Project Rockstar 2018

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  1. #1
    Sterling's Avatar
    Sterling is offline Certified Love Systems Instructor

    Project Rockstar Head Instructor

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    Project Rockstar 2018

    Another very special summer in the books. It seems each year on Project Rockstar we get to dive deeper and deeper. Feeling very blessed to be able to do this year after year with such an incredible team. I don't think I would trade this for anything.

    The success stories this year were nothing short of incredible. From a 32-year-old Indian finance guy having been through the washing machine of 7+ years of dating bootcamps finally breaking through and discovering his masculinity, to the 48-year-old doctor reconnecting with fulfillment and genuine happiness.

    So many parties, crazy experiences, deep friendships and bonds created. This year was something else.

    But I'll let them speak for themselves. They will be posting their reviews of the summer here in the coming weeks.

    www.projectrockstar.com


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  2. My decision to apply to Rockstar


    I took my first bootcamp in 2013. Between 2013 and 2018, I made almost no progress with women. The initial excitement that came with finding out about ‘game’ and the revelation that one could get better at attracting women was replaced by a sense of anguish. I couldn’t un-see what I had seen. There were definitely guys out there who had made substantial progress with game after their bootcamps. I assumed that my lack of progress represented some deep, fundamental and irredeemable character flaw, and that it was likely that nothing would ever work for me. As I continued to tell myself this story of inadequacy and the harsh voice in my head grew progressively louder, I reached a point of learned helplessness. My decision to apply to Rockstar came from this place of desperation.


    The Application Process


    As much as I needed Rockstar I was scared by the thought of getting accepted. Asking for time off from work for 2 to 3 months was a daunting prospect. When I later got to the program, I realised my apprehension ran deeper because so much of my self esteem was based on being good at work, and I was leaving all that behind for the entire summer. In hindsight, one of the biggest benefits of the summer was learning to feel good about myself without relying on the crutch of achievement.


    I was as honest as possible in my application, and as each interview took place I found myself pulled in two opposite directions - feeling a sense of relief as I made it through each round while also feeling a profound anxiety about what lay ahead if I did get in.


    The Fitness Program


    The fitness program was incredibly intense from the first day. It took a lot of mental and emotional energy to keep up with it. I fell sick early on during the program, and forcing myself to go to the gym in that state was very difficult. Some of the training principles in the Gethin program also felt outdated to me based on what I’d read about fitness. But I had told myself that my approach to the entire summer was going to be to suspend disbelief and just do what the instructors told me to do. So I just executed on the program as best I could without dwelling on the inevitable questions that came up in my mind. By the end of twelve weeks I wound up losing close to 20 pounds. Hard to argue with results like that! So it reinforced my decision to follow the instructions as closely as I could.


    How is Rockstar different from every other bootcamp out there?


    I’d taken two 3-day bootcamps prior to Rockstar. In both cases the messages we were left with at the end of the weekend were



    1. the process of getting better at game is unavoidably painful. You just have to keep forcing yourself to go out to nightclubs and talk to women through the pain of hundreds of rejections.
    2. the best strategy to get through this is ‘fake it till you make it’. Act boldly on your approaches even though you aren’t feeling bold. Recite some (possibly memorised) lines to flirt or sexualise or create comfort.
    3. Rinse and repeat the above till you get good.



    The biggest difference with Rockstar that was brought home to us within the first couple of days of the program was that this philosophy of learning game was flawed at best and actively counterproductive at worst.


    In what was a very eye-opening introduction to the program, Sterling explained what was one of the guiding principles for the rest of the summer - when your primary reason for being in the nightclub is to “get good at the skillset of game”, you are very unlikely to succeed. Approaching game with the same conquest/achievement mentality that we apply to other areas of life like fitness or business is precisely what had kept us all from making progress in this area. It was the first of many insights and inner game revelations that we had over the summer.


    Some of the other key elements of the Rockstar philosophy:

    • The crucial importance of learning to have fun in the environment. As Sterling likes to say, fun is the cost of entry to begin getting good at this. With the benefit of hindsight it’s hard to overstate the importance of this lesson.
    • Outer game skills are essential and need to be learned. But what really makes a big difference is resolving the internal baggage that each of us has built up based on culture, upbringing, religious background etc.
    • Masculinity isn’t what the media portrays it to be, and it isn’t a collection of behaviours to be faked in a nightclub to impress women. Instead, masculinity is what emerged organically from within each of us as we resolve our own internal blocks.



