Project Rockstar 2018 - Pre-Training Fitness Program Weekly Journals

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  1. #1
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    Sterling is offline Certified Love Systems Instructor

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    Project Rockstar 2018 - Pre-Training Fitness Program Weekly Journals

    The Project Rockstar 2018 class has been selected!

    Project Rockstar represents a multi-faceted complete life transformation. From the moment the Rockstars are selected the training begins. The Rockstars have to go through a mandatory, grueling fitness program. They are tracked daily, with photos and measurements submitted every week for assessment, and pushed to the absolute limit.

    Roughly 2-3 hours of gym time every day for 12 weeks and preparing ALL their own meals as part of a strictly controlled nutrition and diet program. That means upwards of 4,000 calories a day for those gaining mass, and less than 1,500 calories a day for those losing weight. With no question the guys will be stepping into summer in the best shape of their lives.

    Through their struggle and transformation, we hope to impart inspiration to your own journey of self-improvement. While these lucky guys have an overwhelming amount of support and pressure to succeed, there's nothing stopping you from doing it too.

    It is my pleasure to present the Project Rockstar 2018 fitness journals.



  2. #2

    4-22-18
    Week 0

    Hey everyone,

    i dont think we need to blog today but i figure what the heck. I’ll be writing my blogs the way i write casual emails which means i wont be capitalizing or using many apostrophes. Anyway, I’m excited about the program and, as mentioned in the manual, i agree that the diet will likely be the most challenging. I just had a talk with G from down under. I mentioned that i didnt think i was eating many calories since i ate a salad for lunch every day. Hahaha.. I added up the calories and looked at the fat i was throwing into it and realized it was an extremely unhealthy salad! I loaded it full of pecans, cheese, sunflower seeds, pistacchios, 4 strips of bacon. Well, it tasted good! I threw in a diced up chicken breast and thought i was doing ok. Yikes.

    I started exercising regularly 3wks ago to try to prepare myself for the program. I’ve also been eating healthier to get myself ready too. Been doing ok, i’ve lost 10lbs in the past 3wks just by eating salmon, chicken breasts, asparagus, zucchini, etc. i’m currently ~230# and want to be under 200 lbs by the time i’m done.

    I’m excited but definitely having some anxiety about the program. Not in a bad way. Like the anxiety you’d feel before you’d run a track race in high school.

    I’m between relationships so i play around on a sugarbaby website when not seeing anyone. I met a woman i clicked well with and over the last 6mo i’ve spent more time with her than i have with anyone else in years. I’d help her with her bills and she’d spend the night at my house 2-3x per week. I gave her an addittional $3200 cuz she said she’d get me some HGH (hormone replacement therapy). We got in argument and she took off with my $. That argument happened the night i got accepted to Rockstar. I havent seen her since.

    I’m a pediatrician and this was one of the worst cold and flu seasons in decades. Because i was so short staffed at my office and we were sooooo busy, i spent all my time either at work or with her. So it’s actually been a huge adjustment. Losing someone i had developed feelings for and getting ripped off to boot was extremely upsetting to put it mildly. It sucks and i’m still recovering from it. That’s probably my biggest mental roadblock right now.

    I plan on doing a lot of road biking for my cardio which shouldnt be a problem since i usually will ride for 45-60min. I like riding early in the morning. Then i’ll do my lifting in the evening when i get home from the office. If i havent lifted in awhile i tend to cramp up so the past couple weeks i’ve been doing very light weights and high reps to get myself conditioned. I’m nervous, anxious, excited, a little down cuz of the chick, hopeful, and most importantly… open minded.

    Good luck everyone!
    - M

  3. #3

    Week 1

    4-29-18
    Week 1

    I am a sheep

    Of told several people about what I am doing, but not everyone. I don’t think I’m going to tell everyone. The people I have spoke with I’ve said that the one thing I want to do is go into Rockstar completely open minded. I want to immerse myself in it. I want to follow it to a T. I want to be lead and I want to be taught.

    The other day I was thinking that it’s been a long time since I’ve been a student in school… over 20 years. I was wondering if I could go back to being a student and learning from others. Would I be a good pupil? But then I realized, I’ve actually continued to be a pupil in a lot of things. I take a lot of martial arts as a hobby and have progressed (slowly) in Krav Maga, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Jeet Kune Do. I’ve been a good pupil in all of these endeavors. So I believe I have the right mind set to be part of Rockstar. I am a pupil of my mentors and I am going in with the attitude that I am a sheep and I will follow and I want to be lead by my teachers.

    The other thing I mentioned was getting myself totally immersed in Rockstar. That is, I want to give it my all. I don’t want to be a half-ass pupil. I think I am an awesome pediatrician… and it sure as hell is not because I’m a genius (I’m not). It’s because when a parent takes time out of their day, waits in my waiting room, and waits for me, just so they can hear me say what I think they should do for their child… well, then they deserve to get my 100% focus, attention, and detail. Even when I’m seeing 40-50 patients per day. Every one of those patients will get my absolute focus and every bit of knowledge that I have for them I will share and make their visit with me important. That’s how I’m going into Rockstar. I want to give this my all and get as much out of it as I can. I’m old enough and wise enough to know that you are only going to get out of something what you put into it. If I do Rockstar half-ass, then I will be a half-ass Rockstar graduate. Is that something I would do?? No effing way, mates. I want to be a rock star of Rockstar graduates! That does not mean I want to be the best Rockstar, that’s not what I mean. I just want to get the most out of it that I can. If someone else gets more growth from Rockstar than I do, but we both put as much as we could into it, then I am totally happy with that. I would applaud my fellow Rockstar for that and help him achieve as much growth as possible.

    In my week 0 blog I mentioned a chick. All I’m going to say about that is that I’m feeling better. I havent gone back and read last week’s blog (and I’m not going to), but right now I am focused on Rockstar and I believe that focus has helped me. Ok, enough about that.

    Let me talk a little about the meals. Fortunately for me I don’t have a problem eating the same thing every day. I normally do that anyway. In the Facebook Livestream last week the guys mentioned how this will change your relationship with food. Well, that’s already happened for me. I will never go back to the way I was eating before. I had the most anxiety about the meals. Prep, taste, edibility, calories, etc. It’s a lot. There have certainly been some growing pains there but nothing that’s been too out of hand. Yesterday my maids came to clean my house. I gave away about 12 bowls of cottage cheese, about 25-30 bottles of beer (hefeweizens, blue moons, some other flavored hefe’s, etc). also gave away several bottles of wine, a bunch of frozen microwaveable beef meals in my freezer, some half n half, about 20 things of yogurt, some cheese, etc etc etc. you get the idea. I figure I’m doing this for 3 mos, then gone another almost 3mos, no point in hanging on to all that stuff. Now that I’m getting into a groove with the diet plan, it’s easier. There was a steep, steep learning curve there that we all had to go thru. Now it’s more fine tuning than anything else. I’ve found that I enjoy the food. I steam my veggies heavily so they’re extra moist, chop them up, then add diced up chicken and brown rice and it all with a spoon. I like it.

