Project Rockstar 2018 - Page 2

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  1. Overview:
    I don’t know where to begin with this review. As I started to type a wave of emotion came over me. So much happens over the nine weeks during Rockstar that you can’t digest everything and during the weeks afterward the mind unpacks everything that you experience. Because of my circumstances, I didn’t get time to decompress and let the enormity of the summer sink in. The day after Rockstar as back into the office and my old life. Which instantly didn’t fill like it fit anymore. But things are settling and a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t noticed in some way this program has changed the way I interact with the world. In saying that, I am pretty sure I will not be able to entirely put in words how transformative this program is but I will give my best shot.
    While the instructional part of this program in just nine weeks. The entire program from the Application Process, interviews, Fitness Transformation, and Rockstar is a 9-month process.

    Background:
    I took my first bootcamp ten years ago and have been around "game "since then. While I had moderate success, I never got to a level of where I could say I had things figured out. At the end of 2016, I got out of my last longterm relationship and decided I wanted to take some time to work on myself before getting into another serious relationship. At the beginning of 2017, I decided to take another bootcamp. And as was the case after my first bootcamp, I got a short-term spike in confidence, but I didn’t see the lasting improvement that I wanted. By the end of 2017, I would describe myself as in a rut. While I was dedicated to self-improvement, I still hadn’t progressed as much as I had hoped for in my dating life. And I was also, looking at other aspects of life health (30lbs overweight), wealth (career not where I wanted) and saw that maybe something was out of whack.
    While I had heard of Rockstar Program before, I never seriously considered doing it. It was likely the marketing. I didn’t have a desire to be a “Rockstar.” I just wanted to get better with women. But it was different this year. A classmate from the 2017 bootcamp continued his development by taking the 10-day in NYC followed by doing Rockstar. And I was able to see the impact the program had on his life. So when he recommended I took a look at the program at the beginning of 2018, for the first time I seriously considered doing the program. What finally lead me to apply were the series of live streams done by Andrew and Alex. From those I got a sense that this program went to the core of whatever needed to be worked on to improve me with women but in my entire life.

    Application Process:
    The application process is where Rockstar officially begins. If you are considering this program, then there is something calling you to it. And for me, that was a deep feeling that I could be more in life. The biggest thing I had to overcome at this point was the self-doubt/fear that comes with wanting to do this program. Rockstar is a complete Lifestyle Transformation, and you go into the program knowing that your life after Rockstar could be completely different (new career, a new network of friends, etc.) than before. Along with the excitement that comes with applying for this program there was also a hint of sadness in me through the application process. As doing this program could mean there be significant changes in friendships that I have had for years.
    For this reason, I had to do some soul searching and overcome self-doubt to begin the application process. And once I started, I agonized over my application taking multiple weeks to complete. The extra time it took to complete the application came from worrying if I would stack up to the competition to get into this program. But in the end, all you can do is be as honest as possible during the process. The guys that are doing this have seen pretty much everything at this point. So they know what they are looking for and just being as authentic as possible will shine through on your applications.

    Interviews:
    Once your application is reviewed and accepted you move to the interview portion of the program. This year there were three rounds of interviews to complete. The initial round was completed by a lead instructor who was then followed up by interviews with Alex and Andrew. Honestly, I was surprised to get a call back for the next round. Talking to other RS’s they also had the same feeling of “I can’t believe I keep getting called back. I can’t believe this is happening.” In the end, the interview process is pretty, and the three rounds happen over 2-3 weeks. The final interview or 4th interview is conducted with all three guys, and this is where you find out if you are accepted or not. In the end, the interview process is straightforward and moves a good pace once they start. So you will know if you are on the program within a few weeks of the interview process starting.

    Fitness Transformation
    A key component of Rockstar is the fitness transformation which is a 12 week (3 months) fitness program that the Rockstars complete before the program starts. We all were split into small groups of 3-4 Rockstars and assigned fitness mentor who helped guide us through the program and made sure we met our requirements. The fitness program requires a significant commitment in gym time 2-3 hours a day, food preparations (food prepped meals) and tracking (daily food tracking, weekly journals, etc…).
    While I considered myself as someone, who was reasonably active, before Rockstar, I was training to run a half marathon and did CrossFit 2-3 times a week. This program immediately put that to the test. Within the first two weeks, I had dropped my weight below the initial goal I had set and ended up transforming my body past what I could imagine. As part of the program, we would get professional body fat measurements and the people who did mine where amazed that progress that could be made over the three months.
    Initially, I held my own beliefs about fitness and what was possible. One of the first challenges was giving up CrossFit to do the fitness program. But a big part of the Fitness Transformation is to trust in the guys and to trust in the process. This can be harder for some people than others, but I think it is a crucial element that starts from the beginning. It was after three weeks in the fitness program that I realized how much I appreciated the program. If I hadn’t done Rockstar, I likely would have been in close the same place. But because of Rockstar in 3 weeks, I had dropped my weight to the lowest level it had been in years, and I could wait for the other changes that would come.
    In the end, the fitness transformation was life changing for me in itself. I got my body into the type of shape I considered impossible for myself before Rockstar which was the perfect place to begin actual Rockstar.

