What to do if a girl directly insults you?

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  1. #1
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    What to do if a girl directly insults you?

    I'm not talking about passive insults, but active ones, like she actually invests energy in it.
    It's not a lack of attainability thing, that's a non issue.
    One of those Oh my god I'm so mad at you and she goes on whining, then rolls with "Why are guys such assholes oh my god".
    On the plus side she gives out a lot of rapport.
    Feels like she wants me to rescue her from her negetivity, and fuck her.
    Is matching rapport a good idea, ie polite tooling, or should I maintain the DHV?
    I don't see this happening to many guys in the attraction stage, espetialy ones that are fucking the chick, which is why this worries me.
    Turn out was bland for my result, but really what's the deal with this?
    "Take a quiet moment to collect your toughts then maybe we can continue this conversation in a few minutes"
    Problem is and I realize this, is she is not hooked on the attraction, so she has no reason to stay.
    Plus it DLV's me which I don't like.



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    Somebody need to reply to this post beacuse i dont know the best response, but it happens to me. Perhaps we dont neg or cocky funny properlly but if it does happen what do we do. (sympathise with my words they are drunk)

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    Whenever a girl insults me (which happens often enough) I just pause and make an awkward silence while staring at her then say "You're adorable, I think you're going to be my new girlfriend" and I put my arm around her. If she reacts negatively I just say "Ok were broken up" and I backturn her.

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    Legion 5 & CV19,
    hear the girls voice and read it for the meaning.
    if your saying she's giving a lot of rapport - i assume the insult is just part of the fun and games - in which case you can carry on however the fuck you want. she still likes you - "you weren't spanked enough as a child i can see... oh well...(next piece of material)"
    your good.
    if she's actually mad, but still with the rapport, she'd having mixed feelings. and thats a good thing - for you. do NOT make a big deal of it. just a quiet staredown (calmly) followed by moving on to a new thread is fine.
    if you don't make a big deal of it - she won't either.
    hope thats helpful,

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    I agree with string.
    Look for the meaning of her insult. If shes busting on you for being an asshole, play along, cocky funny, all that standard stuff.
    If shes serious, and wants to go on a tyrade on how much guys suck and how we're all assholes, its going to take some strong calibration. I was gaming a girl at a party who went off about how guys are biologically unneccessary and she didnt need to hear anyone elses opinion because she had "bad experiences" as a child. All the other guys at the party were trying to fight her on it, but she was getting beligerant. I finally had a chance to but in and i said "Hey, guys, shes right! Not only is the Y chromosome deteriorating, but males in certain species are known to turn female. Biologically, we are the weaker sex, we dont live as long, and we are far less attractive. Thats why god made us smarter and better at sports" All the guys laughed, she smiled, and i asked her if she wanted to take a walk. She was in bitch about guy mode, so all I said was "I know this isnt about all guys, I know its about one thats hurting you now. Its about being heartbroken in the past, which is strange to me because you seem like a stronger person than that to let it get to you." after a little more cold reading i had her eating out of the palm of my hand. Unfortunatly one of her friends came and snatched her away before I could close, but you get the moral of the story. Girls who are upset need to feel empowered. let her know that shes stronger than she thinks, and get into her head.

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    I agree with this to a certain extent, but if she rips into the whole "I hate guys" routine then something has gone wrong-
    1. You have either demonstrated the characteristics of an asshole of which she has experience of.
    or
    2. She is tarnishing you with the same brush as other guys, regardless of how you have behaved.
    The AFC in the street would switch to super sensitive mode here, arm around and act like the understanding boyfriend (of which they aren't!!). Yes this will make the chick feel empowered, but also has the effect of lowering your value in relative terms.
    What is better is to freeze out/ punish her for her behaviour of trying to lower your value. Let her calm down by herself and she'll realise she was the irrational one and come back.
    If she doesn't, then you have demonstrated traits of (1.) and ought to find a new set - of which there are many!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cajun
    Whenever a girl insults me (which happens often enough) I just pause and make an awkward silence while staring at her then say "You're adorable, I think you're going to be my new girlfriend" and I put my arm around her. If she reacts negatively I just say "Ok were broken up" and I backturn her.
    I could not do that; I'd be too afraid of a sexual harassment suit. It's happened to me 3 times. The first 2 times I just took it (it's not that I thought not replying would DHV by making myself look unaffected, I was just too ashamed and embarassed to respond) The last time though, I was genuinely sick or rejection and I told her to go fuck herself.

