Questions After First Date Last Night

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  1. #1

    Questions After First Date Last Night

    Hey guys, I'm a 24 Male, and went out with a 24 Female last night.

    This was a girl I met online, and honestly didn't even talk for a long time. She really quickly wanted to go out with me on the spot yesterday, like we were texting in the morning and she's just like "id love to go out today" so I went to see her, which is a little bit of a far drive.

    So we went out for a night on the city, this was the first time seeing her... I picked her up AT her place, and went bowling, walked around the city for a bit, then spent a while at a really nice restaurant. The date started I'd say around 6pm, and ended at about 11:30pm, which to me is a pretty long first date.

    So I've went on a lot of dates, some that I knew afterwards just wasn't the best, but this one was probably my best date ever. We just seemed to connect so much, talk about similar things, we were really into each other's interests and talking about personal matters and things like that. We just never really had a single dry moment, lots of eye contact, touching each other as in arms around each other, holding hands etc. We never ran out of things to talk about, we both laughed a ton. There just seemed to be such a strong connection that lasted so long.

    All throughout the date, almost after everything we had an interest in doing at some point in the future, she'd even hint and say "we can definitely do that another time" or "that's something we can do next time" or "that's something that we have to add to the list" as if I'll be seeing her again i guess.

    Now I took her home, it was very late for a sunday (11:30 PM), and today being monday we LEGITIMATELY had to get up and I lived a decent time away. Both of us were tired, definitely from having fun, and had to get going.

    ***** To end it, we hugged eachother for a little while, she kissed me on the cheek first, then i kissed her on the cheek. The fact that that exchange of kissing on the cheek happened pretty quickly and she did it first before she headed off and said "Text me when u get home" kind of thing, made me think there wouldn't be kissing on the lips. Again, this is a thing ive seen and not seen on dates, alot of the girls kissed me on the lips first date and then nothing happened after the first date, others, like this one, seemed like it's not her thing.

    *** Important note, this girl literally just went through a divorce, or sort of still going through a divorce. She was married for 3 years and said she was a mess over the divorce for a while but is okay now.

    Now I've been texting her today, and she's been kind of slow responding, still texting me back and everything, but maybe that's cause she was busy today or something, so trying to not make a big deal that she doesn't seem super quick responding like she was prior. We talked briefly about the date, we both had a really great time and let each other know that, and i asked her generally about going out again, towards the end of the week when we're both off. she responded with "Yeah sure! I'm not sure when im free yet but definitely soon"

    So after all of that, what is everyone's views of this? Between the "girl" kissing you first on the cheek, how quickly she wanted to go out with me before really knowing her and picking her up at her house, and what the texting is like after our first date, and what generally texting is like after a first date.

    Thank you so much for the help!



  2. #2
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    Aug 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Braytc View Post
    Hey guys, I'm a 24 Male, and went out with a 24 Female last night.

    This was a girl I met online, and honestly didn't even talk for a long time. She really quickly wanted to go out with me on the spot yesterday, like we were texting in the morning and she's just like "id love to go out today" so I went to see her, which is a little bit of a far drive.

    So we went out for a night on the city, this was the first time seeing her... I picked her up AT her place, and went bowling, walked around the city for a bit, then spent a while at a really nice restaurant. The date started I'd say around 6pm, and ended at about 11:30pm, which to me is a pretty long first date.

    So I've went on a lot of dates, some that I knew afterwards just wasn't the best, but this one was probably my best date ever. We just seemed to connect so much, talk about similar things, we were really into each other's interests and talking about personal matters and things like that. We just never really had a single dry moment, lots of eye contact, touching each other as in arms around each other, holding hands etc. We never ran out of things to talk about, we both laughed a ton. There just seemed to be such a strong connection that lasted so long.

    All throughout the date, almost after everything we had an interest in doing at some point in the future, she'd even hint and say "we can definitely do that another time" or "that's something we can do next time" or "that's something that we have to add to the list" as if I'll be seeing her again i guess.

    Now I took her home, it was very late for a sunday (11:30 PM), and today being monday we LEGITIMATELY had to get up and I lived a decent time away. Both of us were tired, definitely from having fun, and had to get going.

    ***** To end it, we hugged eachother for a little while, she kissed me on the cheek first, then i kissed her on the cheek. The fact that that exchange of kissing on the cheek happened pretty quickly and she did it first before she headed off and said "Text me when u get home" kind of thing, made me think there wouldn't be kissing on the lips. Again, this is a thing ive seen and not seen on dates, alot of the girls kissed me on the lips first date and then nothing happened after the first date, others, like this one, seemed like it's not her thing.

    *** Important note, this girl literally just went through a divorce, or sort of still going through a divorce. She was married for 3 years and said she was a mess over the divorce for a while but is okay now.

