Is she falling out of love?

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  1. Is she falling out of love?

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now. A foreign friend introduced us to each other during a party. I immediately liked her after our first encounter but she didnít notice me. I really took the effort to get her number, ask her out, etc. Eventually we got together and my years with her is honestly the best in entire life. Although, I canít help but notice that her attitude towards me seems different recently.

    She has become less affectionate and less empathetic. She easily gets pissed at me and it seems like everything I do ticks her off. I tried asking her what was wrong but she would say Iím just overthinking. Iím afraid to ask if she still loves me because the answer might hurt me. I donít know what to do anymore



  2. #2
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    Yes she is probably falling out of love. You sound young. It's normal for young people to change as they grow up, until about 30, then personalities stabilize a bit.

  3. 3 years, congrats.

    Take a look at your life. Do you hang out with your old friends? Do you still do your favorite hobbies? Do have a "guys" night out? If not, you have settled to far in and you are not the guy the man she initially fell for.

    Do you still run a little game on her? Send her cards? Talk about her aspirations? Take her out to dinner? Do you send her a text/photo/video telling her how much you love her?Generally, make her feel special and wanted? If not, you need to and fast.

    Trust me, after 25 years my now ex-wife just called everything off. At the 15 year mark she almost did it, and I reverted back to game. Doing the same things I was doing when we first met. It got me an extra 10 years, but I missed the signs the second time around. When you are in a long term relationship you need to keep things going. In your own social circle, your own life, and in the relationship. You drop any of these things, and it's over.

    What she is seeing is what the next 10, 15, 20, 30, 50 years of life is going to be like. Stale and boring. Nothing but "comfortable" existence while sharing a place with a "comfortable" man. She want's that man she met 3 years ago. Not the comfortable person she has today.

    Hope that helps.

  4. #4
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    This is exactly why "game" is great for casual flings and terrible for solid relationships

    A woman falls in love with a man's fake "game" personality. Eventually he gets tired of the effort and reverts to his natural lame self. Woman realizes she's not interested in lame guy and moves on.

  5. I disagree that game is only casual flings. If you are able to recognize the signs and use it wisely it can keep a relationship going.
    Stating that a guy uses game to create a "fake personality" is painting with a broad brush. I, for instance, don't change between work, home, friends, or in social settings. People who get into any long term relationship become comfortable and simply coast. Social circles become other couples that closely mirror your own relationship. Hobbies are given up for what you believe are important tasks for maintaining the household and relationship.
    One area that nearly every pick-up school/trainer/course/bootcamp fails to teach about is how to maintain LTR's beyond the casual few months. Speaking from experience, and having been in the "game" from the near beginning ('91-'93), and having an LTR for 15 years before the first major hiccup, isn't something I would refer to as lame.

  6. #6
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    You're right, that is not lame at all.

    When you said you "reverted", it made me think you returned to your natural state after some time of acting unnatural.

    You may not change between work & home, but you DID change between home & home depending on whether you feel your wife is losing interest.

    Personally, I am proud to be a "comfortable" (boring) man from the very beginning. Lots of women aren't interested in that and I am not interested in them, so it works out.

  7. Ah, I see what you mean.
    Yeah, I got super focused on building a new business. My job has me working nights, and it's high risk - which she didn't care for. She worked days. So, when I was off I was working on a new business. When she was off I was sleeping. Total break down of communication, and I missed the signs of her losing interest.

    Most people are boring. Even the "top" gamers have boring lives 95% of the time. It's meetings, travel, make a video, edit the video, work on site/book/course, teach course/bootcamp. We really only see the 5% of their life they choose to show. The 5% keeps them going because it is a blast and highly enjoyable. I'm more 98% boring, and 2% total adrenaline rush.

    I'm not here to judge people's lives or tell them they are wrong. I've been out of the game for a while and want to see what has changed. If I can offer a bit of help here and there it's a bonus.

    But hey, it's cool you saw what I was trying say. I was hoping you would get the context and not think I was trying to flame. Thanks for coming back they way you did.

    Best to ya. Hope to see you around the threads.

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