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    Don't forget the golden rule of pick up
    Leave them better than when you found them.
    I do not know what happened in your individual situation, but perhaps it was miscalibration on your part for this girl in particular. Pick Up is very much an ART in that with some girls you could do that flirty "Oh we're broken up now" but that only works on certain girls. Some girls take life too seriously and cry at the smallest neg...
    There is no MAGICAL line because each girl is different and the Venusian Arts is such that the magical line is different per set. BUT THERE IS A MAGICAL LINE, its just different per set! The master artist will find that line.
    With that said, usually the mistake is not made during the anger, but before it.
    So anyway, if she is insulting, you DO NOT TAKE IT. You stand up for yourself ALWAYS. ALWAYS. This does not mean call her a Bitch nor does it mean to break a window. This means say "Listen. <pause> If you are going to act like a little child, I'm going to treat you like a little child and not like an adult." Maybe instead of child, use "bitch" but it depends hehe thats too Sameul L Jackson..
    Now that is something I'd say, and I'd say it seriously. Perhaps you'd say something with different words.
    However, I'd hope to rarely be in that position because A) I would try my best to calibrate all my interaction so I don't lose control of the interaction B) I wouldn't want to be with an immature girl at all in the first place. I.e., when I qualify in A3 (and when I just observe her), I really do qualify and many girls who are immature turn me off.
    Calibration is something you need to constantly consider and let go of your pride/ego. You a product of your interactions with others (study Ethonomethodology), so if you change the way you interact, you change WHO YOU ARE.
    its real, I've been in the game 2 years and I'm totally different. Even my little cousins say I'm different. Its fucking insane bro, keep with it, keep practising the ART and you'll be great.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cajun
    Whenever a girl insults me (which happens often enough) I just pause and make an awkward silence while staring at her then say "You're adorable, I think you're going to be my new girlfriend" and I put my arm around her. If she reacts negatively I just say "Ok were broken up" and I backturn her.
    I'm fucking loving it.
    Anyway, insults come for various reasons. Most have already been covered. I act unaffected, because I am. I get the "asshole" thing alot, in which I respond with "comforting isn’t it" (House M.D. rules). Each situation calls for its own special reaction. I'm a "roll with the punches" kind of guy. I just don't care what they say.

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    one of my favs from rick c ( i hope I got his name right)
    "Where I come from edicate isnt an option"

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    In the past few weeks two women at lounges really just tore into me upon the initial ice breaker. On the first occasion, I was apparently 'touching' her as it was crowded and not noticing-my arm kept on touching hers and she became very annoyed to the point where she acted like a real bitch and procceeded to tell me off for invading her space and not being aware blahm blah, blah. Funny thing is I saw right through it all. I sensed that she was really pissed because I was there for so long and hadn't hit on her. In her mind she was rejecting me up front because I had already rejected her by NOT hitting on her at all. As soon as I took that frame of mind I just softened my voice and complimented her on how well she verballized her complaint without being too much of a bitch about it. I never actually apologized but basicially gamed her and her cousin as if they opened me. My girlfriend (that I was conversing with before she interrupted us) could not believe her eyes. She thought I would have gotten kicked in the nuts for that. Apparently I had a few and she was much angrier than I remembered LOL.
    The second one was something like the first and she was trying too hard to be a bitch to me or it seemed that way to me. I kept smiling at her when she insulted as if she was really complimenting. I even said things to her friends like "do you girls really take her out with you because you like her or because she drove?" or "looks to me like you have to learn to make lemonade alot faster because you've got alot of lemons to deal with baby." Later that night I k-closed her and felt the goods down under in the lounge.
    Point is guys, most times I think women are being bitches because they like you somehow and you did something (or didn't) that pissed them off. Just don't play their game and stick to your guns - never lose your composure either.