    The exercise I wasn’t nearly as stressed about. I was planning all along to do my biking in the morning for 45-60 minutes and then my lifting in the evening. So far that’s worked out pretty well. I’ve had a problem with my lower back doing the AbRipper workout. First round of it KILLED my lower back. That was more limiting than my abs. yesterday was better, still need to email G and update him. i had a disaster yesterday so I’ve been mostly MIA today. I was going to go for my bike ride but had a flat. I replaced the inner tube and found that it was STILL flat. Yeah, twas an older inner tube. So I had to take it in to the bike shop. They took care of it quickly for me and fixed my gears. i’m driving home and something came loose on my bike rack and my bike fell off onto the street while I was driving 30 mph. Fucking bike was totaled but probably salvageable. It’s going to need a lot of new shit though. I brought it back there first thing this am and actually bought a new 2nd bike. It was there last road bike they had and it was my size and they had it discounted by $1000. Yesterday I had to ride with my mountain bike which was uncomfortable. Today I had my new one so that was better.

    I believe my weight is going down well. I’m only down a little bit from where I started but I think it’s because the weekend before my first weight I hardly drank anything except a couple diet sodas. By Wednesday my weight was up another 2lbs and I think that just represent getting myself hydrated.

    I do think the mentor part of the program is awesome. I’m extremely thankful for G and his guidance. He’s doing the diet with us, he’s doing the workouts with us, and he’s helping us thru it. he’s been great for support and for going to with questions. Thx G!!! I can’t wait to meet this guy in Vegas along with the other two in my group.. D and J. They are very supportive and motivated. I feel very fortunate to be part of this group.

    I’ve been giving the weight portion my all. I had some problems with the abs as mentioned, but have hit the weights HARD. I see a difference when I look in the mirror in the morning. And my gut isn’t pushing up against my scrub top (they don’t stretch) like they have for months. They’re actually starting to fit me again. My waist has dropped 3/4 of an inch and I believe that’s real. I use a tape measure we use at my office. It locks in place once it’s around and then you press a button and it retracts gently until its snug against the skin so it’s pretty accurate.

    Tomorrow starts week 2 and I’m feeling more confident going into it because I’m more confident about my meals and my schedule. Bring it on!!!!

    - M

  4. #4

    24 April 2018

    The first day of the fitness program has come and passed and we have officially started. Its funny how you can go through the day and think “I should write about this, I should write about that” but then as soon as you sit down your brain goes blank. So my plan is to write a little bit every day and then summarise it in the end of the week, instead of trying to remember everything by the end of the week, while pulling my own hair in pure panic.

    Anyway, so far so good I have to say! I’m in the looser group which means that for the next couple of months I’m going to live in a constant calorie deficit while working out every single day. I don't have any problems working out, I’ve been doing it pretty much my entire life on and off, but counting calories is a whole new challenge for me. Yesterday I spent a lot of time just figuring out the logistics of it all, and since I’m away from home for a couple of days it wasn't exactly the optimal start. I won't say it was a bad start, it just wasn't optimal. But I’m convinced that as soon as the routines start taking shape it won't matter.

    What I’m more nervous of though is when the sugar cravings starts to kick in. I have a sweet tooth from hell and I believe getting rid of this addiction will be my greatest challenge. It's a bit ironic because I’m the guy who never started smoking and always told my friends who smoked things like “How hard can it be?! Just stop, you know it's bad for you, and expensive. Just stop and move on”, while never having any personal experience of breaking away from an addiction. I did stop drinking alcohol for a year, but that was more a bad habit than an addiction.

    But I have complete faith in the program, and the support team, as well as my fellow rockstars. When life gets hard, at least we can whine and suffer together! I’m really looking forward to get to know everyone and go through this process with them. This is a group of super dedicated and focused people who are ready to put the work in to make their dreams reality, otherwise they wouldn't be here so there's not a doubt in my mind we won't have an absolutely amazing time.

    In a while it's time to get today's workout going. On today schedule we have chest and triceps, probably my second favorite muscle groups so im looking forward to it. Until tomorrow!


    25 April 2018

    Dear Diary,

    Yesterday I was on a Bod Pod measuring for the first time in my life. For those of you that doesn't know what that is, its basically a body composition measurement you can do to see how much of you is fat, and how much is not by measuring the displacement of… magic? I don't know how it works to be honest, you get to sit in this egg like capsule for roughly 45 seconds x 2 after doing a extremely exact weigh. I used to think they would fill that egg with water, to measure the displacement of liquid, but while I was in the egg I learned that's not how it works.

    Anyway, by doing this I now have a very precise baseline for my training and measuring, and not more than fair to say that I do got a quite a bit to go. Preferably I wouldn't mind losing 17% of my total body fat, but I believe that to be quite an optimistic goal. Doesn't mean I’m not going to aim for it, and even if I would get close it would be a pretty amazing transformation.

    I’ve been struggling a bit these days with getting done with everything. Not the workouts, they are fine. I actually really enjoy them so far. However I’ve been struggling a bit with nutrition, mainly balancing out my macros and getting in all the calories. I’m in the loser group so I don't really have a very high threshold to reach, its just that I’ve been away from home for a couple of days staying at a friends house so meal prepping haven't really been optimal.

    Other than that I haven’t been able to do all my measurements and checking my weight in an optimal fashion. My friends scale doesn't show body fat, and is a bit off on the weight as well. But today I’m going back home again! Home to my own kitchen and my own equipment! By tomorrow everything should be on track again and I can focus 110% on the fitness program. And from now on, if I ever go anywhere I’m bringing ALL my own stuff.

    Today is “rest day” from the strength training, which means I only got a bit of cardio and some ab training to do which will give me more time to do some food prepping. My mentor recommended me to plan out all my meals ahead which is the first thing I’ll do today when I get home. Or probably the second one after training. One of the guys in the group also shared a video about food prepping that fits my need basically down to a T, so I’ll probably use that to start with. Test, track, and adjust is the name of the game!

    That's it for me today! Until next time people.
    28 April 2018

    I haven't been writing for a couple of days, so got more things to write down now. Let's start out with saying it seems like I’m the first rockstar to get bit by the cold bug. Go figure, right. So I’m upping my dose of vitamins as well as garlic and zinc, and hopefully this will be over soon. I did start to feel it yesterday already but I muscled through the workout and then went straight home to bed. I really really hope this won't massively interfere with my progress. But I’ve learned to accept Murphy's first and second law as facts so I don’t really get surprised when a challenge presents itself. Its part of the process.

    I am going to take this opportunity to vent and whine as best as possible though to get it over with! Today I am quite frustrated because I don't really see anything happening in the tracker yet. I know it has just been one week so I can't really expect to much to happen. It's a marathon not a race, but couldn't I at least get a small trend showing? My weight so far is just going up and down with roughly a kilos difference (that roughly 2lbs for the americans out there) and my body fat measurement from the scale isn't giving much else. I do see a “trend” in my navy method messurings, but I only have 3 of them so far because I couldn't get my hands on a bloody tape measure. I did watch a few youtube videos today though to make sure I’m getting the measurements done right and a lot of these youtubers says that the navy method is the way to go so maybe I should be happy with that little trend im seeing there… I’ll take it, why not.

