Sarging Alone....and why you should try it - Page 3

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  1. Excellent post. Really. This is exactly true - if you want to go out for a laugh with your mates, maybe run a line or two, and pull ever once in a blue moon, do it.
    If you want to be a PUA, you need to be able to rely on no-one else but you. No-one.
    This is critical. If you get used to a wing, you're getting used to a crutch. If you can pull when you're out on your own - and it is a skill that you will develop over time - you can succeed.

  2. 11-28-2006, 08:07 PM

  3. 12-03-2006, 01:02 PM

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Sarging alone kind of makes you not make any excuses, I've discovered, because people will start giving you looks and wonder why you are a loner and seem to not have a good time. Do you have any friends...why are you here...that kind of general nonsensical bullshit.
    This is where your skills as a PUA come in...if you're personable and have personality and aren't a bloody robot, you'll probably survive, because even if you are just walking around the bar a few times and have a smile on your face, simply waving to people or giving them high fives will make you that much more excited yourself about everything, make people see that you're enjoying your surroundings, and every time I am at a place, girls open me.

  5. I totally agree - I started trying this out about a month ago and MOST times I've only been sarging alone, although my friends are about... somwhere in the venue... it just works so good
    Here in sweden you aren't allowed to smoke inside, so there is this smoking area outside the club - that is where the smooth talk kicks in... i always go out with a big fuckin grin and just open with whatever... and damn, a lot of girl out there like to bite necks, especially after me wearing my sunglasses with crystals on both sides and they ask "Why you have sunglasses?"
    Me: "Really wanna know? Cos i'm a *bloody* vampire, that's why... now be my mistress and bite my neck"
    Muahaha it's just so nice thanks for inspiration all of ya

  6. Dont let time pass

    There is a moment when you are out alone that is very crucial for the rest of your night. It is when 3-5 minutes have past and you are not talking to anyone.

    If you let this time pass then it will affect you and you become self concious. You start to think : Now I am being seen all alone. This guy just saw me standing alone here for some time and must think I am weird. These girls next to me will KNOW that I am theres just to hit on them. And of course all of these thought are bullshit! You get caught in the mindset that everyone is noticing that you are alone there. And the reason is that you let time pass while standing there.

    So for me the trick is, as soon as I catch my self starting having these negative thoughts, I know it is because I let 5 minutes pass without talking to people. So I start to talk to whoever is near. And it goes away.

  7. 12-12-2006, 08:24 PM

  8. 05-19-2007, 03:30 PM

  9. I have almost always exclusively sarged alone. Started doing it before I knew what sarging or being a PUA was back in my young raver days. I was the only guy that would go to regular bars during the week while my buddies waited on the big weekend all-nighters. I guess it still carries over today since I'm often out during the week wingless.

    The basic contingent of smiling is even bigger when you're sarging alone. It's one thing to walk in to a bar/club with 2 or 3 other guys and not be the one with a grin, but when you're by yourself you look up to something or extremely depressed if you're alone AND not smiling. You have to look okay with being on your own.

    My personal technique for dealing with groups of 5 or more is sticking with the set longer than I normally would if I were with a wing. As groups of 5 or more tend to splinter into at least two conversations anyway, my target usually ends up in a splintered 2 or 3 set. Instead of trying to isolate, I tend to end up invited into the larger group setting. This usually ends in a #-close because of the large group setting. On the plus side, making good with the group often aids in getting me invited to a location change, which adds comfort.

    I almost never get asked why I'm somewhere alone, but I do get asked who I'm there with. In Chicago, there are so many places and so many large places, it's easy to say that either your buddy/buddies are a couple doors down checking out a different spot or that you splintered in the crowd. With the former, I always like to add that we're planning to check in via phone to decide the best spot. When my target tells me to have them come to where I am, I usually neg her slightly on her being worthy of meeting them or neg her to the obstacle ("She's so bossy! How do you hang with her?")

    Just my .02 ...

    - ChiSwinger
    Last edited by Fader; 01-04-2008 at 11:58 AM. Reason: edited out irrevelant information

  10. 01-04-2008, 06:14 PM

  11. 01-04-2008, 09:36 PM

  12. 01-04-2008, 11:56 PM

  13. 01-06-2008, 08:10 PM

  14. 01-08-2008, 10:33 PM

  15. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    San Francisco, CA

    sarging alone


    any other good inputs regarding what I can say when I'm sarging alone and people wander why? (I noticed ppl here tend to look down to guys who wander alone in bars as AFC and losers, "...if he's got no friends to hang out with, there's probably a good reason why..")

    When I sarge alone, I used the "boring roommate" approach, saying my roommate and I were supposed to go out but he's a lazy ass man and stayed home watching the game.
    Sometimes I use my foreign accent to my advantage, saying I'm not from here (true) and I'm just visiting for a few days (not true, but this is somewhat a FTC).
    Of course I don't use the two approaches in the same bar, because if different sets get by chance to talk to each other or know each other, I'm off (if he has a roommate he's not a foreigner who's staying just a few days...

    Happy Sarging,

  16. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    I currently live in Orlando, but work in Sarasota

    Make friends instantly

    Get the mind set from the start, that walking into a bar/club alone is fine, because it's YOU that's walking in there. Question, do you think that Donald Trump cares if he goes into a bar alone? of course not, because he's Donald Trump. Get that same mindset and confidence that it's perfectly fine, and you don't need to justify it. WHO CARES what people think right? if you're peacocking, you don't care what other people think.