    Vegas:
    Vegas is the start of the 9-week journey that is considered Rockstar. Vegas ends up being a four-week bootcamp to hammer home the skills that are considered game. During the time in Vegas the Rockstars complete the 10-day curriculum with the 10-day students then there is additional 2 and half weeks of activities after the 10-day students depart.
    The guys continuously tinker with the curriculum of the 10-day and Rockstar to try and improve the program. That meant that this year there was an increased emphasis on the inner game and emotional work. And while the fundamentals of game were taught many of my most significant memories of this part of the program at this point lead back to the inner game work that we did.
    As for game, the four weeks in Vegas laid the foundation in game that was needed to flourish during the rest of the program. One of the big takeaways in Vegas was how much it's a mental game what you can do in game and life. I came into the program used to only staying out 2 am. But after the four weeks in Vegas, it became natural to stay out to 4 am or later easily. And this was mainly a mental battle that happened every night. I can still remember asking myself at 2 am “Are you tired now? Or are you choosing to be tired?”. The mental battle I just described is one of many such battles that are fought during this period of the program. And it is in Vegas, where you are giving the most fantastic gift when you have the most fun you have had in your life at a loud, noisy nightclub. And you did it completely sober. It is the most critical skill/gift you can acquire.
    For me, Vegas was likely my least favorite part of the 9-weeks. Not because I didn’t like the city. It is just the nature of what is being asked of you during this part of the program. It feels like you are thrown in the deep end and asked to swim on a daily basis. You are continually testing yourself and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. A lot of information is coming at you in such a short amount of time. And you can feel your consciousness working to process all of the experiences and information that is coming at you.

    Road trips:
    The next leg of the program is the two week European Roadtrips. The group is allowed to choose the destination and groups usually choose one “Party” destination and another more chill destination. Our group decided on Mykonos and Krakow for our two cities to visit on the road trip The purpose of this phase of this program is two-fold: 1) To integrate the lessons taught in Vegas and to begin solidifying the bonds of the group.

    Mykonos
    Our group decided on Mykonos and Krakow for our two cities to visit on the road trip. Mykonos was where some of the deeper friendships and bonds started to form. But it was also the place where friction between the group began to show. Sixteen grown men had to figure out how to sort themselves without the guidance of instructors and alumni. For me, this was when my Rockstar experience began to come together as we kept a pretty busy schedule of activities that I felt like I started bonding with the guys more.
    Mykonos as a party destination was top notch. We were doing two parties a day some days looking back on it I don’t know how I was able to sustain it. But when you are in the environment with such a group of guys you go and try to experience as much as you can.
    There was some minor inconvenience on the trip, our logistics were not ideal as we were not close to the city center so getting to and from our place was a pain. But in the big picture of an overall experience, this was minor to what was going on.
    Game wise Mykonos where I finally felt like I started to “Get It” game wise. This place had the hottest females I had seen in my life. But with all the going out and pushing myself I was able to become relaxed in the environments to enjoy myself.

    Krakow
    Landing in Krakow was the best surprise of my Rockstar experience. After being in a hard-charging party environment of Vegas and Mykonos, it was nice to visit a place that gave of a vibe of a real city so that we could slow down the pace. Game wise being in Krakow was an adjustment. Adjusting my game to Krakow was difficult, and this was one of the lessons we had to learn. While Krakow was overall a slower pace, we still were able to keep ourselves busy, and I for one went out most nights. Krakow as a city was beautiful, but it did weight it from its history with the Holocaust. A couple of the things there we did as a group was to visit Auschwitz and Schindler's factory which brought a bit of somberness and reverence to my Rockstar experience.

    Sweden
    Stockholm final leg of the trip. And the place I joked before arriving was the “Superbowl” of women. In the end, that description ended up being mostly right. The women in Stockholm were the hottest of the anyplace we had been. And on top of this, there was the challenging of needing to be bold and high energy all without the help of alcohol. A
    While the game portion was significant, Stockholm ended up being about so much more than women. During this leg of the trip there where less mandatory daily seminars and Rockstars where given the time and space to get to know each other and the instructors on a more personal level. To help bond with the bonding experience where two of the most important ceremonies that happen during Rockstar: The Circle of Truth and Circle of Appreciation.
    The Circle of Truth is where you sit in the hot seat and receive constructive criticism from your fellow Rockstars and instructors. And the Circle of Appreciation which is held a couple of weeks afterward is the opposite where the group tells you all of the great things about yourself. This year both ceremonies ended up being marathon sessions that took well over 12 hours to complete. From both, I left with a feeling of emotional rawness that I haven’t experienced much in my life. But it was worth it for the bonding experience that created within the group. During the Circle of Truth, I found it freeing to be able to give honest feedback to someone and not have them run from it or hate you. But for that to bring you closer together. For me, that was the first time I have experienced unconditional love in that way. And the lesson, that people value what I have to say was seared into entirely from this experience.

    Post Rockstar:
    My main takeaway from RS is that I am enough. This summer I was continually confronting limiting beliefs I held for myself. And I never felt like I was giving enough. I always had a voice in the back of my head saying I could give more. But this program pushes you, and in the end, you will be surprised where you end up. For me, it has pushed the needle for me further than I would ever get by myself. And for that, I am so grateful.



  2. My PR2018 Review.

    Well it’s mid December now and Rockstar still is the best decision of my life and the best thing I could’ve done. For me it was personal development on steroids. Omfg, I just cant believe it.

    Hey the thing isn’t perfect, but I don’t give a fuck. Cause the benefits I got from this are second to none.

    The three major life changing things that happened to me come under:
    1. Business – I’m currently in the best entrepreneurial position of my whole life
    2. Game – omg, the difference between pre-PR and post-PR is night and day haha. I LOVE this shit, it’s seriously like I’ve got a superpower now.
    3. Peace / Happiness / Meditation / Self Development – we did some things on the course that I had never experienced before, and now as I continue these practices, I’m finding greater and greater happiness and peace within my life and becoming more focused on what matters – I cant fucking believe it.

    There were heaps of other benefits, but these ones are just next level. Like I almost cant believe they’ve happened & they have and will continue to permanently shape my life.

    And you know what makes me happy, this is EXACTLY what I wanted from the program. But I couldn’t have planned this any better. It was this time last year I found out about PR and knew I wanted to get on it.

    I was in NO WAY prepared financially but I knew I’d find a way to make it work. Which I did in the end and it was totally worth it. But I was at a point in my life where shit wasn’t going well, and I was like: I need a change, like a massive one.

    My business was going poorly, and had been for a year or 2 now and I was like fuck, I need something to just kick my ass and give me passion again about anything. Just jump start me again.