    My macros are a bit off, I need to boost my protein intake a bit, and reduce my fat intake a little bit so more meaty stuff and less eggs I guess. Can't really stop eating chicken which is the largest source of fat according to my tracking but also the largest source of protein, So I guess I’ll have to switch out my boiled eggs in the morning for something with less fat, like egg whites. Other than that I’ve been pretty close. The first two days I was way below my calorie threshold but that was from logistical reasons and since then I’ve been pretty much on the threshold. Funny thing is it feels like I’m eating a lot, and I’m not even close to what they gainer guys are eating! A part of me is even looking forward to lowering the calorie threshold so I don’t have to eat as much, haha! But I bet that will change soon.

    When it comes to the workouts I’d saying i'm doing alright! As mentioned yesterday was rough because of not feeling well but I pushed through it. Today is ab day which is our rest day so I’m just going to take two long walks outside and push through the ab program and then I’m back in bed resting. The ab program is a killer though. It doesn't look that bad, but its hard. Yesterday I was so sore in my core I walked like a duck, it was horrible. Hopefully I wont get as sore this time. But everyone is feeling it so it's nice not to be alone in this. Everyone is struggling with something so it's really cool to have the support from everyone, as well as being a part of it for everyone. Just hope next week is going to show more results than this week did!

    Until next time

    29 April 2018

    Today is Sunday, and end of week one. I’m in bed feeling horrible from this cold that I hope will be over soon. Today is also deadline for the blog posts so all of this goes public today. We’re also making a short video blog entry for the group. I did a short one yesterday but seeing some of the other guys videos from today I feel like making a new one. Sunday also means it's time to upload new photos. This is probably the part I’m the least excited about. I’m a result focused guy, so when it feels like I don't have that much to show it puts me in a negative state of mind. Lets just say week one didn't exactly go as I hoped.

    But nothing good comes out of dwelling over the past, all we can do is adjust from last weeks results and move forward. Work even harder, eat even leaner. It’s just frustrating you know? When you spend so much energy on getting into the program, and as soon as you get started the universe (or whatever you spiritual people out there wants to call whatever almighty force you believe in) just goes “Not today buddy!” and slams you with these in my opinion uneccesary roadblocks. Seriously what's the purpose of a cold?! It’s just a pure waste of time and energy on nothing. Like bringing a towel on a deep dive or playing music in space (Yes Musk im looking at you). Although that last one was pretty cool. (Still friends Musk? Call me?)

    So now what? Well, even though this little virus got me bitchin and whining I’m not going to let it stop me getting my work done. Lucky for me it's a pretty short workout and it's back and biceps so pretty enjoyable muscle groups as well. I’m also looking forward to have my weekly review with my mentor Blake to get some pointers on what and how to improve moving into week 2 of the fitness program. He’s been coaching a 10 day bootcamp for the past week but since it's now over he can give us his complete undivided attention moving forward

    Its funny how this blogpost basically have been whining mixed with messages about not whining since it doesn't do any good. And while risking sounding like a hypocrite I believe both are necessary. We’re all here to work wonders, to change our life's for the better in the most extreme way, and I do believe this to be doable, but you kind of have to get out of your own way sometimes and whining in a blog like this I think is a great way of getting your negative thoughts out of your head and down on paper. It's easier to be objective like this and for some reason it just makes it easier. I don’t know, I’m just rambling now to get a few more words out so I might as well stop here for today. Until next time cuties.
    30 April 2018

    Woke up maybe half an hour ago feeling pretty damn good all things considered. The cold still got me but boy am I winning this battle! I’ve been a bit skeptical to the extremely high dosage of vitamin C since I’m basically taking x100 the daily recommended intake. Not that I believe it will hurt in any way, it’s just hard to believe the body can absorb all of that. But whatever, it's really cheap and it seems to work so I’m not going to think more about that.

    Yesterday I have to say was the day I felt the worst this past week. Both from the cold, but also mentally. I was really whiny yesterday morning as you can see in yesterday's entry. But as I said it's a part of the process and as long as its nothing more than venting into a blog it doesn't really affect performance and thats whats important. After my little emotional breakdown I did go to the gym yesterday and I’m really happy that I did. The workout went really well in general so that it felt great! I don’t know with you guys but for me the big thing for this week has been setting a baseline really. Just figuring out where you at on every muscle group, what weights to use and so on, and since this was the second workout on these muscle groups I felt I could push it a bit. Or at least on some of the exercises.

    Today is Monday which means it's the beginning of week 2! I’m so excited, time literally flies by. Soon we’ll all be in vegas ripped and nervous as shit, getting into the meat and potatoes of this life changing journey we’re all on together and I’m so freakin pumped!. I’m going to get this day started so stay tuned for the next entry guys!

  5. Fitness Journal week 1

    It feels appropriate to begin this first journal with a little about my background with respect to fitness. I am almost 29 and at the start of this program was probably the most unfit I have been in 10 years. This is a reflection of two things: that I have generally kept in good shape during my adult life, and that for the past 8 months I have prioritised work and sorting out my mental health over fitness. Of course since physical well being and mental well being are inextricably linked, I didnít totally drop the ball with exercise. I still practised yoga quite regularly and did the (very) occasional cardio workout. However, my focus has not really been on fitness and as such my physique has been slowly deteriorating into ďskinny fatĒ territory. Iíve enjoyed getting back into the gym in the last week and am looking forward to quickly turning this around.

    Probably the biggest mistake I made in the first week was with my meal preparation. I cooked only a day or to in advance and didnít calculate to ensure I was hitting my macros properly. It was fine in the end as I could just eat random stuff in the evening (shout out to cans of tuna) to make sure I hit the right breakdown, but it was time consuming and inefficient. So as I write this I am cooking up a bunch of healthy meals in anticipation for the week ahead. Iíll get all of the meals in tupperwares in the fridge or freezer, work out the macros in advance and free up the time and headspace that I spent doing everything on the fly for other pursuits. Iím experimenting with some new recipes using the approved ingredients. Last week it was basically chicken and rice ad nauseum. Not only was this pretty dry and boring but I think variety helps in terms of micronutrients too. Of course this program will entail plenty of sacrifices when it comes to eating but there is no need for it to be as bad as it was this week. Iím looking forward to trying out my lean beef chilli and thai spiced chicken in the week ahead. If the recipes work out well Iíll maybe make a video to share them with the rest of the group.

    The first week back in the gym was rather humbling - I could only lift a fraction of the weight I used to. This shouldnít have taken me by surprise, but somehow it did. I also made the mistake of looking at my coachíís lifts in the first week in the example tracker which made me feel even weaker. Comparing myself to others (or even to my past self) is something I want to be very cautious about throughout this program. Being aware of how much weaker I am at the moment has been good for motivation and Iím enthusiastic about turning that around, but comparisons in general create a whole host of problems.

    Firstly, it begets the temptation to start throwing heavier weights around too soon. Since this is not a strength training program but a bodybuilding program, this can be really counterproductive. The aim of each exercise is to contract the target muscle until exhaustion and thus induce adaptation and hypertrophy. By trying to lift too much we end up losing form and bringing other muscles in to support moving the weight. So the target muscle can actually end up getting worked less. This can be fine if you want to be stronger in sports, but for an aesthetics program like this itís not the aim. Lifting weights that are too heavy too soon also increases the chance of injury which would obviously be a disaster for our training plan.

