Thread: How do You deal with this???
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04-05-2007, 07:10 AM #1
I've been talking to this girl for about a month now. We've F' closed and gotten really close.Although she has a dilemma and I'm wondering how I really fit in. What's my role at this point. Her best friends boy friend has been coming on to her.E-mail,phone calls, popping up unexpectectedly, and trying to make advances. I've met the guy before and he's OK but this disturbs me.I feel like I should do something but it's her social circle and best friend.I'm not sure if this is her problem or if I should step in.
How do You deal with this???
I've made some remarks before and things subsided but he still persists.I wouldn't want to make things awkward for her and her friend. But How should I go about this. She's not confrontational at all but rather gives subtle hints.
04-05-2007, 07:36 AM #2
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
- Jacksonville, FL
If she brings it up again, simply say "Would you like for me to talk to him?", and if she says yes, then tell him to stop, because you're making her uncomfterable, and you're dating her bestfriend. Tell him to put himself in her position.
If she says no, then tell her that if she changes her mind, that you're there for her.
I just recently had a similiar incident happen to my friend about a week ago. This guy, an AFC, kept calling my friends girlfriend to come over and by herself shit, and then he found out she had a boyfriend. He said "Fuck your boyfriend. Tell him to come over here and we'll settle this.", and we were at his house in under 10 minutes. No one was even talking shit to the kid. He just called out my friend for no reason. I guess he was trying to impress my friends girl.
Apparently he had a girlfriend who was in the house with him. We pulled up, he ran inside and locked the door. My friend runs up to the door, almost beats the door in, and throws some furniture he had sitting on his porch up against his house. My other friend uproots the kids mailbox and almost throws it through the kids window. His girlfriend called my friends girlfriends phone and told her that "He can beat the shit out of my boyfriend if he wants, just stop fucking with us.". I guess they just have one big fucked up relationship, especially to be calling over other girls when your girlfriend doesn't know about it.
I bet he doesn't fuck with her again. By the way, my friends girlfriend and his girlfriend were friends before, and still are after.
04-06-2007, 04:56 AM #3
Yeah I agree. I'll probably end up pullin the guy to the side and having a talk with him. She feels really awkward and doesn't want to disrupt anything between her friend. She's made it relatively clear to this guy that she's not into it and he should stop. I guess he doesn't get the hint though.
The other couple is actually engaged. Apparently this has been gradually building since before I came in the picture. It's a shame becuz she doesn't even want to hang around them now.
04-15-2007, 11:23 AM #4Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
Its possible your girl told you for a reason. As Intrepid says, at least offer her to help, she might think it too much to actually ask you herself so has in a way suggested it to you subtley.
04-15-2007, 11:43 AM #5
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
Her best friend should be saying something to her boyfriend about it. I think you're too early in to say anything about it.
Does her best friend know he's putting moves on your fb/potential gf?
I wouldn't say it in the "boyfriend" way, but ask him if he's already got a girlfriend, why would he want to go for her best friend and fuck up their friendship? I would approach it like that more than the "she belongs to me, f-off" because you're now challenging him, but I would say "we are talking a lot though and we're pretty open with each other about everything" and leave it at that. He'll get the hint that she's told you about him coming on to her.
Don't buy that he's nice or ok. He's not. He's disrespectful to you and his girlfriend, but at the same time I think she may have an attraction to him. If she didn't she'd be laughing it off, but it sounds like there's something going on in her head where she's considering it. This situation ends almost all friendships. It happens frequently, and it never turns out good.
I do think that part of her is interested to see what could happen unless it comes across that it is annoying her.
04-15-2007, 05:18 PM #6
Things panned out. I ended up making a few remarks somewhere along the lines you suggested.
I had a slight feeling she may have had an attraction just the way she presented it to me. But I think she may have been testing me in a way. I threw something out at her about a neighbor of mine always popping up and someone drawing hearts on my car not too long before this. I could tell by a change in her tone and overall body language that it made her uncomfortable.
Some slight flirting may be flattering but trust me she's not into it. I don't think his advances were that bold. I think he was just coming around a little to much. I'll keep my eyes open though.