    And I’ve always wanted to “live like a Rockstar” before I settle down, so this was right up my alley.

    So I just had this feeling that something like this could deliver on everything I wanted. I wanted to just go into some self dev program that is just epic, cause I knew some epic shit would come out of it, I don’t know what, but I knew it was in my favour.

    And that’s exactly what happened.

    One thing I’ll make clear is tho, I believe like 50% of my success from this program came from my personal attitude. I’m the type of guy who is a “hard charger”, ambitious, competitive, diligent etc. Which means when they tell us to do stuff, I really go hard at it. All the rockstars got different results and things out of the program, which is related to the fact that we’re all on different journeys but ALSO related to how hard you’re willing to work.

    They said that you don’t get what you want out of this program, you get what you need. Well I beg to differ because I got exactly what I wanted AND what I needed hahaha (as painful as that may have been). But I got both because of my work ethic.

    My point is, if you go in this expecting shit to just fall in your lap, then you’re not going to get great results (on PR or in life for that matter).

    My review is so fucking glowing, but I really did work hard while I was on the program, so I got a lot out of it.

    Game Aspect

    I loved it. There was a little too much focus on inner game opposed to outer game. But because I was relentless I just figured it all out.

    You got unlimited access to the coaches and mentors and alumni so there’s no real excuse not to get the help you need if you want it bad enough. They are all really great, and will answer any and all of your questions. There were times I asked the head instructor to please come and watch me and he would, and ended up giving me really specific advice. Helped so fucking much.

    And outer game stuff can just come at anytime. It can be studied and precited outside of Rockstar. But to have a group of these dudes together for 9 weeks… like there’s magic there that you CANNOT recreate on any other program. It’s priceless. There’s so much more to Rockstar than the chicks. Like I cant believe it. If you go in with the right attitude you will get everything you WANT and NEED in your life.

    Business

    There were some great business presentations and advice you can get from fellow rockstars and alumni etc.

    But for me the biggest business advancement for me was the fact I scored a new business mentor who I can actual role model in every aspect of my life. He did PR last year and was my fitness program coach. We bonded thru that and also in the 1st two weeks of Vegas we ran around together.

    Then he invited me to come live with him after Rockstar and now I’m living with him working on some fucking awesome business shit. I can’t believe it. And because he’s a millionaire it’s like Rockstar hasn’t stopped for me!!!! Crazy.

    This is what I’m saying, you gotta get on Rockstar and BE HUNGRY and you’ll attract good shit to you. The network of people you meet and can become friends with will change your life (if you let it).

    Even just the last 3 months of living with this mentor, I have enough new info to totally change the direction of my life, but there’s still way more to come!!!!

    Meditation & Self Development
    The stuff they taught us on PR and made us do, was mostly awesome self dev stuff. And I’ve really run with a lot of it. And the way I view the world now has completely changed. There’s a number of exercises that you do which I’ve never done before and I know you will not have done before. They are so beneficial it’s crazy.

    I’ve actually experienced a “peace” and clarity I’ve been searching for my whole life and now I’ve found it. And found a way to repeatedly feel it and work on it to become more and more part of my life. This shit is priceless.

    Conclusion
    You know the game mariokart right? And there are those question mark boxes. Well consider Rockstar as one of those ? boxes for your life. And I’m telling you, you will get way wayyy more than a single banana peel. You will get what you NEED and depending on your work ethic and overall attitude you will get what you WANT.

    But what I did was, I knew it was one of these ? boxes, that I’d ‘run thru’ Rockstar and something GREAT will come out of it. I didn’t know what exactly of course, just like in Mario kart, but I knew it would be something great. and I was exactly right. And you don’t just go thru the ? box once, you go thru it heaps of times! And it’s always something fucking awesome.

    So if you are looking for a real life ? box – you’ve found it. This will give you the change you’re looking for. It will give you the 3 red shells or the single blue shell. But just realise, once you get these “gifts” you can still squander them and “shoot” them at the wrong time etc or all at once. So it’s all about YOU, your attitude, and how you use the opportunities you’re given. It’s the same for ANY self dev course. This course will become exactly what you make it, exactly what you put in. I made sure of this, and made sure PR lived up to the hype because I focused on not being a victim and instead focused on being a victor and taking responsibility.

    So dude, if you’re ready to change your life for fucking ever, and have the wildest 9 weeks of your life, DO ROCKSTAR. You won’t regret it.

  3. MY Program Review & Personal Reflection on My Project Rockstar Experience

    Yes, this is a long post. If it is too long for you, DON’T READ IT!

    To be brutally honest, I am writing this for myself. I am treating this as a great opportunity to fully reflect on how far I have come, celebrate the journey I have traveled and get myself excited to blaze the new path forward.


    I will cut to the point and answer the only question you care about, “Why should I be a part of next year’s Project Rockstar program?”

    You are in luck. If I had written this review at any other point before this moment, you would have gotten a very very different version. Frankly, I still had to work through some tough things over this past month. Fortunately, you get to read about it as some of these key lessons solidify. This post might still suck badly but it is what it is… All from the heart.

    In my humble opinion, these are your WHYs…


    In term of learning how to become a man that will be able to authentically engage, interact with and potentially develop deep and amazing connection with any women, you will be learning the “How To” from a single, clean and genuine source.
    - You will be able to grow as a person in a safe and empowering environment with other like-minded individuals who are also opened and willing to do work.
    - You will have the potential to develop lifelong friendships.
    - You will have the opportunity to broaden your horizons beyond boundaries you thought were even possible.
    - You will simply do things you have never done before and feel things that you have never fully felt or wanted to feel before. You get the special opportunity to do it in a unique, safe, empowering and loving environment.
    - You will receive many unforgettable reference experiences that will be applicable to every area of life that matters to you. Even on days or nights you feel like you did absolutely nothing. Trust me some battles will and must be fought from within...
    - It will unapologetically show you the person you COULD BE, CAN BE and WILL BE based on the level of effort you put into it. In my opinion, it will show you the “Path to Your Best, Authentic and Highest Self”.
    - Lastly, if you get on the program, you will always be grateful for all those moments that makes you feel incredible. You will never regret those moments that makes you feel extremely taxing as they become incredible moments of growth. If you fully engage the program, make every effort after the program and take all the lessons and insights to heart, you will change for the better multitude of ways...