    Of course there has to be a balance here - I want to lift weights that are heavy enough to ensure I am really pushing myself in the workouts. I think Iíve been pretty good about this in the first week, using the warm up sets to predict what Iíll be able to lift and adjusting accordingly depending on whether I fail before or after the required rep range. Typically Iíve been failing just short of the target rep range and so adjusting downwards for the second set. Iíve taken a note of all my lifts so come the second round of workouts Iíll be able to know what I should be shooting to lift right away.

    The other problem with these comparisons is that they can make your goal something which is actually outside of your control. In the past I did bodybuilding programs with similar (although not quite as intense) workout and diet requirements. I had significant results and yet I would still feel like I looked like shit. This was because my goal was something along the lines of ďI want to have a physique like Brad Pitt in Fight ClubĒ. That might not seem like such a bad goal on the surface, and I really hope that some of the other Rockstars are able to achieve that if thatís what they want, but the fact is that for me itís just not possible. Everybody has their unique genetic quirks and one of mine is a mild deformity that means Iíll never be able to look quite like that. When I inevitably failed I felt miserable and eventually ended up losing motivation to go to the gym at all.

    So in this first week I want to set my main intentions for the program. My goal at the end isnít to be able to lift a certain amount, have lost a certain % of fat or put on a certain number of pounds of muscle. My goal is simply to give the program my absolute best effort. If I can look back in 12 weeks and feel like I achieved that, then Iím sure that numerous the benefits will come as a consequence. And most importantly, the goal of doing my best is very much within my control.

  6. Week 1 - Sunday April 29th, 2018 - My Transformation Continues. Speed Bumps Detected.


    *** Summon the courage to be brave, break through and attack life. ***

    I guess I did not think it would be this tough for me to write a simple journal entry to summarize this week. Instead, I haven’t been able to write more than a whole paragraph until this morning. Somehow, in my mind, I had turned this little rabbit of a task into some big giant monster to tackle and subdue. It became something of a mountain for me to climb, because it is something that I have a stake in, a timeline and consequences.

    That is the greatest challenge for all of us. Especially for me. I have realized that at some point in my life I had started to turn simple things into something way way way bigger than it actually was. It inhibited my growth. It created challenges and obstacles where none existed or would have been easy to overcome. I became my worst enemy. With the completion of Week 1, I am grateful to be on this journey with you, my brothers, and take this as an opportunity to recognize a key and critical point for the road ahead:

    Fear not the challenge. Fear only the hell we create for ourselves. Summon the courage to be brave, break through and attack life. Remember fear is really False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.).

    *** Week 1 - The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. ***

    I am so grateful to be on this program, to have all the great support from my fitness mentor(s) and our crew via Messenger/ WhatsApp. Officially, our Brothers in the Trenches.

    * THE GOOD *

    FITNESS

    Fitness has been one of the key spotlights of the program for me. When I was exploring Project Rockstar at the beginning of the year, I was already doing High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) at home and going to the gym on a regular basis. I have been working out for years but had little results. I realized as I increase my commitment and set better boundaries. I got more results. This happened over the past 18 months where there were several points where I have done this and I saw improvements in my physical condition.

    Like I said when I applied to Project Rockstar, it has already changed my life even before being in the program. I read the blogs and articles of the program from the past years and realized they were doing the Kris Gethin 12 week program. Therefore, once I committed to applying to Project Rockstar, I committed to up my game in fitness by selected Kris Gethin’s 4 Weeks 2 Shred program while replacing routine of West Coast for Skinny Bastards (WC4SB) and HIIT.
    While I had lost probably lost a good 20 pounds over the years since I committed to health and fitness. At my highest, I weighed nearly 200 pounds on my 5’ 6.5” frame. My friend in front of his kid called me “Uncle Cubby”. I was in the 170s at the beginning of this year. At the end of February, prior to the 4Weeks2Shred program, I weighted 161 lbs at 15.8% body fat. I never thought I would ever see 150s in my lifetime. At the completion of 4Weeks2Shred, I reached 150 lbs at 13% body fat. Yes, the body fat monitors at the gym could be wonky, but I had noticeable improvements in physique and energy level.

    It was AWESOME! I committed to 4 weeks because it helped me tackle multiple goals at once. It was something that felt “Within Reach”, just 4 weeks, that it didn’t seems like a major mountain to climb and I can use whatever results I get to help provide more moment onto the Project Rockstar fitness program as well as give me a small win in the bag. The plus side of being in this 12 Week program, Kris Gethin’s Daily Trainer is that it only required two daily 20 minutes cardio session. Where as, when I was on Kris Gethin’s 4 Weeks 2 Shred, I was doing two daily cardio session that would escalate from 40 minutes to 55 minutes in the last week of the training. So I get some time back.

    NUTRITION

    I started eating healthy, what I thought was healthy, years ago with most of the improvements over this year. I ate salads daily and small portions of healthy foods. My two main challenges were that the protein that I ate was mainly lunch meat (turkey) and I have a habit of snacking on party mixes, chocolate and other treats. On most days, they were really just a small (half cup) treats for myself. On some days, I wouldn’t be able to control myself and I would have a couple more portions.

    Once I started Gethin, the 4 Weeks program, it opened my eyes to what it really takes to get real physical results. I was eating pretty much the same foods we are all eating today as part of the 12 Week Trainer program but I was only eating about 1,600 to 1,700 calories on a daily basis. Either way, I am grateful that I started the 4 Weeks 2 Shred program because it give me real results and helped establish much of the healthy habits we are working on in this program.

    * THE BAD *

    PROGRAM TRANSITION

    While I am glad that I started on the 4 Weeks Gethin program, I had to make some major adjustments to fully transition to the 12 Week program. There was about a 3 weeks gaps between when I completed the 4 Weeks program to when I would start on the 12 Weeks program, I noticed my discipline slip in some areas mainly the nutrition. I gave myself an opportunity to eat some of the snacks that I couldn’t while on the 4 weeks and there was also a business trip involved. Long story short, I put back on a few pounds and my workout routines were at 90 to 95% capacity. From a fitness side, still very very good compare to where I was. Once I realized that I can be so much more, when it came to fitness, it definitely helped increased my engagement once I started the 12 Weeks program. All rainbow and sunshine right? WRONG.

    The difficulty came when I realized what being a “Hard Gainer” means. I had to eat 2,000 more calories than I was regularly eating. I have to keep track of macros and make sure to eat the full ~3,500 calories every day. If you miss a meal, you have to make it up later. Since I had to keep track of the calories and macros, the meal prepping system that I had set up for the 4Weeks2Shred program had to be changed dramatically. I had to realize that I had to make more food!!! It would be harder to track if I want variety in my meals. Oh I have to ask for permission on what I can and can not eat. Oh, I can’t have any treats at all. Even on the 4 Weeks program, I would still get my couple bits of dark chocolate and just a portion of banana bread. Nope. My small pleasures taken away :-(.

    On the 4 Weeks, I would just set my alarm to specific hours of the day to eat. I was not strict on the measurements and mostly just eyeballed the portions. If I missed a meal, it is ok. Just as long as I eat something. These were some of my major adjustments. Glad to say, I am adjusted and is looking forward to the results of the 12 weeks program.