    Now I've been texting her today, and she's been kind of slow responding, still texting me back and everything, but maybe that's cause she was busy today or something, so trying to not make a big deal that she doesn't seem super quick responding like she was prior. We talked briefly about the date, we both had a really great time and let each other know that, and i asked her generally about going out again, towards the end of the week when we're both off. she responded with "Yeah sure! I'm not sure when im free yet but definitely soon"

    So after all of that, what is everyone's views of this? Between the "girl" kissing you first on the cheek, how quickly she wanted to go out with me before really knowing her and picking her up at her house, and what the texting is like after our first date, and what generally texting is like after a first date.

    Thank you so much for the help!
    Sounds pretty normal to me. Set up the next date and try and have logistics more in your favor. For example, places to have sex, adequate time, and stuff like that. Keep doing your thing. My guess is she's not much of a texter, so don't worry about her not texting immediately or with a whole bunch of substance. Just use those texts to set the next date up.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Honey Badger View Post
    Sounds pretty normal to me. Set up the next date and try and have logistics more in your favor. For example, places to have sex, adequate time, and stuff like that. Keep doing your thing. My guess is she's not much of a texter, so don't worry about her not texting immediately or with a whole bunch of substance. Just use those texts to set the next date up.
    Appreciate it. So like i said, today i went ahead and after we said how great of a time we had, i asked to do something soon like at the end of this week. She just said "Yeah sure, im not sure when im free yet but definitely soon" , is that an okay response? haha
    Do you think people usually text a ton after a first date throughout the week or do people usually lay low? Idk whether to text her now or wait a day or something. Basically the last thing she sent me a few hours ago was a picture of her new haircut she got today, i told her how great it looked, she just said "Thanks!!" , i said something like "You're welcomee, just heading home from work" and got nothing after that. Some people said just don't keep texting her right away, wait till tomorrow and ask her how her day was or something like that. I just really don't want to mess it up.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Braytc View Post
    Appreciate it. So like i said, today i went ahead and after we said how great of a time we had, i asked to do something soon like at the end of this week. She just said "Yeah sure, im not sure when im free yet but definitely soon" , is that an okay response? haha
    Do you think people usually text a ton after a first date throughout the week or do people usually lay low? Idk whether to text her now or wait a day or something. Basically the last thing she sent me a few hours ago was a picture of her new haircut she got today, i told her how great it looked, she just said "Thanks!!" , i said something like "You're welcomee, just heading home from work" and got nothing after that. Some people said just don't keep texting her right away, wait till tomorrow and ask her how her day was or something like that. I just really don't want to mess it up.
    Don't get in your head about messing up. It just sounds like she's not much of a texter. Some girls will text ALL THE FUCKING TIME... Like way too much. Some, like her, might not want arthritis in their thumb or just aren't huge fans of texting. As long as you're making forward progress, I wouldn't worry about her texting. Just propose new times to hangout and find out what her schedule is. Most of the magic happens in person anyway. I love girls who don't text much honestly, that's more of my thing.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Honey Badger View Post
    Don't get in your head about messing up. It just sounds like she's not much of a texter. Some girls will text ALL THE FUCKING TIME... Like way too much. Some, like her, might not want arthritis in their thumb or just aren't huge fans of texting. As long as you're making forward progress, I wouldn't worry about her texting. Just propose new times to hangout and find out what her schedule is. Most of the magic happens in person anyway. I love girls who don't text much honestly, that's more of my thing.
    Appreciate it! Trying not to think about it so much, even though I really like herr. I cant tell is the thing, she started off as a big texter, then after we met she barely ever texts lol. Today she randomly sent me a snapchat of her outfit which was odd

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Honey Badger View Post
    Don't get in your head about messing up. It just sounds like she's not much of a texter. Some girls will text ALL THE FUCKING TIME... Like way too much. Some, like her, might not want arthritis in their thumb or just aren't huge fans of texting. As long as you're making forward progress, I wouldn't worry about her texting. Just propose new times to hangout and find out what her schedule is. Most of the magic happens in person anyway. I love girls who don't text much honestly, that's more of my thing.

    So basically, however many people said she's probably still in the marriage, were correct. She said she's "making amends" with him, im just like "thanks for the waste of time, good marriage"

  7. #7
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    When I read your story this jumped out at me:

    this girl literally just went through a divorce, or sort of still going through a divorce. She was married for 3 years and said she was a mess over the divorce for a while but is okay now.
    Ambiguity about whether the status of marriage/divorce = Yellow flag

    Woman saying she "was" a mess over something that happened extremely recently = Yellow flag

    Dating a woman who hasn't had time to heal from a serious relationship = Yellow flag

    ...
    A lot of warning signals. You learned a lesson here. In these situations, you need to proceed with emotional caution.

  8. #8

    She spent a good time with you and enjoyed the first date. So, she will definitely go with you second time also. Slow response to your text is not a big issue. It is good if she is replying your text and sharing the her pics with you.

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