Defeating over-obsession
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  1. #1

    Defeating over-obsession

    Ok guys, as this is my first GF I faced with the problem of over-obsessing. It seems that I could cut it altough it might reoccur, I don't know yet still needs some testing.

    So some background: I have her for 3 mounths now. At the begining I started as let's do this for fun. And then I got to know her better and happend that she did meet the qualities I like in a women. So I became more and more obsessed(I did not have any material bought at this time). Then I begun to fear for losing her and I became jelous. Then this strange feeling developed in me feeling: desperate, jelous, suspicious, angry and confused. Nice combination of negative feelings. Ok it drove me half crazy. Then I begun to over-analise everything even when being with her. {place for laughter}
    So as this was driving me crazy I met her and told her all about seduction, how I feel for her, and that I can't take this, we might should break up. Of course she said that she is glad to see my weak part and that breaking up is like running away (which is let's confess: true). Of course next day she couldn't meet me. How suprising.
    In the meantime I said that enough I have to solve this.

    Here is what I did:

    1) Most important. I BOUGHT THE VENUSIAN ARTS HANDBOOK. This was a really good choice I made. In the first 4 chapters I understood everything.

    2) I told my GF that I can't meet her for a couple of days(for shit reasons as I have a lot of work to do or whatever the fuck you can imagine). Now this was another good choice. Not only I had some time to forget but I also prevented myself from making things worse. Most importantly I had time to field test and to calibrate. As my inner game grew stronger I could advance to step 3.

    3) I read this classic writing of Future: Nobody likes you
    Classic writings of Bad boy: Relationship Tips(3some..etc), Confidence & Leadership

    4) I met her today. Put in use everything I knew but with one real purpose: to learn not to be affected. Well I have to admit that not being affected is a really powerful attraction switch.

    In detail:

    Before buying VAH I had no solid material but all kind of ideas from all kind of seduction sites. It lead me a way for some time, but I ran to dead end. Buying VAH was defenetly the best idea in my whole life as a PUA. It really covers the whole topic of mating. Of course I hear that there are better products like Magic bullets but for me VAH did the trick too.
    Winning some time for myself was a nice thing. It did give me time to enhance my personality, root out negative feelings, get calibration. As VAH said I embraced my personality accepting what I like and what I don't. First I fought with this strange obsession then I accepted that I love with passion. There is nothing to do about it. I CLEARLY STATE THAT IT IS NOT ONEITIS!!! SO ALL YOU GUYS HAVE ONEITIS STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW! The field gave me opportunity to build new skills from VAH. At this time my inner game started to get back to normal and the negative feelings started to fade away. I personally recommend to do at least 3 approaches per day to loosen obsession.
    (I have to confess that I did call my GF once a day just to test some of my ideas in that stressed environment)
    Ok then I decided to take a look at the forum. I was browsing among the classic writings the I found the 3 I was talking about. They are really good for your game.
    So today. - The meantime I was quite busy so it just happened that I could meet her today or Monday (today is Wednesday). - She came over. I thought it is a great time to test my skills generally and to enhance my weakest point of the game: being unaffected. I was also focusing on keeping my value higher than her's using negs and some DHV. Things went fine, she wanted to take my shirt with her (yeah like I would give my shirts to every women who askes, I would have no shirts right now, and i told her this) and this was congurance test as well, I got a lot of them today from her. She was keen to see me earlier than Monday so I told her to visit me at work Saturday. Some info I did not fuck her today, I think fucking her again so early would bring back my depression.

    To the end some basic ideas that helped me:

    +The process of learning: You have an idea. You go test it. You observe the reaction. You take the useful stuff and root out the useless! (pretty much like how the evolution works)

    +Don't take life so seriosly. Approaching women and messing up sets is not a life or death situation. It is not like walking among bullets is it?

    +Don't try to test everything at once! Test 2-3 things at the same time. As they are improved you can add more.

    +Add cool and fun things to your life. This way you'll have much more fun and have greater energy for sets.

    +Credit to Future: Live the life YOU want!

    +As I am religious: Credit to God...

    Ok guys hope this helps a few. Feedback is welcome.
    I created this because I really like my girlfriend and I didn't want to loose such a great person because of my own stupidity. For the rest of guys who try my stuff, don't do this to get "this girl" use this for self improvement and to be happy.

    May the vibe be with you.
    Last edited by Licence for Love; 08-01-2007 at 02:49 PM. Reason: left some things out and some correction

  2. #2

    Don't be afraid to open your attraction up to other women even if you don't get their number. That'll reduce the amount of jealousy because you'll start feeling that there are other options there for you. When you feel there's no options it can crush you. When you open everything up about you and she breaks up with you (or makes you break up with her), it hurts a lot.

    The first real girlfriend is the one that's prob. the hardest to get over.

  3. #3

    hi this is probs old and dead but wanted to say that i am starting to develop this over-obsession, with this gal i am with i feel that she no longer cares. but as you said time away iz the key to start with. it's nice to know that there is someone out there with the same problem, glad you sorted it out !

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Have options and Realize that you create options. The world is not in short supply of women. Be a better man and get better women. Progress.


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