    * THE UGLY *

    STRIKE ONE - MISSED DAY 7 OF GYM

    Do you know the feeling that you get when you drive up to the gym, the parking lot is dark and empty and you come to the realization that today is Sunday and your gym closes early on Sundays. On yeah it happened. It was a major oversight on my part where I was in negative mental state since I woke up at 1pm and most of the day until a funny thing happened with the kitty which got me moving and I did my 1st cardio session at home around 5pm. Somehow in my mind, I thought it was like every other day and the gym will be open until 11pm. BIG MISTAKE. Good thing I was still able to complete my cardios.

    I texted Gordon and our fitness WhatsApp group shortly after this realization. I felt horrible for letting him down and letting my other brothers down. By the way, I am so proud of you Peter. It seems like you had the same realization, caught it early and was able to find a creative way to get into a 24 hour fitness facility for at least a day. Way to go brother!!

    Long story short. I am glady making up the Day 7 session this morning. Probably right now as you are reading this lovely admittance of failure. Oh yeah, that also means, I will be at the gym tonight at 9pm to close out my day 8 weights. I am totally fine with that as I do feel an abundance of energy as I get more fit. I know that my most formidable challenge remain the ones in my mind. I know I will continue to grow stronger with your guy’s help.

    *** Closing - Week 1 ***

    * ALWAYS HAVE AN END IN MIND *

    Hopefully you found my journal relatable and funny at times. We are in this together.

    I had originally penciled in this section as the starting framework for this week’s entry. I guess you will have to wait until next week for me to expand a little further on this section. These are the same whys I committed to when I applied and remain the same whys I continue to commit to day in and day out. For now I leave you with this snippet in hope that you do not ever lose sight of what “the end” means for you during these 12 weeks then the 9 weeks of Rockstar and then the weeks, months and years afterwards...

    As I continued on my life-long journey of growth, learning, doing and living a truly abundant lifestyle, with Project Rockstar as a major propeller on that journey, I want to maintain absolutely focus, dedication and obsession to what I want to achieve, why I signed up for this program and what gave me the courage to choose to pursue an abundant lifestyle in the first place.

    My “Why” and the Road Ahead
    * To enhance my abundance mindset so I can be, do and learn more
    * To never stop expanding my horizons and recognizing new opportunities (“When the student is ready. The teacher will appear.”)
    * To have in my life an abundance of women that I find interesting (An “abundance of women” mentality, where who I am comes out effortlessly and genuinely as “My life is in focus… I have lots of fun with great friends… I am also successful with beautiful women.”)
    * To make Project Rockstar a part of my life now and every single day
    * To stay committed to health, vitality and fitness for LIFE
    * To work my ass off before, during and after Project Rockstar
    * To stay engaged and remain supportive before, during and after Project Rockstar

    Best of luck to everyone on the program as well as those following our journeys on this forum. Let me tell you. I was sitting exactly where you are 4 months ago. I did not even considered joining Project Rockstar when I attended Super Conference in September 2017. Here I am now. In the "Trenches" with my brothers. Every single day.

    Key Lesson of the Week 1 ~ DISCIPLINE ~ "How you treat your fitness is how you will treat the Project Rockstar program." ~ G (My Fitness Mentor)

    My Mantra ~ "Dare and Do Greatly. Always @ Play. Live Abundantly. Always Striving." ~

  7. Sunday the 30/04/2018 (this is posted late cause we didn't have access earlier).

    Well week 1 is up and I’ve learnt a lot about myself, especially my mindset & how I am motivated.

    I am a gainer, starting from around 72kg with a personal goal of getting above 80kg (since I’ve never done that before) then focusing on being ripped/shredded. Given I am a gainer, I’ve had to consume 3,700 calories daily, which by my regular standards is insane.

    So let’s start with the nutrition side of things. I am so over chicken breast already (and food in general). I normally love eating and am known by my friends to eat the most. But now it feels different, now it’s a struggle, now I have to convince myself to finish my food. It’s SO MUCH slower too.

    This week has been hard. There have been so many changes to my life, that it caused a lot of chaos early on and I’m only now starting to come to grips with it. For example, the sheer quantity of meals required I've never dealt with before. So meal prep is a major part of my week and yeah, I’ve never cleaned up so much in my whole life either! This one week alone, is probably a years’ worth of washing up.

    Probably the worst thing though, is that with this diet, I can’t stand the smell of my own farts now. After about day 4, they became insufferable. I prayed they would go away or return to normal, but as of day 7, they are still violent & room clearing. This has never happened before.

    Another huge challenge is the amount of time the fitness program takes up, in terms of cooking and cleaning, but also training itself. It’s a minimum 40 mins a day just for cardio! And since I am not a gym person at all, almost all of the exercise are foreign to me. So I’m spending some time on YouTube & in Gethin’s library.

    So yes, it’s challenging, time consuming, VERY NEW to me, I’m out of my comfort zone and I’m having to adapt very quickly. Given all of that though, I am loving it. Let me explain.

    I love the growth. I love that I am changing who I am. Because I’m dealing with so many things I haven’t dealt with before, I have to create who I am! For example, I’ve never been a gym person and I don’t really like the idea of it (I am a functional training type of guy, BJJ, MMA, Movement, Calisthenics etc.) but I’ve decided to think about this is all as an exciting experiment, to see what “gym life” is all about & what can be achieved, and then I’ll truly know its pros and cons.

    I am really embracing what I’ve been hearing from the PR Crew, that this is an important part of mentally preparing yourself for the 9 weeks together. That’s what is exciting to me, much more than the body I’m going to get at the end. I am LOVING the mental aspect of this.

    I would never do something like this fitness program (just because it’s not really my style of training), but I am doing it, and doing it 100% because I trust in the PR team & how it will add to my journey of personal development. What I find fascinating is how dedicated I am because of the positive peer group pressure. I love that.

    It’s allowed me to block out all the dumb shit and make my decisions clear. I don’t get tempted by “other food”, because I just know it’s not an option, I won’t let the team down. I don’t think about skipping exercises or not giving my all, because it’s not an option. I won’t be that guy who gets to Vegas and clearly didn’t put the work in, who didn’t grind through what everyone else had to. It’s a shared experience and shapes you, I’d be so disappointed if someone else didn’t play full out with the fitness program.

    Continuing with the concept of decision clarity, instead of now thinking: oh should I have the “chocolate” or not? It’s more: I can’t have the chocolate, and why is that a good thing? Which forces me to keep my eye on the prize. I say to myself, I want to be that guy who can say: I didn’t have a single cheat meal. I have no major cravings for other food, because it’s just not part of my realm of possibilities. That’s a new feeling for me and I’ve loved discovering it.

    It’s powerful to me, to see what is possible with myself. Now I understand how to be perfectly disciplined with my food & training. They’ve become a MUST. I’ve tried to diet in the past before, but I’ve never had a strong reason or “why” like this, and I can see now why that was the problem.