    Walk in, and instantly approach a set, open it, get them to hook to your material, then you have friends already, and in your mind, that's who you came with to meet. Do this to as many sets as you want, then no matter where you stand or who you're talking to, you're with "your" friends right?

    I do this all the time and have met many people, plenty of girls, and the confidence it gives you is priceless.

    If it's ever brought up who I came with, I say something smart and change the subject. These are only two of thousands of examples:

    Open set, run routines,

    girls might ask : "who are you here with"

    me: "Well I came here to meet with my preist, but I think he might have stopped at the strip club on the way over"


    me: "Well I'm actually a salesperson and sold this place a some drinking glasses a while back and wanted to come by and make sure they still worked"

    If delivered with enough confidence, humor, and the right voice tone, anything you say will work (although some responses will be better than others). Just try stuff out and see what you can come up with.


  17. 01-10-2008, 07:07 PM

  18. 01-13-2008, 03:19 PM

  19. 02-12-2008, 06:07 AM

  20. 04-27-2008, 04:31 AM

    please find the original post and put this in there

  21. 08-17-2008, 11:50 PM

  22. 08-20-2008, 11:50 AM

    please pm the poster the question

  23. 02-03-2009, 03:20 PM

  24. #28
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Orange County, CA

    GREAT post man. I would echo your thoughts that you MUST start opening sets immediately. And yes that can mean talking to the bouncer, or guys, or fat girls. Anyone. It's almost like there is an extra step when you are solo sarging. You have to first crack your shell and come out socially. That gets you to the same frame of mind as being in a club with your friends.

    Then second you have to open real sets! Move to warm up sets, so-so girls. Cute but NOT intimidatingly hot. Stay in set and get loose with them.

    THEN after that, go make approaches on girls you find attractive. If for some reason you walk in the place and you are just ON, then you can skip the first 2 sets. But that has never happened to me.

    As far as "Why are you here alone?" You just need a REASON. I do what you do. "Oh I was here with my friends but they left. What am I gonna' do go home??" Make LEAVING the more ridiculous option, not staying. You could even do, "I was suppossed to meet my Buddy Anthony here, but he just texted me that he's flaking out. What am I gonna' do now go home??"

    There is a stigma outside the community on INTENTIONALLY going out alone. People not in the community don't understand why you would do that. I think it's too much to get into to explain it all, so I just say my friends already left.

    If there is a sports game on, that can be your reason. If you are traveling on business flying solo is totally ok. It's not that you don't have friends, your friends are back in your hometown. You just need a REASON to be there, that's the important thing.

  25. 06-13-2009, 06:50 PM

  26. 09-13-2009, 04:35 PM

    please post this is in the newbie forum

  27. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Love the post (didn't read all the replies so sorry if someone already covered the following)

    There is one thing I think is missing from the list of advantages to going out alone: When you are out by yourself, and especially if you are in a different town, you get rid of all the baggage that comes from feeling watched. No more big brother, it's just you. I have noticed going out with friends, while fun, has the implicit gnawing feeling that you have to conform to their beliefs and expectations, their disapproving glances and their own insecurities. This happens regardless of whether or not you actually want to impress them, I don't care how good your inner game is. Last night my new wingman was actually awesome about this, and he got an A+ in my opinion as far as not passing judgement, I felt like i was sarging alone with him, which is great and incredibly rare.

    Whenever I open a set and I'm with friends, they will often say shit like "why didn't she like you?", "What happened man? What went wrong?" or even a simple and well-intended "what did they say to you?" often puts me into an analytical, self-conscious state (since telling my friend what the girls said is often a case study in failure and rejection, why the hell do you think I walked away from the set, genius?). It's like a flashback from my early days, when I actually cared about every detail and worried about the outcome of every set. My female cousin, for example, knows that I do this. I've spoken extensively to her about it, and even if she doesn't quite get it, she claims to respect me for doing it. Which is why it's puzzling when I'm hanging out with her, I open a set in the daytime, and when I come back she's all like "who were they? are they your friends? interesting." That brief and perhaps subconscious disapproving tone in her voice just made it awkward, and it made me want to approach less that day, only when she wasn't around to pass judgement.

    Fuck your friends. In this area of your life, they are not your friends until you are finished obsessively studying this stuff on a regular basis. It is better to go solo, or with a very good wing. Naturals are ok, as are those few friends of yours who generally don't judge anything and don't seem to care about what people think. Those people are great, but hard to find and i think that if you're not advanced you should stay away from trying to learn this skill set while in the vicinity of potential peer pressure to drink, conform, and generally just suck. I've had a "friend" whisper into my ear after I got blown out "those girls looked like a beautiful flower, that when you went to talk to, withered into a pile of ash." Yeah. I know. Then he said: "you are a positive battery and they are a negative battery, so guess what happens when you put those two together? Zero." Needless to say, I don't go out with that guy anymore.

    Those are my two cents, I think you'll agree. If not, come find me somehow cuz i never check these forums. PEACE Y-AUL!!!!

  28. Nice post, I think its as much inner game, as it is understanding our inherited approach fear as men, and just having the 'I don't care' attitude. Once you have this solid foundation, you can then build up with some of the techniques you've outlined. Once you get in the groove, and opened maybe 10 sets plus, should be a lot easier to actually improve your game.

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