Dealing with an ex in social situation

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  1. Dealing with an ex in social situation

    Split up with my girlfriend of 5 yearsthis week. Mutual decision.That is fine with me, the spark had gone, i do not want her back this is not about that.

    The split itself on Tuesday was fairly mundane but our problem is we have about 50 mutual friends and we will continue to see a lot of each other which cannot be helped sadly. Including this Saturday when theres gonna be around 30 of us out together.

    She is, as with most women, more socially adept with me and i can see her already quickly and softly positioning herself as the victim on social media. Shes basically trying to draw the group into friendships, ones she thinks are more her friends and vice versa ive said to her this is nonsense they are all equally our friend. Shes already booking herself into everyones social lives on upcoming weekends which i cannot do as i am shift worker so don't know my plans from 1 week to the next most the time.

    THen shes stating to me if shes made plans with our firneds first for whatever event it might be best if i dont that event with our friends as it may be awkward. I said nonsense i will go where i want, with who i want. I said i will not be hostile to you, i will be civil and polite and dont try and bring our friends into it. Shes subtly trying to pressure/remove me from the group which i will not allow.

    So tommorow when i see her im going to say hi and wish her well etc and try and move around the group fairly quickly from there but if shes hostile how should i act? She acts like one of lifes perenial victims and always makes people feel sorry for her somehow even when shes in the wrong. Instinct is just to ignore her when shes being bitchy but then she will tell everyone im giving her the cold shoulder out of spite etc.

    Help!



  2. #2

    Good, let her feed off the drama. Absolutely go out, be social with everyone!
    Say hi to her and nothing more, just carry on socialising with everyone else. She will have her focus on you, and it really doesn't matter. Just don't get sucked in to any drama, and even if you are don't feed it.

  3. She never showed up, she bailed like a coward, she also bailed when i took her things to her house, she had gone out and left it to her parents to receive and give me my stuff. Situation detoriated now we are not speaking and a bad vibe between us. Still has some of her daughters larger stuff at my house so will see if she shows for that.

  4. #4

    She wants to avoid awkward situations. People handle things differently. Her bailing is her way of dealing with it. Don't sweat it. You carry on living your life how you want, and going out whenever you want

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