    My mentor has been fantastic, I really love his guidance & especially his motivation. I don’t like running and I don’t do it, but I started running to the gym (takes 10 mins) so that I could save time by not driving (i.e. eat into my 20mins of cardio!). I hated it for the first 2 days and really struggled to not have breaks. But my mentor said some stuff about when you’re exhausted, your muscles are only at 25% capacity, so it’s just a mental fight. I agreed & took that on board. Then when I ran the next day I believed that I could it without so much drama and it became true. So now he’s helped me build an early belief that I can finish the run without stopping (even though I still want to stop, I don’t!)

    The time doing cardio has really helped me with my business & life in general. Because it makes me all hot and sweaty…. Hahaha, but seriously it allowed me to get into a “peak state” - where I feel almost invincible. I think it’s really important to get there at least once a day. Then when I think about my challenges with my business, I feel much better & more certain about smashing them, and I burn into myself a belief that I can do this.

    Overall for me this isn’t so much about the body I’ll achieve, but more of doing the process and battling with my mind to do the hard work that we are all doing so that I am prepared for the trials of Vegas & Stockholm.

    I’m very excited to create myself. To learn & create how I will stay motivated, disciplined, what I’ll do when it gets really tough. For example, on the first day I already had a cold from the weekend, and I was like, great wtf do I do? Do I rest? Do I just hit it? What!?! And I decided, well there’s no way I’m going to miss the first day, if I get worse, then I’ll rest. But what happened was, I had a mad session and the cold was virtually gone the next day! I’m sure all the supplements I smashed helped. But even from this, I had to create who I am, I had to make a decision. And this whole week has been like that.

    I’m loving all this because it motivates me for all aspects of my life, because I am constantly asking myself why am I doing this shit? And in order to keep going, well I need to answer it! And when I do, I feel good. I get re-focused on the prize of the 9 weeks away! I focus on why did I sign up to this program - to become a better person.

  8. Sunday the 06/05/2018
    It’s the end of week 2 now, and the highlight would be the first call I had with my mentor. Definitely not almost vomiting haha.

    I’ve decided to write these blog posts more for the purpose of myself re-reading them sometime in the future. And being able to see my growth. So I’m going to talk more about my current mindset & emotions etc, so that in 4 months or 5 years I can look back and truly see my growth.

    Let’s start with the highlight. Damn, so the first call with my mentor was awesome, we just talked about standard stuff like how’s it all going? Do you feel ok etc. Which was great and he asked me if I had any questions, and of course I did. I love question time! Then I expressed to him that, as he knows, this is quite hard and I would love to hear a story about the Vegas / Swedish part of PR trip so that I could have something to visualise, work towards and be motivated by. He happily obliged and proceeded to tell me a WONDERFUL story in all the detail that I loved. I haven’t stopped thinking about it all week. I left that call so motivated, so pumped, so filled with energy and certain about why the fuck I am doing all this. I love how much in common I have with my mentor, similar backgrounds and limiting beliefs (well not for him anymore!!! Haha) etc. So I can’t wait for our next session, cause he said he’ll give me a story every week. What a champion!

    So the story he told me, involved a hot blonde, my FAVOURITE. I’ve been thinking about that story every day and have added it to my ‘daily readings’. I think about it when I’m in the gym. I think about it when I’m failing on my last reps, about how I am going to look & feel in Vegas and then consequently all the rewards I will get. It’s so much better when I have a clear picture to visualise, a clear scenario, a vivid scene. It pulls me forward.

    I feel so excited about Vegas… I feel like everything is going to change in my life and mainly my head after those 9 weeks. I don’t mind being only focused on my businesses and fitness right now because I’d rather go for girls after PR and I know it will just be legendary. My understanding will be at a new level. I’m so curious to see how I will talk differently to all the girls around me now, my social circles & training etc. I wonder if I’ll be able to look back to now and remember how I used to be. Like how I was at my business partners’ 28th last weekend. How will I be at his next event? With those people? With those girls? Will they notice anything different about me?

    Something my mentor said I should do is meditate. I keep putting it off and/or forgetting about it. This week I’m going to start at 3 mins a day with headspace & build up that number and momentum coming into PRS. Future me, I hope you’re happier now that I started doing this this week haha.

    Something else I’ve started contemplating knowing PR is going to be life changing, I’ve really started to question my “personal legend” (a concept from the sick book called “The Alchemist”). What do I really want to be doing? How does my business, house, car, relationships, location, peer group and all of it feed into my personal legend? The way it is right now doesn’t feel completely right. And I really suspect that this whole journey, including this 12 weeks and the 9 weeks together is really going to give me clarity. But right now when I think about all the possible scenarios I am thoroughly confused and laced with worry & stress. When I read back on this, I wonder where I’ll actually be haha. I mostly like to live by: everything will be ok in the end, and if it isn’t, than it isn’t the end yet. But that’s easier said than done. And right now, I can tell you I don’t know how it’s going to all work out – but it has too, it always does, I’ll find a way… and i wonder what it will be. So exciting (but more nerve wracking now haha).

    It surprises me a little that Ab Ripper X is not getting easier… not sure why. I have a pretty good set of abs/core but this is still so fucked. This week was the first time I did 50 of those mason twists, the very last exercise. I always do that now, but god it’s such a head fuck. I find the whole Ab Ripper X thing to be such a mental game. I’m constantly trying to push myself and not give up out of mild discomfort, but only cause my body is breaking. I look forward to the cutting part, cause I feel like all this ab ripper x effort is being hidden by the layers of fat I’m putting on haha.

    However, looking at my photos from today compared to 2 weeks ago, my “V” is actually more defined, so that’s cool (and no, not V for vagina, but the other V haha). Great to see some results.

    On that note, since starting, I’ve put on 4.4 kg which I’m proud of. This is a cool little science experiment. I feel like I’m getting bigger too, yes in a fatty way, but i mean in a good way too, so that’s nice. I really wonder how this is all going to affect my Calisthenics training. I’m still practicing handstands everyday at the gym, cause I don’t want to lose them. But im hoping I do get some actual strength gains so I can do more pull ups, handstand push ups etc. We’ll see.

    Oh today was the super set leg day. That was fully retarded. I’ve never been so emotional in a gym before. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. I was like in a peak state crushing it, then I was beating myself about how shit I am, then I was like flatout exhausted and just lying on a wall thinking I was going to die or passout at any minute. It was an incredible journey. One I do not look forward too. I learnt very quickly not to hold my breath while doing 50 hack squats and also NOT to push up with my neck, cause when I got off, omfg, I thought I was malfunctioning as a human. Luckily, after 5 mins I survived and returned to a steady functioning state. Alleluia.

    The food quantity is more comfortable now and into routine. I’ve got some flow but some days are just totally fucked, im not sure why.

    At least once a day i get a really sick feeling, like im going to throw up, and it’s always just before i make the decision to eat another meal. My body is telling me: “dude you definitely don't need another meal”. Logically i agree, but then i just move forward toward the fridge anyway hahaha. Since I am naturally competitive, I just think of all the other PR Crew and i just do it. Nike style. That’s why im so goddamn excited about when we’re all together, cause i am going to go CRAZY with execution. I will be at the head of the pack if not the number 1 executor (if you are reading this & want to challenge me, let’s do it!!!!)