    Most of our time in Vegas was spent understanding and implementing this philosophy while also trying to resolve our own internal baggage through a myriad of approaches. Having spent many years consuming ‘pick up’ related material online, I can categorically say that there’s nothing out there that comes close to this.


    So how effective was it?…It would be tempting to suggest that we were all magically ‘fixed’ and that game instantly became effortless thereafter. But that isn’t the case. All of us struggled a lot as we confronted our own internal demons. I was reduced to tears more times over the summer than I care to count. So if you’re hoping that Rockstar is a magic bullet that makes all your problems go away, you’ll be disappointed. But in many ways Rockstar does something far more valuable and something no standard bootcamp even attempts to do. It will address the problems that are genuinely worth addressing, the ones that you pretend aren’t there, the one’s that get swept under the carpet, the ones that have held you back in all areas of your life and not just game. So as an example, rather than trying to address the problem of “running out of things to say” by learning lines or routines, you’ll work on overcoming your fear of being authentic so you can express yourself freely. By getting to a place where you’re saying things only for self-amusement rather than to seek a reaction from the girl, “running out of things to say” will cease to be a problem.


    Finally, there’s a massive benefit in the learning environment of Rockstar that no short term bootcamp would be able to replicate. Living with 16 other guys for 9 weeks in the pressure cooker of Rockstar brings out elements of your character in ways that no bootcamp can. As an example, it’s commonly said as part of learning game that it’s important to learn to enforce your own boundaries with women. In my case, my tendency to avoid enforcing boundaries was noticed because I wasn’t doing a good job of it with my fellow rockstars, and they all told me as much in my Circle of Truth with plenty of examples that made an impact on me. So ‘enforcing boundaries’ stopped being an abstract concept to practice as part of game and instead became something fundamental that I was able to notice and work on as part of day-to-day life.


    The various Circles are arguably the most impactful component of the program. You’ll reveal things about your life that you’ve never told anybody, and perhaps never admitted to yourself. You’ll get more brutally honest feedback about your flaws and weaknesses than in almost any other environment (I say this as someone who has been at the receiving end of some rather brutal performance reviews in corporate America). You’ll also learn that you have more redeeming qualities than you give yourself credit for, that you’re capable of more than you imagine, and what genuine appreciation for you as a person sounds like. (I say this as someone who has been at the receiving end of plenty of fake flattery and ass-kissing behaviour in corporate America).


    What was it like to go through Rockstar?


    A couple of things made a big impression on me in the early days of the program.


    For one thing, the instructors were all quite different from each other. Some were extroverted while others were introverted. Their style of speaking, their sense of humour, the way they carried themselves in the club was all unique to their own personalities. In my mind, it helped to dispel the idea that you had to be a particular type of person in order to be good at game.


    I was also taken aback by the number of alumni from previous years who were visiting. For large chunks of the Vegas leg there were more alumni in the room than Rockstars. Their personalities were also very different from each other, and I remember thinking that the program must’ve made a massive impact on them if so many of them from across so many years were motivated to come back. It increased my faith in the program in the early days when everything seemed uncertain.


    Despite their varying personalities and traits, there was a common thread that we all noticed in both instructors and alumni. They were all very real, grounded and authentic.


    The daily experience of going through Rockstar is hard to put into words.


    Vegas


    In Vegas the days were completely packed. Keeping up with the seminars and the schedule while going out most nights along with all the inner game work we were doing was physically and emotionally draining. I’d volunteered to be the treasurer for the group too and that added to my daily responsibilities and pressure. In hindsight I’m glad I took on the role because it helped me feel good about contributing to the group even when I felt like I was making no progress on my nights out or was wrestling with some difficult internal change. On many nights out we wound up coming back to the Rockstar mansion after the sun was up. We all got used to the feeling of operating on very few hours of sleep.


