Lucien Love's Field Reports

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  1. Lucien Love's Field Reports


    Lately I feel like I've been in a state of analysis paralysis. I've read a bunch and applied little of it. With the Super Conference around the corner, it's time to get in gear. Yesterday I stepped out of observation mode and asked 2 girls for their numbers. They're bartenders, sure, and I know there's a specific way that you're supposed to approach them. That said, I've been using that as an excuse not to ask them, so yesterday I said the hell with it. If they're going to say no, they say no.

    NUMBER 1:
    I went to a restaurant for lunch and sat at the bar. The bartender was cute, probably a 6 in looks and 8 in personality. She spent most of the time pitching a rewards membership to me, so she had a pretty good handle on the frame.

    She gave me the signup computer tablet thingy and said I didn't have to use my real phone number, I could use a work number if I wanted.

    While I was filling out the form, an older couple sat down beside me and the woman in the couple asked for a sample of some beer.

    I finished filling out the form and the bartender came back to me. Before she could say anything, I said:

    "I gave you my phone number, so does that mean I can have your phone number?"

    The woman next to me choked on her sample. The bartender laughed. "You're funny," she said.

    "Can't blame a guy for trying," I said.

    I didn't get her number.

    NUMBER 2
    I went to another bar. I'd gotten the "goofiness" out of my system and sat down. It was like 100 in the afternoon on a Sunday and the place was practically empty. The girl behind the bar was cute, probably a 7. She was wearing a shirt that was way too big for her and it was knotted at her hip, sort of like a cock-eyed Daisy Dukes situation that didn't show any skin. I went with cold reads right off the bat.

    "Your shirt is knotted," I told her. "That's cute, and it works for you."

    She said...something. When she came around again:

    "Your shirt is knotted because you won a drinking contest, and that shirt was all they had to give you for a prize."

    This time she explained that she'd gotten it from a local brewery to wear and that size was all she had. She was getting a bit more talkative. "I can keep up with some of the heavy drinkers," she said, "But you won't catch me winning any contests."

    "That's right," I said, "You don't strike me as a heavy drinker."

    I don't remember the exact sequence of dialogue, but I remember some bits:

    "You strike me as a college student," I said.

    "No, I haven't been a college student for a few years."

    "I'm guessing [local college]."

    "That's right!"

    Finally she 'hooked'. This was my first 'hook'. She asked what brought me downtown, to which I didn't have a prepared answer (and the answer I gave sucked). That's okay. Next time I'll have a prepared answer.

    She also mentioned the beach. I said:

    "You don't strike me as a beach girl."

    "Oh, no, I love the beach. I have to go sometime."

    "You do," I said. "Otherwise it'll get to be October and you'll be kicking yourself for not going."

    I was just about done with my beer at this point so I figured "hey, let's go for it!"

    "You want to go to the beach sometime?" I asked her.

    "I'm busy, like, forever," she said.

    Some impulse in my head told me that was a clue that I should ask for her phone number. I leaned in deep and pulled out my phone.

    "So what's your phone number?"

    "I don't give out my phone number to people..."

    Ow, my pride!

    I pretty much lost control of the frame at that point. I wasn't really that bothered by the rejection, but I did notice that it was one of those awkward situations where I was trying to communicate that it didn't bother me, but everything I did made it seem like it bothered me, if that makes sense.

    I noticed immediately afterward that I leaned in, too, almost like I could see the possibility slipping out of my hands and I was "leaning over to catch it" figuratively. That's something I'd prefer to avoid in the future -- never lean in!

    So I paid up and left.

    So ends my first field report. Yesterday was kind of spur-of-the-moment and my overall goal wasn't to land any results, but just to get OUT of the analysis paralysis and start talking to people.

    Cold reading worked fantastically on that second girl. I experienced a feeling of immediate closeness with her, even though I'd been doing most of the talking, and it seemed like once I "warmed up" with the cold reads, the compulsion was to talk to her more, which was a first.

  2. 8/12

    I finally got the opportunity to go out this afternoon.

    I started at the book store. Usually I stick around the store and read for a while before moving somewhere else.

    I do this because just being around people helps put me in a social mood.

    At the book store, I got a coffee and the barista (a 6 or so) took my order and asked if I wanted a receipt. I said I didn't.

    A funny thing happened then: I felt compelled to talk to her but held back. I got my coffee and off I went.

    The problem was that when it came time to go downtown, I wussed out.

    Maybe it's superstition, but I think that because I passed on that first opportunity, I screwed myself over. I see it along the lines of the 321 Rule in Magic Bullets -- you gotta grab the first opportunity that presents itself, otherwise you're going to get stuck in your head.

    I think that's what happened here -- I skipped the opportunity and got stuck in my own head.

    So, what I plan to do next time: grab the first opportunity, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

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