    Today was actually the worst for food. I was eating my eggs, which I don’t like haha. But I was doing it anyway, and I wasn’t even halfway and I was so full. Then a piece of scrambled egg got caught in my throat and I started coughing but with dry retching cause I was choking so bad. So I ran to the toilet and for 5 mins I just sat next to it, wondering if this next cough/dry reach was going to be spew. So close… but nothing come out. Thank Chango! But it was gross, disgusting, unpleasant and made me wonder wtf am I doing.

    Anyway, life goes on and so will this week.

    Good luck to me and good luck to all my PR mates. Boom!

  9. #9

    Week 2
    2 May 2018

    I have to say I feel amazing. The cold is almost over, even though he desperately holds on as hard as I can with a stuffy nose and a dry throat, but who cares. I need a reason to drink more water anyways. I’m seriously pumped! Today was one of those days you just wake up full of pure joy and happiness. The same happened this monday, I was just enjoying the fact that I’m alive in this world without any notable struggles in life. In fact i’m far from the struggles that big parts of the planet suffer from daily. I got a roof over my head and plenty of food in my stomach. Sometimes you just have to pause and reflect over that fact. The fact that my struggle in the world is that I want to become a better person rather than survival is insane!

    I’ve had some struggles this week though, mainly with the payment getting stuck somewhere in the world, but I’ve been on the phone with my bank representative this morning and hopefully we got it sorted. I sure hope so. I also have an old lumbago haunting me a bit depending on my posture. It reminds me of its existence in the morning specifically before the the body starts moving. Time to pick up them old stretches and exercises again…

    Today I have an amazing shoulder workout to look forward to. I’m almost afraid to say so but strength training pretty easy so far. I’m a pretty strong dude and building muscle and strength haven't really been any problem for me in the past. What I fear is the cardio! Even though my body type is great at building strength and muscle, there is one thing it's even better at, and thats building and keeping fat! Some people have the ability to eat 3 pizzas in a day without blinking, while all I have to do is look at a donut the wrong way and I gain 5lbs. Maybe it was the wrong donut to wrongly look at, I don't know.

    Point being, my struggle is in the energy in/energy out area. I’ve gotten pretty decent at limiting the energy in part and now it's all about maximizing that energy out, which means a lot of horrible cardio. But it is what it is. I’m here to get it done, and that's what I will do. Always remember WWBD - What Would Blake Do. Or WWBTMTD - What Would Blake Tell Me To Do. Whatever the answer is, that's what you do. Motto for life guys, it will change your life.

    I’m going to get some nutrition in the system before going to the gym so stay tuned. Sme time same channel!

    Complimentary: It's funny how some workouts looks absolutely horrible before you get to the gym, but feels amazing while doing them, while other workouts are exactly the opposite. Today was the later. The shoulder workout completely destroyed me. Luckily tomorrow's workout is just calves, so that's almost a rest day! Or will today's experience repeat itself?
    3 May 2018

    So funny story, this night I had a dream where I was eating pizza. Like most dreams nothing made sense, from my location to the people in the dream. And I admit, most of the dream is very blurry, except from the fact that I showed more than one slice of pizza down my throat. And I felt horrible doing it! Funny thing is, I felt even worse when I woke up! I was full of so much guilt, and I haven't even touched a pizza… Now I don't know what to expect. Was this a bad omen? Is the fat craving sugar monster inside of me finally waking up from its slumber to torture me? Or was this more like A Christmas Carol? Did I just meet with the Ghost of Pizza Past to learn not to eat pizza? I’m going to pick the later.

    I woke up really early today, which is nice because I’m going to move one of my bigger meals before workout. Usually I have just woken up, had my 3 boiled eggs and then pretty much gone straight to the gym. But on my mentors recommendation I’m moving one meal up before workout, and to make this happen I need to buy myself more time, ergo wake up early. Well, not really that early, more like 8-9am. So waking up at 7.30 today was a good start and a nice surprise. It’s also nice to spread out the meals a bit, balance them out a bit.

    I’m also going to increase my level of cardio. Might even throw in a third session a la 20 min every day just to burn of that extra bit of calories. Today's workout is calves! Remember, you don't want to be that guy that skips leg day!
    4 May 2018

    Today is friday and today is also a rant day. We’re almost finished with week 2, which means only 10 more weeks to go of the fitness program. This would be awesome news if it wasn't for the fact that I still don't really see the kind of results I was hoping for. Generally this wouldn't really mess with my mojo either, but it does today. If it wasn’t for the circumstances I would just shrug it off, but now there are multiple factors that puts me off. The major one is the fact that I’m doing everything I’m supposed to. I’m eating right, I’m pushing myself at the gym, I’m implementing what my mentor tells me yet still my progress doesn't seem to care. The closest I’ve come to cheating is dreaming about pizza. Not only did I wake up full of guilt, I felt bad in my dream while doing it! This is for sure a new kind of nightmare for me, in fact this was probably called a good dream a couple of weeks ago.

    ---Break---

    So, I wrote this early this morning. Some mornings you just wake up feeling inadequate, like you’re not good enough no matter how hard you work. And some of these day you're lucky enough to have the universe prove you wrong. Today was one of those days. After having a bit of a writers block after this morning's entry I decided to put it aside and get on with my day which as every day means going to the gym and pushing myself, today it was back & biceps. Now I know I say I like a lot of muscle groups and I do, however back specifically is by far my favorite. And not only did I get to work my back today, I got to do deadlifts. Or romanian deadlifts more specific but i take it! Nothing puts me in a better mode! I’ve been floating on clouds the rest of the day pretty much. Aside from that I decided to take a look at my smart scales app, and realised that I do actually have a trend going on. It's not huge but it’s something, and that's pretty much all I needed. Just something telling me you're on the right track, just keep at it.

    Sometimes we have to enjoy the little things to keep us sane until the big things arrive and depending on who you ask the little things are all that matter… But then again, isn't the big things just a series of little ones? All I know is that I’ll keep pushing myself for as long as it takes. It's okay to feel bad, it's okay to not feel like you're enough, as long as you don’t let it control you and as long as you keep pushing. Pain is temporary, always.

    Also, happy international Star Wars day and May the 4th be with you.


    5 May 2018

    Today has been a relatively relaxed day. Since its a rest day from the 12 week program we “only” have to do our ab workout and plus 40 min cardio. Considering a normal workout can take anywhere between 2-3 hours, one and a half hours workout in total isnt that bad. Besides ab training today it's also been cooking day for me. I try to cook every third day or so, its slightly less efficient I think but I enjoy cooking and I like my food as fresh as possible so it works great for me. It also gives me a chance to tweak my nutritional intake a bit more. Generally when you cook you end up with a bunch of boxes with pretty much the exact same content +/- a few grams so if you're off on something you either have to wait it out or throw away food. Depending on what it is throwing food might not be the worst idea, I had to throw out half my rice this week because I realised it was way to much carbs in my boxes.