    Yes, this is also for you… cause I care...

    My intention is to write an honest reflection of the Project Rockstar program by focusing on some of the most impactful moments from my perspective in terms of those moments that I felt incredible, those moments that I felt extremely taxed as well as those moments that have found its way to impacting my daily life. Hopefully they will continue to long after you read this little snapshot in time. I will still hit on some of the essence of the program and go over what I thought and felt about them, but in general this is what I will cover.

    For better or worst, this was the Rockstar that I got. Believe it or not, if you truly take to heart what is written here, by other Rockstars and by those Rockstars who have come before, you can blaze your own path with or without the Rockstar experience. Project Rockstar is simply a vehicle to get you where you want to go.

    Lastly, no amount of words no matter how elegantly they are written or how intensely I attempt to convey my feelings will ever serve this experience or anything worthwhile in life justice. So GO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE. Whatever that may be...

    Before moving on, I challenge you to set a single intention that considers the following:
    - Why am I reading this post/ these posts?
    - What do I intend to do immediately after reading this post?
    - Will I summon the courage to take everything I learn from these posts and start blazing my own “Path to My Best, Authentic and Highest Self” regardless if I participate in the Project Rockstar program or not?

    After writing this, over the coming days, my intention is to read through the reviews written by my fellow rockstar brothers and begin to reach out to re-engage on a deeper level.

    Bon Voyage!


    THE Commitment

    I felt increible from the moment I made my commitment to the Project Rockstar program. It wasn’t an obvious moment. I wasn’t when I was accepted onto the program. It wasn’t when I passed each of the interviews. It wasn’t when I finished watching one of the informational sessions on YouTube. It wasn’t when I completed and submitted my application. The actual moment was when I decided to learn more about Project Rockstar and committed to being a part of the application process regardless if I got accepted or not. This took place at the beginning of January 2017 weeks after they started accepting applications.

    I felt extremely taxed throughout the entire application process because I was personally in a negative mental place. What I could’ve done in an afternoon resulted in me submitting the application past deadline. Yeah, it was that bad.

    This one decision/ one commitment changed my life forever...

    Commitment to Fitness

    I felt increible when I committed and completed the 4 Weeks 2 Shred fitness program prior to rolling onto Project Rockstar’s 12 Week Daily Trainer program along with the rest of the Rockstars. The 4 Weeks program was not mandatory but just something I felt compel to do. As a person that have been working out most of my life, it took this structured program along with the meal prepping, macro monitoring and community support to get me in the best shape of my entire life with amazing results. I gained 5 pounds of muscle as I was pretty fit before the program. The main takeaway from the fitness program is really to trust in the process, to cultivate greater discipline in your life, to gain confidence as you shatter previous mental limitations and to celebrate progress.

    I felt taxed every time I went to the gym and did the 2 times cardio every single day. That is the whole point. If you leave the gym feeling comfortable, you didn’t work hard enough. It is the discomfort and pushing yourself that makes every gym session worthwhile and effective. This key lesson is also 110% applicable to the Project Rockstar program. Read on...

    Since the 12 week program before Rockstar, I did my best to hit the gym on a consistent basis during Rockstar. It was extremely challenging and eventually getting to the gym was just less of a priority and sampling the local fares became opportunities I could not pass up. After the program and my post-RS travels, I had gained all the weight back and then some.

    There was not a spec of doubt in my mind around fitness. I know in my heart that my commitment to health, fitness and growth will never fade. I gave myself permission to enjoy my time back home and to do whatever it takes to transition back into a healthy and fit lifestyle.

    As of this writing, I am happy to report that I have been back on track for the past several weeks. My strength temporary regressed by 20% but now I am back to nearly my maximum on weights and the cardio and meal prepping has been melting away the exceed fat that I had gained. LOVE IT!!!


    The Interventions

    I felt increible for a brief moment after a guest instructor had performed what we all call “An Intervention”. It is tough to explain what he did, but it is similar to what life coaches like Tony Robbins do. The goal of the exercise is to help guide you to be in your body, to feel any emotions fully that might come up and to express them in a safe, empowering and loving environment. He educated us on how our minds worked and the technique he would be using prior to the interventions, so it help everyone be comfortable with the process.

    It was also an incredible experience to sit through each of the 16 other Rockstars’ interventions as that gave me an opportunity to truly feel and get to know who the they really are as a human being at their extremely vulnerable moment. These were also incredibly, beautiful and powerful moments that I wish we had more of.

    I felt extremely taxed during the intervention. I believe everyone who when through it felt in some way, shape or form the weight, the heaviness and the darkness of their deep, hidden and violent emotions coming out. For me, much of my emotions had to deal with anger, frustration, hate and rage I felt towards my step mother and to some extend to my father and sister when I was growing up. A lifetime of childhood moments which consisted of an immense amount of sadness, loneliness, pain, suffering, isolation, frustration, unworthiness, doubt, fear, judgement, confusion and other negative emotions was all channeled into pure and unapologetic rage.

    Thankfully, the guest instructor was there. The container was there. My brothers were there. Yeah, there was a lot of crying, screaming and raging outbursts. That is what the intervention is about. To open the lid, to your strongest, deepest and darkness emotions and develop a practice to release them in healthy manner.