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    Pass her shit tests

    Quote Originally Posted by voodoo
    ...usually the mistake is not made during the anger, but before it.
    So anyway, if she is insulting, you DO NOT TAKE IT. You stand up for yourself ALWAYS. ALWAYS. This does not mean call her a Bitch nor does it mean to break a window. This means say "Listen. <pause> If you are going to act like a little child, I'm going to treat you like a little child and not like an adult." Maybe instead of child, use "bitch" but it depends hehe thats too Sameul L Jackson..
    Now that is something I'd say, and I'd say it seriously. Perhaps you'd say something with different words.
    However, I'd hope to rarely be in that position because A) I would try my best to calibrate all my interaction so I don't lose control of the interaction B) I wouldn't want to be with an immature girl at all in the first place. I.e., when I qualify in A3 (and when I just observe her), I really do qualify and many girls who are immature turn me off.
    Wisdom, voodoo, wisdom. Good post.
    You may not realize it, but you did something to make her believe that insulting you was acceptable. The first thing you need to do is squash that shit, pronto. You can do that either by giving as you get (don't worry about holding back, she asked for it), or putting on the brakes. Whatever you do, she has to understand at the end of the interaction that she is misbehaving, and will be punished.
    It could either be you or her personality (I couldn't tell without a detailed field report), but she somehow got the idea that her behavior is okay. The rapport doesn't mean squat; in fact, most abusive relationships settle into an abuse-appease cycle, and cannot resolve until the victim makes a break.
    Standing your ground in this case may lose you the set, but it will save you others; if any set in the room see you getting AMOGed by a chick (you realize that this is what's happening, don't you?) you are doomed, doomed, doomed. You might as well ask your hand for its phone number, 'cause that's your date.

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    You may not realize it, but you did something to make her believe that insulting you was acceptable.
    Nice post. I did not think of that, but is 100% true and a great way to look at things.
    Alos, keep in mind, it's an insult only if you LET it be an insult. People only disrespect/belittle you if you LET it bother you.
    You have 4 options, and they depend upon your goal in the set:
    1) Glutton for Punishment
    "Aw. You're cute. I get all frazzled whne I meet someone I like too!!" and smile.
    2) Insult her Back
    "If you're gonna be mean, wipe that food off your chin first.....no, your other chin" and walk away with a Fuck You Smirk.
    3) (Your best shot of keeping interest) UTTER CONFUSION
    "LEt me ask you, Miss Congenialty--How deep would the ocean be if sponges did not grow in it????" or something totally insane and harmless.
    4) Walk away and use your energy on a more likely target.

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    sounds like a "shit test" never answer with a direct answer. Control the frame of the interaction with c&f, a better answer, silence. etc. NEVER Qualify yourself.

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    Wow, i think i made a mistake then.
    After neg and dhv it got into banter, i was cocky funny we teased each other. There was 2hbs and one of me, we were standing, teasing back and forth esculated, then it went to insults and shoving. I gave as good as i got, this is done in a half joke way. I tell them to piss off back to your b-friends, they say fine, i walk off.
    Incase you havnt realise or if your a bit slow this a what not to do in this situation.

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    They were digging you. Why tell them to piss off?

    Quote Originally Posted by cupid valentino19
    Wow, i think i made a mistake then.
    After neg and dhv it got into banter, i was cocky funny we teased each other. There was 2hbs and one of me, we were standing, teasing back and forth esculated, then it went to insults and shoving. I gave as good as i got, this is done in a half joke way. I tell them to piss off back to your b-friends, they say fine, i walk off.
    Incase you havnt realise or if your a bit slow this a what not to do in this situation.
    Yeah, you're right. You hooked this set, then lost it by blowing your cool.
    Women don't get into shoving matches with dudes they don't like; they either run, mace them, or cut them.
    It's also a shit test on one level, since you can't like it too much, and you can't hate it too much. You have to act like women have their hands on you all the time, only there are rules....
    It was an excuse to put her hands on you, and bask in your size advantage if you have one. In MMspeak, it's major kino.
    The thing to do is level the playing field by going alpha: give her a good spanking, or pin her until she submits.

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