After 4 years together GF came over to end it, then we slept together, very confused?

Hello everybody,

Apologies for the long post firstly.

My girlfriend of the past four years came around to my house two weeks ago and told me that she wanted to break up. This shocked me needless to say as I felt we were ok. On retrospect over the past 6 months or so my behavior was pushing her away with a mixture of small and big things I was doing that was causing problems. After she had came around and left after a 10 minute or so interaction where she told me while crying and I sat on my bed stoic and muted due to the shock she left. The next couple of days I thought about what I had done and chocked it up to the following things
- Allowing masturabation and porn use to damage my interest in her sexually.
- Disrespecting things that were very important to her - friends, her pollitcal views ect
- Being a bit of a shut-in and not wanting to go out.

All of these things I know are terrible now and I feel stupid for allowing myself to fall into a lifestyle that supports that sort of beahvior.

The confusion lies here. Read on for more but basically we had a three day period together which was normal before she went away.

After that interaction we spoke on fb (initiated by me) and I said we need to talk in person more about this, I needed to get some sort of idea as to whether this was salvageable or not? this was all caused by my pushing her away with lame behavior.

After an initial cold and difficult response she eventually said we could meet at her house.

Day 1
I go over and we have breakfast with her sister and her sisters boyfriend, its civil and we all talk as normal. Her mum is there and her mum behaves normal to me also. The two of us then go upstairs and talk at length while in bed, she allows me to touch her and kiss her and we eventually fuck. Now when I say allow I mean that I got no resistence from doing what comes naturally after 4 years together. She was smiling and laughing at my crap jokes and generally was very warm and close.

After sleeping together we then went out for dinner which I had offered as a way to apologise. We met with a group of friends after eating and had a good evening. She passed on some positive comments her female friend had made to her about myself also.

Day 2
The next day we spend the entire day together again, going for a walk in the sun on a beach, seeing her aunt. No sex because we were both hungover, I think if either us were less hungover it would have been all good to go. That night we stay in watching Netflix as she has a sore tummy. Again, close and together, as though nothing was wrong. While on our walk during the day she begins to talk about going on a picnic the next day.

Day 3
I had an interview for a job on the day following so when we wake up this day we have some coffee and I leave to go to prepare for my interview, she goes to see her friend. We don't speak until 7pm, I was giving her space. She calls me at 7 and says she has felt numb all weekend and she needs time to think about everything.

On day 4 she left to Vancouver for 10 days. She booked tickets last minute the other week after breaking up as they were so cheap and she has some friends over there.

She messages me about 3 days later after my interview to ask how it went and I respond, I get no response from her and that was the last communication we had. It has been 4 days.

This all might seem rather trivial but I am very confused. I don't know where I stand. She said when we were breaking up that she didn't see me in her future and we were very different people. When we met and talked about this i explained that had I known I was causing so much damage to the relationship I would never had allowed myself to behave like I was.

I was pretty much playing xbox after work, being arsey and jerking off alot. All behavior that was leading me to act like a bitch really.

Now I don't know what to do? She's obviously busy on her holiday wiht her friends, shes there for another 4 days or so. She's 8 hours behind and she's been online multiple times but hasn't seen or responded to my facebook message in response to her interview message.

I feel like I have no chance of saving it now as she is being so distant but her behavior on the three days prior really confuses me. We have always got on well, have lots in common, never have had any big issues in the 4 years together other than recently.

I don't know what to do? I feel like I should get on Tinder and start looking for some new ladies but then I feel like she could come back and be prepared to allow me to show I am fixing these issues.

Also I don't know whether to make further contact with her?

I feel I should add that other than coming over and telling me that one evening she has done nothing else, still connected on all social medias, all her make up is here at my house, shared accounts on stuff like Netflix are all still active.

Any thoughts or impressions would be helpful, I'm a bit lost at what to do at the moment.

Peace.