    I am grateful for this moment as well as the other moments on the program that help me learn to confront my negative emotions, work through them over time and redirect this energy to productive uses. I continue to work on this area of my life every day. Some days are better than others. Some days I have the strength to fully feel these emotions, release it through it a good, long and heartedly cry or just talking out loud what I am experiencing in that moment. Each one of these moments, have been incredibly painful and challenging to say the least but they were also very rewarding, comforting and insightful. Then on some days, I have nothing to fight these negative feelings or thoughts and they consume me by taking me down an auto piloted path to actions that range from unproductive to borderline self-destructive.

    My commitment on this journey was made years ago. I am grateful Rockstar gave me additional and better tools to better confront, express, handle and then channel these negative experiences and emotions into energy and fuel towards the pursuit of my goals and dreams. As they say, “When you have lemons. Make lemonade”.


    Las Vegas, Vegas Parties & The Final Party

    I felt incredible every time we went out and partied at one of vegas’ dance clubs or pool party clubs. The exceptional nights were the two Tiesto nights at Hakkasan which included the final party. NOTHING compares to partying at the best clubs with the best DJs at the best tables with all your best friends and a bunch of hot girls. NOTHING!!! The great thing is that we didn’t even drink a drop of alcohol on most nights that we went out throughout the entire 4 weeks. The exception being the night we celebrated Sterling’s birthday and the final party. On top of the parties, we went skydiving, shot some guns and barbecued at the mansion enjoying a hot Vegas summer day as a group.

    To me, some of the best moments were simple:
    - The first moments when I met and hugged each and every one of the Rockstars and alums.
    - The O-WHAL-O moments when we gathered in a circle, pounded our chest and screamed at the top of lungs, O-WHAL-OOOOOOO!!!!
    - The times when we went to Peppermill after the club to just eat and goofed around.
    - The debriefs when everyone shared their improvements and struggles and seeing each person’s growth through the days and weeks.
    - The various times we lounged around the kitchen at the mansion just chatting, talking about what we learned from the seminar and getting to know one another on a deeper level.

    I also felt extremely taxed every night we went out. From the amount of effort I put into immediately practicing what I have learned during the day’s seminar to making consistent daring approaches to getting consistently rejected/ blown out to battling my inner dialogues on nights when mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion set in. Yeah, it was brutally “fun”. It is definitely a unique experience to just go day and in day out and just approach, approach and approach.

    I also felt extremely frustrated because I wasn’t connecting with many of the girls. I am extremely grateful that enough things clicked and certain chips fell into the right places this one time when I ended up spending an amazing evening with this increible 21 year old Austrian girl who was touring of the US with her aupair friends before returning home to Europe. We had amazing and engaging sex and later talked and opened up to each other on a deeper level by sharing stories about some of the tougher times in our each of our lives. I will never forget that experience. Unfortunately, that experience ended up being my only sexual and intimate experience throughout Rockstar. Yeah I spoiled the rest of the post for you and probably ruined your appetite to continue reading my post. Oh well. Go read some other Rockstar’s post then. Yeah, that definitely sucked, but it is what it is…

    Well… it has been literally weeks, really months but who's counting, since the program officially ended... (I feel obligated to put a spoiler alert here for some reason…but I am not going to), I haven’t had another sexual or intimate encounter since. I did warn you on the previous paragraph to stop reading or read another review. This is probably not what you were expecting right? Yeah, $40,000 well spent!?!? Read on… if you dare...

    The Road Trip

    I felt incredible for the sheer fact that I get to travel abroad for the first time since my time in college which was over ten years ago. Yeah, I spent most of the past decade focusing on work while living in a negative feedback loop where my lifestyle consisted of work, wasting away on unproductive things and depressive episodes. How freeing and exciting it felt to once again travel abroad and see the world. On top of that, I get to spend time with my brothers after spending rough 4 weeks in vegas. It was our time to get to know each other on a deeper level and to live as what we had learned.

    We ended up going to Mykonos in Greece and Krakow in Poland. The mansion we got in Mykonos was fucking SICK!! Here is to living the millionaire lifestyle. It had enough rooms for all 17 of us, a giant pool and fantastic view of the surrounding area and ocean. Regardless of how I felt, I took every opportunity to soak in the place. The daytime bench clubs was definitely a unique and amazing experience when we all partied at the restaurant/ bench club from late afternoon until late evening and then we continued by going to a nightclub and partied until 5am in the morning. That schedule was just nuts. In the end, Mykonos was a success. Everyone had good experiences to take away and the group started to come together and bond. Special thanks to those Rockstars who took the time and made the extra effort to organize and made the trip an unforgettable experience.

    I still can’t believe some of the Rockstars was thinking of going to two party locations. Thank goodness we didn’t do that. (Although it probably would have been EPIC, but we were heavily spent.) Krakow was a major gem of a location and I was so grateful that we chose it as the other location on our roadtrip.it was the perfect place to be a little more laid back. If it wasn’t for this Rockstar, I don’t think I would’ve set foot in Poland for another decade. Lots of thanks goes out to the brother who suggested it, organized it and made the entire time that we were there an amazing experience. It was a beautiful city with amazing food that was super cheap and lots of things to see and do.

    One of the best nights of the entire program happened in Poland when we were all partying at pretty the best club in Krakow, the Shine Club. For some reason, I felt amazing and powerful the entire night. While everyone was dancing and hugging around me, all I wanted to do was stand on this dance podium, just fucking be there and overlooked the entire place. Interesting moment...

    On the other hand, I will never forget our trip out to Auschwitz and Birkenau. It was a good hour away by road. Walking through the camp and learning the history helped put many things into perspective for me.

    I felt extremely taxed throughout the entire road trip as doubt and frustration set in on whether I had actually learned anything while I was in Vegas. Regardless of the internal battles, I trucked along the best that I could whenever I was with the guys to whenever we did more approaches. Yeah, it was TOUGH, ROUGH and EXHAUSTING to say the least. In Mykonos, I did have a couple great connections with some pretty amazing and beautiful girls which was encouraging. I screwed up logistic on one of the nights and the connection faded and so did the opportunity. In Poland, my approach anxiety came back and didn’t go away until the very last day.


