Qualification 101

The following is reposted from the New York Lair... It's a primer worth reading for old and new students alike:


So how do we qualify appropriately? First of all, questions suck. Questions are innately an attempt to build rapport, especially when they come from the AFC Uber Routine: Where are you from, what do you do, where did you go to college? When possible, make statements, especially statements that assume the opposite of the obvious. When done correctly, you can even phrase it in the boring way, but it's delivered under the shield of interesting conversation.

AFC: "Where are you from?"

[Future is talking to a girl with dark black skin and an obvious African accent.]
Future: I know EXACTLY where you're from?
Girl: Oh yeah?
Future: Totally... you're Korean.
[Girl laughs.]
Girl: You got it!/ Noooo./ Nooo... I'm from Nigeria.
Future: Ha, ha, no seriously: where are you from?/ Okay, I give up: where are you from?/ Awesome!
[Girl blows Future.]


Yes, there's more.
Knowing that questions are bad, mmkay, you then ask the questions along the following lines. This isn't brain surgery. This is what you do anyway when you like a girl and she's living up to your standards:

The question or attempt to infer data.
"Where are you from?"

Her answer.
"I'm from Nigeria."
Note that ANY answer is good, as long as it's honest. The answer doesn't matter unless you're actually screening for your own real standards. Even an earnest, thoughtful silence is better than a blow-off answer.

A compliment based around the answer.
"Oh, yeah? That's amazing. I love Nigerian women; there's something very honest and direct about them..."

A slight defusing comment intended to alleviate the tension from the compliment.
"...So can't even talk to you anymore!"

Compliments, especially to beautiful women, feed the validation meter like air into a balloon. You fill that balloon too full, and the balloon pops. That's why you need to release from compliments during qualification. Your goal-- and this usually happens in comfort-- is to reach a point when you can simply compliment her when she is qualified; the release is a relic of your being a stranger (it follows thus that the release is used less in social circles than in cold or lukewarm approachees).

A conversational thread based on your qualification.
"My mom is actually in Nigeria doing mission work; when was the last time you went to Nigeria?"

If you only Bait, Hook, Reel, Release, you risk sounding like you're interviewing her, especially if they'r all in question form. By asking rapport-building questions after making her qualify herself, it grounds the qualification in your own life, reality, and desires, and it also avoids the interview perception. Moreover, it's how everyone who's ever run successful qualification was already doing it. It makes sense. You say something, girl says something you like in response, you talk about it for a little while until you qualify again.


Okay, one more list.
Hoops. Each hoop she jumps through indicates her overall level of attraction for you; each hoop demands correspondingly high value. To wit, imagine how you would react when a bum asked you these questions versus how you would react to the same interrogation from, say, Bill Gates.

Small Hoops
No shit questions that beget "yes" answers 99% of the time. If she doesn't answer or says no, you have ZERO attraction and should probably kill yourself because you're creeping girls out.
"Do you consider yourself an intelligent person?"
"Are you adventurous?"

Medium Hoops
Questions specific to her that require no actual thought. Most questions from the AFC Uber Routine fall here.
"Where are you from?"
"What do you do?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"

Large Hoops
Questions specific to her that require a small or considerable degree of thought and insight.
"What do you have going for you more than your looks?"
"If everyone here looked exactly like you, how would you stand out?"


And back to you:
"I think the magic question in order to calibrate your approach before you open a set is:

Is her value, higher or lower than mine?

If she is sitting on the steps of Union Sq alone and you are sitting on the steps on union sq alone. Then chances are you will have the same value."

How the FUCK can you tell? Hot girls are insecure. Hot girls in Union Square could have their guard down or be thinking about God Knows What. What she can be reasonably sure of is a.) you are a dude and b.) you want to fuck her. This is why we assume lower value, because you are coming to her with something you want from her. She assumes this because thousands and thousands and thousands of sets have taught her as much. If she's alone in the park, it might not take wizardry to convince her otherwise, but you MIGHT want to see what she thinks of you first.

How? The A3 you derided. You ask baiting questions that compel her to qualify herself. She answers, she's attracted, at least a little. "Before A2?" Sure. You're opening with, "Hi!"

So here's what I do.
[Walking over with perfect body language, because I'm fucking gangster.]

Future:Hi, I'm Future. I'm actually on my way home, but I had to come find out your name.

[Compliance Test and Qualification. Direct Opener sacrifices value telegraphing interest, but confidence somewhat equalizes. This also saves time, which most of us in NYC don't have enough of.]

Girl: I'm Rachel.

Future: Awesome. And what's the best thing about Rachel?

[If she's attracted, she'll answer or try. It's a calibrated response. If she's not into it, I'll neg, maybe do an opinion opener, transition with C's vs. U's or some such, and if she's still not into it, I'll do something outrageous for my own amusemnent; maybe punch her hard in the baby-maker. Then I walk away. If she's interested, I continue my schtick.]