    The Vegas leg in particular was an emotional rollercoaster. It wasn’t unusual to feel excitement, fear, anxiety, sadness and laughter all within a few hours of each other. There were nights out where I felt great that were followed immediately by nights out where I felt like I hadn’t learnt anything at all. One of the more eventful periods of the Vegas leg started with me coming back at 4 am after a rough night at XS Night Swim to find that the Rockstar mansion was burglarised and a lot of my stuff had been taken. In the week that followed I went skydiving with the other Rockstars, did yin yoga, had profound internal breakthroughs as part of the inner work we were doing, went to a strip club and ended the week by getting my first couple of make outs at the club and almost pulling a girl home. All were firsts for me. That week is likely to go down as one of the most memorable of my life!


    Throughout Rockstar it was universally true that each of us could see the progress in the other Rockstars but not in ourselves. So the urge to compare and beat yourself up is irresistible. Coming to terms with that, learning to not let any individual night bother you, and accepting that each person is on his own journey is a big part of the summer.




    The Road trip


    The group chose to go to Mykonos and Krakow for our road trip. It was great having some space to ourselves after the intensity of Vegas. It was also my first ever trip to Europe, so I was really looking forward to it.


    Mykonos was an amazing party island with terrible infrastructure. We’d rented a huge mansion at the top of a hill and the views of the Mediterranean were stunning. Also stunning in Mykonos were the beach parties and the women. It felt like this tiny island was a magnet for the hottest women from all over Southern Europe.


    I enjoyed my time there a lot but also struggled a lot with game and my general mindset. The feeling that I was regressing was intense and a lot of meditation, speaking with the instructors and my fellow rockstars is what got me through that period. I couldn’t shake the feeling that my progress in Vegas had been a fluke. At this period more than any other, I had to learn the lesson to be gentle on myself, focus on the fundamentals and set a low bar for how I was defining success.


    One of the more tragic things that happened as we left Mykonos for Krakow was one of the Rockstars pulling out of the program for personal medical reasons. It came as a shock to us, and we had to regroup once we got to Krakow.


    Krakow wound up being a ton of fun too. Beautiful city, cheap and delicious food, and a great night life. One of the rockstars was from there, so he was able to show us around the city. We also took one of the mornings to visit Auschwitz. It was a chilling, solemn place and as a history buff I took in everything I could from that experience.


    Sweden


    Sweden was the most difficult place for game among all the places we’d gone to. Any attempt at normal conversation fell flat and it was all about having fun, becoming part of the environment and being incredibly bold. Still, given how hot Swedish women are, we were all really motivated to figure out the unique challenges of gaming here. It helped that the hotel we were staying at was at the heart of town and all the big clubs were at walking distance.


    A few alumni came back, and some said they couldn’t believe the changes in the few short weeks since they’d seen me last. That was really gratifying to hear because regardless of how much progress I made I was always second guessing myself, a habit I haven’t kicked yet.


    The Circle of Truth happened in the first few days of our time there. It went on for 17 hours, and some of them were brutal! I’m sure that for some, that day will be a real turning point for the rest of their lives.


    Over the next couple of weeks, the instructor-student relationship from our time in Vegas became a lot more informal and friendly. It was great getting to know them on more friendly terms. As rockstars we also took the opportunity to spend as much time with each other as possible because we realised our journey together was almost over. We spent a day at a lake house on the outskirts of Stockholm, went to the local amusement park, and ate at Max Burger way more than we should have.


    As the three weeks in Sweden drew to a close we had the Circle of Appreciation. As someone who’d struggled with self doubt throughout the program, this made a huge impact on me. I already thought of everyone in the group as brothers, and I knew they had no reason to lie to me. To hear them talk about the progress I’d made, the innate strength they saw in me as a person and how much they appreciated me and my contributions to the group..it meant the world to me! The memory of that evening is one that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.


    The final party at The Wall was bittersweet. We were having so much fun that we became the centre of attention for the entire club. Girls were attracted to our table like moths to a flame. It was a fitting final lesson for the summer - that when you’re just having a ton of fun with genuinely no agenda it automatically attracts everyone to you.


    As the night wore on I had some of the deepest conversations I’d had over the entire summer with the instructors, alumni and my fellow rockstars. By the end of the evening it wound up being too much for me and I was reduced to tears at the thought of the journey being over.


    Final thoughts


    It was a common refrain throughout the summer that ‘you don’t get the Rockstar you want, you get the Rockstar you need’. I applied to Rockstar to get good at game. At the end of the summer, I still have some road to travel to get as good as I want to. But given where I started its undeniable that I made way more progress than I ever would’ve been able to on my own. I was headed down a dark path, and Rockstar has at the very least righted the ship and pointed it in the right direction.


