimidated by thoughts that you might be hitting on him.

    In Bars and Clubs it’s easy to open guys with sport related questions. Almost any season of the year, some sport will be happening. “did you see Yankees destroy Boston last night?” or “Steelers are doing pretty good this season”. You say that to a guy at a bar, and you’re in.

    Cars is a good topic for follow up, in case your opinion differs on who’s better quarterback, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady…. Ask him what kind of car he drives, tell him what kind of car you want to drive;

    Computers are another good topic among guys, but you can’t really talk about it in mixed sets. Girls feel left out and you sound like dorks. (For some weird reason conversation about cars, football and beer does not have the same effect on girls).

    I have pretty wide variety of topics I can talk to guys about. Real estate, stock market, economy, Start up and Entrepreneurship; I learned to spot what works best.

    So, what do you need to do to make more friends: If you could skip entire post and read just this:
    • if you’re in high school, don’t sweat it. Play sports, join clubs, and sit with ‘cool’ kids at lunch
    • if you’re in college, freshman or not, GET OUT! GO OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! You don’t have to drink, but get out of your apartment
    • Exposure to public will give you momentum to meet new friends. There is NO FUCKING way you can join few clubs, play some sports, attend events, concerts and festival and not make ANY friends. No fucking way!
    • In college join a fraternity or fraternal organization. You don’t pay for friends, you pay for life-long memorable experience, beer, house and parties. It’s well worth it!!!
    • Pace yourself! Don’t overstress first year with academics. You need to stay in school and stay social.
    In general, people tend to fall into psychological patterns. Learn how to use them:

    Don't trust people too much
    Be adaptable but don't bend backwards
    Play on peoples emotions (create excitement and anticipation)
    NOT ALL GIRLS are fuckable (even hot ones). Learn to make girl friends
    Take active leadership in life and with friends
    Befriend leaders of other groups
    Learn how to mix and match friends (be flexible)
    Act appropriate but think on your own
    Make your achievement of great success seem effortless
    Sell people dreams
    Always be the dealer (Give people your 'cards' to play with)
    Disappear for a while and re-charge
    Avoid Unhappy and Unlucky
    Make other people come to you
    DEMONSTRATE!!! Create Compelling Spectacles!

    Use what you have built. Use your friends to make more friends! Introduce your friends to people you just met and other way around. Create tight mesh of people knowing each other and surround yourself with them.

    Make a significant distinction between TRUE BEST FRIENDS and Acquaintances. Learn how to build both.

    Finally, OPEN GUYS! Meet guys and girls, but don’t neglect to talk to everyone.

    I am getting tired. Most likely I have some spelling errors. Fuck it, I proof read it couple times.


    Robert Green “Art of Seduction”
    Robert Green “98 Laws of Power”
    Dale Carnegie “How to win friends and influence people”
    Joel Bauer “How to persuade people who don't want to be persuaded”
    Michael Brooks “Instant Rapport”

    Some topics you should read about, at least understand it enough so you can speak about it:
    Sports: Football, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey (both, pro and college)
    Money: Real Estate, Stock Market, Marketing, Sales, Global Economy, Mortgage Industry,
    Technology: New gadgets (iPhone), computers and software, breakthrough tech
    Music: Bands, Genre, Lead Singers of major bands, popular hit list, some lyric
    Movies: Actors, Actresses’ names, which movie played, producers, classics
    Health/Science: (not so essential): recent development in disease cure, news, Men’s health, fitness, weight lifting, diet.
    Cars: Know most of the major parts, know how to change your tire, ability to answer question: “How do you replace fuel injector in a car with a carburetor?” haha
    Fashion: have sense of what’s in style, best for women to men conversations.
    Art: know thing or two about different style of painting, performing art and theatre

    This list goes on and on, but these are main topics.

    For most you can go to and read what’s going on;

    Another good thing about expanding your horizons is that you start noticing you have more in common with people around you. Suddenly, you find yourself passionately talking about real estate, when you never knew you cared for it. Some people we draw you into deep conversations about things you never cared for.

    I never cared for history, but some guy, I met at coffee shop, was studying Roman history and the way he was talking about it, got me interested, and I decided to read a book or two about it.

    PM me if you have any questions.

  2. #2

    I am new but have been noticing that TrueStory's posts are so valuable, thanks for the contributions man.

    Also, I went through some of the exact same things you did - sucky high school and college period, being somewhat of a geeky student and a foreigner... (btw, the high school friends indeed don't even matter much as you mentioned)
    And it's interesting how you've come up with some fairly accurate/dependable suggestions despite having only a so-so college life yourself.

    guys, get an early start if you can with these college tips - definitely organize your life with socializing as one of the priorities... (while trying to maintain decent grades, more or less. don't overdo either parties or academics; balance.)