    Stockholm & The Circle of Truth

    I felt incredible when we all landed in Sweden. I was looking forward to seeing this beautiful country and spending more time with my brothers after the many unforgettable moments we had in Mykonos and Krakow. Some of the major highlights and amazing moments in Stockholm were: when we went to Grona Lund (the local amusement park), chilled, barbecuing at a remote cabin with an amazing scenery and the many awesome nightly parties at the best clubs in Stockholm (The Wall, Hell’s Kitchen, F1, Cafe Opera, Soli and Berns). We had so much fun!

    In addition, I was looking forward to seeing the instructors again and excited to see how the program will progress on this second leg. My initial assumption was that it would be similar to Vegas and the road trip where we would be partying it up even more with some business seminars sprinkled in throughout the weeks. Boy was I in for a rude awakening.

    I felt extremely taxed throughout the entire Circle of Truth which lasted a bit over an hour. It is not pretty when 20 people gather around in a circle to give you a mental beating… oh I mean… “constructive negative-only feedback” from their honest perception of you. I felt that some people really took the time to adequately prepare and gave incredible feedback from the heart while others gave very surfacey feedback and some even gave feedback from the perspective that they were better than other people. It was what it was.

    It was incredibly brutal for me to say the least. In summary, this was people’s perception of me, that:
    - I do not take responsibility
    - I do not listen to people
    - I give unsolicited advice and always talk in self-help quotes and phrases
    - I come off as creepy and not someone that is fun to be around when I am drinking alcohol
    - I do not have a healthy view of women and come off as a douche
    - I come off as the youngest person in the group and behave like a boy
    - I lack social calibration
    - I have a lot of penned up anger, frustration and resentment
    - I do not know how to express my authentic self or share the person that I am

    Yeah, I was pretty crushed at that moment and could barely find the strength to continue being in the circle let alone to give another meaningful feedback. All I could think to myself was, “Holy SHIT! This was rough. How the fuck am I going to give good feedback to the rest of the guys.” So the next feedback I gave I pretty much had nothing in me, but I summoned whatever I had and gave it. Unfortunately, I ended up pulling a lot of punches. It took everything that I got to stay in that room, to stay seated and to focus on giving good feedback. That whole time I continued to struggle internally with the immense amount of sadness, confusion and pain that was just triggered.

    If you can not tell, it was an extremely painful moment for me. Here is how I dealt with it:
    - At some point during the circle, I made a decision. While I do not like hearing any of this and the things that people perceived and said was not always 100% accurate from how things really went down, those things weren’t important. What was important is to remain open minded to the feedback and know that if enough people perceived something then there has to be some truth to that point. Therefore, it is up to me to honestly reflect for myself and take the appropriate action.
    - I re-listen to the entire circle as soon as I gained strength, summarized the very key points you see above and proceed to commit making immediate changes.
    - Part of the subsequent actions involved doing a lot of internal reflection and making tough decisions along with reaching out to the people that gave me feedback and asking clarifying questions. It was so much so much fun! (** Sarcasm **)

    Since Rockstar, I have only listened to this circle sparingly and only when I have a strong mental frame and feel absolutely compelled to do it. The positive note is that I took to heart everything that was said and made significant strides during the remainder of the program. I have reached a place that is significantly better than where I was during the circle while I continue to work on having better social interactions, being authentic and letting go of the past. Although this moment and the feedback was incredibly painful for me, I was and still am extremely grateful for it. All the feedback allowed me to clearly see what I could not see before and with that knowledge I can take effective action to change for the better.

    Lastly, I recall the feedback I gave to one of the Rockstars during the circle, “People won’t and don’t have 9 weeks to invest and spend time with you to get to know you on a personal level.” As I am writing this reflection, this statement resonates strongly with me on a similar level, “People won’t care to or have the time to read through pages and pages of what you wrote on some blog out there to get to know me on a personal level”. Since Rockstar, I continue to work on expressing my best and authentic self early on in any interaction.


    Stockholm & The Circle of Appreciation

    When it came time for the Circle of Appreciation, I did not know what to expect. Although I had channelled all my attention and effort into making the necessary improvements before the circle, I still felt the unease from the Circle of Truth even though it has been weeks since it took place.

    I felt incredible during the circle and shortly after it ended. For that moment, I felt the genuine love, care and appreciation that was possible from the group as a whole. I realized that everyone did consciously perceived and appreciate what I bring to the group. While it was great to hear everyone’s feedback, at certain times, I still felt like it was more lip service and people saying nice things because they were suppose to. Yeah, that is extremely harsh but thats me being brutally honest.

    Shortly after the circle and upon listening to it an enormous amount of times post Rockstar, I eventually realized that the Circle of Appreciation is not meant to be a one and done event regardless of what people said and didn’t say. I feel like people are generally conditioned to see the negatives in other people making the Circle of Truth extremely harsh when people are being authentic. I feel society as a whole don’t value the appreciation of others and therefore it is difficult for people to show appreciation and care for others. Therefore, a moment like this was meant to sow a seedling in all of us to be kind and appreciate others and in turn that will allow each of us to be kind and appreciate ourselves.

    Since Rockstar, the audio recording has been a stable in my development toolkit for whenever I needed a pick-me-up.


    Final Party in Stockholm

    I felt incredible the entire time I was at the final party. Everyone was there. All the instructors. Many of the Rockstars from last year. All my Rockstar brothers were there. We got two incredible tables at The Wall, which is Stockholm’s best and most exclusive night club, and had bottles up on bottles of giant champagne. The energy at our table was electrifying. Everyone just cheering, dancing, laughing, jumping up and down and taking pictures and videos. I never wanted the moment to end. The girls at the entire club was just flocking to our table because we has so much fucking fun. It was infectious.