    I’ve travelled to 8 countries during Rockstar and the month since it ended. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that seeing so much of the world, as incredible as it was, doesn’t make the list of top ten most memorable things from the summer. Instead what stands out is the brotherhood of the entire Rockstar community, the deep friendships and meaningful experiences we shared, the internal confidence that came from facing my own demons, and a living demonstration that it’s possible to compress years worth of living out in the ‘real world’ into just weeks. It’s impossible to un-see how full life can be when you’re filling your days with the right influences and constantly living at the edge of your comfort zone with a group of like minded supportive people.


    My goal has always been to live life creatively, so that when the end comes I can look back and say that I lived life on my own terms. I can’t imagine a more authentic expression of creative living than going through Rockstar.

  3. #3

    Australian, 31yrs old Digital Nomad.

    “Let’s finally fix this girl thing...”

    Before attending Project Rockstar I considered myself moderately successful in business, and was happy with my fitness progress, but had maybe not an outwardly obvious, but certainly inwards anxiety in social situations, especially with women.
    Previously I had told myself I simply enjoyed relationships, which of course I did, but I had gone from major relationship to major relationship, partly becuase I didn’t enjoy the uncomfortableness I felt when being single, and having to reflect on and be frustrated with my inability to attract a female I found attractive.
    It was obviously enough of a pain point for me to discuss this with a business friend, who luckily for me, was a previous attendee of Project Rockstar, and without telling me too much really recommended I check it out.
    I’m now happy to say that chance conversation over a burger was lifechanging for me in ways I would never have guessed, but most importantly for the interest of the guy reading this who is currently in the position I was in, my life has now changed towards women dramatically too.

    “But first - to get in the best shape of your life...”

    Once you are accepted into the program (tip - there were ALL types of guys on the program, so simply putting in an honest, respectable and concerted effort into the application process will go further than trying to impress) the first aspect you will be confronted with is the 12-week fitness transformation.
    This part of the program I wish I had have taken more seriously, as at the time I undervalued just how impactful being ‘forced’ into an environment of taking your dieting & working out so seriously for 12 weeks, with very expensive repercussions, as well as a peer group you don’t want to let down was. This kind of environment created incredible changes in all of the Rockstars, and now with hindsight it is an incredible opportunity, similar to being forced to ‘get in shape for a movie’ in that without such a large reason to put in such extreme efforts, you simply will not in normal life, even with the knowledge of what to do. It is an amazing feeling turning up on Day 1 of the program being in the best shape of your life, and there’s no doubting the ‘regimen’ if you will get those results or not... if you follow the instructions for 12 weeks, you too will be in the best shape of your life.

    “...so what is it like turning up on Day 1?”

    I came into Project Rockstar not having attended any ‘pickup’ events in the past, and for this reason was fairly intimidated to actually turn up. If you have been to one of the 3-days or 10-days with the Project Rockstar team though, you will know the very first day or two is actually *way* less confronting than I was expecting!
    Of course I had this immense fear of being pushed into doing exactly the thing I was scared of doing the most, but I really appreciated the manner in which they teach and ease you into overcoming that fear, and it very quickly becomes fun which was seriously impressive and awesome.

    “So- how are you now with girls?”

    Each Rockstar came into the program at different levels of experience, and therefore once they stacked the 9 weeks of progression ontop of that also left at different levels of mastery.
    Going into the program I knew that I was an awesome guy once girls got to know me, I just had no idea how to ‘get them to like me’ and was shit scared of letting a girl know that I liked her.
    The program the team have built and developed over all the last iterations of Project Rockstar is extremely in-depth and comprehensive, and they have truly sought out every life-changing lesson they have been able to find themselves to package up something that I can’t imagine to be much better!
    I honestly thought I just had to ‘learn a few things here and there and a few tricks, and just put in the practise’...but what I didn’t realise I was massively getting in my own way with simply the core beliefs and experiences I had grown up in and around, and now my entire attitude towards women is a much more awesome, healthy, masculine and importantly successful foundation I truly wish every man in life has the opportunity to develop.
    ...and of course that has resulted in successes both on and after the program that I never would have dreamed of *actually* happenning (even though I ‘secretly knew I had it in me’... just how the hell to get it out?!)
    I’ll give you fair warning though... the ‘fear’ never ‘goes away’... however a combination of your new beliefs, the actionable lessons you learn to put into practise, and 9 weeks straight of breaking down and practising every element of an interaction you have ever thought of, and pushing the limits of what you thought possible, simply gives your brain enough reference points to completely ignore the fear, which is what ‘courage’ actually is. I can’t think of a better way to develop so much ‘courage’ than 9 weeks of this process and feedback loop including the reviews and breaking down what happened the night before every morning.
    Simply awesome.