    But if you only cook for three days, you don't have to waste as much food (Think of the environment!) and you don’t have to wait as long to get started on the new batch. But I can totally see why you would prepare food for the entire week in one sitting, I mean it's just some easy and comfortable to throw another box in the microwave. I mean I get the same experience but i shorter bursts. New for this week when it comes to my food is that I switched out the brown rice for beans instead. What's great about beans is they are generally pretty high in protein and pretty low in carbs and fat, even though they are mostly carbs. If you don't look at soybeans which is pretty much as much protein as carbs. That's pretty amazing. The reason for the switch is basically you can eat more of them, so you get fuller and stay full longer. This is good.

    I’ve had a bit of sugar craving today. Mostly when I was in the store buying more chicken as always, walking past the pastries and the sweets and most importantly the bread and the cheese. I didn't have a breakdown or anything, I’m a grown man after all but I definitely wanted to you know… stay and talk to them a bit. But it is what it is and as the mantra goes “This too shall pass”, and it pretty much did as soon as I passed. I've reached a point where a part of me still believes this will get worse (and it probably will) but another part of me calmly says that I made it through two weeks without sugar so everything should be fine (which it probably will as well) I did take the liberty to add a itzy bitzy bit of olive oil in my cooking though! I need the calories and I got my fat intake pretty good under control now anyway so it won't hurt. Just add that sweet sweet of good old extra virgin olive oil. This sure is a happy day.


    6 May 2018

    Dear Rockstar journal,

    Today started out slow and has pretty much moved pretty slow. Almost like what I imagine swimming in honey would be like, everything has just been taking a bit longer, and a bit more effort. My ego took some damage on the cardio today. I mean it always take some damage on the cardio but it definitely felt worse today. I’m usually pretty good at pushing my limits, not giving up on the first sight of discomfort but today was different. Because of history with shin splints in the past I’m a bit scared of running to hard so I do most of my cardio on the elliptical since its relatively close to running in movement but easier on the body. And you usually get into a flow after a couple of minutes. But today even my rest intervals felt very heavy. I was completely soaked of sweat when I left the gym. It's not like I’m not sweating at the gym, I do all the time and I don't have any problems with it, in fact I think it's a nice reminder that you pushed yourself, but today it was a whole new level of sweating!

    I believe one of the reasons everything just felt so much heavier today might be that this day has been a bit forced. My gym closes at 3pm on sundays so pretty much threw myself in the car as soon as I was done with breakfast, not giving my body the time to settle down a bit. On top of that I rushed my PWO shake so I was quite full when I started the first cardio session. I know this to be a problem but in cases like this you have to muscle through it. A missed workout is pretty much a red card and I’m not willing to get that for a bit of discomfort. One of the guys shared some wisdom in his video blog today that really stuck and what he said was “Every day we either suffer from discipline or we suffer from regret” and in the end it's really up to you what kind of suffering you want to do. Suffering from discipline is temporary suffering for long term happiness, while suffering from regret is temporary happiness for long term suffering. Or as Shakespeare put it:

    “A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.”
    All in all I’m really happy to be on this journey. Just to know what you are capable of achieving in a short term of time if you just put the hours in is worth pure gold, and I’m really looking forward to see where that line will be.I’m sure we’re all going to reach that line many times over the next couple of months, and every time we’ll learn that that's not really the limit at all, that we are capable of so much more than we think we are. But for now, my entire focus is on pushing it through week 3! Until next time champions.

  10. Week 1 Blog,

    April 20th, 2018 6:31 am

    I AM SCARED AS HELL!!!!
    Today is going to be a scary day for me. I’m going into the office today to blow my life up. Or at least that what it feels like is going to happen. After an initial discussion with my supervisor, I left with the impression that me doing Rockstar would not be supported by my supervisor or the company, and I will find out in a few hours. Because of his initial reaction, I hid and went back to my place. I am NICE GUY. I don’t rock the boat. I don’t decide what I want for myself do it. Doing this will be the first step in my transformation!!!!
    I have been hiding and not telling people about my plan to do Rockstar. And that will have to end today. Keeping a secret like this is tearing me up inside.

    Anyway, I am off to the office right now! More to come on how this goes!!!

    April 21st, 2018

    Yesterday was a truly exhausting day. I went through with telling my supervisor I was doing the program. He pushed back and said he wouldn’t support it. I essentially said, “So be it.” I would resign if I weren't given the time off. Potentially quitting my job must be the craziest thing I have ever done. I am walking away from the safe, comfortable life I have created for myself. I am writing about this the next morning. And I can say that I feel a bit of freedom this morning!

    April 23rd 11:17 PM

    So the request for time off is going to HR. I also told a close work friend that I am doing this program. I still have some people I need to tell. I will make it a point to let them know this weekend. The biggest is my CrossFit gym. I don’t think I can continue to do CrossFit and this program together without overtraining. It was frustrating as I finished the first workout. Usually, I would be there. A part of me wants to hold onto everything the way it was. I may look for a way to go on my off days. I will have to see how the workouts go!

    I believe the appetite suppressants are working. I could barely finish my lunch today. It was either the suppressants or anxiety. I will go with the supplements. But I haven’t eaten this little and not been starving since my breakup. I am a bit worried that cutting to 2000 calories is not enough as my last RMR was set 2500 calories. So dropping to 2000 is def aggressive for me. I will also have to work on my recipes. Fuck is my chicken dry. For my wed meal I will mix it up. I will likely do that going forward.

    April 30th 11:05pm
    So those are some of the snippets of my first week. It has pretty much been non-stop since Monday morning. That is mainly my fault. I didn’t finish my meal prep for that Sunday, so I had to wake up early that morning to finish. I am not making that mistake again just finished a couple of days tonight. After completing the first week, I see that this is manageable, but it won’t be easy. And it will take getting in and creating a new routine.
    After this evenings cooking session, my goal is to find a way to survive eating 11 more weeks of chicken breast. My stomach was queasy typing the word “chick breast.” I have been looking for clean chicken slow cooker recipes. I found a chicken taco recipe that I may have to try. I can’t imagine what the gainers are going. It is surprising how much food you can eat when it is healthy like this. This is something I hope to take away from the program. And this diet seems to work. I have wanted to get my weight back in the 220s for a few years now. A week of the transformation program and that is complete.
    I didn't realize how much food/alcohol is part of my social life until this first weekend. I had to turn down multiple invitations to "Grab food" or "Come have a drink!". But I am dedicated to the diet. I will have to find other ways to be social. Gethin is hardcore in his video’s and like his rationale for not taking a day off from your diet. I will do it for the next 12 weeks. But if I adapted something like this long term I would have to do cheat/meals. This is intense!

    Not Going Out This Weekend:
    I didn’t go out at all this weekend. Part of it was making sure I managed all that I had to do. This was a busy week by both Friday night I just wanted to sleep. Heck, I want to sleep now as I finish up this blog post. But it was good to take a step back from it all. It had become a cycle of Friday/Sat night go out to the bars. And it had become a rut for me. And to begin exploring other interest.

    The Fitness Program:
    It felt like I could see changes in my body from day one on this program. I wake up every morning to see what is new. I didn’t expect to see tangible results from the workouts this quick, but it is exciting. And while I was resistant to giving up CrossFit. I can’t deny that my body has responded to the changes this Fitness Program has introduced.

    Focus for Next Week:
    - Do better on the Macros
    - Focus on hitting calorie count
    - Possibly try switching gym to AM

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