  3. #3


    Only thing I disagree with, cuz if you live in a dorm you are expected to do a full course load. And most dormitories are a giant DLV in college. If you say to a sorority chick you live in a dorm she will laugh at you (unless its right next to frat row, which is where I lived ) with living off of campus its cheaper, you can do a part time course load, and it demonstrates better value.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Vulture629 View Post

    Only thing I disagree with, cuz if you live in a dorm you are expected to do a full course load. And most dormitories are a giant DLV in college. If you say to a sorority chick you live in a dorm she will laugh at you (unless its right next to frat row, which is where I lived ) with living off of campus its cheaper, you can do a part time course load, and it demonstrates better value.
    No, Living in a dorm is a MUST. I know someone who has graduated collage and said he wish's he lived in a dorm. You make a lot of friends living in a dorm.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Miami Beach, FL

    Quote Originally Posted by Vulture629 View Post

    Only thing I disagree with, cuz if you live in a dorm you are expected to do a full course load. And most dormitories are a giant DLV in college. If you say to a sorority chick you live in a dorm she will laugh at you (unless its right next to frat row, which is where I lived ) with living off of campus its cheaper, you can do a part time course load, and it demonstrates better value.
    Living in a dorm is only for meeting friends. That's the SOLE purpose of living in the dorm.

    It's part of college experience;

    Also, you can take minimum course load and still be full time. (for my college it's like 12 credit hours per quarter)

    You don't tell girls you live in the dorm.

    Yeah living "off-campus" (walking distance) is better, but dorm is fun. Shit load of fun! You meet many cool people in dorms.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Miami Beach, FL

    Quote Originally Posted by Vulture629 View Post
    Also, you can take minimum course load and still be full time. (for my college it's like 12 credit hours per quarter)

    Thats weird, at Florida State to live on campus you gotta take 15 hours per semester. I haven't done that in 3 years...but then again I changed my major so now I'm on the 8 year plan

    Oh and to keep a scholorship you gotta take 15 credits/semester
    That's true. The guidelines are not to be followed like a bible. Open to interpretation.

    Healthy balance is what it really comes down to. A lot of guys, coming out of high school, are unbalanced and their 'social skills' are behind. So you gotta crack down on that in order to catchup and reach equilibrium

  7. 02-12-2008, 06:27 AM

  8. 10-23-2009, 03:05 PM


  9. 03-10-2010, 09:12 PM

  10. 07-21-2010, 06:15 AM

    Please feel free to pm TS the thanks

  11. 02-06-2011, 12:40 PM

    please pm the oroginal poster

  12. Hey TrueStory, your Inbox is full and it is not possible to contact you. so I will type it here.

    As this is the article that basically brought me to this whole community, and you are like my idol, I really relate to your thinking process, I would like to ask you one thing.

    I am at college and am trying to change my social living.

    I realized, that when you go outside, try to get girls or even talk to your male friends you have to play this "social theater". I have always thought that it is immature and unnatural to act this way, but when you play this theater, everything is just going well, compared to when people find you boring with your logical thinking.

    But I have a tendency to slip back and stop playing the theater sometimes, because I am not totally convinced it is the right thing.
    I want to ask you, a more experienced guy, do you also have this feeling like you are playing a social theater when you are outside? Do you think it is necessary to play the theater till the rest of our life? Is it really that important in life???
    I am ready to start playing this "social theater" every day from now on, I just need words from someone more experienced to assure me.

    Thanks for the reply, Also feel free to check my blog, it's full of my deep thoughts

  13. #8


  14. I do have to say, while some of this is true, there are alternatives to what you suggest.

    For men, IMO, your early twenties is NOT your best years. Yes, if you can get tons of action, etc, friends, it's all great. But at the end of the day, men need something tangible and real. You may have the best game, best pickup lines, and feel like a million bucks but if you earn $8 an hour at McDonald's when you graduate because you only took blowoff classes in college, what good does that do for you as a man? And let's assume you keep your pua game up for few more years, then what? If your only goal in life is make minimum wage or barely minimum wage while picking up as many chicks as possible, then whatever. But I think there is more to being a man than picking up. And with confidence, a man who is accomplished and good at what he does will truly have confidence, not some illusion of self inflated confidence. Anyways, if your goal is to only pickup, then this may not apply to you. But I think life needs balance, a man needs to be balanced and good at many things. I think people will regret not working hard enough when they are young and spent too much chasing tail than the other way around. There is plenty of time to sleep with quality women, especially if you have a successful career on top of it.

  15. I think social sites is also good idea for making friend.

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