    My intention for the night was to have crazy amount of fun, be fully in the moment and to take at least a picture with each one of the Rockstars and then as many people in our group as possible. To say the least, I have achieved what I set out to do and then some. It was extremely important to me to be in that moment and remember that moment, because that moment represented our group at our very best! No matter what happened before the moment. We will always be “Brothers in the Trenches” for life because of what we have gone through together.

    The simple takeaway of the final party was, “Have FUN and the girls will come!”

    I felt extremely taxed and reached one of the lowest points on the program which took place immediately after the final party. On the walk to the Max’s Burger near our hotel, I started talking with one of the Rockstars from a previous year about how I was terrified about my path forward.

    The program was ending. My ability to connect with women seem to have plateau to a point where my approach anxiety still rear its ugly head on a consistent basis and my interactions remained short regardless of my improvements on all aspect of authenticity and masculinity. All I could think of was, “I spent all this money. All this time. All this effort. I gave it everything I got… and I felt like I have learned and achieved... NOTHING.” On top of it all, the program made a MAJOR FUCK UP which I have mentioned in the “Acknowledgment” section of this post. So I was extremely angry and furious because everything left me scrambling at this very point. Yeah, it was not a very pretty moment. My head was spinning.

    When we got to Max’s, I felt absolutely horrible. Somehow I knew it would not help me and would be detrimental if I had just went back to the hotel room, cried and soaked in the pain and sadness that I felt. Somehow, the voice inside me told me that I needed to just take one action at a time: take the steps I needed to get through the door, take the steps I needed to stand there and take in the feelings. All of it.

    Then at that very moment, I saw one of the previous Rockstars standing in the middle of the ordering area expressing genuine concern for me. I felt compelled to walk over to him and proceeded to cry loudly on his shoulders for a good 5 or 10 minutes. Yeah, it was an ugly moment but I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. I needed to let go. After that, I forced myself to stay at Max’s and luckily found comfort in my roommate and a couple other caring brothers. I will never forget who was there with me during those tough moments. I guess it is true what they say, those who care show up. I felt a lot better the next day and made an audio recording just to help myself digest everything.

    Yeah, that moment shook every fiber of my being. The effects lingered much throughout the post Rockstar travels and the healing begin. It wasn’t until I got back home and had time to fully internalize the things that had happen that things begin solidify.

    That extremely painful moment found its way to impacting my daily life in tremendous and beneficial ways. I learned to start letting go of things I could not control, start focusing on my own needs first and start being at peace with the place that I was in my life. Mainly it helped me to start opening up and being vulnerable. Most importantly, I realized that by being opened and vulnerable, I would naturally attract those who are genuine, safe and caring. I actually just realized this point as I am reflecting on this experience. So more growth points :-).

    There is a also a flip-side to this realizations, not everyone is equipped or is willing to be a genuine, safe and caring person. The ability to care about another person is just like a skill that one needs to develop. Without this skill, a person needing help could explicitly ask for help and for some one reason or another, consciously or unconsciously, this person will not be able to respond properly to this call for help. I believe wholeheartedly that everyone has the potential to develop a truly caring spirit. It takes work just like everything else. Most importantly, it requires a person to incorporate it fully into their values and beliefs system. To be able to truly come from a place of giving is to start with a seedling of care in your heart.

    With that said, I needed to become more vulnerable as a person and it also required others to value and develop the skill to actually care about another person. Throughout the program, I felt there was a lack of care for others and a lack of care for the group as a whole. I understand. Everyone came into the program with their own agenda and their own shit they needed to deal with. Everyone had to work on developing their own authenticity and vulnerability as well. At this point, I can say with sincerity is that I am not hurt by the lack of care and hindered sense of community. It would be appropriate to echo a sentiment that I had recently convey to my friend who had missed out on our Circle of Appreciation, “I honestly do not feel hurt. What I feel is that It was a missed opportunity.”

    People can say that I am repressing my anger or that I am not expressing my feelings. They are right in some respect. I am sure I still have a lot of unconscious anger, sadness and rage from my childhood that I still need to work through. I am comfortable with that. (This is a story for another day.) At this point in my life, I feel like most things aren’t worth being hurt or angry about, because whatever negative feeling I choose I will then have to carry it with me. Instead, I choose to view these situations as just another “missed opportunity”. I find this perspective to be healthier, more productive and more impactful because each “missed opportunity” immediately becomes a permanent lesson in my heart.

    Signing off on a positive note. Remember all those pictures I took with everyone at the final party. I wanted a simple and yet powerful way to remember and recall that awesome moment as well as recall every one of those amazing connections. When I was traveling after Rockstar, I felt compel to assemble an Instagram posting where I was able to incorporate all the Rockstars into it. Unfortunately I missed some of the alums that were at the party. Since then I have stayed off of Instagram but have found myself scrolling through those pictures whenever I felt the calling.

    Over the past month, I have felt in my heart that I needed the time alone to come to terms with my experiences and worked diligently to digest everything that have happened along with the mountain load of things that I have learned. I feel like this marks a major milestone for me where I feel a greater sense of freedom and strength to fully re-engage with my brothers from a much cleaner and solid place of authenticity.


    Awakening Moments

    I felt incredible during various awakening moments throughout the program as well as during some of my post Rockstar travels. All the moments that I have written above also fit in to this category. These moments allow me to feel fully the core feelings I have been avoiding or have been clouded out all my life. While others moments taught me to simply let go of expectations, feel the tiniest inklings and allow it to grow so that I can feel it as fully in the moment.

    I felt extremely taxed throughout the entire Rockstar program because unconsciously I was holding onto so much stuff: my identity, negatives beliefs, internal expectations, external expectations, negative emotions and judgement. These moments helped sow some powerful seeds.

    As of this writing, the feelings I felt and the insights I realized have been fully integrated into my conditioning which in turn have helped me to internalize these feelings and insights which in turn continues to be a positive influence in the way I feel about myself, live my life, make decisions and connect with others.

