How to react

Thread: How to react

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  1. How to react

    My wife and I separated in January after 14 years. She felt like marriage and kids are keeping her from "realizing her dreams". I was devastated. I love my wife and I put up with a lot of things that I shouldn't have to try to make things work. We rarely argued, but we rarely discussed what was going on between us. She had been diagnosed as being bi-polar and had some depression issues. I got into some pretty serious depression myself, but I tried to maintain our relationship because that is the way I was raised and I wanted our kids to have a complete family. Well, this is pretty much a done deal now so I've been dating around, using game to rebuild my confidence and social skills. A couple of weeks ago I picked up a friend on myspace who is the ex-wife of one of my best friends. They've been divorced for 7 years and their marriage ended almost the same way as mine with her spouse having a lot of infidelity issues and such. This girl is a solid 9 with at least a 12 personality. A definite keeper. She suggested that we share a drink and talk over old times. When I met her at the bar, I fully expected this to be a LJBF relationship, but within minutes of us sitting down together, we both realized there was something there. I've seen her a couple of times since and I haven't let this get to a sexual stage yet, but I know this could go as far as I will let it go. I don't believe in love at first sight and I intend for this to go slow and deliberate, but wow. The thing about this is everyone I have talked to, including my wife who knows her and my ex-wife from 15 years ago who also knows her, my older kids, friends and family have all given me an endorsement for this girl. All of them know her and are just crazy about her. My wife sent me an e-mail last night telling me that if I want to bring this new girl around the kids that she is fine with it because she "knows Honey (her real name) and she is really cool and you deserve someone like her". Am I missing something or is this a too good to be true situation. I don't want this to be a rebound thing, but at the same time I don't want this to be the best thing that ever happened and the one I let get away. Any comments, suggestions, advice, etc. Please.

  2. #2

    How old are you, how old is she? She sounds like she's just looking for another great guy to settle down with and you being the first one that isn't a total AFC are a great match for her. Don't let this one go, but also keep your game up.

  3. well
    dont try to get TOO attatched
    because that never turns out good

    im not sure how good your game is
    let her know your interested (without telling her)
    but at the same time give a lil doubt that u might not be into her

    if u kno what i mean

  4. She's 32, I'm 41. She has had several relationships since her divorce, The longest being 2 years. She has a great job, her own home, etc. I intend to take this very slowly, but she's throwing IOI's like crazy. Kino has been great and K close was easy. She told me that the song she put up on her myspace page was for me. How long is long enough?

  5. update

    I went out with this girl again last night. We had a couple of drinks, then she suggested we go back to her place to watch a DVD she had just bought. We had some wine and and after about 20 minutes of the movie, started making out. She said the sofa was just too small and took my hand and led me into her bedroom. This was my best F-close ever. The girl is an absolute freak in bed. I'm still worried about how to proceed. She is definitely a keeper.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    You're into her she's into you, so what's the problem? You 2 are old enough and have a reasonable amount of life experience to know what you want. However you may not have had enough time being single to review your own life and develope your self concept. I certainly don't want to preach or tell you wich way to steer your life but you should consider where your head is at the moment. You have to take some time to reflect and learn from past experiences. How much personal growth have you had? Before getting into something significant you want to be a better version of yourself than you were before.

    You want to be happy within yourself. And theres more to that than you may think. How is your lifestyle at the moment? What goals or accomplishments do you have(other than picking up women)? How much do you really want to be in another relationship(right now)? Do you think you could actually hold ground in a LTR at this time? Would your life actually be better with this new person in it? How is your confidense and self esteem?

    Either way you go with this is fine. But you don't want to fall into the same old patterns and habits. Make sure that you've identified and worked on some of your faults that may have contributed to your past relationship not working out.

    I say relax and don't put too much pressure on anything. Don't be distant but don't be led into anything either. Let things keep pace for a while and let "true" feelings develope naturally.
    Last edited by Colin; 04-27-2007 at 11:50 PM.

  7. Hi ranger99,

    Enjoy it. Seems that everything is fine. You want it, she wants it = just enjoy this situation. Keep it rolling

    And yes, its a "to good to be true situation".

    Keep us updated!



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