    “What else did you learn?”

    This is probably less interesting and appealing to you before attending, as it would have certainly been to me, but now that I’ve been through the whole program, there are a few freaking enormous things I learnt from Project Rockstar that I didn’t expect, but I would do the program again just for:

    • Learning how to ‘get out of your head, and into your body, and truly have and spread fun whenever you like, including in a nightclub sober’. I had easily some of the most fun nights I’ve ever had in a nightclub in my life, completely sober. (If I had learnt how to do this 10 years ago, I would have saved the cost of the program on what I’ve spent on drinks over that period, let alone counting lost productivity from hangovers too!)
    • Learning how to truly feel and express my emotions, to myself and to others, and by default to love myself completely every day. This ties in with eliminating that nagging feeling of ‘am I enough?’ Eg. Smart enough/ rich enough/ buff enough/ good looking enough/ cool enough? Which used to couple with the social anxiety I would feel in a room of people I didn’t know or a girl I found intimidatingly attractive.
    • How to lead in life through my masculine core and how to be the man my future girl/s over my life time craves and deserves. This is so awesome. My exgirlfriend actually pushed me into turning up to the program, as I applied while we were apart, and we were dating again when I found out I got in. I don’t know if we will try things again in the future, but whoever my future girlfriends or wife etc will be, they deserved for me to attend Project Rockstar, so I am very glad that I did, for me, but also for them too.


    “How about Business/ Money/ Lifestyle etc?”

    Before attending Project Rockstar I was already living the digital nomad lifestyle in Bali, having focussed on optimising my life for freedom over the previous 3-5 years already, so I didn’t think I would learn much from the business & lifestyle area of the course, even though I was excited for it still too.
    I actually was asked to do a presentation on my expertise which mad me step up and take myself more seriously as an expert in that area which was great.
    However I still learnt a tonne of awesome things from the other business mentors, presentations, and network that is Project Rockstar. Only towards the end of the program did I start realising just how extensive and powerful the network of both other attendees and previous attendees and instructors is, with there being someone who is world level elite in nearly any field you can think of being a member of the community that you also join once you finish the program.
    This is super valuable! I feel like I’m a member of a secret club now that ‘has the code to enjoying life’ and travels the world doing that with other club members while partying with women, it truly is ‘The Rockstar Life!’
    Having said that, it’s not a cheap life! But seeing, and more importantly feeling a part of the level that everyone plays life on, both women, business, happiness, passion pursuits, and all areas of life, I feel a strong desire and motivation now to step up and join that level of my peers, which I will be directing my focus now post-Rockstar to putting into my ‘real life’ levelling up everything. It’s super powerful as before I was quite happy to chill out on $2k/month in Bali playing at that level, but now I know I, and the people that I want to be around me, deserve to play life at the top of our game, when and how we like, and I have the peer support to feel like that will be my normal from now on.

    I didn’t feel like I particularly ‘needed more friends’ going into the program, but the caliber of people, and the closeness, trust, and friendship you will develop with the other Rockstars on the program - it would usually take years to develop such friendships, so it’s hard to value friends you don’t have yet, but know this is pretty incredible having a worldwide network of guys that will bend over backwards to help you, or simply meet and bond over girls with!

    “Do I think it was worth it?”

    Both time, and monetary investment?
    (even though it was biggest commitment I have ever made by a long shot)
    100%.


    PS. If you’re still on the fence, and want to ‘see what it’s like’ in visual format, I recorded a private story of my Rockstar journey on my Instagram for close friends only that includes very personal details, feelings & fun over my 9-week journey. If you would like to view it, send me a DM and mention you’ve come from Project Rockstar and I’ll be happy to share it with you privately too @gunhudson

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