    The conditioning practice all started with a couple bullet points on one blank google document as well as a couple insignificant conscious decisions at various points throughout and after the program to carve out several minutes to do a meditative and feeling session along with reading or listening to the conditioning document(s). I feel this is the single most important takeaway from the entire Rockstar program.


    This is where my story ends… My hope is where your Rockstar story begins...

    In conclusion, if you get a chance to attend next year’s Rockstar or one of the subsequent years. My one piece of advice is don’t let any moment be a “Missed Opportunity”. You will need to define what that means to you. This was my Rockstar experience and its lasting impact on me. My hope is that you will find your true path, with or without the Project Rockstar program. Good luck!


    Acknowledgements/ Thank You

    A special thanks goes out to a friend and former roommate who introduced me to the whole pick-up community and learning how to connect with women. If it wasn’t for him I would not have attended the 2017 Love System’s Super Conference. Attending that conference and the cumulation of my subsequent actions is what made this past year and the things I write here possible. While he was a positive influence in many aspects, his shortcoming also help guide me in finding myself. He showed me what life is like to live as a person who takes very little risks, who have stopped growing as a person, who have grown attached to material things and who blames others for their own problems.

    A special thanks goes out to my friend since 6th grade who has been pivotal before and after Rockstar. He helped take care of my family’s things along with my things back home while I was on the Rockstar program. He gave me a great place to stay to focus on recovery and growth when I returned. His non-judgemental support has been instrumental when I returned. My growth has inspired him to strive to be better. Most importantly, I see in him the person I would’ve become if I would have made a couple different decisions differently, if I did not have the courage to push through every one of my struggles and if I did not continue growing over these years.

    A special thanks goes out to a Rockstar from the previous year who had recently turned instructor. The courage, authenticity, vulnerability and genuine care he displayed throughout this entire Rockstar for our entire class was extremely inspirational and helped everyone seed these core traits early on during Rockstar. While he continues to deal with his own challenges and pain, he has never lost his spirit of giving and care. He was instrumental in helping me discover and express my own vulnerability at one of my lowest point on the program when I felt the heaviest and most painful (See “Final Party in Stockholm”). Most importantly, our talk gave me a chance to be there for him as a brother. I felt like I was able to genuinely offer my perspective on the many of the things we are both working on and share some of my approaches. Our talk also created a space for me to begin to re-engaging and connecting with others.

    A special thanks goes out to the one of the Rockstar who has been making an extra effort to reach out to every one of the Rockstar long after the program have officially ended. He is a testament how much a person can and will grow when they fully commit themselves to personal development for a whole year from genuine sources as he had attended the 10 day program months prior to joining Rockstar. Our talk a couple days ago helped round out some rough edges around my solidifying authenticity which will no doubt make this review even better than if we had not spoken. Most importantly, he reminded me how to truly care and connect with people in an authentic and meaningful way. Also, our talked sparked a drive within me to re-read the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I spent the next day reading, reflecting on the key concepts, integrating them into my conditioning process and living my days based on those insights.

    A special thanks goes out to Sterling and Vici for putting together this program and keeping it going for these many years as well as all the current years instructors and those who have come before. Obviously, none of these posts as well as those posts from years past would exist if they did not personally persevere through their own struggles and ultimately learn the authentic and effective way to connect with women over the years. Ultimately passing down and adding onto this knowledge so other man with similar struggles can benefit and live better lives.

    Lastly, I want to truly honor, thank, love and celebrate the person that I was, for every time he tried to change, for every painful experiences he had to endure, for every decision he made regardless of the consequences and for each step he took forward regardless of the countless times he got knocked down or got smacked back.

    THANK YOU, YOU COURAGEOUS S.O.B.!

    Acknowledgement/ A Major Fuck Up
    Coming from a place of gratitude and thankfulness, I also feel whole-heartedly that I have every right to be angry with in one aspect of this year’s program. I found it extremely counterproductive to the development of all Rockstar brothers when we had 15 ten-day guys participate at the beginning of the Rockstar program. This single mistake was detrimental in several folds:
    - Due to the size of the 10 day group, the instructors had to dedicate a significant amount attention/ energy to them and it was at the expense of giving greater attention/ energy to the Rockstars which resulted in some hindrance of development or people developed a shakier foundation.
    - It wasted an enormous amount of time which resulted in the significant loss of opportunities for the Rockstars to get to know each other on an even deeper level, grow closer and develop a greater sense of camaraderie and cohesion early on in the program which of course had negative consequences later on in the program.
    - The truth is some guys will have more natural advantages than others when it comes to presenting themselves and subsequently developing an amazing connection with women. While I am grateful for the advantages that I do have, I got what I got and I know I have to work 10x harder than anyone else. I can’t speak for anyone else. It would’ve been helpful for me to be able to develop a more solid foundation as well as get greater attention with help on both inner and outer game, story times, one-on-one times, greater support from the group, more time to hang with the guys and other things early on.
    - On top of the above factors, there were also certain elements of the group dynamics that hindered the development of cohesion of the entire group which denotes the importance of doing things right during this critical time on the program.

    I am adamant about this point because every Rockstar made a significant commitment and sacrifice in terms of time, money, effort and dedication. On top of that, something similar had happened on a previous year, so this fuck up was NOT ACCEPTABLE.

    Timeline
    Including this for my sanity to properly reflect. This will likely change in the coming years but I feel it would beneficial for those interested in the program.

    Application Process - Opened in January
    Interview Process - Mid-March (For me were: 3/14, 3/20, 3/28 with final interview on 4/1)
    Fitness Transformation - April to End of July (A full month of 4Weeks2Shred in March)
    Project Rockstar - End of July to End of September (4 Weeks in Vegas, 1 Week in Mykonos, 1 Week in Krakow, 3 Weeks in Sweden)
    Post PR Travels (Group) - End of September to October 7th, October 16th to 25th
    Post PR Travels (Solo) - October 7th to 16th
    Confronting Life After Rockstar (LAR) - October 29th to December 10th

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